Potential employers ghosting after in-person interview

[Lanthiriel]

Do any of you have experience with employers ghosting on you after an in-person interview? How do you deal with this? Some recent examples:

• Two years ago, my husband had an office tour/interview with a local firm. He meet with four people and they even take him out to lunch. He waited a week, then called the team leader that he met with. No answer. A couple of days later he calls the HR person he set up the interview with. No answer. A week later he sends a follow up email to both parties. They never responded to him in any way.
• My sister just recently moved from City A to City C with a stop in City B for a job interview. She really liked City B and the company, but proceeded on to some interviews in City C. She's not fully committed to this move and is couch surfing while she makes up her mind. The job in City B calls her, says she's overqualified for the job she interviewed for, but they "want to find her something." She interprets this as them finding her a job, so she waits a week for an offer. In the meantime she gets an offer for a job not related to her field in City C. She attempts to follow up via phone and email with the job in City B for a week, and no one will return her call. It's now been two weeks, and she figures a job at a brewery in City C is better than no job at all.
• My husband who was recently laid off has been scattering job applications all over the US. He gets a hit for a job in a different city. They set up a Skype session and have about an hour-long interview. Husband waits over the long weekend to give them some time to get back to him, and sends an email on Tuesday with a follow up call on Wednesday (a full week after the interview). Crickets.

Is this a thing now? I've done a fair amount of hiring in my time and while I've ignored resume submissions, I have NEVER not followed up with someone I either spoke with on the phone or met with in person. This seems like extremely bad etiquette.

[mskyle]

This is definitely a thing that happens! But I feel like the first example you give is the only one where it's definitely happened yet.

When your sister followed up with the City B job people, did she say, "I really like you guys but just FYI I'm planning on taking this other job unless you have something concrete to offer me" or was it more of a general sort of inquiry? "Finding her something" (i.e. creating a position that does not currently exist) is unlikely to happen in a week or two.

With your husband, it's only been a week (a week including a long weekend). Anything could happen. I think calling on Wednesday after emailing on Tuesday was excessive.

[zephyr911]

It's not okay, but it seems to have become more common along with many other worsening aspects of the employer-employee dynamic. When people talk about higher unemployment being masked by non-participation, I'm inclined to agree, but I think most of those people miss out on the bigger issue - the business world has maneuvered employees into a position of weakness whence there is permanently higher competition for each job, less leverage for employees to demand better terms of employment, and less incentive for the corp. to show courtesy toward actual employees, let alone seekers.

[purple monkey]

Yes, it seems it is a power trip and very rude.

It has happened a couple of times and both times, everyone I interviewed with assured me that they would let me know either way.

But that is maybe I am old fashioned, but with technology, and it taking on a few seconds, it is unfortunate that the  hiring folks have so little manners.

[mozar]

It is extremely bad etiquette and just the way it is now. Maybe others will disagree, but I never follow up after an interview. I assume that I'm never going to hear from anyone again, and if I do, bonus! I have theories about why this is, but it has to with the intersection of patriarchy and capitalism, but that's not your question. My answers to your questions: it happens to me all the time, I keep interviewing until I actually have the job and my butt in that seat.

[frugaliknowit]

To answer your question:  Yes

and I am "over it".

Similar questions:

1.  Why do people hog the left lane?
2.  Why do people text and drive?
3.  Why do people let their kids put their feet on bus/train seats and not use "indoor volume" in public places?
4.  Why do people drink and drive?
Etc,. etc.

Because people can be aholes, so we just have to get over it.

[plog]

Yes, it seems it is a power trip and very rude.

I think its the exact opposite--its this pussy, litigiousphobic society we've created:

 Don't do this or you could get sued, don't do that or you could be fired, don't be a human or treat others like humans or you will 100% be involved in a lawsuit...after you get laid off.

 And HR is on the forefront of pussy and litigiousphobia. If they never say anything to you, then you can never use it against them in that bazillion dollar lawsuit they just know you are going to file against them. 

[G-dog]

My former company did this, though it did vary by hiring manager. When I started in 1995 they would get hundreds of highly qualified applicants for highly skilled jobs. Fast forward to 2015, and they are getting hundreds of completely unqualified applicants for about every job posting. Along with a few crazy ranting cover letters, but I digress. I had been attributing the lack of response to an attitude of having been THE EMPLOYER OF CHOICE, and nit realizing how far their reputation has fallen.
I applied for opt her jobs within the company, in the beginning I would get a call if I was interviewed but not hired, at the end I did not get any contact. And I was an internal candidate! Imagine how strangers were treated!

[shotgunwilly]

Yes, it seems it is a power trip and very rude.

I think its the exact opposite--its this pussy, litigiousphobic society we've created:

 Don't do this or you could get sued, don't do that or you could be fired, don't be a human or treat others like humans or you will 100% be involved in a lawsuit...after you get laid off.

 And HR is on the forefront of pussy and litigiousphobia. If they never say anything to you, then you can never use it against them in that bazillion dollar lawsuit they just know you are going to file against them.

I'm pretty sure it's this.  They're covering their ass for something that they shouldn't ever have to.

[BFGirl]

I guess I was fortunate recently.  I applied for a job outside of my department and they decided to hire someone within the department.  They let me know by email, which I thought was very nice.

[jeromedawg]

This has happened to me probably more than I can count. The worst was when a potential employer/manager led me on, and even seemingly *begged* for me to join his team, stating that a lot of my friends were there (I used to work for the company prior to when they were bought out by a bigger corp, so I knew a lot of people there). I had multiple phone interviews with the guy and even went in for an in-person interview, but then he just dropped all communication thereafter with no follow-up. I had to find out they went with someone else from one of my friends who works there - I was so pissed about that.
Ironically, I ended up getting hired on to work there under my old boss/friend and had many interactions with the lousy manager and his team. I soon found out how terrible of a manager he was/is - he was let go even before massive layoffs occurred at that place too. It was sort of a relief once he was out because he was the type who liked to blow a lot of steam and not actually have anything to show for it (and this is what led to him getting let go, I'm sure). Even when we were having discussions in the same room, he always tried to make things difficult and either I or others would get into quibbles with the guy... he was just difficult to work with.
In retrospect, I'm glad things didn't work where I would have been hired onto his team - I'm pretty sure I would be miserable if I were working for him. In any case, if they aren't cordial enough to get back to you, it goes to show they probably aren't someone you would have wanted to work with. Sure, some places may be busy but in my experience even if you initiate the follow-up, they will usually make time to get back to you - and if they do, that just shows they are a place that you would enjoy working at.

[Lanthiriel]

With your husband, it's only been a week (a week including a long weekend). Anything could happen. I think calling on Wednesday after emailing on Tuesday was excessive.

I wondered about this. He followed up originally via email, but since he's using a gmail account, he was worried that the email went to spam, or otherwise potentially went unopened. Phone calls always seem more prudent. He definitely will not be following up further.

Because people can be aholes, so we just have to get over it.

Good attitude and probably accurate. It just really bugs me how companies do the "I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it" act. Companies are made up of people. Is it that hard to put yourself in someone's shoes and behave with common decency? Apparently.

[merula]

+1 for the Danny Devito Matilda quote.

[VaCPA]

It happened to me one time. I had phone interview with HR and then in-person with the hiring manager. He said they were going to bring a couple people back for a final round of interviews and he wouldn't keep me waiting too long to hear back. Didn't hear back. I eventually followed up with the HR person and got no response and then followed up with him and got no response. Irritated the crap out of me. As a hiring manager myself I make it a point to close the loop with anyone I actually interview, whether phone or in-person. Even if it slipped through the cracks due to high volume there's no excuse for not responding if an interviewee follows up about it. Just awful manners but unfortunately it happens way more than it should.

[jeromedawg]

It happened to me one time. I had phone interview with HR and then in-person with the hiring manager. He said they were going to bring a couple people back for a final round of interviews and he wouldn't keep me waiting too long to hear back. Didn't hear back. I eventually followed up with the HR person and got no response and then followed up with him and got no response. Irritated the crap out of me. As a hiring manager myself I make it a point to close the loop with anyone I actually interview, whether phone or in-person. Even if it slipped through the cracks due to high volume there's no excuse for not responding if an interviewee follows up about it. Just awful manners but unfortunately it happens way more than it should.

And that's the thing, it takes maybe a few minutes at most to reply to someone and at least say "Sorry for the delay, we ended up proceeding with hiring another candidate. Thank you for your time" - I don't understand why someone can't type less than a couple hundred characters out. That didn't even take me more than a minute to write either. It's incredibly rude and distasteful, and would make me think twice about ever applying to that company again.

[Lanthiriel]

It happened to me one time. I had phone interview with HR and then in-person with the hiring manager. He said they were going to bring a couple people back for a final round of interviews and he wouldn't keep me waiting too long to hear back. Didn't hear back. I eventually followed up with the HR person and got no response and then followed up with him and got no response. Irritated the crap out of me. As a hiring manager myself I make it a point to close the loop with anyone I actually interview, whether phone or in-person. Even if it slipped through the cracks due to high volume there's no excuse for not responding if an interviewee follows up about it. Just awful manners but unfortunately it happens way more than it should.

And that's the thing, it takes maybe a few minutes at most to reply to someone and at least say "Sorry for the delay, we ended up proceeding with hiring another candidate. Thank you for your time" - I don't understand why someone can't type less than a couple hundred characters out. That didn't even take me more than a minute to write either. It's incredibly rude and distasteful, and would make me think twice about ever applying to that company again.

THIS!

And the terrible, vindictive person I am wants to run around town and broadcast how terrible these people are. But the industry is small and our town is smaller, so instead I keep my mouth shut and only bring it up if I know someone who is applying there. If you're gonna be a jerk to me, I'm going to make sure you don't get good candidates. TAKE THAT (she squeaks ineffectually).

[jeromedawg]

It happened to me one time. I had phone interview with HR and then in-person with the hiring manager. He said they were going to bring a couple people back for a final round of interviews and he wouldn't keep me waiting too long to hear back. Didn't hear back. I eventually followed up with the HR person and got no response and then followed up with him and got no response. Irritated the crap out of me. As a hiring manager myself I make it a point to close the loop with anyone I actually interview, whether phone or in-person. Even if it slipped through the cracks due to high volume there's no excuse for not responding if an interviewee follows up about it. Just awful manners but unfortunately it happens way more than it should.

And that's the thing, it takes maybe a few minutes at most to reply to someone and at least say "Sorry for the delay, we ended up proceeding with hiring another candidate. Thank you for your time" - I don't understand why someone can't type less than a couple hundred characters out. That didn't even take me more than a minute to write either. It's incredibly rude and distasteful, and would make me think twice about ever applying to that company again.

THIS!

And the terrible, vindictive person I am wants to run around town and broadcast how terrible these people are. But the industry is small and our town is smaller, so instead I keep my mouth shut and only bring it up if I know someone who is applying there. If you're gonna be a jerk to me, I'm going to make sure you don't get good candidates. TAKE THAT (she squeaks ineffectually).

This is how I feel about something my prior company (same one I actually describe in my initial post) did to me (made me pay them back for tuition assistance after them giving me notice of advance termination and me subsequently quitting). Super petty of them considering the circumstances they put me in, and I wouldn't blink an eye recommending that anyone who asks about jobs there stay away from them.

[KMB]

About 3 years ago I was ghosted after 2 in person interviews including a salary negotiation. I'm still pissed. Not a big deal that I didn't get the job, but not returning my calls or emails was bogus. I work in the same industry and occasionally cross paths with the guy responsible. If I get the chance to retaliate I'm not going to hesitate, lawfully of course.  :)

[VaCPA]

About 3 years ago I was ghosted after 2 in person interviews including a salary negotiation. I'm still pissed. Not a big deal that I didn't get the job, but not returning my calls or emails was bogus. I work in the same industry and occasionally cross paths with the guy responsible. If I get the chance to retaliate I'm not going to hesitate, lawfully of course.  :)

Have you ever asked him why they blew you off? Could be entertaining to see what kind of excuse he comes up with.

[KMB]

I haven't yet seen him face to face. We sell similar equipment and sometimes bid on the same projects.

[jeromedawg]

About 3 years ago I was ghosted after 2 in person interviews including a salary negotiation. I'm still pissed. Not a big deal that I didn't get the job, but not returning my calls or emails was bogus. I work in the same industry and occasionally cross paths with the guy responsible. If I get the chance to retaliate I'm not going to hesitate, lawfully of course.  :)

That's super irritating. I wouldn't give him the time of day. And if he finds himself in a situation where he's in need of a "favor" you can kindly remind him about the time he shunned you.

[Lanthiriel]

About 3 years ago I was ghosted after 2 in person interviews including a salary negotiation. I'm still pissed. Not a big deal that I didn't get the job, but not returning my calls or emails was bogus. I work in the same industry and occasionally cross paths with the guy responsible. If I get the chance to retaliate I'm not going to hesitate, lawfully of course.  :)

Wow. I'm with jplee... I hope you get to pay him back for that one someday.

Back was I was a dumb(er), young(er) kid, I told me current employer about a job after I went to the second interview. I then had a three week wait until I actually got the offer and quit. I'm SO LUCKY that I worked for a nice guy who didn't terminate me and that I eventually got the offer. That experience definitely taught me the art of keeping my mouth shut to my current employer.

[Bajadoc]

It means they don't want you. Move on, you are better than them.