Parents have NO life insurance!!

[suzziesnow]

My BF just lost her dad a month ago, only to find out that he had no life insurance. She and her sister are stuck with a funeral bill that they have to make payments on.
On that note I asked my parents about life insurance. Turns out they don't have ANY!! Both my parents are were disabled and are now old enough to collect Social Security. They live on a small amount monthly (no savings or investments). They said it got to expensive so they dropped it (but didn't tell us kids). My sisters don't want to chip in to try and get them a small policy. I will be honest that  both parents are in terrible health. I don't know what I should do but I can see me be responsible for the costs bc sisters don't/won't pay for anything. Any suggestions?

[snogirl]

My mom & dad busted their ass to raise me. My father passed dying at 61 and miss him every day. My mom is 84 now making it on her own. I do as much as I can for her. If I had to pay for her funeral I would do it in a heartbeat.

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[Boofinator]

I agree with snogirl. Unfortunately some parents are not fiscally responsible enough to cover their funeral bills at the end. I would forgive them and cover the expense under 'unfortunate necessity'. Because otherwise, what happens? (Do they get cremated by the state or something?)

[I'm a red panda]

I'd just keep funeral expenses minimal, they don't have to be extravagant.

Life insurance if they are old and I'll health will cost a fortune

[suzziesnow]

I didn't mean to come off as being ungrateful for what my folks have done for me. Yes, it is not their faults (although I wish they would've told me they didn't pay their life insurance or didn't have the money).  Do you think it would be wrong for me alone to take a policy out on them or at least pay for it? How would I go about doing this? I am just looking to pay for their last requests. Nothing more.

[Zaga]

If it were me I would just start putting a bit aside each month to pay for what's coming.  We did that for my grandmother, don't regret paying for her funeral for a minute!

[I'm a red panda]

I didn't mean to come off as being ungrateful for what my folks have done for me. Yes, it is not their faults (although I wish they would've told me they didn't pay their life insurance or didn't have the money).  Do you think it would be wrong for me alone to take a policy out on them or at least pay for it? How would I go about doing this? I am just looking to pay for their last requests. Nothing more.

I think it is likely the insurance would cost so much, it makes more sense to just save for the funeral.

[englishteacheralex]

If they're in terrible health they can't get insurance. If they aren't supporting anyone with their income they don't need life insurance. If all you're worried about is the funeral, just start saving some money every month to cover it for them. Talk to your siblings about doing the same. A funeral doesn't have to cost that much.

[wenchsenior]

I didn't mean to come off as being ungrateful for what my folks have done for me. Yes, it is not their faults (although I wish they would've told me they didn't pay their life insurance or didn't have the money).  Do you think it would be wrong for me alone to take a policy out on them or at least pay for it? How would I go about doing this? I am just looking to pay for their last requests. Nothing more.

Lots of people don't have traditional life insurance, and those that do have it often drop it after dependents are out of the house.  No one on my mother's side of the family has any, including my mother (which puts me in the same  position as you, were she to die) and my two sisters.   Insurance can be expensive, and if people believe their spouse or partner can get by after their death or they don't have dependents, it doesn't make sense to carry it.

I am not certain, but I believe you might be able to buy very small, limited insurance policies that cover only burial/funeral, so you might want to investigate that.  My grandmother had something like this, and my mother has occasionally talked about looking into it.  Alternatively, just start putting aside money in advance for it (which is what I'm doing).

[terran]

Life insurance is a good deal when you're young, healthy, and the risk of you dying is unacceptable for the people you're care about and are responsible for. A wage earner with children and/or a fully or partially dependent significant other should definitely get term life insurance because it's fairly inexpensive, and they have no other way to provide the large benefit that the life insurance can offer.

On the other hand, life insurance will either be unavailable for unacceptably expensive for people who are old and sick and isn't worth it if the risk of their death is something the people the life insurance would help can afford. Insurance companies are in business to make money, so they're not going to offer lose money by offering large payouts to people who are statistically likely to die soon. The amount it would cost to get a fairly small insurance payout is likely better saved to cover the funeral expenses. Anyone telling you otherwise is probably trying to sell you whole life insurance which is almost always a bad deal compared to buying term life insurance when appropriate and available and investing the savings.

Edit: here's a video I ran across awhile ago (probably on this forum) that might help put your mind at ease: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzrTl3kYHBE -- I didn't rewatch it, but if memory serves she says a no frills cremation should cost under $1000 all in.

[Boofinator]

I didn't mean to come off as being ungrateful for what my folks have done for me. Yes, it is not their faults (although I wish they would've told me they didn't pay their life insurance or didn't have the money).  Do you think it would be wrong for me alone to take a policy out on them or at least pay for it? How would I go about doing this? I am just looking to pay for their last requests. Nothing more.

Insurance is for emergency scenarios that would cause an unacceptable loss should the unthinkable happen. For example, I carry homeowner insurance since it would be pretty tough to come back from my house burning down (and I'm required to by law). I do not have insurance for, to use an example, my washer and dryer, since it wouldn't be too painful to have to replace them. Remember, insurance companies are making money off of insured people (on average), so they are going to price your parents' life insurance accordingly (they have actuarial tables for old and sick people, and you are not going to be happy with that bill).

I don't think funeral expenses fit into the insurable category for a typical Mustachian, unless it would really break the bank to have to cover them.

[Paradise]

I agree with the posters who have suggested setting aside money for the funeral(s) and burial(s). Depending upon your family circumstances, you may wish to initiate a conversation with your parents sooner rather than later about their wishes - perhaps in the presence of all of the siblings. Your sibs may be more on board with committing to split funeral/burial expenses if they personally hear that mom and dad can't contribute and/or actually learning what your mom and dad want to happen after their death(s). Also, it might not hurt to chat with a local funeral director or two to get an idea of typical expenses to help guide any discussion.

And, perhaps most important, if your dad and/or mom is a veteran, they can receive free burials at one of our nation's many lovely and dignified veteran's cemeteries. A burial plot (or niche for ashes in a columbarium), and marker stone are provided for veterans and their spouses at no cost. This may save your family the cost of the burials, so all you and your sibs would need to cover would be funeral expenses.

[Syonyk]

Any suggestions?

A small earmark in your savings account for a couple grand worth of funeral costs.

I don't understand why one would expect parents on a fixed income with no dependents to have life insurance.  Seems a bit silly as far as expenses.

[Milizard]

Life insurance is for dependents.  Are you still a dependent?  Then don't worry about it.  Funerals are also for the living left behind.  Are you okay with cremation?  That's much cheaper.  There's also donating bodies to science.  I had a cousin who did that, not because of financial problems, that was just the kind of guy he was. 

[fuzzy math]

Social security is paid a month in arrears so my understanding is that their final check can go towards funeral expenses. Theres also a $250 SS death benefit. If youre good with cremation you may not owe much.


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[Ricksun]

Agree with most of the earlier posters!  Insurance companies aren't in the habit of losing money. You're better off self-funding at this point and controlling costs where you can.

Ricksun

[Hula Hoop]

I agree with the earlier posters.  Why would an elderly person with no dependents get life insurance?  If you are worried about funeral costs just save a bit each month - maybe suggest that your siblings chip in something too.  Life insurance is a terrible deal for an old sick person with no dependents.


The only reason my husband and I have life insurance is because we have small children.  If one of us died, it would be tough for either of us to support the kids and pay for the necessary babysitters and after school care on one income alone.  Once they are a bit older and out of the house, we'll drop it.  We don't plan to financially support our kids into adulthood - at a certain point we hope that they become financially independent from us - so life insurance will no longer be necessary.

[erutio]

Life insurance isn't for funeral costs.  It's really for dependents.

[AccidentalMiser]

I agree with the earlier posters.  Why would an elderly person with no dependents get life insurance?  If you are worried about funeral costs just save a bit each month - maybe suggest that your siblings chip in something too.  Life insurance is a terrible deal for an old sick person with no dependents.


The only reason my husband and I have life insurance is because we have small children.  If one of us died, it would be tough for either of us to support the kids and pay for the necessary babysitters and after school care on one income alone.  Once they are a bit older and out of the house, we'll drop it.  We don't plan to financially support our kids into adulthood - at a certain point we hope that they become financially independent from us - so life insurance will no longer be necessary.

This.  As soon as I quit my job, I'll drop my life insurance like a bad habit!  Life insurance is ONLY for dependent care or to compensate for the loss of an income in some way.  This isn't your case.  As others have noted, life insurance costs for old, sick people will likely be astronomical.  Save a little extra for funeral expenses and quit worrying about life insurance for your parents. 

Have you gotten any quotes for a policy?  It would help to know what the numbers are.  If it's twenty bucks a month for 10k worth of insurance, then I can see doing it for funeral expenses and stuff.  Otherwise, you likely have more important things to worry about.

[Greystache]

Have you talked to your parents about their funeral arrangements? What are their expectations. My wife and I recently updated our estate planning documents. As part of that process, we sat down with our adult kids and went over where to find all of our documents, account numbers, passwords, etc. We also discussed our funeral wishes. In our case, we wanted our organs and tissues to be donated if possible and our bodies to be disposed of in the most economical way possible. If your parents want a more expensive funeral, start setting aside money now.  But at least have the discussion. Don't wait until they die and make decision based on grief.

[BeanCounter]

DO NOT BUY LIFE INSURANCE FOR THEM. That makes NO sense.
The best thing you could do if possible is encourage them to work with you to plan their funeral. It's so, so much cheaper if you purchase what is desired for funeral, and cremation/burial ahead of time. And cremation is far, far cheaper than traditional burial.
My mother donated her body to a medical school. She will be cremated when she is done with her "study" and her cremains will be placed in the University's memorial garden. Cost to me is $0.00. But it is something that has to be planned well in advance by the person who would be donating their body and their family. It's not for everyone, but it does help the medical school.

[AccidentalMiser]

DO NOT BUY LIFE INSURANCE FOR THEM. That makes NO sense.
The best thing you could do if possible is encourage them to work with you to plan their funeral. It's so, so much cheaper if you purchase what is desired for funeral, and cremation/burial ahead of time. And cremation is far, far cheaper than traditional burial.
My mother donated her body to a medical school. She will be cremated when she is done with her "study" and her cremains will be placed in the University's memorial garden. Cost to me is $0.00. But it is something that has to be planned well in advance by the person who would be donating their body and their family. It's not for everyone, but it does help the medical school.

Best advice on this thread.

[Noodle]

DO NOT BUY LIFE INSURANCE FOR THEM. That makes NO sense.
The best thing you could do if possible is encourage them to work with you to plan their funeral. It's so, so much cheaper if you purchase what is desired for funeral, and cremation/burial ahead of time. And cremation is far, far cheaper than traditional burial.
My mother donated her body to a medical school. She will be cremated when she is done with her "study" and her cremains will be placed in the University's memorial garden. Cost to me is $0.00. But it is something that has to be planned well in advance by the person who would be donating their body and their family. It's not for everyone, but it does help the medical school.

Totally agree. One of the things that makes funerals so expensive is when the deceased doesn't indicate what they want, and then the family has to try to guess, at the same time they are grieving and wanting to honor the deceased in the best possible way, and a lot of people have opinions (especially if they are spending someone else's money.) Even if the kids are paying the bills, not having to make all those decisions at a difficult time is a wonderful gift to the survivors.

[Dicey]

And, perhaps most important, if your dad and/or mom is a veteran, they can receive free burials at one of our nation's many lovely and dignified veteran's cemeteries. A burial plot (or niche for ashes in a columbarium), and marker stone are provided for veterans and their spouses at no cost. This may save your family the cost of the burials, so all you and your sibs would need to cover would be funeral expenses.

My parents did this, too. As a veteran's spouse, mom was entitled to the same thing. They're in-urned (en-urned?) together at a lovely Veteran's Cemetery.

[GizmoTX]

As others have said, life insurance is an expensive way to cover funeral expenses, especially for the elderly.

My brother recently lost his spouse to a hemorrhagic stroke. He opted for immediate cremation which cost $400 & had a simple church service for $200. We’ll do the same for him when he passes, then inter both cremains together in a family plot. A cousin’s cremains were put into a salt block container & released into a lake since he was an avid fisherman.

[Laserjet3051]

For all that our parents have done to raise (most) of us, busting their collective asses for decades, not to mention those difficult newborn/toddler years, etc. etc, the very LEAST we can do to repay our gratitude is cover their end of life funeral/burial costs. IMHO, this wouldnt even come close to giving an equivalent to what they have given to us.

[GettingClose]

We've had three deaths in the past few years in our family.  The cremation in all cases was less than $1200, including a container for the ashes.  We had a small memorial service outdoors in each case, and buried the ashes in a meaningful place.

The family is financially stable, and we could have easily covered the $8-10k required for a standard embalming, casket, funeral home service, burial, etc., but none of the deceased wanted that, and it wouldn't have eased our grief in any way.

[ReadySetMillionaire]

I didn't mean to come off as being ungrateful for what my folks have done for me. Yes, it is not their faults (although I wish they would've told me they didn't pay their life insurance or didn't have the money).  Do you think it would be wrong for me alone to take a policy out on them or at least pay for it? How would I go about doing this? I am just looking to pay for their last requests. Nothing more.

A lot of people are respectfully talking around this in this thread, but I think you really need to read up on life insurance, because it sounds like you aren't familiar with what it's even for (to provide money for *dependents* if you croak). 

I not only think your parents are fine not having life insurance, I think it would be batshit insane if they did.  Perhaps they could have earmarked some for their death-related expenses, but it sounds like they are disabled and do not have those means. Your thread title and original post indicate that you are shocked and incredulous that they don't have life insurance, which is alarming to me given the facts as you've described them.

I really, really hope you didn't get stuck with some silly whole life policy on yourself.

[bognish]

My credit union offers a free $10,000 life insurance policy to members. Maybe check around to see if they have something similar. Sounds like you only need something small to cover a funeral and wind down their affairs.

[wenchsenior]

My credit union offers a free $10,000 life insurance policy to members. Maybe check around to see if they have something similar. Sounds like you only need something small to cover a funeral and wind down their affairs.

Oh, yes!  Ours does that as well.  I didn't even think of that.

[Cassie]

My husband is a veteran so we will be interred for free at a veteran's cemetery. Cremation her is 500 and a decent urn is 200.

[SKL-HOU]

I come from a different culture but I really don't understand the thought process of people who think parents should leave enough money for their own funeral expenses. As their kids, that is the least you can do. Besides how much does a funeral cost? 10k? 20k at the most, if that? if you want to take out a life insurance policy for that amount, I can't imagine it being very expensive.

[socaso]

As others have suggested, you can talk to your parents about their wishes and then you can schedule an appointment with a reputable funeral home. My husband's mother prepurchased her final arrangements (plot, coffin, headstone, etc) and I believe some places offer payment plans. That way if your parents feel strongly about wanted to be buried a certain way they can make their own choices and perhaps they can contribute some towards it. Maybe you do a 50/50 split with them of the payments? Maybe siblings or other family members can contribute something?

[Cassie]

Everyone in our family leaves enough behind to pay for their own funeral.

[LaineyAZ]

Social security is paid a month in arrears so my understanding is that their final check can go towards funeral expenses. Theres also a $250 SS death benefit. If youre good with cremation you may not owe much.

That $250 death benefit is only paid to the surviving spouse, so adult children would not receive anything.

[I'm a red panda]

Everyone in our family leaves enough behind to pay for their own funeral.

Wouldn't that be ideal.  It's clearly not the case for the OP who says that her parents have no savings.

[Prairie Stash]

Everyone in our family leaves enough behind to pay for their own funeral.

Wouldn't that be ideal.  It's clearly not the case for the OP who says that her parents have no savings.

My parents have no savings, I will be selling their $2000 car to cover the funeral of the last one alive.

Some people truly have no assets either, but the OP wasn't too clear on that part. TV, jewellry, books; even the kitchen dishes get sold. A lot of people without savings still have assets, just not the kind we normally associate with investment value. The bigger problem is if they have debt that chews up the assets.

[Cassie]

Depending on what day of the month the person died their last SS check may need to go back. We had this happen.  Talk to your parents and see if they have a plan on how to handle this.

[I'm a red panda]

Everyone in our family leaves enough behind to pay for their own funeral.

Wouldn't that be ideal.  It's clearly not the case for the OP who says that her parents have no savings.

My parents have no savings, I will be selling their $2000 car to cover the funeral of the last one alive.

Some people truly have no assets either, but the OP wasn't too clear on that part. TV, jewellry, books; even the kitchen dishes get sold. A lot of people without savings still have assets, just not the kind we normally associate with investment value. The bigger problem is if they have debt that chews up the assets.

My aunt died in debt. Everything she owned got sold to pay towards that.  Her sister's and children weren't even able to take anything from her house to remember her by without paying for it. 

Her children (one of whom is very wealthy, the other who is doing OK) paid for her funeral.

[BeanCounter]

Just some other things to think about since I JUST went through all of this with the passing of my mother in January-
 If at all possible have everything arranged so that you can avoid probate. I think this is especially important for those with very little in assets. It would seriously suck to spend $300-$1,000 to go to probate and open an estate over a few thousand dollars.
This can be done by the following-
The bank accounts can be POD, the investment accounts can be TOD, the home or any property should have a TOD on the deed, the car title should be TOD (in some states this is not needed if the beneficiary is a spouse). ALL and I mean ALL insurance policies (including health) should have a beneficiary listed because there may be claim refunds after death. The one thing that caused me grief after my mother passed was an AFLAC policy where they did not list me as a beneficiary. I was able to get an affidavit of no estate but it was a pain, had I been listed as a beneficiary they would have quickly made a check out to me.
My mother's estate was >$1M and I processed it all without probate in less than three months because she had set everything up to transfer to me. (helps that I am an only child)

So to the OP- you don't need life insurance, you just need to do some simple estate planning.

[marion10]

My mother (in her 80s) had a $30,000 life insurance policy- I don't remember how much the premiums were - but at her age, they were substantial. She  was carrying it  to so she could leave the 3 of us a little "something". We convinced her to cancel it- we'd rather she use the money now. We'll pay for the funeral ourselves when the time comes.

[RetiredAt63]

I had my life insurance through work, but when I retired I didn't get anything to replace it.  I have assets, I have income, no one is depending on me or going to be financially hurt when I die.  So why would I need life insurance?

If someone were in debt (i.e. still carrying a mortgage) in retirement then life insurance would make sense.  Funerals can be prepaid if the person wants to know their funeral arrangements are taken care of (my parents did that).

Of course this all takes planning, and some people aren't planners.

[LaineyAZ]

I second the idea of checking with the credit union, if the parents have an account at someplace like this. 
When I opened my account I got an automatic life insurance amount of $1,000 for free.  I then took their option for additional life insurance in the amount of $50,000 which is reduced to $25,000 when I turn 70, all for only about $5/month.  Plenty of money for a burial and a small leftover sum for my only heir.

[FIREsigns]

Anyone can buy an insurance policy on someone else. You can look into getting a small one ($5-10k) that will provide for your share of their funeral costs. I recommend term insurance as the most affordable option. Check out www.sbli.com (Savings Bank Life Insurance.

Cost will be based upon their ages. If it's too expensive for you,  your other option is to create a line item in your budget and put aside an amount you can manage each month in anticipation of this inevitable expense.

[Dr.Jeckyl]

If they're in terrible health they can't get insurance. If they aren't supporting anyone with their income they don't need life insurance. If all you're worried about is the funeral, just start saving some money every month to cover it for them. Talk to your siblings about doing the same. A funeral doesn't have to cost that much.

This is the way that I have thought about life insurance. It is to provide for people that depend on your income. Too many people think that it's to cover final expenses. Honestly, I think that if you are fiscally responsible you should have enough to cover your final expenses in a bank account or the money can be recouped once all the assets are sold off like a car or home.

[HipGnosis]

Final arrangement wishes are just empty wishes unless they are funded.

Life insurance is for dependants of people without positive net worth.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal to buy life insurance for someone and be a/the beneficiary.

To save on final arrangements; join a memorial society - here's an article on them (with links) https://clark.com/family-lifestyle/save-on-funeral-cremation-memorial-society/

[Cassie]

It’s not illegal to buy life insurance for someone and  be the beneficiary. At your parents age they won’t sell it with out physical and blood work, etc.  Since cremation is cheap just go that route.