Author Topic: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?  (Read 12524 times)

bothpaninis

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Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« on: August 09, 2014, 09:24:04 PM »

Income: Me: about $95K a year (gross) working for stable employer 32 hours a week. Husband: $64K (gross) working for somewhat stable employer full-time with a yearly bonus that varies between $1K and $5K.

Current expenses:
Income Taxes: $2800/month
Mortgage payment: $2000/month
Daycare: 1200/month (for our three year old)
Groceries: 600/month
Gasoline: ~$250/month <--husband has long commute by car. (My commuting expenses are zero because I walk to the subway and fares are covered by my employer.)
Health insurance premium: ~200/month
Restaurants: 180/month (average over past year)
Utilities: 150 - 200/ month
Insurance (term life and auto): 100/month
Cell phones: 75/month
Internet: 50/month
Misc expenses: ~200 to 1000/month
Total monthly expenses: ~$7500 - $8500

Automatic monthly savings contributions:
401K contributions: 1160/month
Roth contribution: 600/month
Taxable savings (vanguard): 550/month
HSA contributions: 300/month
529 plan contributions: 135/month
Total Auto save: $2745/month plus whatever we can save from budget.

 
Assets:
 $494.5K in retirement accounts (401K and roths)
 $40.5K cash and money market savings
 $26.4K taxable investment account with Vanguard
 ~$360K house value
 ~$15K cars (two Hondas)
$8.4K college savings 529 plan
Total Assets: $944K

Liabilities:
mortgage: $178.4K on 15-yr mortgage at 2.63% with 13 years left

Specific Question(s): We are in our mid-30s and having another baby in October. We are thinking of having my husband quit his job to stay home with the baby, save on daycare and commuting expenses, and improve our overall quality of life. We also have a three year old. (He will probably still need some preschool/daycare part-time care so this category won't shrink to zero after baby is born.) We won't be able to save as much, though. Do you think we can swing it on my income, which is part-time, or are we crazy?


MDM

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2014, 10:00:38 PM »
Have you tried recalculating taxes, etc. with one income?  Either with commercial software, an Excel template available here, or your own?

Would have been happy to take a first pass at the template referenced above for you, but quickly ran into two big questions:
1) Couldn't reconcile "mortgage payment = $2000/mo" with "mortgage: $178.4K on 15-yr mortgage at 2.63% with 13 years left."  A $200,000 mortgage at 2.63% for 15 years has a monthly payment of $1,346.  Perhaps taxes, insurance, escrow, etc. is included in the $2000?

2) Also couldn't tell if "Income Taxes: $2800/month" meant Federal+SS+Medicare and 0% state, or whether you are paying ~9% state tax and the $2800 does not include SS and Medicare.

Probably best if you do it yourself - that way you can do any what-ifs you need.  Good luck!

rmendpara

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2014, 03:02:52 AM »
Not at all crazy. Slowing things down to spend more time with family is a great thing to do... especially if you are in a position to do it.

rmendpara

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2014, 03:05:01 AM »

Income: Me: about $95K a year (gross) working for stable employer 32 hours a week. Husband: $64K (gross) working for somewhat stable employer full-time with a yearly bonus that varies between $1K and $5K.

Current expenses:
Income Taxes: $2800/month
Mortgage payment: $2000/month
Daycare: 1200/month (for our three year old)
Groceries: 600/month
Gasoline: ~$250/month <--husband has long commute by car. (My commuting expenses are zero because I walk to the subway and fares are covered by my employer.)
Health insurance premium: ~200/month
Restaurants: 180/month (average over past year)
Utilities: 150 - 200/ month
Insurance (term life and auto): 100/month
Cell phones: 75/month
Internet: 50/month
Misc expenses: ~200 to 1000/month
Total monthly expenses: ~$7500 - $8500

Automatic monthly savings contributions:
401K contributions: 1160/month
Roth contribution: 600/month
Taxable savings (vanguard): 550/month
HSA contributions: 300/month
529 plan contributions: 135/month
Total Auto save: $2745/month plus whatever we can save from budget.

 
Assets:
 $494.5K in retirement accounts (401K and roths)
 $40.5K cash and money market savings
 $26.4K taxable investment account with Vanguard
 ~$360K house value
 ~$15K cars (two Hondas)
$8.4K college savings 529 plan
Total Assets: $944K

Liabilities:
mortgage: $178.4K on 15-yr mortgage at 2.63% with 13 years left

Specific Question(s): We are in our mid-30s and having another baby in October. We are thinking of having my husband quit his job to stay home with the baby, save on daycare and commuting expenses, and improve our overall quality of life. We also have a three year old. (He will probably still need some preschool/daycare part-time care so this category won't shrink to zero after baby is born.) We won't be able to save as much, though. Do you think we can swing it on my income, which is part-time, or are we crazy?

Your expenses seem high, but maybe it would be helpful to put together an income/expense estimate in your future scenario of one spouse staying at home. Some will go down, while others may increase. You can judge best what is reasonable for different categories.

chasesfish

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2014, 06:49:53 AM »
In short, you can.  Can you post your expenses without him working and estimated taxes?  It should go down a bunch and you'll pickup some tax credits by keeping your income under $100,000.


To the other posters about the mortgage payment, it probably includes taxes and insurance and is accurate.  I owe $223k and have 14 years left and pay $2,050/mo.  I live in a county with high property taxes and higher HOI costs

bothpaninis

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2014, 08:11:27 AM »
Thanks for the help!

Yes - the mortgage payment includes property taxes and homeowner's insurance, plus about 150/month extra on the principal.

Our payroll tax expense will go down by about 1000 after my husband quits his job. Also, gasoline expenses should go down too, probably by at least 100 a month.

After posting, I did a bit more calculating on my own and I think we will get by fine, just might not be able to contribute to our Roths and college savings. On the other hand, our mortgage will be paid off before the kids start college.

We live in a very high cost of living area and not many families take the leap to go single income. Not just because they can't afford it. A lot of times, both spouses really enjoy working. Anyway, it feels weird to be thinking about this when it's just not even something that other people around us are even considering. We feel kind of alone! Maybe I just need some reassurance that we aren't crazy after all from other like-minded folks.

bearkat

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2014, 09:54:43 AM »
Quote
We live in a very high cost of living area and not many families take the leap to go single income. Not just because they can't afford it. A lot of times, both spouses really enjoy working. Anyway, it feels weird to be thinking about this when it's just not even something that other people around us are even considering. We feel kind of alone!

Besides the question of if you can afford it, are you worried about how your neighbors / friends would react to your decision to go to a single income? Does that weigh in at all in your decision?

bothpaninis

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2014, 10:02:39 AM »
To bearkat... it shouldn't have any bearing on the decision, but, yes, it is something that I think about (husband is better at not caring about what people think.) Particularly if I remain part-time (32 hours a week) and he isn't working...

chasesfish

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2014, 12:14:53 PM »
Just reply and say he's working on a couple of large house projects and raising your children. 

I get the same reaction when people ask why my 32 year old wife isn't working right now, the reality is she doesn't have to and we don't spend that much.   Additionally, I'm having a good year and she'd be giving away a huge chunk to taxes anyways.  It's just amazing to other 30 something professionals that it's impossible.

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2014, 12:45:45 PM »
First, STOP paying extra on that mortgage!!! 2.63% is a steal! Don't plan on paying that sucker off even a single day early. You are literally losing money prepaying vs. investing after inflation, with an interest rate that low. All that BS about being mortgage "free" takes a back seat as you watch your investment balances balloon.

Next, how will YOU feel if DH isn't working and you're pulling the income sled yourself? From the tone of your OP, I'd guess you'll be fine with it, but it's something to think long and hard on before he pulls the trigger. Hop over to Retire By 40. Joe's there, doing that.

You are to be highly commended for doing so much right in your lives. My vote is for husband to ditch the job. You (plural) are not going to regret spending him this precious time at home with your children.

I would keep an eye on SS quarters. Your husband is going to need to pick up some work at a future date if he doesn't have his 40 in. He should be able to do that easily once the kids are older.

Finally, here's one of my favorite quotes: "Retiring too early is a mistake you can recover from. Too late and there is no recovery."

bothpaninis

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2014, 07:32:02 AM »
Thanks Diane C! Your response helps a lot. You're right about paying extra on the mortgage, although we've been doing it so long that I wasn't even thinking about it. Now that we have two kids, that money should go into their 529 plans or into our Vanguard investment account.

Emilyngh

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2014, 07:58:24 AM »
  My DH is a SAHD, I really thought I was missing something when planning for him to SAH b/c of the reactions of all of my peers.   Seriously, they acted like I was discussing the absolute impossible.   But, really, we have more than enough money (and I make around $50k a year).   Our sitch is different, eg, our mortgage is lower and we optimize contributions to not have federal income tax liabilities with our income, but we also pay child support.   Bottom line, I don't see anything in your numbers that should stop you from doing it.

These are my observations/suggestions:

(1) income taxes should go way down.   You should qualify for child tax credit x2, now, IIRC limits?   Play around with contributing different amounts to 401k/HSA to see how it affects things.
(2) cut that $1200 in daycare!    Look for inexpensive preschools/parents day out if you feel very strongly about him attending something.
(3) gasoline should go down
(4) cut restaurants!   Discuss making a weekly menu plan that you two then follow and have homemade pizza, *maybe* occasional inexpensive takeout, but not $180 a mo
(5)  cut cell phone costs.   Look into pay as you go options and home phone through Obitalk or similar.   We pay $3 a mo for our internet phone, plus about $3 a mo ea for cell phones.   If your DH is SAH, he should have plenty of opportunity to make calls from home, and you should be able to call him at home from your work phone, no?
(6) HUGE range in misc expenses?   What are these?   Watch and cut these.

Try to keep contributing as much as you can to the other accounts.


mariejm

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2014, 02:42:58 PM »
Hello!

Yes your husband can quit his job asap, and you can quit before you have your second born as well. Alternatively, your husband can find a job closer to home, and/or can work part time or work from home. You can work part time or work from home as well.

The good: you have a ton of savings, a great job income, and a supportive partner. You are very well off for starting a family, and more well of then people in general. It takes approx 700K base savings to retire comfortably for 2 adults at the Mustachian level of living. You are practically there, at such a young age. You can always go back to work. With a few tweaks you can both considering retiring today :)

Details
Your mortgage is below the rate of inflation, so don’t worry about paying it off sooner. You can consider to make it a 30 year to lower your monthly payment. Make sure you can keep the amazing interest rate you have, which is less then inflation. Essential your house payment is interest free. Tomorrow’s dollars are worth less then today’s dollars so just keep paying it without worrying about the balance. If you want to decrease your housing costs you can consider downsizing to a smaller house in a cheaper more kid-friendly area, if you both decide to stop working and if you want to find a less urban and more kid-friendly area with more outdoor space and parks. My ideal is 800 sq feet 1 story for a 3-4 person family with small bedrooms. Make sure its laid out effectively, 1 story Cape Cod style, with small bedrooms and small kitchen. With outdoor spaces such as a patio in the back yard and front yard patio, it will feel plenty big. A shed in the backyard holds any seasonal storage. You don’t need a big house with big kitchens and big bedrooms.

Congratulations on having ~500K in interest producing assets. Do you know what investments these are in? Hopefully the Vanguard or Fidelity index fund, which easily throughs off 5% every year above inflation. That is 25K every year that you get to save or spend without working and without reducing your principle. That is about what Mr Mustache’s family spends each year. Neither of them work.

Why do you have 2 cars? Hubby needs one to commute, and you don’t. Keep whichever one will hold value for the next 8-15 years. Sell the other one. This decreases maintenance cost and insurance costs for the extra car, and depreciation costs. Good decision to own a Honda, hopefully its the small Civic or hatchback that gets great gas mileage for your hubby’s commute or recreational driving.

Can hubby get a job closer to home? This would free up time for him to have less commuting time and more family and cooking time :)

Assets typically don’t include the value of your house which is a not producing anything. The value of your home yearly is the cost of renting an adequate living space minus the cost of your mortgage, utilities and insurance and taxes. Most people spend a lot on housing when they own, more then they need to. You have a great mortgage rate so that is good. Maybe you could turn the property into income producing rental, and live in a smaller space. Either way sounds like you have good house althoguh I’d need to know the age and upcoming maintenance schedule to really asses whether its a good financial tool. Anything over 50 years is going to need major electrical and plumbing upgrades plus roof and siding.

If you have a baby soon will you plan on breastfeeding? Plan on taking off 1 year of work to breastfeed. Also it is better to not make a lot of decisions before your have your baby, because your body and perspective will change afterwards.

To sum up, is it possible for your family to be a one income family right now? Yes. Possible for you both to retire either permanently or short term for a few years to raise your family? Yes!

The following costs are off the charts and what I would replace them with:

Restaurants: 180/month (average over past year)              $50
Utilities: 200/ month                                  $100
Insurance (term life and auto): 100/month                  no life, $50 auto 1 car
Cell phones: 75/month                                  $25 a month, ptel
Internet: 50/month                                          $25 a month, 3MBSP is enough
Misc expenses: ~1000/month                                scratch, $25 a month.
Daycare: 1200/month (for our three year old)                       scratch
Groceries: 600/month                                  $250 a month, this is alot.
Gasoline: ~$250/month                                       scrach, $20 a month maximum
Off the Charts Total:    3655 per month
New total: 545 per month
Savings per month: 3110.
*life insurance is for people with no assets and dependents. you have enough assets to support your dependents in case of tragedy. the monthly payment is money down the drain.

If you invested the difference over 2-5 years, will throw off  3,750- 9300 extra per year! In 10 years you will be 100K richer for cutting these costs today, without doing an inch more of work.

If your husbands decides to retire then he will want to do some household work at least to feel productive. He can easily cover the daycare costs by hosting toddler days with neighborhood children, possibly even get paid as a substitute for daycare. He can teach Montessori in the Home for your toddler which covers through preschool up until she’s ready for kindergarten. Kids love having “school” with their parents, private preschools are a rip off unless they are part time and Montessori driven (sorry I feel strongly about that). The whole point of Mustachian is DIY, do it yourself. Mow your lawn, cook your food, teach your kids. Pretty cool :)

I would recommend on trimming the cost before you get pregnant so that they are a habit. Some ideas:
   Slow cooker. Easy breakfast and dinner with little work.
   Grow a roductive garden to lower your grocery bills and to keep deliciousness factor
   Sell your 2nd car and have hubby either retire or find job close to home
        Plan grocery spending on essentials: butter, rice, salt, spices, occasional meat
   Make eating out a real treat without toddler food (feed them your food)
        Twice per month you can go out for lunches and skip the alcohol and high dinner prices
   Switch cell phones to Ptel
   Cut down on internet expenses by getting the cheaper internet
   Realize those 1K miscellanous expenses are costing you 12k per year, which would require and extra 150K in the investments to cover annual. Nip them in the bud.
   Seriously make great tasting food. With high quality ingredients it costs little
   Fresh veggies from farmers market cost approx $6-8 per person each week. this is higher     quality then produce in the grocery store. fresher, tastier, more nutrients.
   Rice*butter*salt*spices*coconut cream are the staples of delicious global cuisines. Sugar.
   
Eliminate the day care by either hubbie retireing full time, or you working from home 2 days per week and him working part time and then being with the toddler at home
   Eliminate private preschool costs by practicing Montessori at home. See book “Teaching MOntessori in the home” For more ideas and this website http://www.howwemontessori.com/how-we-montessori/2013/02/pouring-a-drink-and-snack-preparation-.html
Big thought: make sure your investments are in the low cost Index Funds that through off dividends. Make those dividends reinvest while you are working, and then rely on them to pay your mortgage while you are on maternity leave.

Misc thoughts
If you want to keep your job for security and for fullfilment, will your employer let you go part time so you can raise your newborn? Can you work at home 3 days per week with a newborn?

Does hubbie want to work part time, closer to home?

In short, congratulations!

bugbaby

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2014, 07:22:17 PM »
Hi, and congrats on your babies, and on getting to a wonderful financial position to do great on a single income... You don't need to worry for a second how your neighbors judge your chosen lifestyle .. The magic word is choice... You got it, they prob don't.

Anyway you should be set, and am sure your quality of life will go up - as long as your dh will actually like being a sahd.. Its not for everyone you know.. Can he take a month vacay to try it out before cutting off?

Other thing to consider: heath coverage for the family, if not already from your pay, what will it cost?
« Last Edit: October 19, 2014, 07:24:33 PM by babybug »

1967mama

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2014, 07:57:02 PM »
As a SAHP myself, I'd say drop the daycare/preschool and just hang out with other parents at free community programs, library story times, etc. Soooo not necessary. There are plenty of good threads on this on this forum.

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2014, 10:05:58 PM »
Hey bothpaninis,
I forgot I'd commented on this thread before. I just scanned your OP and jotted some notes down, literally on the back of an envelope. Then I scrolled down and saw my original comment, which made me laugh out loud. I think I must be a broken record! Then I saw your response. Supplementing the 529 is a brilliant use of the money, compared to prepaying the mortgage. Great idea! My other points on the envelope were covered beautifully by mariejm, so I'll not add to them, except to ask you about The Tightwad Gazette. Have you read it? Amy Dacyczyn was really adamant about the savings that can be realized to allow a family to thrive on one income. Get the Big Blue Book, which is a compilation of all three books plus additional content. It's worth paying retail for, gasp!

If mariejm or anyone else mentioned this, I apologize. I hope I'm not being redundant to say that if you have this much money in assets at your age, it's quite possible that you never have to save another cent. If you invest in a moderately aggressive, aggressively balanced low-cost portfolio, you are very likely to end up with a huge army of green soldiers. Except to get any available match from your employer, I'd strongly consider it. It will help your transition to a single income family.

Finally, with a SAHD and a not-quite full time mom, your kids will be way ahead of all the day-care kids. Forget pre-school. Your children will not suffer from "too much" time with their mom & dad.

retired?

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2014, 08:13:00 AM »
I think without even looking at your expenses, the answer is yes.  At its most basic, the question is "can a family of four live off 100k?"  The answer is yes and I think regardless of your locale.

He can always go back at some point.  It's a low risk decision in my view.

I'll reiterate a few points made so far:  don't prepay mortgage, don't pay for preschool if you can get the "socialization" elsewhere....you can teach the children the academic stuff yourself and for stay-at-home parents preschool is just to make sure kids learn to "play nice", re-estimate your fed taxes.  This is easy to use.  I'd bet your taxes are under 10k.

https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/calculators/taxcaster/

Good luck!

Scandium

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #17 on: October 20, 2014, 10:54:19 AM »
mariejm. No life insurance for parent's of two kids?! That's crazy. So if one of the spouses die the other has to feed two kids (so get a job), pay daycare for both ($2K+/month) and put both through college (2x $100K?). The OP has assets, but enough to cover all this. And even if they did they would hose the retirement savings just raising the kids. Term life insurance is not expensive; keep it.

Your comments that daycare are a ripoff are also nonsense. Even at $1500/month it allow both my wife and I to continue working and make $80K+ each, plus all benefits. That's a great ROI. And our child is taught and socialized by professionals in a safe environment.

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2014, 02:51:53 PM »
mariejm. No life insurance for parent's of two kids?! Term life insurance is not expensive; keep it...

Your comments that daycare are a ripoff are also nonsense. Even at $1500/month it allow both my wife and I to continue working and make $80K+ each, plus all benefits. That's a great ROI. And our child is taught and socialized by professionals in a safe environment.
Scandium,your first comment is spot on. It is your last comment that I wish to address.

No child wants to be taught by "professionals" when a loving parent is an option. You cannot pay anyone to love your child more than you do and even if you could, why would you want that? Loving parent, great ROI, low-paid caregiver, not so much. Safe environment? Really? Safer than being at home/library/park/zoo with a loving parent?

Also, please consider what that $1500 really costs. To net that much, you have to earn quite a bit more. With two working parents there are many additional costs. Working wardrobe, second car, gas, insurance, more convenience foods purchased to make mealtime easier, more meals out because you're too tired to cook, work events/gifts, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child...

mm1970

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2014, 03:15:36 PM »
mariejm. No life insurance for parent's of two kids?! Term life insurance is not expensive; keep it...

Your comments that daycare are a ripoff are also nonsense. Even at $1500/month it allow both my wife and I to continue working and make $80K+ each, plus all benefits. That's a great ROI. And our child is taught and socialized by professionals in a safe environment.
Scandium,your first comment is spot on. It is your last comment that I wish to address.

No child wants to be taught by "professionals" when a loving parent is an option. You cannot pay anyone to love your child more than you do and even if you could, why would you want that? Loving parent, great ROI, low-paid caregiver, not so much. Safe environment? Really? Safer than being at home/library/park/zoo with a loving parent?

Also, please consider what that $1500 really costs. To net that much, you have to earn quite a bit more. With two working parents there are many additional costs. Working wardrobe, second car, gas, insurance, more convenience foods purchased to make mealtime easier, more meals out because you're too tired to cook, work events/gifts, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child...
Ouch.  I personally see $1500/month and think "ouch".

But I don't think that preschool is a ripoff in general.  Yes, with an interested, engaged parent at home, your child will be fine.

But just how interested and engaged in teaching will the parent be with a newborn, a toddler, etc.?  Some people do great at it. I have a friend who homeschools and has four kids, aged 8,5,2, and 6 months.  But I could never do it.  Even with two kids 6 years apart, it is a challenge for me to help the 8 year old with his homework while keeping the 2 year old out of trouble (spouse is traveling).  Imagine that all day long.

I know that when we were kids, we didn't have preschool and "were fine".  But honestly, I've spent some time in my kid's school.  Kindergarten is what first grade was for me.  It is glaringly obvious to kinder teachers which children had preschool and which did not. And most of the non-preschool children have still not caught up by the end of kinder either.

That said, full time childcare/ preschool is probably not necessary to get the basics.

Scandium

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #20 on: October 22, 2014, 06:54:04 AM »
mariejm. No life insurance for parent's of two kids?! Term life insurance is not expensive; keep it...

Your comments that daycare are a ripoff are also nonsense. Even at $1500/month it allow both my wife and I to continue working and make $80K+ each, plus all benefits. That's a great ROI. And our child is taught and socialized by professionals in a safe environment.
Scandium,your first comment is spot on. It is your last comment that I wish to address.

No child wants to be taught by "professionals" when a loving parent is an option. You cannot pay anyone to love your child more than you do and even if you could, why would you want that? Loving parent, great ROI, low-paid caregiver, not so much. Safe environment? Really? Safer than being at home/library/park/zoo with a loving parent?

Also, please consider what that $1500 really costs. To net that much, you have to earn quite a bit more. With two working parents there are many additional costs. Working wardrobe, second car, gas, insurance, more convenience foods purchased to make mealtime easier, more meals out because you're too tired to cook, work events/gifts, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child...
How do you know the patents will be "loving"? I've seen some crappy parents out there, including relatives of mine. In one case the nanny was more caring and patient with the kid than the parents! I was also surprised to learn that beating kids was somewhat common in the US relatively recently, while it's been illegal in parts of Europe for 40 years. How good is that parenting? Any two drunk idiots can make a baby, whether they want one or not. So I take issue with this assumption that chaining a woman (90% off the time it's the woman) to domestic servitude while the dad works 55 hr weeks to make up the income is automatically the best.

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #21 on: October 22, 2014, 12:40:01 PM »
mariejm. No life insurance for parent's of two kids?! Term life insurance is not expensive; keep it...

Your comments that daycare are a ripoff are also nonsense. Even at $1500/month it allow both my wife and I to continue working and make $80K+ each, plus all benefits. That's a great ROI. And our child is taught and socialized by professionals in a safe environment.
Scandium,your first comment is spot on. It is your last comment that I wish to address.

No child wants to be taught by "professionals" when a loving parent is an option. You cannot pay anyone to love your child more than you do and even if you could, why would you want that? Loving parent, great ROI, low-paid caregiver, not so much. Safe environment? Really? Safer than being at home/library/park/zoo with a loving parent?

Also, please consider what that $1500 really costs. To net that much, you have to earn quite a bit more. With two working parents there are many additional costs. Working wardrobe, second car, gas, insurance, more convenience foods purchased to make mealtime easier, more meals out because you're too tired to cook, work events/gifts, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child...
How do you know the patents will be "loving"? I've seen some crappy parents out there, including relatives of mine. In one case the nanny was more caring and patient with the kid than the parents! I was also surprised to learn that beating kids was somewhat common in the US relatively recently, while it's been illegal in parts of Europe for 40 years. How good is that parenting? Any two drunk idiots can make a baby, whether they want one or not. So I take issue with this assumption that chaining a woman (90% off the time it's the woman) to domestic servitude while the dad works 55 hr weeks to make up the income is automatically the best.
I don't know for sure, but I'm giving bothpaninis the benefit of the doubt. Same as I would do for you, Scandium. Personally, I don't think "beating kids" is more or less common, it's society that has changed. And no part of the OP's question made me suspect that she is part of a "two drunk idiots" team. You are making sweeping statements that simply don't seem to apply here. Since OP is female and works 32 hour weeks and DH is the one who will be at home, may I politely suggest you read the question thoroughly before you condemn?

Scandium

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #22 on: October 22, 2014, 12:45:37 PM »
mariejm. No life insurance for parent's of two kids?! Term life insurance is not expensive; keep it...

Your comments that daycare are a ripoff are also nonsense. Even at $1500/month it allow both my wife and I to continue working and make $80K+ each, plus all benefits. That's a great ROI. And our child is taught and socialized by professionals in a safe environment.
Scandium,your first comment is spot on. It is your last comment that I wish to address.

No child wants to be taught by "professionals" when a loving parent is an option. You cannot pay anyone to love your child more than you do and even if you could, why would you want that? Loving parent, great ROI, low-paid caregiver, not so much. Safe environment? Really? Safer than being at home/library/park/zoo with a loving parent?

Also, please consider what that $1500 really costs. To net that much, you have to earn quite a bit more. With two working parents there are many additional costs. Working wardrobe, second car, gas, insurance, more convenience foods purchased to make mealtime easier, more meals out because you're too tired to cook, work events/gifts, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child, less time with your precious child...
How do you know the patents will be "loving"? I've seen some crappy parents out there, including relatives of mine. In one case the nanny was more caring and patient with the kid than the parents! I was also surprised to learn that beating kids was somewhat common in the US relatively recently, while it's been illegal in parts of Europe for 40 years. How good is that parenting? Any two drunk idiots can make a baby, whether they want one or not. So I take issue with this assumption that chaining a woman (90% off the time it's the woman) to domestic servitude while the dad works 55 hr weeks to make up the income is automatically the best.
I don't know for sure, but I'm giving bothpaninis the benefit of the doubt. Same as I would do for you, Scandium. Personally, I don't think "beating kids" is more or less common, it's society that has changed. And no part of the OP's question made me suspect that she is part of a "two drunk idiots" team. You are making sweeping statements that simply don't seem to apply here. Since OP is female and works 32 hour weeks and DH is the one who will be at home, may I politely suggest you read the question thoroughly before you condemn?
I took exception to your sweeping statement that day care is always a ripoff, and the condemnation of anyone who uses it. And also the subtle suggestion that this is bad parenting.

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #23 on: October 23, 2014, 11:28:18 AM »
Dear Scandium,

...may I politely suggest you read the question thoroughly before you condemn?

Scandium

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #24 on: October 23, 2014, 11:58:06 AM »
Dear Scandium,

...may I politely suggest you read the question thoroughly before you condemn?
What are you taking about?
A) I wasn't addressing the question, I was addressing you.
B) I'm not condemning anything, you are. I think daycare is fine, while you said it's a ripoff. And also implied that people who use it are bad parents.

So; how about you don't condemn others at all?

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2014, 01:28:10 PM »
Hi Scandium, I have sent you a PM.

1967mama

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #26 on: October 24, 2014, 01:38:02 PM »
Soooo....

Back to bothpaninis original post, I was thinking that they might find it beneficial to do a one month breakout of groceries, restaurants and miscellaneous to see where they are overspending/where cuts can be made. I know there are several threads on the forum where folks have done that and I am considering doing it myself. I think it could be very enlightening! I especially have enjoyed the threads where folks have posted their breakouts and then the face punching begins <wink>.

frugal_c

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #27 on: October 27, 2014, 07:53:16 PM »
If your husband quits does he have the type of job where he will be able to re-enter the workworld in a few years?  Or is he planning to permanently retire?   That is the only risk (and it's small) that I see. 

Assuming your employment is safe then yes you can definitely do it.   You have considerable costs that you can cut back on if need be.  You will do fine. 

Let us know in a few years how it goes.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2014, 07:54:50 PM by frugal_canuck »

hodedofome

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #28 on: October 27, 2014, 08:24:22 PM »
You will not regret having one of the parents stay home with the kids. Trust me. 20 years down the road...0 regrets.

ltt

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #29 on: October 27, 2014, 08:27:25 PM »
I would say definitely doable--you will lose the expense of daycare at $1200 per month, you will lose your husband's commuting costs at $250 month, and my guess is that you can easily chop off some of the miscellaneous expenses and groceries.

bothpaninis

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #30 on: October 31, 2015, 06:47:50 PM »
Update from original poster!

I posted this back in August last year, got a few replies, then just forgot about it! I logged in tonight and was stunned to see that I received quite a few very thoughtful replies to my post. I feel so rude for not having responded last year.

Anyway, to update you, in case any of you happen to check back... it's been a great year! The baby is now one and my husband quit his job! I really love all the family time. I also have stayed part-time. I go back and forth on deciding whether to go back to full-time in order to save at a faster rate, but have decided that I love the three day weekends with my family too much.

We have also stepped up our savings tremendously. It has been a natural, kind of organic result of the fact that we have more time. More time to cook meals at home, mainly. Also, more time to shop for groceries in the off hours.

To touch on a few points that people mentioned:
-having two cars: I am hoping to drop the second car soon. My husband takes a long time to come around to an idea, but we are discussing it. I sometimes need the second car for work, so that's the main sticking point. 
-maxing out 401k. I am now maxing out my retirement.

... more to come...

Dicey

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #31 on: November 06, 2015, 12:11:47 PM »
Congratulations bothpaninis! I can't wait to hear more, especially  about the finances. Supporting a family on one sub-full time salary is quite a feat!

Funny, I sometimes forget about commenting on a particular thread. I just scanned though yours and saw the comments from Scandium. Never did get a response from my PM. Hope that's because clarity (as well as peace and harmony) have been achieved.

ditheca

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #32 on: November 06, 2015, 03:40:00 PM »
Thanks for the update!  Love to hear the success stories.  I don't think I could get approved for lowered hours at work myself... but a coworker in another department just pulled it off.

If my department grows, I could probably swing some work from home or reduced hours.

TomTX

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #33 on: November 08, 2015, 06:20:11 PM »

-having two cars: I am hoping to drop the second car soon. My husband takes a long time to come around to an idea, but we are discussing it. I sometimes need the second car for work, so that's the main sticking point. 

Uber, or traditional car rental place using discounts/coupons.

If "sometimes" is once a month, you should come out ahead. And work should be paying you mileage anyway.

Cornbread OMalley

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Re: Reader Case Study - Can my husband quit his job?
« Reply #34 on: November 08, 2015, 07:46:21 PM »
*life insurance is for people with no assets and dependents. you have enough assets to support your dependents in case of tragedy. the monthly payment is money down the drain.
This is not prudent advice.  Insurance is a vital pillar in the finance foundation.  Maintain your life insurance policies.  Otherwise you risk losing all your assets should an unfortunate tragedy occur.