So actually there is my sister, the oldest, very well off, several homes, owns business w/ husband but she doesn't work, country clubber. She was the executrix when my parents died, she is sort of the point person on matters of the estate. She would like closure but is afraid to push too hard for reasons stated previously about health and financial issues of the brother in the house.
Second is the retired brother on a fixed income or pension. He is 110% loyal to the brother living in the house, they are as close as two sibs could be and he would move the earth for this guy. He's an all around generous and great guy. He has given his own money to the brother in the house to pay taxes, etc., while he struggles to find money to move forward with some important things in his own life. Pretty amazing.
Third is the brother in the house, former high school super star, great looking, most college degrees, very good job but deep in debt paying off kids' college loans and paying a mortgage on his own home across town that his estranged wife lives in, whom he doesn't divorce b/c it would cost him more than just staying married and paying for her to live in their house, lives w/ girlfriend and her adult son in the house in question.
Fourth is the disabled brother - social, emotional, insomniac, depressive, recovered addict, challenges w/ processing information, gifted musician. Our family has been to hell and back with this sweet but completely messed up man, institutionalized at least 4 times, finally got him set up in a subsidized apartment, on some benefits, off substances, as stable as he can be - he lives from month to month stretching pennies to the next check in the mail. This is the brother who is not trusted by the brother in the house, thinks he is just lazy and dishonest and could be doing more to help himself. My oldest brother has consulted a lawyer on setting up a trust for him, in the event the house ever sells, and has agreed to be the trustee. He already handles other money matters for this brother. It is a priority for all except the middle brother to see that this bro is taken care of.
Fifth is me, 10 years younger than the first and 5 years younger than the fourth, female, no kids, not married but in 25+ yr. relationship with man - we're DINKS ha ha - who thinks I am being raked over the coals on this house thing. I am financially secure, good savings, no debt, own my home, will retire within 5 years from a good job I've had 25 yrs, will have good pension. A 60K inheritance equals a year's salary minus benefits for me. As you can see, all very different, but we all adored our mother and managed to get along well enough despite our differences when she was living. Superficially we still get along, we have our own lives, we stay out of each other's faces and obviously don't call each other out on stuff - but resentment over this house has come to a tipping point for me...sister too, maybe disabled brother too...we just don't talk about it. I've gotten fired up about it before and then not done anything about it. This time the trigger was when he said to my sibs and me, "Listen, I don't want to talk about the house but, I had to put a new roof on the garage, I have torn the wall paper from the kitchen walls and am working on that room and then I will fix water damage from previously leaky roof in dining room. Just giving you a heads up because I can't guarantee the dining room set will be safe if left in there during renovation so you might want to think about what you want to do with it." Then he left.