The Money Mustache Community

Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: COlady on September 28, 2015, 11:20:41 AM

Title: Parent PLUS Loans
Post by: COlady on September 28, 2015, 11:20:41 AM
My nanny (we'll call her Carolyn) is 27 years old and is great with my 7 month old twins. She works 35 hours per week for me and is going to school online for her Bachelor's in early childhood education. She seems stressed lately so I asked her if everything is okay.  I know she lives with her parents due to financial hardship due to illness.  She said her household is toxic and it's causing her a great deal of stress. Last night she was up most of the night because the cops came to the house because her 16 year old sister told a friend she was going to commit suicide. I asked her why she doesn't get a roommate and move out now that she has her health issues under control. She said she has to pay her mom $500 per month towards a $60,000!!!! Parent PLUS loan her mom took out when she was 18 to go to Culinary Arts School in Vegas. She obviously isn't a highly paid chef now. She also has to pay her mom a few hundred a month for rent. 

My understanding is that this loan only affects her mother's credit and not hers if it isn't paid. She said she's trying to get a part of the loan forgiven through Obama's forgiveness program...I don't know anything about that. I feel bad for her.  I know on one hand she's responsible for the debt as she went to the program, etc. but her mom, being the adult shouldn't have taken out a $60,000 loan that she cannot afford to pay back!!!! It sounds like her mom is emotionally abusive to her too and is holding this loan over her head as kind of a failed type thing.

Opinions? Who's fault is this? 50/50? More hers? More her mom's? I can't even imagine being in that situation with my parents....
Title: Re: Parent PLUS Loans
Post by: Emg03063 on September 28, 2015, 07:11:54 PM
I empathize, but I think if the situation bothers you enough to post about it on a forum, you're probably a little too emotionally invested in your nanny's personal life, and need to take a step back and keep your interactions with her to a more professional level.  Assigning blame for her financial situation is impossible to do without knowing more about her personal relationship with her mom than any employer with an appropriate set of boundaries should.  I can't imagine any possible circumstance in which the answer to that question should have any effect on your life or your employer/nanny relationship.  If her emotional state isn't affecting her work with your kids, say you're sorry to hear that, and change the subject.  MAYBE refer her to the forum.  If it is, you have a hard choice to make about whether or not you want to keep her on, but unless you're interested in addressing her situation by offering her a live-in position, I think your ability to influence the situation is probably pretty limited.