Author Topic: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom  (Read 3697 times)

frugaliknowit

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The context of this is I live in a 600SF one-bedroom condo and my niece (~28 years old and never had a job) and her BF (and possibly her kid from a previous BF) who live 750 miles away want to visit. Also, while I am technically her "Godfather", we are NOT close and I am an agnostic who reluctantly accepted the godfather position some 28 years ago.  My guess is her BF wants to "get in good" with the relatives so he can "pop the question"...

If the kid comes, there's no way we are all camping out in my 1 BR.

Of those of you who live in a similar space, do you just camp out with air mattresses and sleeping bags?  Do you tell your kin "sorry not enough room, you'll have to get a hotel/AirBnb....(and pay for it yourself)" or do you provide (pay for) an AirBnb close by (kind of a compensation for the fact that you choose to live in a mustachian space)?

Thanks for your thoughts!

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2017, 06:36:27 AM »
I think 3 nights is the max anyone should ever host for free unless they are your parents or your kids. Set it up early, say, you can use the living room for 3 nights, after that use Airbnb. If they disrespect anything, never let them come back. Itís fine to be the cool ďUncleĒ, just donít let them take advantage.

lizzzi

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2017, 07:04:16 AM »
If you are not close, I don't understand why they want to come and see you in the first place. And if they do, they should arrange for their own accommodations somewhere. You can have them to your apartment for some socialization--have some snacks--but take them out to dinner and you pay for it. Maybe take them around to see whatever the tourist attractions are near you. I certainly would not expect to have these people more or less camping out in the apartment.

FWIW, I have a similar sized one-bedroom apartment. Nobody stays here with me. When daughter and grandchildren visit, I put them up in the nearby Best Western, the one with a good, free breakfast and a pool. But I wouldn't do it for anybody else.

slappy

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2017, 07:30:55 AM »
Did she ask to stay with you? That seems presumptuous on her part.  Is she really coming to visit you or is there some other reason for her to visit the visit the area and she just wants free lodging? My brother in law used to "visit" his grandmother when there was a car show in her area. He basically just slept there and spent all his time at the car show.

Noodle

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2017, 07:47:07 AM »
I have a similar space. The only people who stay with me are under-18 nieces who are happy to sleep on a twin air mattress (one-night limit), and my very best friend. If she brought her husband, they would be getting a hotel room/AirBnB. If I were in your shoes, I would definitely require your visitors to find their own lodging--you can treat them to as much food and/or entertainment as you feel appropriate to your relationship. (If it were someone very close to me, like my parents, and I knew paying for lodging was cost-prohibitive, I would treat them to a room also. But not in the circumstances you describe.)

galliver

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2017, 07:48:20 AM »
We've had 2 people stay somewhat regularly, 3 in a few occasions, and we've anticipated up to 4. We're in a 1BR, though nominally somewhat larger than yours. We are also close to your niece's age, and like being able to have people stay, so our LR couch is a futon. Third person (or if 2 don't want to share) has generally been offered camping gear and floor space. We recently got a free airbed from a friend but haven't used it at home.

The key, though, is that we generally like having people stay. It tires me (introvert) out eventually, so we can't/wouldn't do it all the time, but it's something we're happy to do for family and friends who make the effort to visit, if they are satisfied with the level of accommodations. Bf's parents &sis didn't take us up on it and stayed down the street...We aren't certain if religious beliefs (re: cohabitation), desire for comfort, or not wanting to impose was the dominant reason.

I think any of the options you listed sound fine, but asking a relative to pay their own accommodation while visiting you might elicit negative feelings, esp if they are harder pressed to afford it and/or might be interested in saving money at the expense of comfort (which should be something we support here, hmm?) Something to consider in context of whether you might like to be closer to your niece, how much of their visit is about you vs local attractions, their personality/attitude, and what you know about their financial situation.

My 2 cents...

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ElleFiji

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2017, 09:12:55 AM »
I put people on the floor next to my bed....actually I take the floor+ mattress topper and they get the bed. Extras go in the living room with sleeping bags or blankets. No one has ever requested more than 3 nights.

Maybe at that point they would get a tent in the living room.

frugaliknowit

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2017, 09:17:48 AM »
Did she ask to stay with you? That seems presumptuous on her part.  Is she really coming to visit you or is there some other reason for her to visit the visit the area and she just wants free lodging? My brother in law used to "visit" his grandmother when there was a car show in her area. He basically just slept there and spent all his time at the car show.

Somehow the subject of New Years came up around the same time the subject of coming to Chicago came up, then somehow it was they would come to Chicago for New Years, then I said something like "that's too soon for me...", then I switched it to another time.  Then niece and BF asked when the best time to visit is, then I said something about "the summer".   Nothing specific was said about where they would stay...

Novik

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2017, 09:28:04 AM »
My partner and I split a ~450 sqft 1 bedroom. Since we're recently out of student-hood we host close friends near our age on our very comfortable futon couch in the main room (I'd say living room but it's also the kitchen, so...). A weekend is about the max length for this though, maybe 3 nights if it was during the workweek so we had breaks.

If we had less close friends, or more people, or people who wanted more privacy, staying with us, our first go-to would be the neighbours very cheap air bnb. It's like 50$ a night because it's in their garage and the only running water is inside the house.

Relatives don't stay with us as there is enough established/older family in town with houses to host them. Otherwise I think the siblings would stay with us and the next generation up would get their own hotels. I imagine it's different when you are that next generation or above though!

I think it's very reasonable to offer to host them for dinner or take them out for dinner, or let them store luggage/get changed with you on their first/last day, but I wouldn't have 3 people I wasn't close with camping in my living room... pointing them at some cheap air bnb/hotel options nearby is very reasonable, offering to pay some/all of the cost would be generous but not required.

Frankies Girl

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2017, 09:33:48 AM »
Did she ask to stay with you? That seems presumptuous on her part.  Is she really coming to visit you or is there some other reason for her to visit the visit the area and she just wants free lodging? My brother in law used to "visit" his grandmother when there was a car show in her area. He basically just slept there and spent all his time at the car show.

Somehow the subject of New Years came up around the same time the subject of coming to Chicago came up, then somehow it was they would come to Chicago for New Years, then I said something like "that's too soon for me...", then I switched it to another time.  Then niece and BF asked when the best time to visit is, then I said something about "the summer".   Nothing specific was said about where they would stay...


At any point if they bring this up again, make sure to clarify using pretty clear wording:

"I would love to see you if you are coming to my city! Let me know if you need any suggestions for places to stay and I'll see if I can help you find a good deal on a hotel. I'd love to take you all out to dinner one night or hang out for a day if you have the time to see the sites."

And if they end up asking point blank to stay with you, make sure and explain: "I am so sorry, but I would not be comfortable with that. I don't even have close relatives or friends stay over. My place is tiny and there is literally no room to have more than me living there for any time. I'd be happy to give you some suggestions of decently priced hotels in the area that should fit your budget."

martyconlonontherun

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2017, 09:37:41 AM »
IM0- I would feel obligated and happy to offer a financially struggling family member to stay. Its a couple nights and doesn't cost you anything besides a little inconvenience.

That said, you just need to be very open on the communication. "You are more than welcome to stay but..... 1. It will only be an air mattress in my small condo. 2. I have to work/have these social obligations. 3. you are on your own for meals/transportation. 4. Need to be in bed by XPM"

Make it clear to them that you aren't just going to paying for their vacation. I personally don't find something wrong with my niece/nephew crashing to save a couple hundred on a chicago hotel, but it you need to be clear on the expectation on whether they are visiting you or just using your pad. I've had awkward times where I'm not sure if I'm supposed to set aside time for them or if they already had plans with friends. Even if you only see them for breakfast or an hour before bed, its an opportunity to see them in a different light than a normal family get together.

nessness

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2017, 09:46:47 AM »
You're certainly not obligated to either host them or by for a hotel/AirBNB, but you should definitely be upfront about it.

Either:
"I'd love to see you, but unfortunately I live in a small apartment and don't have room for you guys to stay"
or
"I don't have a guest room, but you guys are welcome to sleep on the sofa for a couple days"
are totally reasonable statements to make.

Frankies Girl

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2017, 09:58:36 AM »
IM0- I would feel obligated and happy to offer a financially struggling family member to stay. Its a couple nights and doesn't cost you anything besides a little inconvenience.

That said, you just need to be very open on the communication. "You are more than welcome to stay but..... 1. It will only be an air mattress in my small condo. 2. I have to work/have these social obligations. 3. you are on your own for meals/transportation. 4. Need to be in bed by XPM"

Make it clear to them that you aren't just going to paying for their vacation. I personally don't find something wrong with my niece/nephew crashing to save a couple hundred on a chicago hotel, but it you need to be clear on the expectation on whether they are visiting you or just using your pad. I've had awkward times where I'm not sure if I'm supposed to set aside time for them or if they already had plans with friends. Even if you only see them for breakfast or an hour before bed, its an opportunity to see them in a different light than a normal family get together.


Totally understand, but a few points:

One, this is not a close relative or someone the OP regularly interacts with.

Two, if the niece was struggling, then they should not be considering taking a vacation where they will be expecting to spend money they don't have in addition to others possibly footing the bill. Niece has not worked for her entire adult life according to OP, which is concerning that she might be expecting OP to treat her, her BF, and BF's kid to a "nice" vacation since OP lives in a city they are interested in visiting. It's not the same as a beloved friend or relative asking to crash for a few days while they find an apartment near the job they just landed; it literally is a potential uber-mooch situation that OP should be quite worried about being sucked into. This literally is expecting OP to open his home to strangers based on a tenuous connection to a relative OP only sees on special occasions if then.

I do agree about making sure they understand if they visit, they are responsible for their entertainment, food, etc... but it should also be clarified that OP isn't housing them either and it is OKAY NOT TO DO SO. Even if OP had a 5 bedroom house with no one else staying there, it is very shitty to assume that because someone is related and lives in an area where they want to visit that OP is required to give them free accommodations.

I know of some folks that live in a popular resort area, and they used to get relatives "visiting" them all the time which meant they wanted to get free room and board and use the couple so they could go visit all the sites and expected the hosts to clean up after them, feed them, drive them around, and do all without any thought to their own schedules. They weren't there to see the couple; they were there to take advantage of them. This is RUDE and they were right in finally saying no to all those freeloaders.

OP - again, it is okay to say "No, this won't work for me." and refuse to allow them to stay if it comes down to that. Just do this politely but firmly. I do hope it isn't the sort of situation I am thinking (potential mooch-a-thon) but I tend to think the worst, so better to advise for the worst and hope I'm wrong. :)

MrsDinero

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2017, 10:10:10 AM »
IM0- I would feel obligated and happy to offer a financially struggling family member to stay. Its a couple nights and doesn't cost you anything besides a little inconvenience.

That said, you just need to be very open on the communication. "You are more than welcome to stay but..... 1. It will only be an air mattress in my small condo. 2. I have to work/have these social obligations. 3. you are on your own for meals/transportation. 4. Need to be in bed by XPM"

Make it clear to them that you aren't just going to paying for their vacation. I personally don't find something wrong with my niece/nephew crashing to save a couple hundred on a chicago hotel, but it you need to be clear on the expectation on whether they are visiting you or just using your pad. I've had awkward times where I'm not sure if I'm supposed to set aside time for them or if they already had plans with friends. Even if you only see them for breakfast or an hour before bed, its an opportunity to see them in a different light than a normal family get together.


Totally understand, but a few points:

One, this is not a close relative or someone the OP regularly interacts with.

Two, if the niece was struggling, then they should not be considering taking a vacation where they will be expecting to spend money they don't have in addition to others possibly footing the bill. Niece has not worked for her entire adult life according to OP, which is concerning that she might be expecting OP to treat her, her BF, and BF's kid to a "nice" vacation since OP lives in a city they are interested in visiting. It's not the same as a beloved friend or relative asking to crash for a few days while they find an apartment near the job they just landed; it literally is a potential uber-mooch situation that OP should be quite worried about being sucked into. This literally is expecting OP to open his home to strangers based on a tenuous connection to a relative OP only sees on special occasions if then.

I do agree about making sure they understand if they visit, they are responsible for their entertainment, food, etc... but it should also be clarified that OP isn't housing them either and it is OKAY NOT TO DO SO. Even if OP had a 5 bedroom house with no one else staying there, it is very shitty to assume that because someone is related and lives in an area where they want to visit that OP is required to give them free accommodations.

I know of some folks that live in a popular resort area, and they used to get relatives "visiting" them all the time which meant they wanted to get free room and board and use the couple so they could go visit all the sites and expected the hosts to clean up after them, feed them, drive them around, and do all without any thought to their own schedules. They weren't there to see the couple; they were there to take advantage of them. This is RUDE and they were right in finally saying no to all those freeloaders.

OP - again, it is okay to say "No, this won't work for me." and refuse to allow them to stay if it comes down to that. Just do this politely but firmly. I do hope it isn't the sort of situation I am thinking (potential mooch-a-thon) but I tend to think the worst, so better to advise for the worst and hope I'm wrong. :)

Frankies Girl has great advice for laying out the ground rules.   Being clear and upfront about the accomodations and expectations leaves little guesswork on all sides.

Another option is staying in a hostel.  I think these fell out of favor with the rise of AirBNBs, but in the late 90's and early 2000's I stayed at a lot of hostels for $10-$30/night depending on the city.  A quick search shows there is 1 in Chicago very near Millennium Park that has rates of $28/night for the male or female dorms, or if they want to spend a little more they can get a co-ed suite for $78/night.  I loved hostel staying because you got to meet so many interesting people and it was cheap!


https://www.hiusa.org/hostels/illinois/chicago/chicago

BigHaus89

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2017, 10:14:43 AM »
IM0- I would feel obligated and happy to offer a financially struggling family member to stay. Its a couple nights and doesn't cost you anything besides a little inconvenience.

That said, you just need to be very open on the communication. "You are more than welcome to stay but..... 1. It will only be an air mattress in my small condo. 2. I have to work/have these social obligations. 3. you are on your own for meals/transportation. 4. Need to be in bed by XPM"

Make it clear to them that you aren't just going to paying for their vacation. I personally don't find something wrong with my niece/nephew crashing to save a couple hundred on a chicago hotel, but it you need to be clear on the expectation on whether they are visiting you or just using your pad. I've had awkward times where I'm not sure if I'm supposed to set aside time for them or if they already had plans with friends. Even if you only see them for breakfast or an hour before bed, its an opportunity to see them in a different light than a normal family get together.


Totally understand, but a few points:

One, this is not a close relative or someone the OP regularly interacts with.

Two, if the niece was struggling, then they should not be considering taking a vacation where they will be expecting to spend money they don't have in addition to others possibly footing the bill. Niece has not worked for her entire adult life according to OP, which is concerning that she might be expecting OP to treat her, her BF, and BF's kid to a "nice" vacation since OP lives in a city they are interested in visiting. It's not the same as a beloved friend or relative asking to crash for a few days while they find an apartment near the job they just landed; it literally is a potential uber-mooch situation that OP should be quite worried about being sucked into. This literally is expecting OP to open his home to strangers based on a tenuous connection to a relative OP only sees on special occasions if then.

I do agree about making sure they understand if they visit, they are responsible for their entertainment, food, etc... but it should also be clarified that OP isn't housing them either and it is OKAY NOT TO DO SO. Even if OP had a 5 bedroom house with no one else staying there, it is very shitty to assume that because someone is related and lives in an area where they want to visit that OP is required to give them free accommodations.

I know of some folks that live in a popular resort area, and they used to get relatives "visiting" them all the time which meant they wanted to get free room and board and use the couple so they could go visit all the sites and expected the hosts to clean up after them, feed them, drive them around, and do all without any thought to their own schedules. They weren't there to see the couple; they were there to take advantage of them. This is RUDE and they were right in finally saying no to all those freeloaders.

OP - again, it is okay to say "No, this won't work for me." and refuse to allow them to stay if it comes down to that. Just do this politely but firmly. I do hope it isn't the sort of situation I am thinking (potential mooch-a-thon) but I tend to think the worst, so better to advise for the worst and hope I'm wrong. :)

+1 to this. This sounds like a clear mooching situation based on my experience with mooches. Set hard lines if you are willing to spend some time with them.

lbmustache

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2017, 11:53:29 AM »
A few (3 nights or less) on a mattress in the living room. I personally don't feel obligated to do anything for relatives I am not close to. I certainly would not chip in for their accommodations - they are the ones who chose to plan this vacation, not you.

justplucky

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2017, 12:00:13 PM »
It depends on who the guests are and what are acceptable sleeping arrangements for everyone. My husband and I have a 700 sq. ft. apartment and we hosted five friends for a weekend. These friends are all close, and had no problem sharing two queen-size air mattresses with each other (the fifth slept on my "sofa," which is a futon).

I think it boils down to what you're comfortable with based on your relationship with the people visiting, your temperament, their temperament, your financial situation, and their financial situation.

Several of the friends in that group have modest financial means, so I probably would've offered to pay the $100/night for a hotel if we couldn't make the apartment work. However, I consider these people family. If my in-laws or parents visited (both are financially comfortable), I'd expect them to stay in a hotel paid for by them.

Cranky

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2017, 02:12:09 PM »
I like having people over, so I just remind people that my house is small and not fancy, but they are welcome to the futon/air mattress, a clean towel, and all the food they can eat.

If you donít enjoy that (and I can understand it - Iíve got three families members and thier cat staying this week, and itís disruptive), I think itís fine to say no or put a limit to it.

Miss Piggy

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2017, 02:46:10 PM »
28 years old and never had a job? Dayum. (I'll just stop there before I say something that might be rude.)

sparkytheop

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2017, 10:41:56 AM »
This is going to come down to what *you* want.

If you don't mind them staying, just let them know you live in a small place, but you'd be happy to let them stay on the couch or an air mattress.  (If they don't know you're in a small space, and they are used to family living in larger spaces, they likely wouldn't just "realize" this, and likely just assume you have a spare room "like everyone else".)

If you prefer they not stay, you are not obligated to pay for accommodations.  It would be nice to clue them in on the inexpensive but decent hotels in the area if you know of some, but you should not feel like you have to pay for this.  "I'm not set up for overnight guests" should be more than enough explanation for why they aren't invited to stay in your home.

They may be trying to mooch, they may not.  I've visited very distant relatives (in France), and had no intention of trying to stay at their place, I just thought it would be great to be able to meet up for lunch or dinner.  They invited me to stay a few nights, and while it felt a little weird at first to accept (because we were literally strangers, just distantly related), they kept insisting, so I did.  By the time our visit was over they really did feel like family.  However, they also had the space for guests, I wasn't the first American family visitor, and my trip to the area did not depend on my staying in their home.

sparkytheop

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2017, 10:43:05 AM »
28 years old and never had a job? Dayum. (I'll just stop there before I say something that might be rude.)

I missed this the first read-through, and, as someone who has worked since fifth grade, I agree with the "dayum" statement!

Peachtea

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #21 on: December 30, 2017, 11:42:03 AM »
I live in a 600SF junior 1 bedroom condo (the junior part being a doorway, but no door to the bedroom). Iíve hosted up to 3 people at once in my apartment. 2 people on an air mattress in the living room, one on a twin roll out foam mattress. I always offer for people to stay at our place to avoid hotel costs - family, distant family, close friends, friends who used to be close when I live in other cities but I donít talk regularly with anymore. Anyone I donít actively dislike or think will be a pain. I tell them ďmy place is tiny but your welcome to stay on our air mattress. Or I can give hotel recommendations if your more comfortable with that.Ē Most people, except those with kids, choose our air mattress instead of an expensive Chicago hotel. But I enjoy visitors and catching up with people. They usually only stay a few nights.

Our friends and family usually reciprocate when we go visit them and their cities. And usually when we visit distant friends they offer right away ďcanít wait to see you again, youíre welcome to my pull out couch, air mattress etc.Ē Or if itís not clear Iíll ask do you have an air mattress we can crash on or would it be best for us to get a hotel room? With the hope of letting them know we want to see them either way and are willing to pay our own way (not mooch) but would appreciate a free bed. But Iím also your nieceís age, so maybe itís a generation thing of crashing at people places.

If you donít want to host, just send an email saying hereís some hotel recommendations, let me know if you have any questions when booking a place for this summer. Weíll have to plan a dinner or day together or etc. If you decide to host, say your welcome to my air mattress or I can give you hotel recommendations. I doubt they would ever expect you to pay for their hotel. Although, I have to say when you told them New Years isnít good for me, summer would be better, that sounds like an offer to host. If you werenít offering to host I wouldíve expected a response of oh, well if you visit New Years we probably wouldnít be able to meet up, but if you come in the summer I could take a day off to give you a tour or do dinner etc.

Tobias

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #22 on: December 30, 2017, 11:10:47 PM »
Up to 3 people staying?  I'd just say, "I'm sorry I don't have room to host." You don't owe her any more explanation. Why would you consider paying for her hotel?

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Dollar Slice

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #23 on: December 31, 2017, 12:47:11 AM »
I live in a 550 sq ft apartment and live in Manhattan, so lots of people want to stay here to save on hotel money. I have only once had 2 people stay with me at the same time... one on the air mattress and one on the couch. It was pretty rough (although they were pretty messy/disorganized so it might work better with someone else who didn't make a mess everywhere). My general rule is "no staying over during the work week." There's lots of ways you can explain that one (I'm not a morning person, I just can't get out of the house on time when I'm climbing over people's mattresses on the floor, I get stressed before work, etc.) That limits things nicely. And if I agree to let them stay for an extra night or two after saying that, they usually try to be better guests since it was stated up front that they are being a bit of an imposition.

But regardless of length of stay, I don't think I would let two people and a kid stay here unless it was an actual emergency.

SimpleCycle

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #24 on: December 31, 2017, 04:42:05 AM »
We live in a 2 br with our two kids.  Our policy is based on the desires and comfort level of the guests, but we are also happy to host.

My mom always stays with us.  My in laws prefer Airbnb.  A friend who visits frequently used to sleep on the couch but began to want more privacy and less toddler, so he stays in an Airbnb as well.  My sister and her two kids stayed with us for a week.

If I didn’t want to host, I’d offer hotel/Airbnb recommendations.  It’s totally reasonable to not want to share your space with people you aren’t close to.

Mrs. S

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #25 on: January 01, 2018, 02:40:11 AM »
We live in a  1BHK and face the same issues. Our immediate family (parents and siblings) have camped in our living room multiple times and we finally bought a futon so that their old bones are not taxed by getting up from the floor. We are all quite OK with that as an arrangement and they have been quite helpful by cooking for us. All of them come to the city to meet us and with the prices in this city it is quite expensive to take up a hotel nearby.
With extended family we had to stay for a few nights and I would not like to repeat that ever. There were six people in our tiny apartment and it was not fun at all. However they guests were quite respectful and made sure we came back to a clean home with food on the table.
That is where my charity stops especially after we let a friend stay with us for a month sleeping in our living room. NEVER AGAIN. If you are not really close to your guest everything they do will grate on your nerves especially if it goes on for more than a day or two. Something as simple as waiting to use the loo got me really worked up.

aspiringnomad

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Re: Policy/Practices accomodating Out of town guests when living in 1 bedroom
« Reply #26 on: January 01, 2018, 09:12:02 PM »
Great question. We live in an 780 sq foot 1BR. In the past, we'd usually put people up in the den on a fold out couch and hung curtains on the glass-paned french doors for privacy. It was comfortable enough for a few days or more depending on the guests. Our finances are now very solid and since being around people we love is consistent with our spending values, we now put up all invitees in a nearby airbnb at our expense even/especially if it's a couple weeks (usually ~120/night). We sometimes have people visiting from far flung parts of the world and want to allay their travel costs a bit while they're visiting us.

But we still expect uninvited drop-ins to either take the den or find their own place to stay. If we know they're not going to be the most considerate guests, I'll suggest hotel and airbnb options as a not so subtle hint that they should consider staying elsewhere.