Author Topic: Dec 2015: 57 y/o need input on plans (long) UPDATES: AUG '18/NOV '18/MAY'19  (Read 12043 times)

arebelspy

  • Administrator
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *****
  • Posts: 28261
  • Age: -998
  • Location: Seattle, WA
Wow, that is a lot of difficult things.

I hope you are holding up okay, with having to support everyone around you like that.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

GreenToTheCore

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 326
You're doing a fantastic job. I second ARS.
*internet hug*

sonya

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 24
Thank you, I just take a deep breath and do what needs to be done. I'll get there eventually.

I don't really have much family, but I do have very good friends who hear me out and support me all the way, even when they disagree. And that's a good friend.

sonya

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 24
Time for an update: I sat everyone down a few weeks ago and had a serious talk. I told them I'm broke supporting two households, and we need to sell the house, husband can go live with his brother (see above why this is such a good idea), and son can live with me and his sister in apartment.

Kids were completely supportive, husband not so much. I understand, he has been blindsided, and it's his life that will be affected the most. He did come around, though, about selling, apologizing for being unsupportive initially. He has been cleaning up/touching up and working on the yard, etc, doing what he can. I am working on my husband to agree for me to make a phone call to ask family for help, and let him live with his brother and his wife. I don't mind making this very difficult phone call, because I have to take charge before the bottom drops out. There's no room for argument here, it needs to be done.

The problem here is the house still has the original 25 yr old nonleaky roof, and it needs foundation work in the front. Banks won't make a loan because of these problems, even though our home is lovely (needs paint/carpet/new countertops, that's about it for cosmetics). Our listing agent, who is a trusted friend doing this for half the usual commission, found a roofer and foundation company who will do the work now and be paid at closing, but my husband, being in construction, is too paranoid about predicted costs (about 23k for roof/foundation) going higher because of unforeseen problems. The investors she found mostly were not interested because of the roof/foundation work, although one low-balled us by about 80k. This leaves us back to finding investors who would be ok with the extra work (because I'm not up to fighting about it or forcing the issue). We will be competitive, especially because the house needs a roof and foundation work. But because this is our retirement money, we can only go so low. I know investors are looking for great deals, and there is *some* money to be made here, but I guess it just depends on the investor. Sorry, I really don't know how it all works.

If anyone has any input on what we need to do to get exposure to investors, or any other suggestions, I'd much appreciate it.

Otherwise, we're done with the horrid state testing at school, and now it's field trips and fun for the kids until June. My Special Ed dept will be doing lots of end of year paperwork to get ready for next year. We're losing our other sped teacher, who won't put up with the shenanigans from administration, although I warn her there's going to be b.s. wherever she goes and she won't have ME to work with. She says she knows, but she can't abide by what our upper level folks do here. Daughter has a new boyfriend (polite, respectful, cute, generous, etc!) and a GREAT summer job, and son has gotten interested in camping of all things. Luckily his best friend was an eagle scout and his parents have every piece of equipment you could possibly need in their garage.

I'm going to crosspost this in the real estate part of the forum, hope that's ok.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2019, 08:15:52 PM by sonya »

arebelspy

  • Administrator
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *****
  • Posts: 28261
  • Age: -998
  • Location: Seattle, WA
Something's gotta give: you repair it, or take what price you can get as-is.

We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7112
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
I just stumbled upon this thread. What a read! My heart goes out to you and your kjds, OP. It sounds like all of you have experienced much more stress and challenge and setbacks than any person deserves. My heart especially goes out to your son. I hope he is finding the support to heal.

What struck me in the first posts is that you seemed completely depressed and overwhelmed yourself. I agree with where you have arrived: it is just too much for you and you have to unload some of these burdens to be able to take care of yourself first and foremost. Do what it takes to dump the house. You need to get the divorce paperwork rolling ASAP. Your husbandís situation is certainly regrettable, but he has family and SS and will get proceeds from the house as well. You just donít have the bandwidth for that in addition to everything else going on.

Good luck. I will be cet interested to know how you do. Take care.