I am wishing you well with everything; your health and wellness, your family, all of it. And just wanted to chime in on one of your comments regarding the size of your home; don't forget that a small space is not only cheaper, but much easier to clean and run. You'd think more space would help you organize but I swear the smaller home is a blessing in that department because it limits the amount of stuff you can buy and accumulate. When I go to houses with a bedroom and bath for each person I just picture myself SCRUBBING each tub and sink and I feel myself aging 40 years in a weekend.
Plus if you stay where you are, you don't have to move. (My God, the pearls of wisdom you find online, right?) I had to move three times when my children were in diapers and I aged a good 60 years over the course of ONE year.
Two good friends of mine had twins when I had my second baby and it's just a different ballgame with multiples... we all worked really hard that first year (and beyond!) but I had more downtime than they did and it made them lean as a family... I would be cooking an egg for the toddler, making some mess in the food mill for the baby and their babies were already fed and wiped and out of the high chairs. SO FUNNY. I was like, wait, how are you all making ME look like the amateur??
Anything you don't have to mess with, plan for, pack up, clean up, etc., WILL MAKE YOUR LIVES EASIER.
Having family in the city is huge and I am happy you all will have that. That is valuable in so many ways.
I have two children (singles) and have been raising them in a 900 square foot duplex, which I realize is big by NYC standards. We have a tiny front yard and are outdoors a lot, which helps, but it's not a big space HOWEVER... it works for us. We're in a great school system, we have a yard, we live in a really safe neighborhood.
The only way we're going to outgrow this space is... NO. IT IS NEVER HAPPENING. I just can't give up a good deal in order to store my clothes in a more fluffy manner. Yes my kids would love to have their own rooms but as a family, we're not going to maximize the elementary school years when we need to be looking at retirement and college funds.
YES, I wish I had a second bathroom so I could get dressed without having every square naked inch scrutinized by people who say things like, "your wrinkles are so pretty, they look like hair under your eyes." But my ego can take it! And you are no doubt a lot tougher than I am so when your children comment on your spots or chin wattle (I am not saying you have one OR the other!) or whatever else their sparkling eyes alight upon you can remind them that you have SERIOUS HEALTH CONCERNS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. DADDY IS A LIVING MIRACLE OF MIND AND BODY AND HERE YOU ARE NOTICING HIS NON-EXISTENT WATTLE? GROUNDED. BOTH OF YOU.
Good luck with everything... sounds like you are doing everything you need to be doing and thinking so wisely about big, big issues. Wishing you all the best.