I'd like to know if anyone else struggles with extended family members who don't respect the financial priorities and life goals you've set for yourself and your own family.
****Rant****
My wife and I are mustachian with modest incomes and the rest of my family (parents, sister, aunt, uncle, cousins) are anti-mustashian and likely part of the top 1%. My aunt and uncle are especially wealthy. To put it in perspective, using the wealth they generated from their small livestock pharmaceutical empire, they bought a multi-million dollar Victorian mansion, put all five of their children through elite private colleges, purchased each child a house upon graduation, and "invested" in an insanely lavish timeshare in the Caribbean that caters to celebrities ( won't even go into detail about the cars, boats and other recreational vehicles at their disposal).
My parents are less wealthy and more conservative with their money but often give-in to the pressure of my extended family's conspicuous spending.
Since money is no object to them, my family rarely discusses money unless they want to brag about how much they've accumulated or how much their properties have appreciated. When my wife and I try to engage them in a conversation about saving money, it's like an abstract concept that they cannot readily comprehend.
Normally, I am not terribly bothered by their attitudes or extreme wealth; however, occasionally, I does impact me directly. The source of my frustration is often the annual family reunion that they plan without regard my financial constraints or values. Last summer they planned a trip to Las Vegas (The Wynn, executive suite, high-end dining, night club table service, etc.) and invited the rest of the family to join them. My parents, sister, brother-in-law and others went along with the idea without a question. My wife and I immediately refused because, in spite of their assurances that they "will cover everything", what they don't seem to understand is that we will still need to pay for plane tickets, a hotel room, overpriced food, etc.
More obnoxiously, for some reunions, they actually promise to cover absolutely everything except the plane ticket (which I believe to be very generous and understanding of them) but when it's time to check out of the hotel or pay the dinner bill, there is a eerie and silent expectation that I will pay the bill anyway. Basically, I have to remind them of their promise and ask them to pay, after which they give me an assuring look and say "Ah, okay, I see. Don't worry, I've got this covered". It's humiliating and I'm starting to believe it's intentional.
....Anyway, my aunt and uncle have invited everyone to stay at their timeshare resort for a week this summer. Again, they say they will cover our expenses but, if this trip is anything like the last, I will be silently forced into paying for the $800 plane tickets; the $100 boat charter to/from the island; the $80-per-night turn-down/cleaning service (not included in the hotel rate that my aunt/uncle will pay for); exorbitantly priced meals at the resort (from which there is no escape)...the list goes on. Granted, paying a total of $1500 for a one-week vacation isn't terrible but spending a week with my family is far from relaxing when I have to put up with insufferable snobbery and pay-to-play scenarios at every turn.
I've communicated my concerns, my limitations and my values to my family every time I turn down their offers to "join the fun". I've told them that high-end resorts/hotels/restaurants are not my scene. I've even suggested other (less expensive) ways for us to all be together. By now, they should know how my wife and I feel about their reunion planning. Their initial response is, "Oh come on! You can afford it. The whole family is going to be there, you have to come!" When I repeat myself, I get "Well, that's too bad. We'll see you next time!"
***Rant over****
Does anyone else deal with this shit? Can I just assume my family isn't going to make an effort at understanding where I'm coming from?