Author Topic: Need Advice in CT - Custody  (Read 2313 times)


  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
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Need Advice in CT - Custody
« on: February 24, 2016, 08:07:08 AM »
Quick bullets below if you want to skip the story. Much has been left purposely vague.

I have had to turn down job opportunities because I am tied a specific area of CT because of a previous relationship. My wife and I (as well as my child) would like to move. Our goal, is to move so that we can make a significantly larger sum of money, and live in a region more conducive to a great life. Connecticut has a high cost of living, very little going on, a decreasing tax base, with increasing taxes. There is not much positive here.

Last year we made just shy of $100k USD about ~$97k
We have a mortage with about ~$12k remaining
No CC debt
Less than $10k in student loans
I have a child and have primary custody but pay child support
Child spends most of the week including all weekends with my wife and I.
We would like to move, but have to go back to court.
My child's mother is not a great mother, but the family is well-off and I do not want to prevent my child from seeing them.
Another fear is that if I make more money I have to pay more in child support (aka baby momma support, since I already pay for my child's expenses)

When consulting two lawyers, they basically said in Connecticut the mother has all real rights. Her prior DUIs, and other issues did not prevent the court from awarding her joint custody or forcing you to pay her each week. In fact, the judge actually asked my childs mother if "that was all they were asking for?" My lawyer said that to go back to court, you should have a very solid job offer in a different state. However, he had a previous case where the judge asked "If you do not get full custody, will you turn the job down. The plaintiff said, of course. I am not leaving my children, to which the judge replied, then it is not a real job prospective for you."

My goal is to gain full custody of my child, move (I have a pending job offer at my current company and they understand my situation, but there is no forward momentum at my current office. It would be a significant pay increase.) and allow my child to visit every Christmas break and a good chunk of the summer.

I am not excited to go back to court, but "need" to leave the region. We are sick of CT and while I have had regional job offers, they all require me to commute at minimum 60minutes each way and that is in good traffic.

Any advice?
« Last Edit: February 24, 2016, 09:10:09 AM by CThelp »


  • Magnum Stache
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Re: Need Advice in CT - Custody
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2016, 09:41:13 AM »
IANAL, but would she be willing to trade away her parental rights for a lump sum? The child support payments are for the benefit of the child, and if you have primary care responsibilities and are paying the secondary caregiver, it means you make a lot more than she does. Trading away her rights today means you would not owe her payments in the future.


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Re: Need Advice in CT - Custody
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2016, 09:58:43 AM »
This is slightly off topic, but you say "Connecticut has a high cost of living, very little going on, a decreasing tax base, with increasing taxes. There is not much positive here."  I have lived in CT for many years (after having moved away and lived in various other states), and I agree with most of this (high cost of living, tax issues) EXCEPT that I love CT and there are actually a LOT of positives.  It is a beautiful state with lots of lovely towns along the CT river, the shore, and the Litchfield hills.  Lots of local farms and businesses to support (maple sugaring industry, some spectacular cheeses - I am thinking primarily of Cato Corner Farm in Colchester, but there are others as well), some wonderful museums (NBMAA, Hillstead, Florence Griswold), plenty of great summer activities (outdoor music festivals, Hartford Chorale and Symphony, Walnut Beach), a great system of rail trails, extensive blue-blazed hiking trail system, and a very pleasant section of the AT (although it is only 52 miles).  If you end up staying here anyway, have you really tried looking at what we have locally?