Author Topic: rationalizing irrational beliefs ingrained by your parents...  (Read 3470 times)

swick

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Hi Everyone!

Today we will take possession of our first house and will be in debt for the first time in our lives.

With all the talk on the boards lately of the wisdom of paying down the mortgage as fast as possible vs. Investing it has highlighted that I have quite a few irrational feelings that are directly related to how I was raised and was wondering if anyone else has similar experiences or ideas on how to "get over it"

On the one hand my parents raised me very financially responsible - don't borrow anything you can't afford to replace if you break it, mortgages are the only acceptable source of debt, always look for ways to DIY or barter/trade for what you need, shop smart and invest in high quality that will last for years, get out of debt as soon as possible...all that good frugal advice.

Though not directly their fault, I also learned at an early age that money was a very scarce commodity (Over heard augments about money, my dad working 4 jobs and only having every third Sunday off) I'm shaking this belief, but sometimes I slip a bit:)

The flip side of this is my dad has always been very weary of investing and this has gotten much, much worse as he is becoming downright paranoid - NWO, Anunnaki, end of the world stuff. I never learned anything about investing other then being told at every turn it is a bad idea and I could "lose everything" I KNOW this is not rational but through the years the fear that our current financial system might not be very stable has sort of paralyzed me.

My parents (thanks to my Mom) have a little bit of money for retirement in very safe GIC's (Canadian) but definitely not enough to ever retire on. My dad works in a very physically demanding job with no retirement benefits, so I know I will be supporting them in some fashion in the future. There retirement plan is a plot of land they have which have a garden on and will eventually build a house.

Sorry for the long story...I am just wondering if anyone has any advice/suggested resources or similar stories to share. Despite how it sounds, I'm pretty rational about most things. - but having debt (even good debt that can be leveraged) scares the crap outta me. Rationalizations/face-punches welcome:)

Gerard

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Re: rationalizing irrational beliefs ingrained by your parents...
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2013, 03:07:27 PM »
I never learned anything about investing other then being told at every turn it is a bad idea and I could "lose everything" I KNOW this is not rational but through the years the fear that our current financial system might not be very stable has sort of paralyzed me.

Dave Chilton (Wealthy Barber) has a nice line about this somewhere. Something like "if the world goes so bad that all your investments become worthless, you're going to have bigger problems than your investments... like guys in your front yard with guns, eating your dog." Trumping the irrational single fear with an irrational bigger picture is a nice trick.

swick

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Re: rationalizing irrational beliefs ingrained by your parents...
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2013, 03:37:23 PM »
I never learned anything about investing other then being told at every turn it is a bad idea and I could "lose everything" I KNOW this is not rational but through the years the fear that our current financial system might not be very stable has sort of paralyzed me.

Dave Chilton (Wealthy Barber) has a nice line about this somewhere. Something like "if the world goes so bad that all your investments become worthless, you're going to have bigger problems than your investments... like guys in your front yard with guns, eating your dog." Trumping the irrational single fear with an irrational bigger picture is a nice trick.


Ahh there in lies part of my problem. That is how my dad feels so his investment is getting a gun licence, seed stocking, learning survival skills...he isn't at the build a bomb shelter stage yet...although that may be next. I am sure there is a middle ground :)

ncornilsen

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Re: rationalizing irrational beliefs ingrained by your parents...
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2013, 03:50:43 PM »
The middle ground is limiting your doomsday investment allocation to a few thousand. Luckily, the guns and ammunition are fun too, so that can come out of your play around money if you were so inclined!


CrochetStache

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Re: rationalizing irrational beliefs ingrained by your parents...
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2013, 04:03:05 PM »
Knowing that there is more than one way to reach your goal is the big first step.

Knowing which way to go from there can be tricky, but starting small and doing your research can alleviate many of your concerns. There are some people who never invest in the stock market but instead choose to fill their portfolio with real estate. Or build a business of their own. Or bury it in the backyard.

Choose the investing plan that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't need to pass your father's test as a good way to invest in the future. It simply needs to pass your test as the best way possible to invest in your future.

Each person makes their decisions based on the information they have at that time. Our parents made decisions that suited them for their moment in time, and I have noticed several articles state that we become more and more conservative as we age. Not sure if it's true or not but may explain a few things.

Do what's right for you and your comfort level.

CrochetStache


SunshineGirl

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Re: rationalizing irrational beliefs ingrained by your parents...
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2013, 04:06:27 PM »
Just saw the movie "After Earth" and this quote comes to mind: "Danger is real. Fear is a choice."

Your dad is living a life of fear. That's a small, scary place to be. You can see some of the same dangers as him, but even so, you can choose not to be afraid.