Hey Mustachians!
After writing this huge post, I added a TL;DR at the bottom. Update in blue-I wanted to wait to update my post when I had good news. I really appreciate all of the recommendations and support! I was on the fence feeling like I was asking for too much.
My paternity care leave was accepted as requested! I will be taking at least 1 week at birth (gave a heads up that this could be longer if we have a complicated birth/C-section) and once my wife returns to work I will work half time for 2 months allowing the baby to stay home for 5 months before starting infant care.
It has been a super hectic last few months; we completed my leave request/application/meeting with management, secured a daycare spot at a great place, and I officially have a term life insurance policy. I'm debating on starting a Vanguard 529 this month, but know that I should finish filling up our E-fund and work on my SL first. I mentioned how I was worried that this may negatively affect my growth professionally, so I started working on a credential in November (wouldn't test for it until April) that would greatly increase my marketability/hopefully affirm my value to the org.
I'm really glad we decided for me to push for my original plan-it sets the precedent with management that family is the the top priority and will hopefully make taking future paternity leaves easier for me/and hopefully my colleagues. Because it will basically amount to half time, I will definitely have enough PTO, so the entire thing will be paid. I'm stoked to spend the end of summer with the baby!
Looking for any input/tips/advice or maybe just some encouragement with taking paternity leave. My wife and I are very excited that our family is growing this spring and are far enough along now that we felt comfortable telling our employers, and are starting to navigate leave.
Background: We are both younger professionals a few years into our careers- my wife has been with her company nearly 3 years and I have been with mine for just over a year. She plans on taking the full 12 weeks offered through FMLA, and I would like to take 6-10 weeks. She will receive 6 weeks at 60% pay and I receive zero paid weeks and am required to use PTO before taking unpaid time. I work the typical Mon-Fri grind and she works 12 hour shifts.
I developed a plan where I would take ~1 week completely off at birth, return to work, and then take the bulk of my leave when she returns to work. Partly to reduce the burden on my employer and partly to reduce the burden on our budget, I would like to take my leave as reduced hours-basically only working the days she can stay home with the baby. This would put me at half time and I have enough PTO to make up the difference and allow me to take 8 weeks at (50%) reduced hours. This would have the least impact on our budget, and allow us to keep our new baby home for 5 vs 3 months.
We have the means for me to take the time completely off, but with our staffing model I thought that going half time would allow me to stay up to speed, make things less difficult for my direct supervisor, and have a lesser impact on our finances. I brought this plan to my supervisor last week and he approached the department director about it today. The director felt that taking off a block of time would be better, but strongly recommended that I contact HR because the director had concerns that it wouldn't be possible/wouldn't be protected leave (as the dad.)
I felt like I was getting a bit of push back on this-though after contacting HR (who assured me what I'd like to do is FMLA/protected and possible) my supervisor did say he thinks it will work and will speak with the director (I've seen him play good cop and the director play bad cop, though..). I'm worried now that while I'm within my rights to request a leave, that it could hurt me professionally. I don't love working, but this is a good position and I would really like to stay here until FIRE (>10 more years.) I've tried casually chatting with other guys roughly my age with kids and they took like a week off when their kids were born. I know a big part of that is finances and I'm hoping that the odd looks are due to them wondering how we could handle the pay cut, but part of me is freaking out that I could get fired for something minor or sent to a crappy "equivalent" position with the org. I've had negative experiences in the past with management (not at this company) and scheduling and as a result get really fired up about PTO/scheduling. If it matters, I have only used ~30 hours PTO (including Holidays) in the 14 months I've been with this company and have accrued ~170.
TL;DR
Having a baby, requested long(ish?) paternity leave, looked at like I have 3 heads, and scared there will be retaliation. Could also just be overanalyzing...