Author Topic: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.  (Read 682 times)

ReadySetMillionaire

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Fuck it.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 09:31:27 AM by ReadySetMillionaire »

shuffling_money

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2019, 08:23:56 AM »
I'm lost. Your plan is to pay your MIL $60/week for childcare? Are you absolutely sure MIL wants to do this long term?

ReadySetMillionaire

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2019, 08:32:46 AM »
I'm lost. Your plan is to pay your MIL $60/week for childcare? Are you absolutely sure MIL wants to do this long term?

Sorry for not being clear.

First, in a perfect world, MIL and FIL would not expect any payment at all. They have effectively planned their whole lives around being grandparents, and my wife is their only kid that is still home. The idea of "paying" them is just to help them overcome a bit of a shortfall they may have until social security and other financial issues are more concrete.

Second, the idea is to put funds in place that are available to them. If they need the $9,000 in the savings account, they are welcome to it, it's jointly their money. However, they really are not sure if they will need it, and their ultimate goal is to not need it at all.  It's just a security blanket for them.

therethere

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2019, 09:05:47 AM »
Your plans sound way too intermingled for my comfort zone.It's weirdly parental of you to have a joint savings account with your MIL/FIL. You really think they'd actually feel comfortable pulling money out of it if they actually needed it? I doubt it.

You have plenty of money and savings. Why not just pay them straight up at like 25-50% of daycare rate? I mean, it is your child and they're already graciously watching him for free right now.

Summary: MIL is quitting her job to take a new job of full-time childcare for your child. You want to pay her $60/week (for quitting her job) and hold emergency money (her pay!) in a joint savings account.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 09:09:29 AM by therethere »

Jon Bon

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2019, 09:06:16 AM »
I would not want to get audited in this situation. The $9,000 deposit into a joint account sure sounds shady to me.

I'd just pay them the full 12k and not worry about it. That money will eventually find its way back to you in their estate. Sounds complicated even in the best of circumstances.


ReadySetMillionaire

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2019, 09:17:20 AM »
Just to be clear, the joint savings account was FIL's idea, not mine. Perhaps we should just set it up in their name and, if they want to give it back to us, they can (I am expecting them to use this money).

shuffling_money

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2019, 09:27:57 AM »
Just leave the cash on the table every week and let them do with it as they please?

ReadySetMillionaire

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2019, 09:33:52 AM »
I'm lucky enough that my MIL and FIL do not expect *any* payment for babysitting my son. They do not want to be paid, they do not expect to be paid, they feel incredibly blessed that we live close to them and that they have this opportunity, etc. I thought I made that clear, and since I apparently did not, I clarified multiple times.

The point of the thread was to discuss tax issues and other considerations that we may not have thought about. Of course, the MMM hivemind has come to town to shit on another OP and not discuss what was asked.

I'll just shut it down.

Cheers everyone. We will figure it out.

Jacob F

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2019, 09:37:37 AM »
Also looking at other threads incl. the bathroom remodeling and the 150$ eviction note posting, you seem to have some anger issues. It may be good for you to take things a little easier. Life's there to enjoy. Don't overcomplicate things.

ReadySetMillionaire

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2019, 09:44:27 AM »
Also looking at other threads incl. the bathroom remodeling and the 150$ eviction note posting, you seem to have some anger issues. It may be good for you to take things a little easier. Life's there to enjoy. Don't overcomplicate things.

I'm honestly just getting tired of these forums, so my exasperation is probably coming through.

therethere

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2019, 09:45:10 AM »
Sorry if I came off as rude. I was just trying to simplify the situation so you could look at it from an outside perspective.  Every interaction in the world isn't a math/tax equation. You are blessed in your life with family, a good income, etc. You're in the perfect spot to be less micromanaging with your money, especially with regards to family.

While they may not expect any payment it doesn't mean they don't deserve it if you can afford it. And it's worth it! You said they're the best caretaker around and I bet they are. 

Jacob F

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2019, 09:56:55 AM »
Also looking at other threads incl. the bathroom remodeling and the 150$ eviction note posting, you seem to have some anger issues. It may be good for you to take things a little easier. Life's there to enjoy. Don't overcomplicate things.

I'm honestly just getting tired of these forums, so my exasperation is probably coming through.

I get it :) It's a lot of similar type people that hand out facepunches. Often it's the people that are most like oneself that one doesnt like much if one has too much contact. Plus it's Friday. Good day to you!

charis

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Re: Paying MIL to Watch Our Six Month Old Son -- How Much, Considerations, Etc.
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2019, 10:02:40 AM »
A couple of posters had negative comments, but everyone else made basically the same legitimate comment.  Why wouldn't you just hand her parents a check for babysitting? It's very simple, creates a paper trail for taxes purposes, and they can give the money back to you later if they don't end up using it.  The question of whether they want/need to be "paid" is rather beside the point, since you want the tax benefit and her dad already suggested that you to put money in an account for them.   

People tend to get upset about perpetuating the gender-based pay gap by paying less or nothing for traditional "women's work" (childcare, teaching, etc) in this forum and try to suggest paying a fair wage to a family member who volunteers to provide child care, whether they want the money or not.  It's a fair point, even in a world where many grandparents would/do love the privilege of watching their grandchildren and refuse any payment (such as my own).  But I find that it's usually brought up by those whose parents have never offered that or could never imagine doing it themselves.  Nonetheless, it's important to be introspective and consider why we don't want to hear the message (hint, it costs less).
« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 10:04:35 AM by charis »