Yes, but...make sure you put a cap on what you are willing to pay for the college kid. (Like offer to pay for the cost of your in-state state university if it's any good...or the equivalent. You don't want to be paying for Harvard or something like that.) In terms of your other ideas, I think that is great...to pick up reasonable wedding costs someday, or to maybe pitch in for their house down payment. Or maybe the four-year college graduate's gift would be a new car. But I wouldn't announce these things. They don't need to know that that kind of generosity is in the pipeline. I would be very vague when they ask why you are going back to a FT job. Something like, "Oh, I just thought it would afford your mom and I a little more flexibility in the future." That way, too, if it is too much for you--and frankly, it does sound like a lot--the PT and FT both--if you need to rein back, you have not set anybody up for disappointment. Or for expecting and counting on something and then possibly not getting it. Worst case scenario, you need the money yourself for some dire reason. At least you would have it, and nobody would get mad at you and feel short-sheeted.
This is good stuff, along the lines of what I need. I may decide "fuck this job", who knows. It's good not to set expectations too high. Maybe I'll just say I'm going back to FT to pay for a kayak, which I've always wanted.
Do you really like work? Why aren't you full-time already?
"already" is the wrong word. I've been FT and am now semi retired. I have to work, but PT does the job, so to speak. I probably wouldn't like the job a lot, but I can do anything for a couple of years.
I'm also wondering why the kids' biological parents didn't do any saving and investing in advance for college expenses? And why you should be on the spot for their failure to plan ahead?
Bio parents did the best they could with the skills they have. In one case, those are pretty crappy skills, indeed. I don't feel the need to punish the kids for the parents' lack of planning. I'm not "on the spot", I just am in a position to maybe do something for the kids. No one's asked, and no one has any clue I'm considering this.
I wouldn't do it, myself. If the kids were mature, careful, and responsible about money, maybe I'd find a way to chip a little in. But under the circumstances ...
This is tough. It's not really their fault they haven't been taught anything. I want the best for them, though. It's a pickle.
There may be some lasting good with regards to the last two years of college, but not with paying for weddings or houses.
Well, I'd only give them 10k or so for the wedding, and 10k for a house. Just enough to make life a little less stressful, but not enough to sit on their asses.
There's plenty of resources to get people to embrace financial well being.
Dave Ramsey is one.
I'm not sure how to get them to read anything. They aren't predisposed to this stuff, the older one and bf particularly. Again, my own kid picked up all this stuff from me in his youth, but these kids are adults. I kind of had an idea about buying them YNAB and incentivizing it quarterly, but I don't want to be that involved in their finances. I don't want to buy it if they won't use it, though.