Thanks for the shout-out, Nords.
You have a great blog, Jed, and I enjoy reading it!
I've sent you a PM.
I haven't seen anyone else ask what the kids think. I'd think that would be at least one relevant factor here, possibly a very important one.
I think it depends on how parents sell the plan, but kids don't merit a veto on this type of proposal until they're at least a high-school junior. And even then I'd hesitate to let them exercise their teen judgment on the family decision.
Thousands of kids transfer overseas with U.S. military families every year. It works out fine, or the problems that crop up are mostly the problems that they'd have anywhere in the U.S. They have some very legitimate fears like understanding the language or reading the signs for the public bathroom, but their attitude toward those challenges depends on the parents.
During one of my visits to Japan, I talked with a U.S. Navy officer who'd managed to stitch together 17 consecutive years in Yokosuka. (He paid his dues in some pretty crappy assignments there, but by the 10-year point he was so fluent and so popular with the JMSDF that BUPERS left him there to pretty much do as he pleased.) He was retiring and returning to the U.S. with his spouse, but their sons had totally acclimated to the country. One was attending university in Tokyo and the other was working in a multinational corporation in another Japan city, and it was pretty clear that they intended to make their lives in Japan for a few more years.
Here's another sea story on how the parent's attitude will affect a kid's morale. When I was stationed at a training command in San Diego, we got orders on a new E-8 instructor who'd been in Japan for several tours. He'd even met his spouse over there and they were raising a family in town. We we shorthanded so we were really happy to have him, and we were even more excited to have a guy with tip-of-the-spear experience who'd be able to help our students get ready for their WestPac deployments.
When he reported aboard, we learned that his transfer to San Diego was not his idea. (He'd annoyed the community manager for his specialty.) With typical senior enlisted directness, his first words to me were "Sir, I'm Senior Chief H, your new instructor, and I'd like you to send me back to Yokosuka." He was no fan of San Diego, and his kids had learned from Japanese media that America was a running gun battle among street gangs. (OK, maybe in National City, but still.) There had been a serious family discussion about him doing an unaccompanied tour to America while they stayed in Japan, but they didn't want to deal with the separation (and plane tickets). It took them quite a few months to settle in, and as soon as he could he took orders back to Japan. I don't know if he's ever comin' back.