Author Topic: OK, so what do I have to do so that my hair does not look like total crap?  (Read 1714 times)

ObviouslyNotAGolfer

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50 YO male with medium brown hair (was very blond as a kid). It has a slight wave to it, but is far from curly. I have the basic guy haircut, parted on the left, and I shampoo every day. I always towel dry--virtually never blow dry. I go to an old-school barber--probably about 70 years old and a really good guy.

 My hair manages to be both far too dry and far too oily at the same time. After one second in a 0.5 mph breeze, my hair looks as if I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet! At the same time, some areas are oily and lie down limp. If I did not shampoo for even one day, my hair would look even worse--oily as hell. Conditioners do NOTHING.

What to do I need to do here?--go to my wife's expensive hair stylist and buy a bunch of the expensive shite they are always peddling? I have a suspicion that all shampoos are basically the same except for perfume and packaging. For all the endless hours my wife has spent reading about hair in various magazines, she has no idea either.

Any suggestions? Thanks!

« Last Edit: December 18, 2021, 03:04:44 PM by ObviouslyNotAGolfer »

former player

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Short on the sides, a little longer on top but not much so you don't overemphasize the parting.  You've probably been keeping the top too long, and maybe the sides too.

Too oily is paradoxically a sign of too much washing with shampoo.   Growing it out into a ponytail or manbun would help with that, as you could brush and tie back in lieu of washing.

Or a buzz cut?

(Going short/very short or long are your answers. No messing with Mr Inbetween, that's been your problem.)
« Last Edit: December 18, 2021, 03:20:10 PM by former player »

Bibimbap

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Stop washing daily, so your oil glands can reset. The more you wash the oiler your hair will be.  Yes, it will feel yucky for a while but it will pass.

Metalcat

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Agreed, you're washing your hair way too much.

You will have to go through the greased-pig stage as your scalp adjusts to less washing, but it's the only way to resolve the greasy roots and dry hair combo.

The easiest way to do this is to start washing with conditioner. However, most conditioners have pretty heavy duty silicones in them, so you first need to strip the silicones out of your hair, and then wash with just a silicone-free conditioner.

The only reason to use the heavy duty detergents in shampoo is to strip the heavy duty silicones in conditioner. If you aren't dumping silicone into your hair, you don't need detergent to wash it. A silicone free conditioner will get your hair and scalp perfectly clean.

You can try just using water too, but that's a bit more of an adjustment process. Silicone free conditioner is the much simpler, easier transition way to do it.

As for haircut, have you ever gone to a really good hairstylist?

It's expensive, but you don't need to keep going, you can just go once, get an idea of what works on you, take a photo and then have a cheaper barber recreate it. But a really good stylist will know how to make YOUR hair look good, not just produce a cut that you ask for.

K_in_the_kitchen

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I think we're missing some information here. Specifically, your hair texture and density -- are your individual strands fine, medium, or coarse, and how many strands do you have, which is usually classified as thin, medium, or thick.

People with fine, thin hair typically have more problems with oil, and the common advice to wash less often doesn't work well for them unless they grow their hair long and then learn not to disturb their scalps.  I have baby fine, thin hair.  The joke around here is that my hair tangles when I breathe.  When I was younger it would have been classified as type 1a, but in post (early) menopause it now has the slightest bend in a few areas, so it's more type 1a/b.  If I curl it, the curls fall out (can be maintained by using product before curling and hair spray after, but even then will mostly fall).  If I sleep with it braided or twisted, it will start out with some wave and then fall out.

I've tried just about everything over the course of the past 30 years.  All natural shampoos and conditioners, soap based shampoos, shampoo bars, Dr. Bronner's soap (diluted), egg yolks, honey, baking soda and apple cider vinegar, clay, soap nuts (soaked into a liquid solution), conditioner only, water only, and others I've certainly forgotten.  I've gone as long as a full month with water only, hiding my greasy hair under scarves.  Baking soda (diluted, of course) made my hair dull and so fragile it was breaking off.  Apple cider vinegar rinses (post baking soda washes or soap based shampoos and shampoo bars) made my hair a grease pit.  Truth be told, washing with egg yolks or honey will cleanse my hair, but washing hair with food is expensive.  My hair looks fine with conditioner only, but over time my scalp doesn't like it and gets itchy.

I could never wear my hair short like the typical mens cut -- I would be oily within the hour.  It's not because I produce tons of oil, but because fine hair is slippery and the oil coats the shaft quickly, and with thin hair there are fewer strands to take the oil.

Anyway, here's what I've learned, in case you have fine thin hair as well.

1) If your hair is short you may have to wash it everyday if you can't stand the sight of oily hair.  I don't wear bangs/fringe because I don't want to wash them daily.  But if you wash it daily you need to find a way to do it without drying out your scalp.  One option is to wash with shampoo one day, and then use conditioner only for a day or two, then wash with shampoo, etc.  Watch for itchiness or dandruff, though.

2) Don't stimulate your scalp!  I have long hair.  I wash my hair every 2-3 days during the warm/hot months and every 3-4 days in winter, which is a huge improvement, but I didn't achieve this until I stopped taking a brush or comb to my scalp everyday.  The advice out there to use a boar bristle brush to distribute the natural oils made my hair greasier than ever.  I can't preen, either.  If I touch my scalp a lot it will get oily.  The key is to leave it alone.  If I was a man I would probably choose a basic buzz cut so all I had to do was dry my hair with a towel and be done.  For long hair, rinse it with cold water if you can -- I find this makes detangling much easier which means less scalp stimulation.  Using a blow dryer also stimulates the scalp and can contribute to oiliness.

3) The advice above about growing your hair long is spot on, especially if you are blessed with fine hair but an abundance of it.  My young adult son has my hair strand fineness, but it's wavy when longer (not just a little shaggy long, but past the collar) and downright curly when shoulder length or longer.  Since he's young he has a lot more strands of hair than I do, but it's still fine and it still get oily looking fast.  He's been wearing it long for several years now, and the man bun is his friend.  Even if his hair is oily, he has enough hair that when it's pulled up  the oil just looks like he has healthy, shiny hair because no scalp shows through.  It's a little harder for me since I don't have as much hair.  I still mostly wear my hair up or braided, but while we have the same length hair (both of us at about 32" at present), his man bun looks full and my bun is small for how long my hair is.

4) If all of that is too fussy, use product.  Cut the top a little shorter so it doesn't flop over or lie flat.  Using something like mousse or gel will coat your hair strands, which somewhat stops the oil from sliding down the hair shaft.  Or use dry shampoo -- it's not expensive and with short hair one can should last a long time.  But be warned that using product will definitely put you into the wash your hair everyday camp.

Finally, when you say a light breeze makes your hair stand up, are you dealing with static electricity?  It takes trial and error to find a shampoo and conditioner that prevent static electricity, depending on hair type.

Firehazard

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If you are using a cheap shampoo, switch to a better one.  When I switched from Suave to Nexxus, it made a huge difference.  Suave is like hand soap.  My hair is very fine also.  I wash mine every  other day and use just a dime sized blob for my shoulder length hair after wetting it down thoroughly and adding water to help lather up.  Same with conditioner, just a tiny bit, and rinse til it feels soft but not gooey.  A good shampoo and conditioner will last a very long time.

YummyRaisins

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I think we're missing some information here. Specifically, your hair texture and density -- are your individual strands fine, medium, or coarse, and how many strands do you have, which is usually classified as thin, medium, or thick.

Great tip on the hair types. I didn't now about this and just went by straight or curly, think or thin. Clearly it's more complicated than that.

I'd say I have 1a hair and for the last few years I've been doing conditioner-only most days and shampooing 1-2 times per week. I've gotten board with the traditional barber shop haircut and I'm experimenting with growing it out. It still likes to stand on end on the sides and flop over on the top; using hair product has been my solution.

There are a lot of different products with different hold strengths and with matte or shiny looks so you'll have to decide what you're going for.  I'm currently using a matte pomade with a medium hold and no shine. It's ok, but I'm considering giving a wax or clay a try. Not a fan of gels because they clump the hairs together and in my case they make my hair spiky and hard.

Rusted Rose

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I agree with the diagnosis of too much washing. Oiliness happens in response to try to balance that, just like it can if we strip oil from our skin.

I used to have this issue with my face, but I got wise and now use a simple version of the oil cleansing method for that.

For hair, note that commercial shampoo is a detergent. I've found that I prefer soap, which is chemically different, in the form of so-called shampoo bars. I have fine hair but a lot of it, and I wash every 3 days with a solid shampoo bar (this is alkaline), followed by a rinse of diluted apple cider vinegar (this is acidic and therefore neutralizes the alkali). No conditioner.

My Mustachian leanings have led me to a very inexpensive supermarket-brand castile soap as a shampoo bar. When I first got it I had not noticed that it actually says on the box that it can be used for hair (and also pets. Pet soap is often the same kind of formula, very safe and mild). Many fancy cosmetic-y brands of bar cost 3 or more times as much. So unnecessary. And some shampoo bars are detergent-based, tried and don't like.

Castile soap is made from olive oil, and Dr. Bronner's is a widely available brand of castile soap that now offers solid bars as well as their classic liquid version. Maybe not as cheap as the store-brand bars I get but could be easier to find.

I've never tried the liquid for hair so I can't say how suitable it is but it could be something to check out as well. If you do, I'd still probably do the diluted vinegar rinse to neutralize the pH.

Sibley

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As a compromise on the not being too oily but also starting to correct this - only wash every other day, and if you have a day or two where you don't mind being oily, don't wash those days. It's not necessarily ideal for your hair type, but it is a step towards whatever IS ideal. You can rinse with plain water on the off days if you want.

DeniseNJ

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I am female with long curly hair, somewhat thick.  I "wash" every day with a silicone free conditioner.  Lots of conditioner, lots of scalp rubbing and combing through with fingers, lots of rinsing. No shampoo. I never have a problem with oil not using shampoo.

I agree to lay off the shampoo. Also use some silicone free product to hold your hair the way you want it.

ixtap

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Wavy hair often responds well to not washing it every day, or even going "nopoo" which means using conditioner with no shampoo.

Which seems to be what the poster above is suggesting.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2021, 09:33:45 AM by ixtap »

Morning Glory

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If you have short straight hair you can put baby powder in it and comb, to take out the oil (old nursing home trick for when it's hard to get people into the shower).

ObviouslyNotAGolfer

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Hi folks, thanks for all the advice! Lots of knowledgeable people here.

Here is a little update on what I've been doing hair-wise in the last few days. We are staying in for at least a week. I'm off of work for a while, and we are trying to avoid traffic, crowds, COVID, and the coming rain (LOVE IT, except when I'm driving!). Hence, I can let my hair look like crap for an experimental period. Even if not, I'm a scientist/professor, and most of my colleagues do not notice or care about these types of things. Even so, I'm tired of being embarrassed of my hair!

To answer a couple of questions: My hair is fine and is pretty abundant on the sides and back, while thinning on the top. At least that is the opinion of my wife, who is really into hair (and of course I can see the top hair loss in the mirror myself, but strangely, it started in my 30s and seemed to stop after a few years!). Her hair looks great without blow drying. She is using the "curly girl" method and loves it. Her long-time hairstylist agrees that her hair looks great and very healthy. I love it because I don't have to wait endlessly for her to blow dry her hair prior to going somewhere! She said that some men are using it now as well. I do not have curly hair (neither does she), but she recommended I try it anyway.

So, here's what I've been doing at her recommendation (Echoing a lot of what has been said here).

FIRST DAY: She advised I shampoo and condition with this Trader Joe's "invigorating, refreshing" Tea Tree stuff. She said it is a clarifying shampoo/conditioner and will start to strip some of the accumulated crap from my hair. She also advised that I do not use hot water to rinse-- which I have been doing all my life (I like a hot shower, especially when it is cold)! She said I should also pat dry my hair and be gentle. Then, finger comb!

I must say that after even a single day, it is vastly improved if not exactly where I want it! It looks a bit more lustrous and is sitting down calmly and is pretty easy to comb (lightly!)

SECOND DAY: She advised I just use conditioner (no shampoo!) and not put it on my scalp, just the hair itself. She then advised I dry with one of her microfiber towels. Done. It looks good--about the same as yesterday.

THIRD DAY (tomorrow): No shampoo (!) Switch to one of her non-silicone conditioner "Shea Moisture Power Green"

NEXT WEEK: Shampoo with the Shea Moisture shampoo, then follow with conditioner. She only shampoos once a week but uses conditioner every single day.


So far so good!





« Last Edit: December 20, 2021, 10:09:01 PM by ObviouslyNotAGolfer »

MrThatsDifferent

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Lol, if only you had listened to your wife before ;-)~

rothwem

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My hair is the same way, I got frustrated with it somewhere around the 9th grade and have had a buzz cut ever since.  When I'm feeling fancy I'll go to the supercuts and have them give me a #2 fade with a 6 blade on the top.  It also helps to have a pro do it every now and then to make sure the neck line doesn't get too crooked from my DIY neck trimming in the mirror. 

Shampoo is whatever my wife is using at the time.  When you have a buzzcut it doesn't really matter that much. 

ixtap

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Results will vary based on skin type, activities, etc, but my skin and hair have been much happier since I stopped showering every day. Whenever possible, I rinse off heavy sweat with just water before it dries (unless I have been mountain biking; definitely full shower to get the dirt off, then).

Metalcat

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Yep, that all sounds about right, and is a great place to start.

Have you ever gone to see her stylist? That would probably be my next step if I were you. Someone who can work with the texture and variable thickness of your hair.