Started with $80K in debt (mortgage not included) and wanted to put together a plan for the future. I began to prioritize my spending to align with MY life goals--not my parents or distant family, not my friends, neighbors, and coworkers, not Dave Ramsey or MMM, and certainly not the folks on this or other forums I frequent. I'm comfortable sharing "ideas" for learning, but I learned quickly that we don't always share the same "ideals." For example, I paid off the debt in short order without a severe lifestyle crunch--my children were in private school, my younger son got braces, I junked two old cars and bought a more reliable used car for cash, we went skiing a couple times, we bought several items related to our family's various hobbies, etc. I could have shaved a year off the payoff period by putting my kids in the reputable public schools in my neighborhood but chose not to for reasons that are completely satisfactory to my wife and me. Instead I did buy bikes for our family, eat out less often, and watch the weekly unplanned dollar-by-dollar leakage more carefully.
I've never paid for cable TV, cellphone data plans, new TVs, new video game systems, expensive clothes, fancy cars, or exorbitant housing, so those weren't issues anyway. However, I have paid quite a bit over the years for hobbies for the entire family. In short, I identified what was important to us and put our money there--eating out, not important but a well-used but professional-grade keyboard in the music room, important. We've bought the things we like, quit spending so much on the things that didn't matter, and saved a lot of money as a result.
Optimal Spending = Minimized Required Spending + Minimized Lifestyle Spending + Unavoidable Emergency Spending
We identified the first two inputs for our family, planned a cushion to absorb the possible variance of emergencies, and arrived at our level of Optimal Spending--about 50-55% of our income for the last several years. When we had debt, we put most of the balance towards debt payoff. Once the debt was gone, we began to put that money to work. This plan has worked for us. I'm the most financially conservative person in my family, in my workplace, in my church, and in my circle of friends. I get basic questions from coworkers, family members, and friends almost every month. I'm happy with my life now, and I plan to be happy when I retire. Hopefully, you can find that place as well.