Author Topic: Opinion on living at home?  (Read 4109 times)

grosvenor6

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Opinion on living at home?
« on: January 07, 2016, 10:45:20 AM »
I just want to see what people thought about living at home and the pros/cons of it.  I am currently living at home only having to pay my car payment and insurance, which lets my savings rate be about 80%.  I have a setup where I basically have my own apartment in an attached area of the house with everything I need.  My grandparents aren't believers of charging family money but I still help pay for groceries from time to time.  I am able to contribute 6% to my 401k and the 5500 a year to a Roth IRA while saving about 1200 a month towards a down payment for a house.  Does my situation seem reasonable and should I keep doing it until I have enough for my own place? 

oldladystache

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2016, 11:14:17 AM »
If you more than carry your weight, and make it more pleasant for your grandparents, I'm all for it. If not, then not.

Do you mow the lawn, shovel snow, wash dishes, make pleasant conversation, run errands, etc?


grosvenor6

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2016, 11:19:38 AM »
If you more than carry your weight, and make it more pleasant for your grandparents, I'm all for it. If not, then not.

Do you mow the lawn, shovel snow, wash dishes, make pleasant conversation, run errands, etc?



Yes I do as much as I can to help out.  I do all the things you listed as well as take care of their cars when they need fixing, always make sure we have a good amount of firewood in the house for burning,  They have roughly 8 years left on the mortgage and they have plans to move back to the country where they came from so if all works out well and I stick around for long enough I could possibly end up with their house for very cheap.

elaine amj

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2016, 11:24:42 AM »
I'm all about being practical and living at home if the situation warrants it. Until he was 30 (when we got married and I moved in), DH lived at home with his grandma and his mother looking after his every need - they paid utils, groceries, provided breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc etc etc. Classic spoiled kid lol. Instead, he was responsible and assisted his mom and grandma in tasks they preferred not to do (he handled all their banking, ran whatever errands were needed, etc). And had no issues being an independent, mature adult.

Living at home all those years with barely any expenses meant that he had an impressive savings rate, which made starting our lives together extremely smooth and easy. I'm extremely happy he had no desire/need to assert his independence by moving out.

That said, most Americans highly value living on your own. So ymmv.

Gondolin

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2016, 11:36:57 AM »
Living at home while working is probably the best and easiest way to get your compounding stache snowball rolling.

Living at home gets a bad rap because many people move back in with family under duress (can't find work) or are lazy slugs with enabling parents. However, for the enterprising youth looking to have a house payment or their first $100k invested early, living at home can REALLY speed up the process.

I've been working and living on my own for 2.5 years. In that time I calculate I've spent ~$24000 in rent. If I could have saved even half of that by living at home, I would have.

Obviously, much depends on your relationship with your family but, it sounds like you have an ideal situation.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2016, 11:39:25 AM by Gondolin »

Frankies Girl

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2016, 11:38:24 AM »
If you more than carry your weight, and make it more pleasant for your grandparents, I'm all for it. If not, then not.

Do you mow the lawn, shovel snow, wash dishes, make pleasant conversation, run errands, etc?



Yes I do as much as I can to help out.  I do all the things you listed as well as take care of their cars when they need fixing, always make sure we have a good amount of firewood in the house for burning,  They have roughly 8 years left on the mortgage and they have plans to move back to the country where they came from so if all works out well and I stick around for long enough I could possibly end up with their house for very cheap.

The only issues are when one party feels taken advantage of, or worrying about the social stigma that sometimes comes from an adult living with family members (which should not be a factor if everyone is happy - grown adults can live with room mates and not be judged, so why the stigma with a room mate arrangement that happens to be with family?).

If you're fine and they're fine (and it sounds like the situation is mutually beneficial) then there is no problem as far as I see.

So I say keep doing what you're doing. :)

grosvenor6

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2016, 11:47:52 AM »
If you more than carry your weight, and make it more pleasant for your grandparents, I'm all for it. If not, then not.

Do you mow the lawn, shovel snow, wash dishes, make pleasant conversation, run errands, etc?



Yes I do as much as I can to help out.  I do all the things you listed as well as take care of their cars when they need fixing, always make sure we have a good amount of firewood in the house for burning,  They have roughly 8 years left on the mortgage and they have plans to move back to the country where they came from so if all works out well and I stick around for long enough I could possibly end up with their house for very cheap.

The only issues are when one party feels taken advantage of, or worrying about the social stigma that sometimes comes from an adult living with family members (which should not be a factor if everyone is happy - grown adults can live with room mates and not be judged, so why the stigma with a room mate arrangement that happens to be with family?).

If you're fine and they're fine (and it sounds like the situation is mutually beneficial) then there is no problem as far as I see.

So I say keep doing what you're doing. :)
My family is very close so there is no problem with me staying their.  Everyone I know who is my age (20) either have an apartment or jumped right into buying a house and I constantly hear them complain about not having enough money to do stuff or go out because they are house poor.

elaine amj

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2016, 11:54:29 AM »
« Last Edit: January 07, 2016, 11:56:52 AM by elaine amj »

grosvenor6

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2016, 12:05:19 PM »
Here's a recent thread for more opinions: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/is-living-at-home-acceptable/

It seems like the con of staying at home is that it would affect your dating/social life especially if you are a male.  I have been with my SO for 4.5 years now and she will soon be moving in with me and is totally fine with the fact of staying with my family if it saves money.  Once she graduates in a year her job starts paying around 30 an hour so if we can stay there for a few years or so we can definitely get our retirement stash growing.

Louisville

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2016, 12:23:16 PM »
Everyone "lives at home", by definition. The fact that you live somewhere makes it your home.
So, you must be actually asking for "Opinions on living in my grandparents' home".
The reason why I make this seemingly persnickity, semantic point is that if perhaps you start thinking about it as, and vocalizing it as, "living with my grandparents", you may gain some different perspective.
That being said, I think you and your grandparents have a great situation going. I don't see anything wrong with it at all, as long as everyone is truly on board. Be prepared to go out on your own if you detect any real friction developing.
You and/or girlfriend may change your mind once you start having headboard banging, shout-to-Jesus sex and you think the grandparents heard.


ysette9

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2016, 12:37:15 PM »
This is a case where I don't think our opinions matter much. What matters is whether you are comfortable in your situation and whether your grandparents are also okay with the arrangement. If things are cool from their end and yours then what is the motivator to make any change? Save as much as you possibly can during this great time and then reevaluate once something in your situation changes.

AZDude

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2016, 12:40:45 PM »
Completely depends on your situation. In the specific situation you outline, it sounds like a great deal. In my early 20s I worked two jobs and ate rice/beans every night to avoid living "at home", and to this day I will say it was worth all the money and time. Then again, my family is crazy.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2016, 12:53:36 PM »
Everyone "lives at home", by definition. The fact that you live somewhere makes it your home.
So, you must be actually asking for "Opinions on living in my grandparents' home".

THIS.  I was really confused where else someone would live but at home. 

To answer living with parents vs. living with grandparents.  Unless I was in major debt where I couldn't even make the payments or in some other emergency situation (trying to leave an abusive relationship with no resources; forced out due to natural disaster and not yet recovered, etc) I value my independence and my transition from childhood to adulthood too much to live as a dependent to others. If you aren't paying full market rate, you are being subsidized even if you help out and contribute and I personally wouldn't do it.  Not just for your own freedom, but for theirs as well. 

But if it's a 'get back on your feet' situation I don't see shame in it. You do what you have to do.

Quote
You and/or girlfriend may change your mind once you start having headboard banging, shout-to-Jesus sex and you think the grandparents heard.
Or perhaps YOU being there is preventing them from being able to do the same thing.

rae

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #13 on: January 07, 2016, 02:38:11 PM »
My DH and I lived with my grandfather for the first few years of our marriage until my grandfather passed away. We paid rent, fired the landscaping guy and mowed the lawn and shovelled the driveway ourselves, and changed the high priced cable to cheaper satellite saving my grandfather money (and he could still watch CNN). We helped him when needed, did grocery shopping for/with him, took him to appointments, and kept him company. While it may not be the most independent or exciting way to begin married life, I am so happy that we had those precious years with him. So if it's mutually beneficial, don't feel guilty or bad about it. Appreciate the opportunity to be with your family, because they won't be there forever.

NV Teacher

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2016, 03:01:41 PM »
After hitting a really rough patch in life my brother moved into the basement of my mom's house.  He has a separate entrance, kitchen/living area, two bedrooms, and one bath.  He jokes about being the troll in the basement.  He is paying off some massive debt and works every bit of overtime he can pick up and will probably have to until he dies.  In exchange he handles all the house maintenance, snow removal in the winter, lawn/garden care in the summer, drives mom to appointments, and takes care of anything else she needs.  It works well for the both of them and I'm grateful he's there.

maco

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2016, 03:08:53 PM »
There's a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it. Sounds like you're doing it the right way. My step-sister lived with her mom and my dad until November when she bought a house. She spent 3 years out of college living with them and saving for the down payment. Good on her.

My uncle, though... my grandma was making and packing his lunch for him every night until Alzheimers hit. She did his laundry. She cleaned up after him. She made his dinner and did the dishes by hand (no dishwasher). Here was a man living with his parents into his 60s, with no idea how to take care of himself. She died two years ago. The place is an absolute sty. He hasn't even thrown away the food that was left in her kitchen (one of those big old houses with upstairs and downstairs kitchens). He eats only Hungry Man frozen dinners.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2016, 03:12:27 PM by maco »

Prairie Stash

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #16 on: January 07, 2016, 03:42:24 PM »
My grandparents died several years ago, if I could turn back time and had the option of living with them it would be tempting. Family is important, I envy you for getting to know them better. When your 40 you'll have many years of living in your own house and some great memories of the time you had roommates.

Yes the financial is better too, you're in a win-win situation.

iris lily

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #17 on: January 07, 2016, 03:45:11 PM »
DH lived at home past age 30. His parents have a farm and he helped a lot with that.

This enabled him to save a lot of money, buy income property, grow his stash. He also had a nice (to him) car and European vacations.

When we got married he had a nice net worth and that's just grown with both of us nurturing it and adding to it.

So ya, living with older generations and saving a lot of salary helped us a lot. It's one of the main things that contributes to our assets 30 years later.

southern granny

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #18 on: January 07, 2016, 05:30:53 PM »
Our daughter lived with us until she was almost 30 and it was fine.  She was saving money for a house.  When she bought her house she paid about 40% down and kept about 10K in a fund for repairs.  If she had been living at home and blowing her money, it would have been a different story. 

Connie

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Re: Opinion on living at home?
« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2016, 06:25:49 PM »
I lived at home for a few years after college. During this period I was traveling 80% for work. Helped me pay off 55k of student loan debt and save a good chunk of money. I think it's great if everyone is happy with the arrangement. My parents enjoyed having me around and I liked seeing them more often. The only downsides were the location was in a very family-oriented suburb with demographics being middle aged people and their kids plus dating life was more inconvenient, although I didn't have any issues finding people to date.