Do you think he and his wife would respect boundaries and treat the house as YOUR house after the sale, or might they consider you the custodian of THEIR house, if that makes sense?
My dad and I have a great relationship, and I have zero concerns that this would be an issue. He was very enthusiastic about keeping this house in the family, and I think that means significantly more to him than me changing a few things.
Do you have siblings? Because if so, you need to be sure they are on board with this arrangement too, both from a financial and sentimental viewpoint.
My twin brother is 1,000,000% on board and may even live with us for a bit. My older brother may be a bit bothered by it, but he just bought a house and is moving in about two weeks from now.
If you don't currently have children, buying a house that is much larger on the idea that kids are gonna fill it might be a bad move. Sometimes kids don't happen or as many kids as you planned end up not being the plan 1 kid in. Then you're stuck rattling around a giant space that you will either fill with junk or feeling terrible about "what might have been." Don't lock yourself into a large investment on the chances of a "maybe someday" type of thing.
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Why does he want to sell? Is it just too large for him now?
Dad wants to move because he's 64 and doesn't at all need a 2,500 square foot house. He's looking to downsize.
I appreciate your point about family planning. We don't have any kids yet but are hoping for two. But, this transaction isn't going to happen immediately. I think it would happen in about two years. By then we should have a better idea about things.
Bottom line, make extra-super sure that your wife is totally and completely fine with this idea, because the whole "buying the childhood home" and all the baggage that comes with it may mean she feels it will never really be her home if y'all aren't on the same page. Sure, you're super into the idea, your dad likely would be happy, but she needs to be totally comfortable too and not just talked into it. Not saying that is the situation at all, but again, just an outsider's view of things you may not think of initially.
I'm glad you brought this up. I actually witnessed this first-hand when my dad re-married. His wife moved in and was never comfortable until they basically changed every last thing in the house.
Having witnessed it, I certainly will give my wife a lot of liberty. She's very low-maintenance anyway, but she loves the house and is excited about the opportunity. That said, the basement (just like our current house) is my domain.
A couple of questions that you need to ask yourself. First is do you want to move? Stated a different way prior to this conversation did you and your wife have any plans to move? Is the house in and area you would want to live in and what does it do to your commute time.
Also do you fit comfortably in your current house? Any kids or plans to have kids? My wife and I lived in a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom 1,000 sqft condo with two kids for a while. It was a little tight but doable.
I think you need to figure out if you have a need to move. If you are happy with where you are at and don't see a need to get a bigger place then I would probably pass.
Dad's house is about a mile from my current house, same school district. My wife and I weren't planning on moving, but we were planning on eventually building a home addition. She's adamant about wanting more space due to the way she grew up in very tight quarters.
I really appreciate all the feedback so far. Biggest takeaway so far is making sure I'm not taking advantage of my relationship with my dad and my wife, especially my wife. She's the greatest and I will make sure she's on board with everything before we make any final decisions.