Income:
Me (37)- 87k Gross, 18K annual to TSP
Husband (47)- 65k Gross, defined benefit retirement and 5k annual to 403(b)
Monthly net income- 6700
Current expenses: $5300
Mortgage- $2256
Principal and Interest - $1394
Property Tax - $486
Insurance - $65
PMI $311
Groceries- $500
Student loan- $330
Housekeeper- $260
Pharmacy- $230 (details below)
Commuting costs - $230
Utilities- $207
Restaurants- $260
Shopping- $165
Home Improvement and repair- $115
Alcohol and Bars - $100
Work related - $85
Internet- $80
Personal care- $105
Gifts and charity- $50
Cigarettes (DH)- $50
Movies and DVDs- $25
Cat- $20
Yoga- $20
Everything else including Cash and ATM- $200
2015 Hypothetical monthly surplus = $1400 (maps quite nicely to the cost of daycare for future kid)
Assets: $461,000
Checking monthly cash flow- $10,000
Betterment- $11,000
Rollover IRA- $41,000
TSP-36,000 (reflects loan out; see liabilities)
Lending Club- $3000
House: $360,000 value; ~$54000 equity
Liabilities: $347,000
Mortgage at 3.25%- $306,000
TSP loan at 2.25%- $25,000 (for adoption; $13K tax credit once adoption is finalized)
Student loan at 4.5%- $16,000
Im very new to this, so please tell me what I need to hear. Ive been reading MMM for over a year, but it is just now that Ive really decided that we need to go into austerity mode. We are preparing for the arrival of a baby this year. As a fed, I have no paid maternity leave. My goal is more financial freedom, a stache of money that means I dont have to worry a lot. I dont want to quit my job, which is my dream job in a dream field that I am paid embarrassing amounts of money to do. My husband claims he would love to retire tomorrow. He hates his coworkers and his dysfunctional university environment.
My mental block is that we have some ridiculous spending habits that I will never get my husband to eliminate. I need your help and advice on the things I can control and maybe a bit of reality about what I can achieve with the husband I have. His non-negotiables include that enormous $230 pharmacy expense. This is what he spends monthly on his organic outdoor grown medicine. He really does need it and I prefer it to the other prescriptions that he would have to take in its absence. But, it is HARD to see that number and not just want to throw up my hands and exclaim that we will never be able to have the kind of savings cushion that I want.
Also, we have had a housekeeper since six months into our marriage. His need for order conflicted with my complete disregard for it. When we bought our house, we did a trial run without a housekeeper and it did not work. That $260 is there unless he becomes a SAHD.
My dream would be for us to live on my income alone and have him quit his job and stay home to take care of our kid(s). I dont actually see this happening, however. Our current expenses are too high, even without the housekeeper and the medicine. Also, once he leaves the work force, it would be almost impossible for him to get back in if we needed him to. So, Im just left with a wishy-washy wish to save more money. That doesnt feel hardcore enough to me. What should I focus on? Student loan? TSP loan? Eliminating PMI? Six month expenses stache? I want to be optimistic, but I think Im using some of these larger budget numbers to convince myself there is nothing I can do.