Author Topic: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning  (Read 18967 times)

dkaid

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Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« on: January 13, 2016, 08:08:23 AM »
Yes, I have a house cleaner. Every other week, $75.  As I work to become more frugal and do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH to get on board by my example, I know I should cut this.
But it's so hard.... just a second while I pull on my complainy-pants and list why it's so hard for me. 

1)  I despise cleaning.  I'm a champion tidier but real cleaning makes me angry.
2) I'm a terrible cleaner as I'm pretty impatient by nature. 
3) I work 32 hours outside the home plus carry almost all the household responsibilities (groceries, meal prep, daily clean up, kid activities, general household management) so I really don't have much extra time.
4)  My DH is not on board with a frugal lifestyle.  So while I might work so hard to save $100, he'll go out and blow it some accessory for his fancy Jeep Wrangler.  Maddening...!
5)  We have lots of other low hanging fruit to address, like home improvement spends, groceries, and buying of "stuff".  And I am working on those but I don't have them dialed in by any means. 

I have gone for periods without a cleaner before and I always come crawling back.  A clean house brings me joy:)  I've tried the speed cleaning method but was not successful with it.  I've tried a little bit at a time but I hate that it never feels clean at the same time.  Getting my husband to help more will not be realistic.  I love him dearly but he works a TON and a clean house is not a priority to him so it's just not going to happen. 

Ok so now that I've vomited all that up......  Do you some advice for me to just make it happen?  Make the process easier?  The whole thing feels petty- petty that I care so much and petty that I pay for it. 
Thanks for listening. 

onlykelsey

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2016, 08:10:18 AM »
Sounds like you're shouldering stay-at-home parent responsibilities + a part-time job.  Having a cleaner doesn't seem crazy (depending on your finances generally).

Could you switch to every three weeks?

little_brown_dog

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2016, 08:13:23 AM »
Why don't you just switch to a monthly basis, and then halfway through the month just do a quick clean? That way it isn't all on you, but you cut your cost by 50%.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2016, 08:37:39 AM by little_brown_dog »

ZiziPB

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2016, 08:22:33 AM »
It sounds like for you it's money well spent, so stop beating yourself up about it.  Focus on things that can be changed without feeling deprived or resentful for now.

Apples

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2016, 08:51:35 AM »
Every other week doesn't seem like a terrible life choice at this stage of the game with kids at home and a part time job.  If you want to back it down to once a month to save 50% you can; it would be a quick win.

Someone else on this board has said they do most of their own cleaning, but twice a year pay for a full house scrubdown, including baseboards, doors and walls the kids touch, and all the nooks and crannies you never get around to dusting.  They say it's the best thing that ever happened to their marriage and parenthood.  They do the vacuuming and dusting and bathroom cleaning and such on a weekly or biweekly basis, but have the peace of mind to know that corner then can't get to easily will at least get cleaned twice this year.  And they always have to tidy up a lot before the big scrubdown, so they go through their entire home twice a year.

hoping2retire35

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2016, 09:02:48 AM »
A CLEANER! My, I hadn't noticed our betters were among us! I presume you do count yourself as one of the landed gentry. Do you keep a copy of your pedigree with you at all times? Did your great-grandfather slay a dragon? Did your ancestors come across the 'channel' with William the Conqueror?

Ok, ok, I have been reading for a while about people having 'cleaners', and I couldn't help myself any longer. I'm sorry you had to receive the brunt of it, but hopefully it will give people some perspective.

As an aside, the more you think about something like this the more you realize eating out and having a waiter especially, or taking clothes to the dry cleaners or whatever is kinda ridiculous, like we are of the aristocratic class or something.

Platypuses

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2016, 09:09:50 AM »
I personally do not like having a house cleaner, mainly because stuff is arranged differently every time they come (i.e. dishes put in different spots than where I normally put them). I also do not like having a stranger inside my house when I am not there, or having to prep for the housecleaner to come (put away sensitive mail, launder items that we don't want them to do etc..). However it makes my DW happy and less stressed so I have come to accept it.

If you are financially able to have a housecleaner and it makes you less stressed I say go for it.

Otherwise if you want to reach FI ASAP outsourcing housework is a simple budgetary category to eliminate.

FLBiker

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2016, 09:10:45 AM »
Good suggestions here.  We have someone come as needed (every 4-6 weeks) for $60.  My wife is a SAHM (for now, w/ a 9 mos old).  My wife felt we should give up the cleaner since she was SAHM, but I encouraged her to keep her.  We compromised by reducing the frequency (used to be every 3 weeks).

With stuff like this, I find it helpful to remember that the goal is quality of life, not simply saving as much money as possible.  In a similar vein, I'm toying with the idea of paying for (inexpensive) yard service.  When my DD is older and can help out, it will just be more quality time together.  Right now, though, it's eating into my limited time with her.

FrugalFan

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2016, 09:10:53 AM »
We both work full time and have two young kids (1 & 3) and this will be one of the last things to come out of the budget, at least until the kids are older. We pay $60 every other week. For me, I consider it a cost of $60 to spend an extra four hours with the kids on a biweekly basis. Because that is what would have to come out of our "time" budget. It sounds like this is really beneficial for you and your family and that there are other places to cut that will likely have less of an impact on you.

Louisville

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2016, 09:11:03 AM »
A CLEANER! My, I hadn't noticed our betters were among us! I presume you do count yourself as one of the landed gentry. Do you keep a copy of your pedigree with you at all times? Did your great-grandfather slay a dragon? Did your ancestors come across the 'channel' with William the Conqueror?

Ok, ok, I have been reading for a while about people having 'cleaners', and I couldn't help myself any longer. I'm sorry you had to receive the brunt of it, but hopefully it will give people some perspective.

As an aside, the more you think about something like this the more you realize eating out and having a waiter especially, or taking clothes to the dry cleaners or whatever is kinda ridiculous, like we are of the aristocratic class or something.
+1
Just clean it yourselves. Just do it. If husband doesn't want to clean, bitch at him until he does.

dkaid

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2016, 09:22:20 AM »
Oh, I know.  It does feel like a frivolous thing and as I mentioned I do feel like it's petty of me to care so much, really I do.  I want to achieve FI mostly so I can become more involved in charitable causes and paying for services does create guilt on my part.  But, I value my marriage and family above those things and bitching at my DH to help, well, let's just say I've tried it and it never works. 

A CLEANER! My, I hadn't noticed our betters were among us! I presume you do count yourself as one of the landed gentry. Do you keep a copy of your pedigree with you at all times? Did your great-grandfather slay a dragon? Did your ancestors come across the 'channel' with William the Conqueror?

Ok, ok, I have been reading for a while about people having 'cleaners', and I couldn't help myself any longer. I'm sorry you had to receive the brunt of it, but hopefully it will give people some perspective.

As an aside, the more you think about something like this the more you realize eating out and having a waiter especially, or taking clothes to the dry cleaners or whatever is kinda ridiculous, like we are of the aristocratic class or something.
+1
Just clean it yourselves. Just do it. If husband doesn't want to clean, bitch at him until he does.

dkaid

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2016, 09:27:53 AM »
We both work full time and have two young kids (1 & 3) and this will be one of the last things to come out of the budget, at least until the kids are older. We pay $60 every other week. For me, I consider it a cost of $60 to spend an extra four hours with the kids on a biweekly basis. Because that is what would have to come out of our "time" budget. It sounds like this is really beneficial for you and your family and that there are other places to cut that will likely have less of an impact on you.

This overall is how I feel in my heart of hearts.  But there is some tension in that for me, hence the post.  Although my husband does not complain about paying for a house cleaner, I feel like I won't be able to win him over to frugality unless I cut absolutely everything I can.  Typing this though I'm not sure how solid this logic is- his is very much is own man and I'm most likely overestimating my influence on these matters.  Knowing him he might just become more secretive about his spending.....

FLBiker

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2016, 09:28:39 AM »
We both work full time and have two young kids (1 & 3) and this will be one of the last things to come out of the budget, at least until the kids are older. We pay $60 every other week. For me, I consider it a cost of $60 to spend an extra four hours with the kids on a biweekly basis. Because that is what would have to come out of our "time" budget. It sounds like this is really beneficial for you and your family and that there are other places to cut that will likely have less of an impact on you.
'

Great perspective.  There are times in your life when you have more money than time, and times when you have more time than money.  I try to make decisions accordingly.

Kaspian

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2016, 11:00:49 AM »
1)  I despise cleaning.  I'm a champion tidier but real cleaning makes me angry.

I see this ^^ as the problem.  You've already convinced yourself it's difficult and you hate doing it.  It's pure mindset.  People think I'm insane and/or totally miserable when I carry a heavy backpack of groceries home through a snow and ice blizzard.  And yeah, a few years ago I would have been miserable.  I've been able to change that mindset completely--now I'm shin-deep in a snowdrift and be like, "Bring it on!!  Rage harder snow!!  That the best you got, mofo?  Goddamn, this is fun!!"  It's cold, and it's wet, and it's heavy, and hard, and am I ever happy.  I get home, warm up, and think, "man--that rocked!" 

Cleaning for me isn't a physical challenge--it's mental cleansing time.  I used to dislike it too (because the world tells us we're "supposed to--it sucks"), but now I blare some angry music (Sex Pistols, Ramones, Nirvana) and vacuum like a warlord.

mm1970

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2016, 11:11:58 AM »
Yes, I have a house cleaner. Every other week, $75.  As I work to become more frugal and do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH to get on board by my example, I know I should cut this.
But it's so hard.... just a second while I pull on my complainy-pants and list why it's so hard for me. 

1)  I despise cleaning.  I'm a champion tidier but real cleaning makes me angry.
2) I'm a terrible cleaner as I'm pretty impatient by nature. 
3) I work 32 hours outside the home plus carry almost all the household responsibilities (groceries, meal prep, daily clean up, kid activities, general household management) so I really don't have much extra time.
4)  My DH is not on board with a frugal lifestyle.  So while I might work so hard to save $100, he'll go out and blow it some accessory for his fancy Jeep Wrangler.  Maddening...!
5)  We have lots of other low hanging fruit to address, like home improvement spends, groceries, and buying of "stuff".  And I am working on those but I don't have them dialed in by any means. 

I have gone for periods without a cleaner before and I always come crawling back.  A clean house brings me joy:)  I've tried the speed cleaning method but was not successful with it.  I've tried a little bit at a time but I hate that it never feels clean at the same time.  Getting my husband to help more will not be realistic.  I love him dearly but he works a TON and a clean house is not a priority to him so it's just not going to happen. 

Ok so now that I've vomited all that up......  Do you some advice for me to just make it happen?  Make the process easier?  The whole thing feels petty- petty that I care so much and petty that I pay for it. 
Thanks for listening.

How old are  your children?

I have a full time job (40 hrs/ week), husband, 2 kids (9 and 3).  I also pay $75 every two weeks for a housecleaner.

Sorrynotsorry

The only way I could see it happening is to get the whole family involved. When we were dinks, we cleaned for about 2 hours on Saturday morning.  The rules were that laundry didn't count.  Two hours and we could clean the place top to bottom.

That's not really possible with kids, at least not toddlers.  At some point, I think you could get the kids involved.  There are lots of sheets out there with age appropriate jobs.  Probably 30 mins would be tidying, then the kids could help dust, vacuum, scrub, whatever.  I used to do that as a kid, but again, not as a very needy 3 year old.

I do need to get better at assigning chores.

But I'm still not giving up the cleaner.  In fact, today is cleaning day!

mm1970

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2016, 11:16:13 AM »
A CLEANER! My, I hadn't noticed our betters were among us! I presume you do count yourself as one of the landed gentry. Do you keep a copy of your pedigree with you at all times? Did your great-grandfather slay a dragon? Did your ancestors come across the 'channel' with William the Conqueror?

Ok, ok, I have been reading for a while about people having 'cleaners', and I couldn't help myself any longer. I'm sorry you had to receive the brunt of it, but hopefully it will give people some perspective.

As an aside, the more you think about something like this the more you realize eating out and having a waiter especially, or taking clothes to the dry cleaners or whatever is kinda ridiculous, like we are of the aristocratic class or something.
I dunno, I think that some types of clothing are not supposed to be washed, and I don't have the ability to dry clean at home.  It's been a couple of decades since I've been required to wear that kind of clothing.  Perhaps my Navy dress uniform was the last.

I have, in my family, more than one person who cleans houses for a living.  Plus people who work as a cook at the elementary school.  Let's add auto mechanics, bankers (you can keep your money under your mattress, no?)  How about the guy who works at the grocery store, or picks the strawberries?

There is no shame in manual labor.  People have been trading labor for money for a long time.  When you appoint a "shame" in hiring someone to do something for you, you de facto assign a "shame" to people who do the work, no?

Sailor Sam

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2016, 11:57:25 AM »
1)  I despise cleaning.  I'm a champion tidier but real cleaning makes me angry.

Do you know why enjoy the tidying, but hate cleaning? Does it feel unappreciated? Do you not like the chemicals? Does the annoyance outstrip the satisfaction of the clean sparkle at the end? Does the result not last long enough? If you can zero in on that, you might be able to shift your automatic reaction. You, too, could like both tidying and cleaning!

Also, it sounds like you're carrying the burden of 'maintaining the standard' alone, without your husband's help. Changing that could also be powerful. As in, lower your standard, or bring him up to yours. But I'll leave such marital tweaking to you.

Second also, if your kids are old enough, get them cleaning. Child labour is only right and natural.

Prairie Stash

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2016, 01:05:03 PM »
Yes, I have a house cleaner. Every other week, $75.  As I work to become more frugal and do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH to get on board by my example, I know I should cut this.
But it's so hard.... just a second while I pull on my complainy-pants and list why it's so hard for me. 

3) I work 32 hours outside the home plus carry almost all the household responsibilities (groceries, meal prep, daily clean up, kid activities, general household management) so I really don't have much extra time.
Obviously you have kids, so why is it "do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH"? There's another option; get your growing children to help out with age appropriate tasks. If your kid is 8 then get them to sweep the floors. If they're 12 get them to mow the lawn and take out the garbage. If they're 4 get them to pick up toys. Use your judgement but don't be a servant to them, teaching them how to do these tasks is important. One of my goals as a parent is to teach my kid to survive without me which includes cooking and cleaning.

Go with the attitude; how can my family help?

woopwoop

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2016, 01:36:50 PM »
Knowing him he might just become more secretive about his spending.....
Dude, it feels really off to me that your husband is secretive about spending. Like, ugh - you're a couple, you should have shared values and good communication about this kind of stuff. I was going to suggest Flylady since that helped me become a cleaner, but honestly it might be more beneficial to take that cleaning money and go to couples therapy instead so that he can learn to be more supportive around the house. I'm the main cleaner in the family, but Mr. Whipple does all the grocery runs, the trash, the home improvement stuff. It seems like things aren't equitable in your household and it's likely your frustration grows at least in part out of that.

TrMama

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2016, 01:55:40 PM »
Yes, I have a house cleaner. Every other week, $75.  As I work to become more frugal and do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH to get on board by my example, I know I should cut this.
But it's so hard.... just a second while I pull on my complainy-pants and list why it's so hard for me. 

3) I work 32 hours outside the home plus carry almost all the household responsibilities (groceries, meal prep, daily clean up, kid activities, general household management) so I really don't have much extra time.
Obviously you have kids, so why is it "do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH"? There's another option; get your growing children to help out with age appropriate tasks. If your kid is 8 then get them to sweep the floors. If they're 12 get them to mow the lawn and take out the garbage. If they're 4 get them to pick up toys. Use your judgement but don't be a servant to them, teaching them how to do these tasks is important. One of my goals as a parent is to teach my kid to survive without me which includes cooking and cleaning.

Go with the attitude; how can my family help?

Unless your kids are both under 4, they should be doing a significant amount of house work. All your reasons are just major whining. Your kids have too many activities to help out around the house? Well then, cut some of those so they learn how to scrub their own toilet. Yes, 4 year olds can scrub toilets. Mine used to fight over whose turn it was to do that chore. Teach them young before adolescent resistance sets in.

I work 40hrs/week, keep fit, do nearly all the cooking (no eating out cheats because of an allergic kid), do a lot of the housework, blah, blah, blah and don't have a house cleaner. Besides cost, one of the big reasons is because I don't want my kids to grow up thinking it's normal. I don't think it's important for my kids to spend hours in the gym perfecting their triple sow cow, but they do need to learn to look after themselves. That includes cleaning, cooking, fixing stuff, etc. Plus, when you make everyone clean up their own mess, they learn to become less messy in the first place.

Suck it up princess.

hoping2retire35

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2016, 02:24:10 PM »
A CLEANER! My, I hadn't noticed our betters were among us! I presume you do count yourself as one of the landed gentry. Do you keep a copy of your pedigree with you at all times? Did your great-grandfather slay a dragon? Did your ancestors come across the 'channel' with William the Conqueror?

Ok, ok, I have been reading for a while about people having 'cleaners', and I couldn't help myself any longer. I'm sorry you had to receive the brunt of it, but hopefully it will give people some perspective.

As an aside, the more you think about something like this the more you realize eating out and having a waiter especially, or taking clothes to the dry cleaners or whatever is kinda ridiculous, like we are of the aristocratic class or something.
I dunno, I think that some types of clothing are not supposed to be washed, and I don't have the ability to dry clean at home.  It's been a couple of decades since I've been required to wear that kind of clothing.  Perhaps my Navy dress uniform was the last.

I have, in my family, more than one person who cleans houses for a living.  Plus people who work as a cook at the elementary school.  Let's add auto mechanics, bankers (you can keep your money under your mattress, no?)  How about the guy who works at the grocery store, or picks the strawberries?

There is no shame in manual labor.  People have been trading labor for money for a long time.  When you appoint a "shame" in hiring someone to do something for you, you de facto assign a "shame" to people who do the work, no?

No. Why not have a cook, many already eat out a good deal? Why not automate and hire out all parts of our lives? Because it makes us weak, and eventually unappreciative; and yes if I had the time to, I would pick my own strawberries and grow many more fruits and vegetables(which I will when I FIRE). The difference is most people in the Western world have the time and ability to do their own housekeeping. It is kind of a sliding scale; elderly or disabled go ahead and hire out house cleaning; mountain cabin 200 mi away that has weekly rentals, go ahead. On the road or in another city and don't have time/facilities to prepare your own food or fix your broken car; buy it prepared/get someone to fix. There is a time and place for these things; normal everyday living is not one of them.

Obviously we all have our 'weaknesses' but the goal is to get rid of those and take care of our own business, that is why we come to this forum.

sjc0816

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #21 on: January 13, 2016, 02:32:15 PM »
Yes, I have a house cleaner. Every other week, $75.  As I work to become more frugal and do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH to get on board by my example, I know I should cut this.
But it's so hard.... just a second while I pull on my complainy-pants and list why it's so hard for me. 

3) I work 32 hours outside the home plus carry almost all the household responsibilities (groceries, meal prep, daily clean up, kid activities, general household management) so I really don't have much extra time.
Obviously you have kids, so why is it "do more on my own AND  try to convince my DH"? There's another option; get your growing children to help out with age appropriate tasks. If your kid is 8 then get them to sweep the floors. If they're 12 get them to mow the lawn and take out the garbage. If they're 4 get them to pick up toys. Use your judgement but don't be a servant to them, teaching them how to do these tasks is important. One of my goals as a parent is to teach my kid to survive without me which includes cooking and cleaning.

Go with the attitude; how can my family help?

Unless your kids are both under 4, they should be doing a significant amount of house work. All your reasons are just major whining. Your kids have too many activities to help out around the house? Well then, cut some of those so they learn how to scrub their own toilet. Yes, 4 year olds can scrub toilets. Mine used to fight over whose turn it was to do that chore. Teach them young before adolescent resistance sets in.

I work 40hrs/week, keep fit, do nearly all the cooking (no eating out cheats because of an allergic kid), do a lot of the housework, blah, blah, blah and don't have a house cleaner. Besides cost, one of the big reasons is because I don't want my kids to grow up thinking it's normal. I don't think it's important for my kids to spend hours in the gym perfecting their triple sow cow, but they do need to learn to look after themselves. That includes cleaning, cooking, fixing stuff, etc. Plus, when you make everyone clean up their own mess, they learn to become less messy in the first place.

Suck it up princess.

I need to get my kids more involved.  I've always made them responsible for their own messes (rooms, toys, meals, etc)....but haven't had them doing general cleaning. I'm going to start.  Thank you.

justajane

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2016, 02:38:27 PM »
The more I read these threads, the more I think the root of most people using professional housecleaning is relationship issues. I don't say this to downplay the decision; on the contrary, I recognize how difficult these things can be. And, hey, it's cheaper than divorce.

But because it relates to a relationship that presumably the couple values, it might be worthwhile to attempt to solve the underlying problem. The common thread is that (and I will intentionally not gender this) one member of the couple does the bulk of the cleaning and seems to value a clean home more. The other person seems to absolve her or himself of the responsibility because of circumstances or values. I don't have answers for how to solve it, but a cleaning person is a band-aid approach (albeit an effective one).

I think a habitable place to live is absolute, but determining what constitutes a habitable environment is where it gets more complicated. In our relationship, it took some time to bring my spouse around to the idea that, yes, having the expectation of a clean(ish) bathroom and a clean(ish) floor relatively free from dust balls and such does not make me a "clean freak" or someone with inflated standards. Now that we established that some tasks around the house have to be done, I normally do them as the SAHP. But I reserve the right to say, "Honey, I just don't want to get on my hands and knees to scrub the tub tonight. Will you do it?" In our case, I spray the tub and hand him the cloth. Meeting him halfway just makes it easier.

We are slowly getting around to our children "helping." I have to resist the urge to do everything myself because this is how I was raised. As a child, when I cleaned it was never good enough. My mom made this perfectly clear. I understand her more now, because honestly, when I am cleaning, I just want to be done with it. And children are much slower. But I have to step back and let them do things in their own way with a little direction. 

As I often say around here, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to keep my home its current state of relative disarray and "good enough" cleanliness, i.e. if I didn't clean and organize constantly, it would be a total trainwreck in here. For this reason, I understand why families have cleaners, but honestly, they would need to come bi-weekly to make a dent around here. Maybe we are just filthy people, but bi-monthly or once a month wouldn't really make that much of a difference. I would still have to clean daily.

SeanMC

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2016, 02:48:31 PM »
Maybe the process is to get comfortable with things being less clean, especially since you are talking about cleanliness and not clutter/tidying. It may be something I am reading too much into, but your comment about the clean house bringing you joy makes me wonder about that.

A clean house brings you joy. Why? In what ways does having the house not clean to the same standard that you can reasonably accomplish not satisfy you? How are you defining cleanliness anyway?

Think about what you are experiencing as clean. Is it the smell of cleaning chemicals? Is it a shininess or polished look on floors, counters or windows? Is it a noticeable different in air quality that you are breathing? How are your senses telling you what clean is? Why do these things bring you joy? What is the sense of self that it taps into (I am doing a good job as an adult/wife/parent/etc.)? Is it actually joy or is it relief (one less thing to do that you don't have to do that you hate doing)?

How can you re-frame your state of mind so that you can experience the same happiness without the added cleaning of a professional? Or at least to accept a standard that can be accomplished with less frequent use of a professional cleaner (so reduce how often). Or figure out what component you can do (of the many parts of cleaning) that can replace the feeling you are seeking.

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #24 on: January 13, 2016, 02:50:38 PM »

Obviously we all have our 'weaknesses' but the goal is to get rid of those and take care of our own business, that is why we come to this forum.
Nope, not me.  My goal is to spend more time doing what I want to do.  So if it makes sense for me to hire out some of the chores, then I do it.  And I make sure to enjoy the 1/2 day per week that I otherwise would spend cleaning.   I don't get a lot of time during the week to myself, so my weekends are precious to me. 

hoping2retire35

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #25 on: January 13, 2016, 03:06:12 PM »

Obviously we all have our 'weaknesses' but the goal is to get rid of those and take care of our own business, that is why we come to this forum.
Nope, not me.  My goal is to spend more time doing what I want to do.  So if it makes sense for me to hire out some of the chores, then I do it.  And I make sure to enjoy the 1/2 day per week that I otherwise would spend cleaning.   I don't get a lot of time during the week to myself, so my weekends are precious to me.

same here. that's why you do it everyday before bed. less clutter and dirt to sit around during the week. and why would it take a half day to clean?

Bee21

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #26 on: January 13, 2016, 03:16:23 PM »
This is a hillarious thread v strong feelings obviously.

how big is your house? McMansions obviously need a lot of time to clean. Whenever people comment on the smallness of my house( 3bed 2bath is apparently small) I reply that the biggest advantage is that it is easy to clean and there is no space for clutter.

I like a nice, neat and well irganized space. Obviously it is only a dream w kids around, but w some effrt we can keep a minimal standard.
Ii
I clean 2x a week, about 1 hr = cardio exercise.
Declutter regularly= a bit of zen and/or releasing tension.


Win win.

Hubby is the gardener and pool boy and t occadional floor cleaner. I


Iii

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #27 on: January 13, 2016, 03:28:59 PM »
Not sure what your cleaning requires, but since you're good at decluttering (picking stuff off the floor?), getting a robotic vacuum might be worth the investment.  I have a Neato XV-21 and it's the best thing I've ever bought-- got it for a deal for around $300 over two years ago and refurbs can be found for cheaper.  Our cats are constantly scattering litter everywhere and I can't stand seeing visible dirt on the floor.  My daily routine coming home used to be vacuuming or sweeping but now I only do "deep cleaning" with the normal vacuum a few times a year, supplemented with quick sweeping in corners or where the Neato can't reach, like the rug edges.  The $50 batteries seem to last about a year before I start getting constant battery errors, but I find that I can extend the life by doing a hard reset (unscrewing the back and unplugging the battery).

If your major headache is constant floor-cleaning, I'd really look into a robotic vacuum.  Yes, you need to make an initial investment, but it's 2-3 months of cleaning fees for you?  Personally I love the Neato because it is very methodical and maps out the room, heading back to the charger if it runs out of battery and continuing where it left off.  It also doesn't fall off the stairs and you can "wall" off areas with the included magnetic strip.  It's really so amazing to start it, leave home, and come back to a freshly cleaned floor.

If you have other things that need to be cleaned, you could cut back to twice a year paid deep cleaning like someone suggested  :)

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #28 on: January 13, 2016, 03:35:39 PM »
If you are working a full-time professional job isn't the time-savings of the professional cleaner worth it? If it takes me 4 hours per month to clean everything (an underestimate), but I earn $20/hr+, shouldn't I be willing to pay someone else less than $80/month to do the cleaning for me? I personally would rather spend more time at my job (delaying FIRE) than cleaning. Plenty of MMM people seem to think the time-savings of commuting is worth paying more to live closer to their job, what about the time-savings of not doing cleaning yourself?

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2016, 03:39:49 PM »
When I worked f.t. I had a cleaner once a month. I know what you mean about coming home to the whole house clean at once. Also that would be a good time to have company for dinner without so much work. I would just cut it back to 1x/month and not worry about it. Now that I am semi-retired I have a robotic vacuum and mopper and I love them.

mm1970

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #30 on: January 13, 2016, 03:55:48 PM »
A CLEANER! My, I hadn't noticed our betters were among us! I presume you do count yourself as one of the landed gentry. Do you keep a copy of your pedigree with you at all times? Did your great-grandfather slay a dragon? Did your ancestors come across the 'channel' with William the Conqueror?

Ok, ok, I have been reading for a while about people having 'cleaners', and I couldn't help myself any longer. I'm sorry you had to receive the brunt of it, but hopefully it will give people some perspective.

As an aside, the more you think about something like this the more you realize eating out and having a waiter especially, or taking clothes to the dry cleaners or whatever is kinda ridiculous, like we are of the aristocratic class or something.
I dunno, I think that some types of clothing are not supposed to be washed, and I don't have the ability to dry clean at home.  It's been a couple of decades since I've been required to wear that kind of clothing.  Perhaps my Navy dress uniform was the last.

I have, in my family, more than one person who cleans houses for a living.  Plus people who work as a cook at the elementary school.  Let's add auto mechanics, bankers (you can keep your money under your mattress, no?)  How about the guy who works at the grocery store, or picks the strawberries?

There is no shame in manual labor.  People have been trading labor for money for a long time.  When you appoint a "shame" in hiring someone to do something for you, you de facto assign a "shame" to people who do the work, no?

No. Why not have a cook, many already eat out a good deal? Why not automate and hire out all parts of our lives? Because it makes us weak, and eventually unappreciative; and yes if I had the time to, I would pick my own strawberries and grow many more fruits and vegetables(which I will when I FIRE). The difference is most people in the Western world have the time and ability to do their own housekeeping. It is kind of a sliding scale; elderly or disabled go ahead and hire out house cleaning; mountain cabin 200 mi away that has weekly rentals, go ahead. On the road or in another city and don't have time/facilities to prepare your own food or fix your broken car; buy it prepared/get someone to fix. There is a time and place for these things; normal everyday living is not one of them.

Obviously we all have our 'weaknesses' but the goal is to get rid of those and take care of our own business, that is why we come to this forum.

It's a sliding scale, really.

Growing your own/ cooking from scratch -> buying your groceries and cooking from scratch -> buying prepared foods and heating them up -> getting takeout -> eating at a restaurant -> having a personal chef -> having a live in chef

Having two SAHPs -> Having one SAHP -> Having one SAHP but using PT childcare -> Having two working parents and using daycare -> Having 2 WP and a full-time nanny -> having 2 WP and a live-in nanny

Cleaning your own house all the time -> using a service a couple of times a year for "deep cleaning" -> using a service monthly or 2x a month -> having a livev-in cleaning person

Building and doing all maintenance on your car -> doing serious maintenance on your own car (rebuilding an engine) -> doing routine maintenance on your own car (changing fluids, rotating tires) -> outsourcing all maintenance and cleaning on your car

Building your own house from scratch -> using contractors to build your house but act as gen contractor -> doing all of your own home maintenance and improvements (building cabinets, drywall, roofing) -> hiring out major improvements (roofing, HVAC) but doing minor home repairs -> attempting all repairs yourself before you hire someone else -> Call the plumber immediately (or whatever)

Being retired -> telecommuting -> walking to work -> biking to work -> take public transit (aka, no car in any of those first ones) -> riding a motorcycle to work -> combo car/  or bike to work -> carpooling -> driving a compact car to work -> driving a mid-sized car to work -> driving a big gas guzzler to work -> driving 2 hours each way to work

Shearing your own sheep for wool -> Spinning your own yarn from wool you buy -> buying yarn to knit a sweater as a gift -> buying a sweater as a gift

"Vacationing in your backyard" (or: not needing to "get away" or "See the world") -> taking trips camping and roughing it -> camping in a campground with running water -> using a pop-up trailer, 5th wheel, camping van, etc. -> staying in a hotel because you like a roof -> getting a suite so you have more space -> renting a condo so you can cook! -> taking a train -> flying -> going somewhere exotic because, Travel! It's ok to spend on Travel! -> full on fancy-pants vacation

It is a sliding scale for sure, where do put the scale?  The far left is simply out of reach for most Americans will small children and full time jobs, if you are asking for the far left in every category.

The average American worker works 46.7 hours per week, up from 39.7 hours in 1990.  An extra 7 hours per week, per person.  Where does this 7 hours come from?  Probably a combination of things, #1 being sleep.

I really have a hard time comparing life as a kid and life now.  I mean, no we never had a cleaning person, we were poor.  When my grandmother died, we cleaned my grandfather's house for him.  But then again, my mother did not work outside of the house until I was 12, and even then, it was 2 days a week.

I prioritize shopping for good prices, cooking from scratch, helping my kid with his homework, helping the toddler with his lego obsession, cleaning up barf (it's been a rough winter), exercise and sleep (outside of my work day, which is 10 hours a day when you count "door to door", which means drop off and pick up).

Those don't have to be your priorities. 
« Last Edit: January 13, 2016, 04:18:04 PM by mm1970 »

Making Cents

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #31 on: January 13, 2016, 03:57:10 PM »
This might earn me some face punches, but I'll fess up to my solution to this anyway.... robots! Yes, not only am I a card-carrying member of the aristocracy, it's the tech-savvy aristocracy of the future.

I work 65 hours a week. My husband works around 40. If I don't clean the house, it doesn't get done. Stress and marital discord ensue...

We love our "robot army." Total marriage saver. We own:

A Neato vaccuum
A Scooba to mop kitchen and bathroom tile
A Mint robot to damp dust the hardwood floors
A litterbot to change the cat litter
A "Le Bistro" cat feeder to feed the cats when I work late

I'm waiting for the day they come out with one that does toilets.

Was it expensive? Yeah. Has it paid for itself and then some? Hell, yeah. Robots are waaaay cheaper than divorce. Or hired help for that matter. :)

The irony of this is that I'm one of those weirdos who actually enjoys cleaning (preferably "dance-cleaning" to a loud upbeat soundtrack). I just am not willing to prioritize it over other stuff like spending time with friends and family.

Even with the robots, on occasion I still do have to dust, clean windows, mirrors, the fridge, etc.... but I'd guess the bots cut my working-after-work time down by around two thirds. Plus, my husband thinks it's fun to run the bots, so I get more help all around. Win win!

mm1970

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #32 on: January 13, 2016, 03:59:15 PM »

Obviously we all have our 'weaknesses' but the goal is to get rid of those and take care of our own business, that is why we come to this forum.
Nope, not me.  My goal is to spend more time doing what I want to do.  So if it makes sense for me to hire out some of the chores, then I do it.  And I make sure to enjoy the 1/2 day per week that I otherwise would spend cleaning.   I don't get a lot of time during the week to myself, so my weekends are precious to me.

same here. that's why you do it everyday before bed. less clutter and dirt to sit around during the week. and why would it take a half day to clean?
in my case because I don't get time before bed.  From the minute I get home with the kids, it's cooking, dishes, baths, homework...and 9 days out of 10, I fall asleep before my toddler.  You can imagine what a disaster the house is when my spouse is out of town.

mm1970

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #33 on: January 13, 2016, 04:02:45 PM »
When I worked f.t. I had a cleaner once a month. I know what you mean about coming home to the whole house clean at once. Also that would be a good time to have company for dinner without so much work. I would just cut it back to 1x/month and not worry about it. Now that I am semi-retired I have a robotic vacuum and mopper and I love them.
This opens up another interesting topic.  My husband and I are pretty social animals.  Stomach flu aside (we had to cancel a bunch of social things at our house since November because of it) - there is that extra work of having people over.

I'm not a clean freak by any means.  But I was recently thinking about "the cooking" part of socializing.  I do all of the cooking, and I spend many many hours on the weekend, cooking and doing prep for the week.  (You know, to save money, wash your own lettuce, peel your own carrots).  All of this bulk cooking lasts a few days at best.  If I have to cook for another 4-6 people -it's extra work.  So when my husband asks if we are going to have people over, I kind of give him the blank stare because *I* am the one who ends up doing the cooking. "What can I do to help?"  Order pizza.

mm1970

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #34 on: January 13, 2016, 04:09:16 PM »
However, one thing that I'd like to note that I read today is this:

http://notesfromthefrugaltrenches.com/2016/01/13/fifteen-minute-tidy-up-sessions-have-changed-our-lives-for-the-better/

It's not exactly "cleaning" (and you said you don't mind tidying so much) but you could make similarities.  Again, it depends on the age of your children.  We are working hard to encourage our children to learn to be tidy (cleaning toys, loading the dishwasher, clothes in the hamper, shoes on the shelf).  You could approach cleaning in the same way.

Sunday night, wipe down the kitchen after putting all the leftovers in the fridge.

Tuesday: vacuum all rooms

Wednesday: Mop floors

Thursday: Dust

Saturday: clean the bathroom

I'm guessing this might be "flylady-ish", but I'm not sure.

The struggle that we have, I think, is lack of sleep and kids - it's bad enough to constantly remind them to ... (fill in the blank - brush teeth, get dressed, read, do homework for the big kid, and just deal with the toddler who needs nearly constant attention) - adding cleaning on top of that - a million other things to remind them to do - seems painful.  I feel like a nag, and I tell you, I nag people all day at work too.

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #35 on: January 13, 2016, 04:10:08 PM »
There are plenty of people on this board who will face punch you for having a house cleaner come to do what we can do ourselves (some better than others). My response to that is a big "F-that".

The whole point of mindful spending, saving, reducing, etc. is to put your money where you have consciously determined brings you joy and/or aligns with your values. If you value time with the family more than cleaning and can afford it, go for it. If having cleaners avoids marital strife and you can afford it, go for it. If knowing that the cleaners are coming is the only thing that gets your spouse to pick the damn place up and you can afford it, then go for it.

(Yes, I am projecting my own situation onto the OP question here!) :)

pbkmaine

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #36 on: January 13, 2016, 04:10:12 PM »
Set Pandora to Broadway Show Tunes, set a timer to 30 minutes, and run around cleaning. It is fantastic exercise.

freya

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #37 on: January 13, 2016, 04:16:20 PM »
Cleaning services are truly a wonderful thing, and depending on how crazy your life is, being pampered that way might be completely worth the price.  $75 every two weeks is actually a pretty good deal.

However, just consider that part of the reason we don't like to clean is that we don't actually know how to do it properly.  For me, the Clean Team "Speed Cleaning" books were a revelation.  Cleaning went from sucking away entire weekends to a couple of hours on a weekend morning.  And I discovered that I actually like to clean, when I have the right tools and do it the right way (and to the right music).

Love that list of robotic helpers.  I guess over several years they would win out over the cost of a cleaning service, but maybe not by much.  I don't suppose you've totalled up the cost of all those gadgets and figured out the annual amortized expense, given their expected lifespans?  I'm quite tempted by some of them myself.  If nothing else, they would double as entertainment for the cats.

NoraLenderbee

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #38 on: January 13, 2016, 04:28:09 PM »
There are plenty of people on this board who will face punch you for having a house cleaner come to do what we can do ourselves (some better than others). My response to that is a big "F-that".

The whole point of mindful spending, saving, reducing, etc. is to put your money where you have consciously determined brings you joy and/or aligns with your values.

+2. If a house cleaner enhances your life, and you can afford it, go for it. Why work so hard to get to FIRE if you're going to spend your precious time doing something you hate.

Meowmalade

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #39 on: January 13, 2016, 04:31:04 PM »
A Mint robot to damp dust the hardwood floors
A litterbot to change the cat litter

I need to look into the Mint!  I never mop (we're a no-shoes home), and just wipe down any visible stuff on the floor.  I quickly looked into it and it sounds awesome.  But... acquiring more stuff goes against my values and I need to evaluate the benefits vs adding another thing to my house.

We had a Litter Robot until our girl cat stopped using it.  It was awesome until then.  At least I bought it used and sold it without much of a loss.

How I love living in this century, and having these options!

Making Cents

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #40 on: January 13, 2016, 04:42:57 PM »
Love that list of robotic helpers.  I guess over several years they would win out over the cost of a cleaning service, but maybe not by much.  I don't suppose you've totalled up the cost of all those gadgets and figured out the annual amortized expense, given their expected lifespans?  I'm quite tempted by some of them myself.  If nothing else, they would double as entertainment for the cats.

I did do this before buying so can questimate. All were purchased in Sept 2013 except for Le Bistro, who has been faithfully serving our cats for at least 6 years, maybe 8. All still going strong.

Neato botvac signature series (most expensive model at time)- purchased on sale with an additional coupon, about $750
Mint - purchased last year's floor model - around $150
Litterbot II- purchased brand new best model - around $300ish? maybe as high as $400 (my favorite - worth EVERY penny!!)
Scooba - purchased second hand on eBay for about $400 because the seller wanted the newer model
Le Bistro - fuzzy recollections here... prob between $100-$200

Maintenance costs since: 1 replacement battery for Neato ($50). Replacement filters for Neato about one per 6 months (around $15 for a 4 pack). Batteries for Le Bistro (about $10/year max). So let's say we pay $50 per year.

Savings because of robots: No cat sitters. Ever. We used to pay at least $400 twice per year for this (because I have this irrational thing I need to get over where I can't stand to ask my friends to clean up my cat litter even though I gladly do it for them). We also bought the Neato instead of an actual upright vacuum, so at least $150 saved there?

Okay, so this means I spent as much as $1900 total over 29 months and counting, or about $836 per year once maintenance is included. Costs goes down every year they last.  By the way, you all can do better than this now by buying used because the technology has come far enough that last year's models are fantastic.

If you are paying $75 every two weeks for a cleaning service, that's $1950 per year, so I have you beat BUT you get toilets, mirrors, windows, etc with all that. I don't. Basically I use the bots as my "helpers" so that I can clean the house to ready-for-sleepover-guests mode in a couple of hours instead of most of a day. Or I can vacuum while cooking, for example. It feels like a superpower. :)

Kris

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #41 on: January 13, 2016, 04:53:43 PM »
There are plenty of people on this board who will face punch you for having a house cleaner come to do what we can do ourselves (some better than others). My response to that is a big "F-that".

The whole point of mindful spending, saving, reducing, etc. is to put your money where you have consciously determined brings you joy and/or aligns with your values.

+2. If a house cleaner enhances your life, and you can afford it, go for it. Why work so hard to get to FIRE if you're going to spend your precious time doing something you hate.

Yeah, to me, mindful spending is what this site is about. Not never spending money, but not spending it on shit that is more emotional or mindless spending. I myself also have a cleaning person come in once a month.

That said, I third the suggestion that the OP's children should be participating in the cleaning.

Making Cents

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #42 on: January 13, 2016, 05:06:39 PM »
A Mint robot to damp dust the hardwood floors
A litterbot to change the cat litter

I need to look into the Mint!

I think it is called Braava now because the Roomba people bought out the mint company.


And yeah, mindful spending that actually enriches happiness... I'm with you folks. That's why I'm here. If there were such a thing as a unit of happiness I would want to maximize those units per dollar earned, dollar spent, dollar saved, etc. Efficiency in money-management with the goal of building happiness as wealth. The Bhutan of personal finance.

The_path_less_taken

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #43 on: January 13, 2016, 07:33:50 PM »
OP,

Do what you feel works best for you....although I'm with the people that question DH buying Jeep parts etc at will.

I'm an indifferent housekeeper at best. But I find really loud music and a lot of caffeine helps...

To all you people with robots: what happens if a (few) 50lb dogs jump on them...instant yard art?

I looked at the one Costco had on sale over Xmas. I put it in the cart until I turned over the floor model and inspected the collection bin: it was the size of a sandwich baggie.

Obviously meant for city folk: one piece of hay and small chunk of dog toy 'stuffing' would kill the little bastard.

Meowmalade

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #44 on: January 13, 2016, 07:50:17 PM »
To all you people with robots: what happens if a (few) 50lb dogs jump on them...instant yard art?

I looked at the one Costco had on sale over Xmas. I put it in the cart until I turned over the floor model and inspected the collection bin: it was the size of a sandwich baggie.

Obviously meant for city folk: one piece of hay and small chunk of dog toy 'stuffing' would kill the little bastard.

Sounds like you might be more in need of a shop vac!  I generally keep a very clean house and I am simply amazed that the bin is filled up every time, especially if it goes over the wool rug.  How does the rug shed that much?!

The Neato might survive the dog jumps (it looks sturdy enough) but it's expensive enough that I might not risk it  :)

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #45 on: January 14, 2016, 02:47:42 AM »
OP,

Do what you feel works best for you....although I'm with the people that question DH buying Jeep parts etc at will.

I'm an indifferent housekeeper at best. But I find really loud music and a lot of caffeine helps...

To all you people with robots: what happens if a (few) 50lb dogs jump on them...instant yard art?

I looked at the one Costco had on sale over Xmas. I put it in the cart until I turned over the floor model and inspected the collection bin: it was the size of a sandwich baggie.

Obviously meant for city folk: one piece of hay and small chunk of dog toy 'stuffing' would kill the little bastard.


Not a city folk here and my new Roomba (gift from parents, "we have to take these damn minimum distributions and so we figured we'd share a little") works just fine.


I don't use it in the (150-170 pound) dogs' room, or not yet. But ours have stepped on it going by the charger, to no noticeable ill effects. It ignores large black oak leaves and nails on the floor (though it tends to push them around) , so it would probably ignore your hay. When it fills up, it just goes back to its charger, but it did a good 800 square feet of not-swept-since-thanksgiving (ahem), ground-in rural, our-place-has-no-pavement dirt before it fillled. It also picks up the dried mud cracked out of work boot tread. We don't do stuffed toys with our dogs for reasons that are perhaps obvious given their size.

SeanMC

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #46 on: January 14, 2016, 05:03:29 AM »

To all you people with robots: what happens if a (few) 50lb dogs jump on them...instant yard art?

Obviously meant for city folk: one piece of hay and small chunk of dog toy 'stuffing' would kill the little bastard.

I have a roomba. It moves slower and is sturdier than a lot of people think. Some dogs figure out how not to get bumped into & otherwise aren't really interested in chasing/pouncing. For some dogs, you basically can't run it when they are in the same room. I don't think a one time pounce or "attack" would damage the robot, but I wouldn't let it be habitual.

My dog just had a playmate come over (65-70 lb adolescent retriever) and the other dog pawed/pressed the button to turn the roomba on without any direction or encouragement when they were in the room where it was charging. It was pretty funny. Dog and roomba are fine.

When the bin is full, the roomba goes back to dock, even if it hasn't cleaned "everywhere." I am amazed how much dirt and pet hair it CAN take though. But I wouldn't let it in toy stuffing or anything!

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #47 on: January 14, 2016, 07:37:18 AM »
A Roomba really is fantastic, and if your vacuum is already broken it's not a big marginal cost. Very helpful when teaching a baby to eat. It has a bit of a hard time getting thread out of the carpet when my wife sews, but I'm OK with that.

I wish there were such a thing as a stairs Roomba.

dkaid

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #48 on: January 14, 2016, 09:49:40 AM »
So many great replies, thank you!  One idea that has grabbed my attention is using house cleaning as a work out.  I am a runner currently sidelined with plantar fasciitis so struggling to come up with non impact ways to work out.  I mean can this really be done as a work out?  I've never felt winded while cleaning but if there are ways to do it then I might be game. 

In response to some of the comments... my kids are 10 and 6 so, yes, they can help.  It just, well, it sucks to nag them about one more thing.  I know that sounds lame.  They do already help by doing their laundry, taking out trash, packing lunches and keeping rooms cleaned up. 

I hate cleaning because I don't have great attention to detail so when I'm done it never looks as good as when the cleaners do it. I do like the concept of being able to mentally change my outlook on this as really this applies to some many things in life and is a worthwhile pursuit.  I have that speed cleaning book mentioned and I just never got it down, it wasn't intuitive to me.  In fairness I probably didn't give it a long enough period to learn the techniques. 

The hiring of cleaners is definitely in the category cheaper than divorce.  In our marriage we do have an uneven split of household duties but I've come to accept that as part of the package.  And most of these duties I don't mind- cooking, shopping, tidying are things that come easy for me (unlike the cleaning!).  Interestingly enough when we saw a marriage counselor she suggested we get a house cleaner to take this part of the discord off the table. 

We got a roomba earlier this year as this was a requirement of mine for agreeing to get a dog.... and it does really help a lot.  I rarely have to get the big vacuum out. 

I'm leaning toward trying to switch to once a month cleaning unless I can figure out how to get a work out of the deal.  Our house is 1300 sf, 3 bed, 1.5 baths without a lot of clutter so I don't think it should take that long.  The cleaning team of 2 people is in and out in about 1 hour maybe? 

hoping2retire35

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Re: Please help me get over myself re: house cleaning
« Reply #49 on: January 14, 2016, 10:27:12 AM »
So many great replies, thank you!  One idea that has grabbed my attention is using house cleaning as a work out.  I am a runner currently sidelined with plantar fasciitis so struggling to come up with non impact ways to work out.  I mean can this really be done as a work out?  I've never felt winded while cleaning but if there are ways to do it then I might be game. 

In response to some of the comments... my kids are 10 and 6 so, yes, they can help.  It just, well, it sucks to nag them about one more thing.  I know that sounds lame.  They do already help by doing their laundry, taking out trash, packing lunches and keeping rooms cleaned up. 

I hate cleaning because I don't have great attention to detail so when I'm done it never looks as good as when the cleaners do it. I do like the concept of being able to mentally change my outlook on this as really this applies to some many things in life and is a worthwhile pursuit.  I have that speed cleaning book mentioned and I just never got it down, it wasn't intuitive to me.  In fairness I probably didn't give it a long enough period to learn the techniques. 

The hiring of cleaners is definitely in the category cheaper than divorce.  In our marriage we do have an uneven split of household duties but I've come to accept that as part of the package.  And most of these duties I don't mind- cooking, shopping, tidying are things that come easy for me (unlike the cleaning!).  Interestingly enough when we saw a marriage counselor she suggested we get a house cleaner to take this part of the discord off the table. 

We got a roomba earlier this year as this was a requirement of mine for agreeing to get a dog.... and it does really help a lot.  I rarely have to get the big vacuum out. 

I'm leaning toward trying to switch to once a month cleaning unless I can figure out how to get a work out of the deal.  Our house is 1300 sf, 3 bed, 1.5 baths without a lot of clutter so I don't think it should take that long.  The cleaning team of 2 people is in and out in about 1 hour maybe?

I can get sweaty doing house cleaning for a while, especially in the summer, but to get huffy you have to scrub something with your hands, like the floor, tub or walls.

Something I have noticed when I have been somewhere where there has been a cleaner is that they do not get behind couches or dust things that are up high, etc. So really those hair and dust balls are still there giving your family allergy problems unless you personally take care of it.