Author Topic: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?  (Read 5002 times)

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Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« on: March 02, 2014, 08:35:02 PM »
I'm originally from Ireland moved to Western Australia just over 18 months ago. My only sister who I am close to is getting married this August. We had always planned to go back to Ireland for the wedding but now I am having second thoughts due to cost.

All in for myself, husband and 2 kids it will cost around $15k to attend, and that's staying with family no hotels. It's driving me crazy because she really wants us there and I would love to go but I just keep thinking we are practically paying for a wedding ourselves!

I am not homesick at all and wouldn't even think of going home for a visit yet if it wasn't for the wedding. My Mum and one of my brothers visited us last year so we have seen some family recently.

I have already booked flights these can be refunded but we would lose $2-3k, that wouldn't bother me too much as essentially this is a sunk cost.

So would you attend? We have savings so we wouldn't go into debt but it would severely reduce our savings this year. I'm so confused!

NinetyFour

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2014, 08:42:19 PM »
Have you considered going, but without hubs and kids?

Cassie

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2014, 09:59:18 PM »
That sounds like the best plan!

homehandymum

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2014, 10:08:05 PM »
Have you considered going, but without hubs and kids?

+1

And have you checked prices through all the different providers and routes?  I had a friend travel from NZ to see family in the US, and found that it was cheaper to book a world holiday and also see Europe, than it was to just fly to the US. Nuts, but there you go.  I have no idea what the best way to find this out is, tho.

gooki

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2014, 01:20:37 AM »
Assuming your some what on your way to FI, and have already booked the tickets, I say go and have a good time.

lhamo

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2014, 05:11:29 AM »
I would go.  Hopefully your sister will only get married once.  You can afford it.  It is worth it to be there, in my book.  I am living as and expat and understand both the pain of shelling out AND the importance of being there for family events.  We pay to travel back to the US twice a year so that we can see my mom and our kids can maintain a relationship with their cousins.  Worth every penny in my book.

Or, if you really can't stomach the cost, as others have suggested you could go by yourself.

tmac

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2014, 07:13:02 AM »
If my sibling and I were close*, I would probably just go alone. Or I might offer to pay for the sister and her new spouse to come visit me after the wedding instead. It would be a really nice wedding gift, and still cheaper for you than bringing the whole family along.


* We are not close. I'd pay $15K to avoid going.

Counting Down

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2014, 07:27:54 AM »
I had thought of going alone but it'll be our only trip this year so it has to be a family one plus everyone at home would be gutted if the kids didn't come as well.

I have made the decision to just suck it up and go. She'd be devastated if we missed it and we can afford it. We'll just try to keep costs as low as possible.

We had offered to pay for them to visit instead but they thought it would be too awkward travelling with a young child. My brother is getting married next year and this is our plan for them as I am definitely not shelling that out 2 years in a row!

Thanks for all the opinions they really did help.





homehandymum

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2014, 12:58:34 PM »
I had thought of going alone but it'll be our only trip this year so it has to be a family one plus everyone at home would be gutted if the kids didn't come as well.

I have made the decision to just suck it up and go. She'd be devastated if we missed it and we can afford it. We'll just try to keep costs as low as possible.

Have a great time!  Enjoy yourselves and don't be so worried about money that you forget to have fun :)

CommonCents

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2014, 01:36:58 PM »
I had thought of going alone but it'll be our only trip this year so it has to be a family one plus everyone at home would be gutted if the kids didn't come as well.

I have made the decision to just suck it up and go. She'd be devastated if we missed it and we can afford it. We'll just try to keep costs as low as possible.

We had offered to pay for them to visit instead but they thought it would be too awkward travelling with a young child. My brother is getting married next year and this is our plan for them as I am definitely not shelling that out 2 years in a row!

Thanks for all the opinions they really did help.

Why is it significantly cheaper for them to travel to you?  Sounds like it's 3 versus 4 traveling, but otherwise, the costs would be similar.

Have you talked to your brother about your plan?  Would he be hurt you are attending your sister's wedding and not his?

Melody

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2014, 04:06:49 PM »
Hi fellow Western Australian! If by any chance you are in Perth, we'd love to see you at our next meet-up

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/forum/meetups-and-social-events/perth-meetup!-%28australia%29/150/


Counting Down

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2014, 06:12:12 PM »
I had thought of going alone but it'll be our only trip this year so it has to be a family one plus everyone at home would be gutted if the kids didn't come as well.

I have made the decision to just suck it up and go. She'd be devastated if we missed it and we can afford it. We'll just try to keep costs as low as possible.

We had offered to pay for them to visit instead but they thought it would be too awkward travelling with a young child. My brother is getting married next year and this is our plan for them as I am definitely not shelling that out 2 years in a row!

Thanks for all the opinions they really did help.

Why is it significantly cheaper for them to travel to you?  Sounds like it's 3 versus 4 traveling, but otherwise, the costs would be similar.

Have you talked to your brother about your plan?  Would he be hurt you are attending your sister's wedding and not his?

Our 2 kids are over 2 so it's 90% of adult price for flight for both of them. Their one child is under 2 so very low cost. Plus we have to rent a car in Ireland whereas we have a big car in Australia that fits everyone so no car rental.

No haven't told my brother yet I'm sure he will be a bit annoyed but we can't go to everyone. My husbands brother is getting married the year after that and again we can't go if we went to them all it would be an expensive "holiday" every year.

MrsPete

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Re: Huge cost to attend Family wedding, would you go?
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2014, 04:21:27 PM »
An only sister's wedding?  I'd go no matter what the cost.  If you said a cousin or a distant family member, I'd waiver . . . but you can't miss your sister's wedding.  When you left the country, you knew that you'd occasionally need to spend on travel expenses to return home for family reasons -- this is an unmissable reason.

However, I do think that going without your family is an acceptable option. 

And hopefully you can stay with family, so you're really only paying for the plane flight plus incidentals.