A dear relative of mine died a year ago, and I've learned that settling up an estate is no picnic. The relative in question was one of those people who expects to live forever and had left no instructions of any type. It got us to thinking:
Our children are no longer children, and we've started working on putting together a notebook /instructions on handling our estate upon our deaths. I'll emphasize that we're still relatively young and in good health, but we figured it'd be easier to start this NOW while neither of us is sick and it's all hypothetical. We're trying to do this project RIGHT at this point, and in the future it'll just require a once-a-year review, which we plan to do at tax time. We're writing the notebook NOW with the idea that we'd die at the same time, leaving two young adults who have little knowlege of handling estates -- as time goes on, as grandchildren appear, as our circumstances change, we will update the book.
Any ideas on what we ought to include?
We've started the notebook with a short-and-sweet personal letter.
The letter instructs them to be generous and understanding with one another, but to remain wary of strangers (even professionals) and tells them not to allow anyone else to have unlimited access to the notebook -- it would make an identity thief's day, and we have enough to be worth robbing!
Next we have a list of things our adult children should do IMMEDIATELY: Name/address of the funeral home our family always uses ... instructions on a small, frugal funeral ... discussion of need for multiple death certificates ... information on bank accounts, where they are listed as co-beneficiaries and where they can get
immediate money to pay our bills ... and the name/address of our lawyer along with instructions on how to file probate with him. Finally, instructions on securing our keys, our cars, our house, and a list of people to call.
Next a list of things they should do within a reasonable amount of time: Our real estate, investments, insurance, etc. This includes account numbers and contact information. This includes instructions on cancelling our drivers' licenses, passports, cell phones, services, doctor appointments. It includes a list of people with whom we do business /bills they will need to pay in our name (so they'll know to pay the lawn guy, but they'll also know to ignore strangers who may claim we owed them).
The next section includes things they should do /decisions they must make ... but things they can put off a bit. This includes a discussion on whether they should sell the house, cars. It includes the name/contact info for a handyman who's done work for us around the house. It includes the name/contact of a family friend who sells real estate. It includes specific things we want them each to have (i.e., wedding china, guns, jewelry, small sentimental items). Finally, this section gives them permission to guilt-free throw away household goods, even things of value, that they simply don't want.
The next section includes a paper copy of our will (and info on who filed the will, where official copies are filed), copies of our birth certificates (and the children's birth certificates, so they can prove their relationship to us), and our marriage certificate. In the future, if one of us dies earlier than the other, a death certificate will be added. All certified copies. Oh, and this section includes copies of deeds and print-outs of our real estate, which show property lines. It specifies which county courthouse houses the official copies of these deeds.
Since they'll have to complete our final taxes, we're leaving them the name/address of a CPA to whom I once went for some advice. Final taxes aren't the kind of thing to manage on your own. We are including a copy of our last two years' tax returns /we'll switch this out each year.
Finally, the notebook ends with a letter advising them how to manage their money. We give specific, frugal thoughts and encouragements, and we encourage them to make NO major decisions within the next six months -- I believe it specifies, no buying a Mustang, no quitting your job/starting a new business, and a couple other things. It's just a warning against rash behavior. We've told them that they are both to complete their college educations with money from the estate (and since the oldest is 3/4 of the way finished, the youngest
may get more college money), and then everything's to be split 50-50. They are best friends and unlikely to do each other wrong.
And in a pocket at the end of the notebook is a flashdrive containing ALL the above, including the certificates, in digital form. It also includes my grandmother's will because a piece of land came to me through her will, and it includes our parents' wills (though we each have a parent still living).
The flashdrive also contains digital photographs that could be used for an obituary or online memorial, and it contains music that could be used at a family dinner (all my husband's favorite songs).
The notebook is stored in a fireproof, waterproof safe. They know that the notebook exists, and they know how to access the safe.
What else could I include to make their lives easier at what will be a tough time for them? Thanks for your thoughts.