Author Topic: OMY depression  (Read 2544 times)

joleran

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OMY depression
« on: August 26, 2020, 08:28:52 PM »
Sitting here with a pretty comfy ~3.4% withdrawal rate if I do absolutely nothing but FIRE off investments right now, though I have multiple other income streams, where if they don't collapse it drops to ~2.6%.  One very young kid and another kid on the way.

I could rock-solid without a doubt Coast FIRE, near-certainly lean FIRE without a historically unprecedented economic issue, etc.  Don't really care about my job and really want to prioritize my kids.  But, I'm making obscene amounts of cash at a very cushy job with a good amount of autonomy and respect and can add 4-5 years of expenses to savings every year if I keep working without much hustle at all.  All the stress feels like it's in my head and not real and I could do crazy things with the money from working a couple more years.  I feel ungrateful and childish not doing so and it takes a huge toll on my mental health agonizing about it which is just hurting my job performance, making me feel bad about that too.

Has anyone been at this point and what did you do?

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2020, 11:05:31 PM »
I'm right there with close to the same math. I don't have an answer either. (In my case, however, I only have employment & portfolio income, with such a lean habitual budget that there's little to trim & any surprise expense could triple my annual spend.)

All the stress feels like it's in my head and not real and I could do crazy things with the money from working a couple more years.  I feel ungrateful and childish not doing so....
I could have written this. I don't suppose you had a period of prolonged un(der)employment? I also see people struggling right now & it feels both ungrateful to quit & selfish to keep padding my personal stash when I could be donating.

The handcuffs here are more silver than gold, but it's still more money than I'd expect to ever make again: once I'm out, it would be difficult to get back in. I do not enjoy my job & absolutely would not do it but for the money, but I don't trust my track record as I seem to have unusually-few spending emergencies compared to others, so I'm waiting for the unknown other shoe to drop, & perhaps the fate of the ACA. We're in crunch so I can't get time off to assess the situation, or reduce my hours to lower my stress; I'm skeptical of any sort of coast-fire options due to the health risks I see others' employers requiring of them during covid. But I am deep in burnout & not enjoying my off-time in consequence, so it feels like losing 15 waking hours a day & getting paid for only eight. Posting to follow, I suppose.

secondcor521

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2020, 03:03:54 AM »
I hit my 4% FIRE number somewhere just after age 44.  I had three teenage kids, and a savings rate that added about three to four years for every year of work.  The job was in the "Okay but a bit boring" state.  The boss was OK, and the work was somewhat interesting.

At that point I was reassigned.  Different boss, different project, different colleagues.  We had lots of problems.  I tried everything I could to fix them.  Then I tried to put up with them.  Lots of stress.

I FIREd at age 46.  I got to spend a few precious years driving those teenage kids around, and discovered that talking with them, making their lives a bit easier, and just maybe imparting some of my wisdom was worth waaaaay more than any additional amount of dollars.

Periodically I have had rare and very fleeting thoughts about what more I could have done with more money, mostly charitable giving.  Those thoughts are rapidly diminishing to zero, because with my very low WR and the market returns in the past four years means I'm rapidly approaching having more than I know what to do with.  I'm able to responsibly give quite a lot now.  Had I worked more years, I'd have just gotten to this point sooner, and I would have missed out on those precious years with my kids.

If the job is in the "meh" category and it is oodles of money, then I'd hang around until it gets bad for whatever reason.  If it's bad, then I'd leave.  I did and have absolutely zero regrets.

OtherJen

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2020, 05:35:14 AM »
I'm right there with close to the same math. I don't have an answer either. (In my case, however, I only have employment & portfolio income, with such a lean habitual budget that there's little to trim & any surprise expense could triple my annual spend.)

All the stress feels like it's in my head and not real and I could do crazy things with the money from working a couple more years.  I feel ungrateful and childish not doing so....
I could have written this. I don't suppose you had a period of prolonged un(der)employment? I also see people struggling right now & it feels both ungrateful to quit & selfish to keep padding my personal stash when I could be donating.

The handcuffs here are more silver than gold, but it's still more money than I'd expect to ever make again: once I'm out, it would be difficult to get back in. I do not enjoy my job & absolutely would not do it but for the money, but I don't trust my track record as I seem to have unusually-few spending emergencies compared to others, so I'm waiting for the unknown other shoe to drop, & perhaps the fate of the ACA. We're in crunch so I can't get time off to assess the situation, or reduce my hours to lower my stress; I'm skeptical of any sort of coast-fire options due to the health risks I see others' employers requiring of them during covid. But I am deep in burnout & not enjoying my off-time in consequence, so it feels like losing 15 waking hours a day & getting paid for only eight. Posting to follow, I suppose.

Iím not anywhere near ready to FIRE, but your mention of burnout caught my eye. Please do not ignore burnout. I did, and it cost me my mental and physical health for years. It seems like it may be time to consider a move, even if you donít retire altogether.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2020, 07:47:32 AM »
Iím not anywhere near ready to FIRE, but your mention of burnout caught my eye. Please do not ignore burnout. I did, and it cost me my mental and physical health for years. It seems like it may be time to consider a move, even if you donít retire altogether.

I hear you on both the physical and mental health.  I really want to talk to a therapist/counselor, but every time I try this they just do their active listening stuff and almost certainly can't relate on a personal level - it doesn't help.  Maybe I really want a financial advisor to give me an all clear or something.

I made a giant document exploring every financial aspect of the situation and a list of some things I want to do when I'm retired, but a lot of these things I could be doing now but am not.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2020, 09:22:50 AM »
OtherJen, you are right, & anyone but me I'd be shaking by the shoulders saying "leeeeave" - at least outside of pandemic times. When it's me, however, all my personal trauma intervenes - unable to find work after graduating into the last recession & being aggressively shamed for joblessness really did a number on me, even though the accusations were baseless. If "doing everything by the book" back then still failed, you'd think I'd learn the system is not to be trusted, & yet....

Joleran - Exactly that! I tried two therapists asking for direct, actionable advice, instead got "tell me more about that." I don't spare words, so it felt like running out the clock on my precious self-development time - I could & do just-talk to friends for free.

Financial advisors vary wildly in quality, those working for big firms are trained to cover their liabilities, so it seems to depend more on the magnitude of your numbers than the straight math even if they normally know how to do math. The desire to hear from a trusted voice that you're okay despite all supporting evidence is a familiar one, though. I personally can't seem to tackle the "when-retired" list now either but I feel fairly certain it's mostly out of a lack of energy after work because I long for them as soon as I can go 72 hours without a shift; my problem is that all off-time is recovery time. Do you think it's that you have a hard time breaking the inertia & starting those pursuits in the first place, is it energy, or is it something else?

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2020, 09:29:10 AM »
I hear you on both the physical and mental health.  I really want to talk to a therapist/counselor, but every time I try this they just do their active listening stuff and almost certainly can't relate on a personal level - it doesn't help.  Maybe I really want a financial advisor to give me an all clear or something.

I made a giant document exploring every financial aspect of the situation and a list of some things I want to do when I'm retired, but a lot of these things I could be doing now but am not.
You may get more benefit working with a life coach than a traditional therapist. The bolded portion is a bit of a clue as to what you may be struggling with. Do you REALLY want to do the activities you listed, or do you only think you do? Or even worse, think you should want to do them? A life coach can work with you on identifying your values and needs and mapping out a post-FIRE plan based on those.

Fru-Gal

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2020, 09:31:43 AM »
How about a life coach? The whole point of them, unlike therapy, is *solving* problems by listening, then testing out possible mitigations and creating plans. They really can work. Some have niche focuses (dating, career, spirituality, finance) and some are good at working on the whole person.

EDIT: Woah, that's 2 simultaneous votes for life coach! I agree that you have made a step in that direction with your list of things you like to do!
« Last Edit: August 27, 2020, 09:33:17 AM by Fru-Gal »

Fru-Gal

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2020, 09:38:55 AM »
Also, are you getting enough exercise?

I can relate to the golden handcuffs -- am enjoying cash flow I never expected at this point in my life. My whole thing is socking it away because I don't want it to end and have nothing to show for it. I also am the breadwinner so that's additional stress/responsibility.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2020, 10:03:32 AM »
I personally can't seem to tackle the "when-retired" list now either but I feel fairly certain it's mostly out of a lack of energy after work because I long for them as soon as I can go 72 hours without a shift; my problem is that all off-time is recovery time. Do you think it's that you have a hard time breaking the inertia & starting those pursuits in the first place, is it energy, or is it something else?

I recently took three weeks off work, the first couple of weeks were travel to see family, not something high on my list but pleasant enough.  The last week I got to go out and walk trails with my little daughter and got some other things done that just felt like "yes, this is how it should be".  Some things I can't do right now due to COVID, but it's always the looming prospect of having to go back to work and not ultimately being in control of my time that gets me down.

EDIT: Woah, that's 2 simultaneous votes for life coach! I agree that you have made a step in that direction with your list of things you like to do!

Yeah, sounds like the way to go, will be looking for one!  Always seemed a bit hokey, but it seems like I didn't really understand what they do.

Also, are you getting enough exercise?

Nope, far from it.  Went from nearly elite athlete to couch potato over the last decade it seems.  Should be and theoretically is my absolute top priority and I have no real excuse to not do more already.

Sibley

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2020, 10:17:13 AM »
Have you been screened for depression? Like, actual depression? It doesn't have to be the dramatic complete nonfunctional depression to mess with your life.

Also, you referenced all the trauma from earlier joblessness. That is something that is worthy of addressing, if nothing else because there'a pretty good chance it's going to screw up your head when you do retire. A good therapist should be able to help you work through it.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2020, 10:30:46 AM »
Have you been screened for depression? Like, actual depression? It doesn't have to be the dramatic complete nonfunctional depression to mess with your life.

Also, you referenced all the trauma from earlier joblessness. That is something that is worthy of addressing, if nothing else because there'a pretty good chance it's going to screw up your head when you do retire. A good therapist should be able to help you work through it.

No, but I get it and have thought it.  Don't really want to pursue pharmacological remedies though, and it seems like the cure would just be to stop doing the thing that brings me down (work).

The earlier joblessness was someone else, I've been working continuously since I was 13.

ysette9

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OMY depression
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2020, 10:50:49 AM »
Have you been screened for depression? Like, actual depression? It doesn't have to be the dramatic complete nonfunctional depression to mess with your life.

Also, you referenced all the trauma from earlier joblessness. That is something that is worthy of addressing, if nothing else because there'a pretty good chance it's going to screw up your head when you do retire. A good therapist should be able to help you work through it.

No, but I get it and have thought it.  Don't really want to pursue pharmacological remedies though, and it seems like the cure would just be to stop doing the thing that brings me down (work).

The earlier joblessness was someone else, I've been working continuously since I was 13.
There can be a lot of benefit from therapy that doesnít have any pharmacology component. Iíd encourage you to give it a shot at least. Often times employees have employee assistance programs that include some set number of sessions with a counselor. Iíve done that in the past and in fact am doing it now though my husbandís benefits.

EDIT: I now have read the whole thread above and see you gave it a try. Maybe a life coach would be better. Maybe a therapist who specializes in retirement transitions. I believe that is what Dr Doom found (see link below) so he could talk with someone who knew about that particular life challenge.

Have you read Chosing a FIís series of blog posts called The Quit Series? I highly encourage it to anyone struggling a bit with pulling the trigger on actually quitting. He had to work with a therapist to get to the root of his depression and difficulty giving himself permission to actually retire.


https://livingafi.com/the-quit-series/

Also, I keep learning over and over that my mental health really depends on regular intense exercise. I HAVE to get out there and run about every other day, and when I donít, I spiral downwards. When I havenít been running I get tired and depressed and it is difficult to get back into the rhythm; the harder it is to get out there, the more I know I need it. Can you try prioritizing just exercise for a bit and see if that gives you a boost to allow you to work on other areas?

On the financial front we paid for a session with Justin at Root Of Good for a second set of eyes on our finances. I also had a free evaluation through my companyís 401k provider that gave me the green light that we were set to quit. Could you do something similar just to mentally check that box?
« Last Edit: August 27, 2020, 10:58:47 AM by ysette9 »

Ockhamist

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #13 on: August 27, 2020, 10:53:56 AM »
Have you been screened for depression? Like, actual depression? It doesn't have to be the dramatic complete nonfunctional depression to mess with your life.

Also, you referenced all the trauma from earlier joblessness. That is something that is worthy of addressing, if nothing else because there'a pretty good chance it's going to screw up your head when you do retire. A good therapist should be able to help you work through it.

No, but I get it and have thought it.  Don't really want to pursue pharmacological remedies though, and it seems like the cure would just be to stop doing the thing that brings me down (work).

The earlier joblessness was someone else, I've been working continuously since I was 13.

A lot going on there much of which I can personally relate to.

Don't know about your joblessness issue, but I have like you been working continuously (except for one summer due to a medical issue) since I got my first paper route at age 11.   My dad went through some periods of unemployment and related depression, and being witness to that scarred and scared me, makes it hard for me to pull the trigger and retire.

Depression is a complicated thing.   For some the pharmaceuticals work, for others not so much.  It's easy to write an rx for one of them, harder to drill down to solve the real problem.  Masking symptoms might get you through but doesn't solve the problem.  PM'd you with one thing to consider as a possibility.

Your kids are of course your best and should be first priority, but leaving your work may or may not benefit them.  Finding time for them matters more than anything, but having nothing else to do but them is not so healthy for you or for them.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #14 on: August 27, 2020, 07:30:28 PM »
https://livingafi.com/the-quit-series/

Also, I keep learning over and over that my mental health really depends on regular intense exercise. I HAVE to get out there and run about every other day, and when I donít, I spiral downwards. When I havenít been running I get tired and depressed and it is difficult to get back into the rhythm; the harder it is to get out there, the more I know I need it. Can you try prioritizing just exercise for a bit and see if that gives you a boost to allow you to work on other areas?

This is a really powerful read, I've not seen it before, thank you! 

It's been pointed out to me that having previously been diagnosed with low testosterone and having to cut treatment to have kids may be a fundamental cause in some ways, but of course exercise is fundamental.  I know from experience it doesn't take a lot of time out of the day to get a good workout in and before I do anything crazy I need to get my health in order.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #15 on: August 27, 2020, 08:14:31 PM »
...it's always the looming prospect of having to go back to work and not ultimately being in control of my time that gets me down.
I am still not convinced you are not me. (Apparently nobody else is either, as I count two people attributing you my joblessness traumas, sorry about that!) It sounds like the lack of self-pacing & the unnatural state of servitude is what's getting to you - a lack of self-determination, rather than an active presence of Tiresome Bullshit - & so you keep angling at ways to slice what isn't really a clear-cut situation (ditto on the massive document on finances too, btw.)

If I'm right about it being more a problem of what is lacking (openness in your schedule) rather than a problem of what is present (TB), that may be easier to resolve without quitting outright; are there any odds of doing what you do on a reduced schedule, even just temporarily to shake up your sensation of normal for a better angle on how to cut things?

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #16 on: August 27, 2020, 08:30:45 PM »
I am still not convinced you are not me. (Apparently nobody else is either, as I count two people attributing you my joblessness traumas, sorry about that!) It sounds like the lack of self-pacing & the unnatural state of servitude is what's getting to you - a lack of self-determination, rather than an active presence of Tiresome Bullshit - & so you keep angling at ways to slice what isn't really a clear-cut situation (ditto on the massive document on finances too, btw.)

If I'm right about it being more a problem of what is lacking (openness in your schedule) rather than a problem of what is present (TB), that may be easier to resolve without quitting outright; are there any odds of doing what you do on a reduced schedule, even just temporarily to shake up your sensation of normal for a better angle on how to cut things?

Hah, sorry about that too!  You're spot-on, but the weird thing is work is bending over backwards to be accommodating outside of actually reducing hours or meetings. It's a big part of why I feel like such a disrespectful little shit.  I can skip multiple days of doing any real work every single week and still get great performance reviews.  It would be trivial to take advantage of this more than I already do, but it feels so very wrong and I can't bring myself to actually do it.

It would be so much easier if they just treated me badly.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2020, 08:35:02 PM by joleran »

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2020, 08:52:25 PM »
I have the exact same sentiments about my employer (difference is I face metric tons of TB from the public & can't simply tell them to get lost, which is why I want out so bad.) I've built up a great reputation & could rest on my laurels but it feels dishonest to do any amount of that. If my workmates could just get with the mustachian program we'd normalize twenty hour weeks.

Obviously you don't want to short yourself, either, but is there some concession they would benefit from in exchange for the shorter hours?

ysette9

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2020, 08:59:07 PM »
https://livingafi.com/the-quit-series/

Also, I keep learning over and over that my mental health really depends on regular intense exercise. I HAVE to get out there and run about every other day, and when I donít, I spiral downwards. When I havenít been running I get tired and depressed and it is difficult to get back into the rhythm; the harder it is to get out there, the more I know I need it. Can you try prioritizing just exercise for a bit and see if that gives you a boost to allow you to work on other areas?

This is a really powerful read, I've not seen it before, thank you! 

It's been pointed out to me that having previously been diagnosed with low testosterone and having to cut treatment to have kids may be a fundamental cause in some ways, but of course exercise is fundamental.  I know from experience it doesn't take a lot of time out of the day to get a good workout in and before I do anything crazy I need to get my health in order.
I hope you enjoy the read. He doesnít blog anymore but his is my favorite blog out there and I find myself re-reading entries sometimes. (Ok, truthfully I did it more when I was still working...) :)

nobody

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2020, 10:41:32 PM »
But, I'm making obscene amounts of cash at a very cushy job with a good amount of autonomy and respect and can add 4-5 years of expenses to savings every year if I keep working without much hustle at all.  All the stress feels like it's in my head and not real and I could do crazy things with the money from working a couple more years.  I feel ungrateful and childish not doing so and it takes a huge toll on my mental health agonizing about it which is just hurting my job performance, making me feel bad about that too.

The portion quoted, that is me to a T.  I can commiserate with the feelings of whether to pull the trigger, and dreaming about what I could do with the extra cash if I worked one more year.  What helped me is I sat down and reevaluated my belief system.  I'm working on reshaping it and it will be a lifetime venture.  The majority of my life, it's been beaten into me and reinforced to take the safe, known, well-beaten paths, pain now is for a brighter future, make decisions by the numbers irregardless of how you feel, etc, etc.  That, and other factors, such as past traumas, has had and still have a huge impact on my behavior and decision making.

I hope that gets the point across and doesn't sound like crazy babble. lol

Others here have mentioned a life coach.  Does your work place have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)?  Most places I've worked have an EAP, and offer some number of free counseling sessions; could be a start to at least test the waters of counseling/coaching.

Simpli-Fi

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #20 on: August 29, 2020, 11:02:54 AM »
I came here with the intentions of starting a similar thread, glad I'm not alone in this.

I have the opportunity to request a severance package as I haven't really enjoyed the work for a long time...but the uncertainty of healthcare is enough to scare me into continued corporate wage slave.

Lots of good tips in this thread, another thread about COAST fire really opened my mind to realizing I could find more interesting work...and work longer and not be as depressed slaving to Corp. America.

Financially it makes so much sense to stay the course (wage slave) but I think I'm (and DW) emotionality / mentally exhausted...no pain no gain and bigger the risk the greater the reward, right?!?

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #21 on: August 29, 2020, 11:50:34 AM »
The portion quoted, that is me to a T.  I can commiserate with the feelings of whether to pull the trigger, and dreaming about what I could do with the extra cash if I worked one more year.  What helped me is I sat down and reevaluated my belief system.  I'm working on reshaping it and it will be a lifetime venture.  The majority of my life, it's been beaten into me and reinforced to take the safe, known, well-beaten paths, pain now is for a brighter future, make decisions by the numbers irregardless of how you feel, etc, etc.  That, and other factors, such as past traumas, has had and still have a huge impact on my behavior and decision making.

I hope that gets the point across and doesn't sound like crazy babble. lol

Others here have mentioned a life coach.  Does your work place have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)?  Most places I've worked have an EAP, and offer some number of free counseling sessions; could be a start to at least test the waters of counseling/coaching.

Makes perfect sense.  I actually engaged my EAP, but got matched with a 55 year old retirement coach that mentioned they had 5 cars.  They spent most of the session just saying "wow" it seemed like.  Great little ego boost but seems like it may be needed to go to someone who's already tread this road.

I have the opportunity to request a severance package as I haven't really enjoyed the work for a long time...but the uncertainty of healthcare is enough to scare me into continued corporate wage slave.

Super curious about this, is this standard or how are you approaching asking for severance?  My main thoughts about asking for this were offering non-compete and/or non-disparagement for however long they want.

Simpli-Fi

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2020, 12:15:30 PM »
Nothing very sexy, my company is going through a reorganization and some people will be left without jobs...unless other people volunteer for a lay-off.

Have you read the other blogger, who is not very liked here, and wrote a book on negotiating your severance?
« Last Edit: August 29, 2020, 12:18:44 PM by Simpli-Fi »

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #23 on: August 29, 2020, 12:54:28 PM »
Have you read the other blogger, who is not very liked here, and wrote a book on negotiating your severance?

I've pondered purchasing but the price isn't great and I'm concerned its not really relevant if not in a sales/relationship oriented profession as that seems to be the most common use case.

kei te pai

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2020, 01:41:54 PM »
So where does your wife fit here? What would she like ? A fulltime househusband who runs childcare and household while she goes back to work? A  shared split of coast FI and family life?
Do you both share the same outlook on financials?
Have you talked to her in depth about how you feel about work?

4tify

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #25 on: August 29, 2020, 04:51:02 PM »
I'm totally with you and in the same boat. Was planning to pull the trigger this year or early next, but still can't seem to make a firm decision.

I don't think it's depression as some have said here. It's the fact that we set a huge goal for ourselves (FI) and have now reached it. That's a big deal and if you're a high earner it also means you're driven (or just extremely lucky). Either way shifting away from earning into another identity is a big deal.

I don't have advice, but I'm with you and I'm trying to sort it out as well. For my part I don't hate my job, but it's often very annoying and there are days I would love to be free of it. I sometimes feel like I'm not "living up" to the FI goal I set for myself, but I'm also grateful for the good job and all that comes with it (health insurance, camaraderie, structure, travel before covid). I also wonder how much covid is making things more unbearable and how that might play out once settled a bit more.

Ultimately we'll "know" when it's time to pull the trigger. It may not be yet, so for now I'm trying to make the best of things while I can and wait out my own fickleness. I am also considering taking a year off once "travel" resumes in the world, since I've still got lots of fun places to explore.


joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #26 on: August 29, 2020, 04:55:02 PM »
So where does your wife fit here? What would she like ? A fulltime househusband who runs childcare and household while she goes back to work? A  shared split of coast FI and family life?
Do you both share the same outlook on financials?
Have you talked to her in depth about how you feel about work?

She's never had a career outside of entry level white collar stuff and has no real interest in going back to work except out of boredom or to just finish the 40 SSA credits for the minor benefits that will give, loves taking care of the kids as a stay-at-home-mom for the last 2 1/2 years, and has no interest in learning more than the surface level of our finances.  She's as involved as she would like essentially, which is honestly less than I would prefer.  We're really aligned on spending though and she has never expressed interest in bumping our spend up - I'm comparatively the spendy one.  I talk to her more than she might prefer about this stuff really.  She has basically given me permission to run this however I think is safe, which does put all this on me.

I also wonder how much covid is making things more unbearable and how that might play out once settled a bit more.

I had negotiated work from home prior to this all kicking off, but not being able to go into an office and perhaps the overall sociopolitical environment really changed how it feels.

Simpli-Fi

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #27 on: August 29, 2020, 08:42:34 PM »
I wonder too how much Covid is playing into me wanting to take the package.  I'm also working remotely and if I don't take the package I would want/request to work remotely from out of state.

That is the other factor making me unhappy, I've lived/worked in many places for this company...including 3rd worlds.  I've downshifted to glide into retirement, so no international travel but still not living somewhere of my choosing.  I expected to work domestically for another 9-10 years because of a pension, but now I'm not so sure it's worth my happiness.  9 years sounds like a sentence.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #28 on: August 30, 2020, 06:17:15 AM »
I wonder too how much Covid is playing into me wanting to take the package.  I'm also working remotely and if I don't take the package I would want/request to work remotely from out of state.

That is the other factor making me unhappy, I've lived/worked in many places for this company...including 3rd worlds.  I've downshifted to glide into retirement, so no international travel but still not living somewhere of my choosing.  I expected to work domestically for another 9-10 years because of a pension, but now I'm not so sure it's worth my happiness.  9 years sounds like a sentence.

Depending on what the package looks like, it sounds like a strong possibility for you.  The core of FIRE is really about making a financially stupid decision that doesn't negatively impact living life.  I'm a bit less concerned about healthcare as running the numbers the ACA plans are ridiculously good when you game the MAGI system.  What I'm calling "legislation risk" is my biggest concern.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #29 on: August 31, 2020, 12:08:40 PM »
Well, I did it today.  I'm either going to get a nice part time position or be done at this company, depending on what HR and upper management says.  I can't stop smiling.

Simpli-Fi

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2020, 12:33:32 PM »
That is awesome, very happy for you!  It is very hard focusing on work with some many simulations to run...FIREcalc, cFireSim, etc. haha!

I won't know if my request for severance is approved for a couple months, if it is not approved I'll be working towards a part time schedule until the time has come for me to quit.

FireLane

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #31 on: September 01, 2020, 11:23:55 AM »
Congrats! Come back soon and update us.

Your situation sounds uncannily similar to mine. I have enough saved to retire at a low WR, but my job pays well and isn't too stressful. If I hated the work or it was taking a toll on my health, I'd have already walked away. As it is, it feels like quitting would be killing the goose that lays the golden eggs, and since I can't travel anywhere with COVID, there's no harm in padding my stash some more. On the other hand, maybe I'm just telling myself that to avoid the anxiety of taking the leap. I'm still contemplating it.

I was going to suggest going part-time, which is what I did, but you beat me to it! It's a win-win: if they say yes, you're still making good money while reclaiming some of your time. If they say no, you have a good clear reason to walk.

joleran

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #32 on: September 01, 2020, 01:04:25 PM »
As it is, it feels like quitting would be killing the goose that lays the golden eggs, and since I can't travel anywhere with COVID, there's no harm in padding my stash some more. On the other hand, maybe I'm just telling myself that to avoid the anxiety of taking the leap. I'm still contemplating it.

It entirely feels like that.  Extremely emotional dropping a career on the floor that a lot of people would so dearly love.  It opens up the slot for others though!

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: OMY depression
« Reply #33 on: September 04, 2020, 12:48:13 PM »
Congrats, OP!