Author Topic: Pre-paying for the inevitable  (Read 1129 times)

Ccw158

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Pre-paying for the inevitable
« on: December 23, 2016, 09:23:03 AM »
Hi - new here and trying to get some schools of thought on any pre-planning for death.  Has anyone pre-purchased burial plots?  I try to make the best financial decisions with our money and this one has me a little stuck on what's the best way to go.  Its 100% that my spouse and I are going to die (and we prefer a cemetery burial) so Im thinking we should spend the money on the plots now because we can shop around and haggle (is that totally awful to haggle for burial plots ??).  I just feel like when you lose a loved one and have to make arrangements you aren't thinking clearly and your probably not presented with the cheapest options.  I'm not sure what the projected inflation is vs money I'd make investing it instead so its hard to do the math. 

Would love to hear any thoughts/opinions on the topic!! 

Mr. Green

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Re: Pre-paying for the inevitable
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2016, 10:14:04 AM »
Do you have family where you want to be in the same graveyard or anything like that? My grandparents all had plots before they started dying. My great-grandparents on one side bought 5. They are in two. My grandparents are together in one (cremation) so there are still 2 plots open for someone in the family if they want them. I know other family members have similar situations (still open plots handed down from previous generations). My grandparents have even had their headstone set. Been there for a few years now. My maternal grandfather is still alive and my maternal grandmother just died this past January but prior to that you could go to the graveyard and see their headstone with names and birth dates, just no death dates. I think that if given the opportunity, having that stuff prepared in advance is a great kindness to your surviving family. No one wants to make those kinds of decisions during a time of grief. If you know for certain you want to be buried and perhaps are partial to a place, why not go ahead and buy them? Are they expensive?

Edit: syntax error

lizzzi

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Re: Pre-paying for the inevitable
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2016, 02:17:10 PM »
I'm not sure you have to go out and buy burial plots if you are relatively young...you never know what life might bring in terms of divorce, re-marriage, moving to the other end of the country...or another country...there are so many variables. Maybe you'll want to be cremated, and just need a small niche for your urn, instead of wanting a whole plot.I think as you start to get older it might be a good idea to finalize your thoughts and put a plan in place.   I married my second husband when I was 46, and we bought two beautiful places in the outside wall of a mausoleum overlooking a river--gorgeous. And much cheaper at that time than now, of course. It was a relief when he died to know that we had that beautiful final resting place that we had picked out and paid for. It was certainly one less thing to worry about during an incredibly stressful and difficult time.

The one thing I think you should absolutely do early is discuss with your spouse what you want in terms of your final arrangements: cremation or burial, big funeral, small funeral, any special requests for funeral, green burial...whatever. I'll never forget that when a friend's adult son committed suicide, my friend started pulling together a conventional funeral with a casket, burial, etc. Then the son's friends told him that the son had not wanted that--that he had said he wanted cremation with ashes scattered...needless to say, my friend brought his preparations to a screeching halt and put his son's wishes in place. Good thing he found out in time.

BlueHouse

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Re: Pre-paying for the inevitable
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2016, 07:26:13 PM »
My mom bought 5 plots together when my father died.  Then she was remarried.  Then she was divorced.  Then my brother died and we were glad to not have to think about logistics of burial.  Then we all moved and she has tremendous guilt about no one ever going to visit the family plot.  I can't stand hearing about it.  It's so bad that no one will ever talk about Dad or Brother in front of her because we know the next thing is going to be "sigh, no one has visited Dad's or Brother's grave in years".  I'm pretty sure she doesn't know that her words are causing even more silence and avoidance.
Anyway, it's good to have if someone dies unexpectedly, but so much can change between now and when you die.