I'm an L&D nurse, and while I haven't given birth (adopted my kiddo) I have been present at literally thousands of births. I think prenatal classes are a good idea, and love doulas. I also agree 100% that some people do think of births like weddings. And it's bizarre, and setting yourself up to become a bridezilla. I love hypnobirthing. Of the methods I have seen, it seems the most useful. The feminist in me wants to gag when I see the Bradley method. Father directed childbirth? I am supposed to ask the dad if The mom wants pain meds? And ignore her when she is screaming, asking for them? I always tell my natural patients, I will ignore you if you ask for pain meds in the middle of a contraction, but if you ask again, when you are not having a contraction I will pay attention. I am supposed to talk to the Dad not the Mom? Are you fucking kidding me? Wrong century, wrong continent. I have had a Dad pull out his Bradley book to "look for other options" when told we needed to do an emergency c-section.
Birth is super political. And I am a very crunchy granola girl. It just makes me crazy when people come to the hospital and want a home birth. I think home births are great. Probably would choose that myself. But if you decide to have a hospital birth, people need to realize the hospital has taken the legal responsibility of guaranteeing your safety. That means we have to monitor according to certain established guidelines, and we have ways of doing things, often for a very good reason. I think it is very reasonable to talk to your MD or CNM ahead of time, ask them their c/s and episiotomy statistics, etc, but it's too late during labor.
And birth plans... They make sense to me, but everyplace I have worked we all give report with the same comment, "she has a birth plan. Better pull the c-section paperwork." I don't know why, haven't seen any studies, but anecdotally the fastest way to an emergency is being too focused on how everything has to work. Everyone's goal has got to be "healthy baby, healthy mom."
Sorry, guess I should have started my own thread to rant with. Oh, one more thing, if anyone walks out of the hospital with a healthy baby, and no complications and your first comment is to complain you had to get stuck 3 times for the IV, well you are an ungrateful idiot.
Edited to add: ungrateful to God/life/nature/whatever. And yes, I have seen this multiple times.