Author Topic: Not letting life slip by.  (Read 994 times)

pudding

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Not letting life slip by.
« on: February 11, 2019, 03:14:30 PM »
A snowy day ramble here in Vancouver.

I just got a Facebook memory 'thingy' saying it was 5 years ago since I went on my last adventure trip.

Although trips are pricey and sometimes more educational than fun, and occasionally I wish I hadn't bothered, it does sort of bother me that it's been that long. 

It's almost like if you ask the question "are ya ever going to go back to some of those places  enjoyed in previous trips"   If the answer was "no"  I would be kinda upset at that. I'd really like to go back to Japan again, parts of Europe, check out eastern Canada to name a few, spend a summer hanging out in my old hometown in Yorkshire.

It may just be a result of getting older, but there are some things that I don't 'naturally' feel in a hurry to do... adventure travel being one of them....  but if I look at it in the context of 'how many summer's do you have left'  then it becomes a different thing again.

Almost thinking that I'm inputting the wrong coordinates into my mind, maybe I'm just grooving along in my comfortable rut?

Another couple of things that happened to me recently in a similar vein are that I finally went back to the UK where I lived up until moving to Canada 24 years ago. 

I hadn't been back in 10 years, and I thought I was done with it over there, but when I went back,  a lot of things went well and I had great time. Made me sit down and wonder 'why the ** did I wait so long'?

Another is I recently decided to strike out and find some new friends, as quite a few old ones weren't really happening nowadays.

So I set out to combine playing music with meeting people and making friends... making music also being something I've wanted to do for ages, but hadn't.... so far so good, I really enjoy playing music and met some friendly people and a whole new social life around that....  same again where I was wondering why the heck did I wait so long.

Another is that I was tired of being stiff from all the years of construction and being 56, so I checked out hot yoga, boy did that make a difference, so I've been about 24 times since November.

It's a bit like I have this inertia, like I need some new thoughts based around time not being forever in order to give myself a 'shove' so as to not 'regret' life when I'm too old to do these 'things.'

Anyone ever had success overcoming inertia?

I suppose in some ways maybe I'm overcoming it lately anyway as been doing new things.   Maybe it was the random summertime trip back to UK that set things in motion. It was a totally random trip really as I'd chopped my finger with a knife at work and a month earlier a landscaper had crashed into my work van on the jobsite, so was booked to get van fixed and finger out of action at same time. So thought maybe it's time I should go back, found a cheap flight 2 days later and founds myself back there after a 10 year hiatus.  Funny how things work out sometimes.

A bit of a side story to this is here;
One of the things that slowed me right down over the last 11 years was buying a house.  The house at first seemed like huge mistake, then after working my butt off for about 5 years started to look like not a bad idea, then prices went nuts and at the height of the market I could have sold for about 800 thousand more than I bought it for. Recently prices softened but the area my place is in looks like it'll be up for rezoning, if it does happen it'll be big bucks!  Likely a million or more extra bucks. But it could take a couple of years to get there, couple of years more of living in my house is not bad really, but I have to be here most the time as I rent a few rooms to international students, so though I can get away, it adds to the 'hassle' so I tend not too. Also a 'couple' of years longer in my home is OK, but it's this kind of being tied to it and the student renters that make it affordable for a couple more years-along with waking up from this 10 year inertia, adds extra 'weight' to those 2 years longer. After all a man/womens life is only so many decades.

There are things I could 'do' differently for this next couple of years to make circumstances a bit more inline with what I'm feeling I should be doing with my life.  Maybe those things are where I need to put my focus for now.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 03:52:49 PM by pudding »

kei te pai

  • Bristles
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Re: Not letting life slip by.
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2019, 11:27:21 PM »
Ive been having somewhat similar thoughts with the NewYear underway.I would love to look back and think 2019 was the year that"something xyz" happened, or I did "something", but I dont know what. Life is good, money sorted, just starting to feel the need for a challenge though. Kind of lost the desire to travel.
I would like to hear how you get on!

pudding

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Re: Not letting life slip by.
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2019, 12:02:02 PM »
Ive been having somewhat similar thoughts with the NewYear underway.I would love to look back and think 2019 was the year that"something xyz" happened, or I did "something", but I dont know what. Life is good, money sorted, just starting to feel the need for a challenge though. Kind of lost the desire to travel.
I would like to hear how you get on!

Hi and Happy new year!  If I get things moving I'll update.

BNgarden

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Re: Not letting life slip by.
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2019, 12:22:53 PM »
Glad to read your post. 

For me, 2019 will be a year when 'things happen' that are more family / duty-related: long trip overseas to visit them.  I've been 'waiting' for this as opposed to fitting it into a more fulsome life.  Partly 'cause we made a few changes post-retirement (2017) (e.g., our home base).  Partly because it seems foolish to start things locally when we're headed out soon for more than a few months.  But this 'waiting' state is really about not knowing better what I want / devoting energy to that exploration.

Maybe the travels / our return in 2020 will see a turn towards more self-motivated living.  Looking to your (and others') posts here for further inspiration.

pudding

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Re: Not letting life slip by.
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2019, 01:03:55 PM »
Just rambling on here, hope that OK :)  starting to look into overcoming inertia.  Just listened to a good Ted talk and got me thinking.

It seems a shame to wait for 'circumstance' alone to 'shock' me out of routine and then replace old ways  with something new only when I have to.

After all I'm a human being and as such can move around, think, play with different scenarios in my mind without having to commit first.

A few things of mine that I've identified as being not so good are;

1. Just accepting things as being 'that way' and when in fact they are not!  and I can definitely do things differently and often get a much better outcome. But only if I do something about it.

2. In the past not trying 'new' things and  not trying them quickly and seeing if they work for me or not.   Examples would be, recently I tried Ju jitsu and quickly found that it wasn't for me.     I tried hot yoga and quickly found that I liked it.     I tried counting calories to lose weight but found it a drag, I tried intermittent fasting and find it to be quite easy and effective.

It could be a pain in the butt to always be constantly trying new things, but for me just thinking about trying new things and not doing them was the problem.

I think that's my takeaway from the Ted talk video is to take action and try it out without too much of a commitment at first and see if it fits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uvUx57t838&ab_channel=TEDxTalks

Also to reward the new habit to make it stick, and remind myself that it was enjoyable so as not to just go through the motions of living.   A reward from hot yoga is just feeling good! Feeling better all around.

In some ways in my life I've almost had to delay gratification for so long that it caused inertia to set in.   Doing thankless tasks that came my way in life, some of it due to no reason within my control.... So I just sat on things and put it into cruise control like learning to live with a toothache or some other chronic condition where you just accept that it's going to be this way. Do your best Not to think!

You know, like if I said to you that there's this burden and if you hold it for a year you will get 50k! It sounds good so you commit...... then 6 months in you find out its actually that you have to live with this burden for 10 years not one year!  and there's actually also a penalty that you overlooked (my mistake), and if you 'drop out'  the penalty will bankrupt you or maybe even cripple you.

Putting out fires becomes your only focus and looking at options almost impossible... by the time the fires are out inertia has set in. Maybe fear and apprehension took hold.

Anyway that's past and happy to be at the place I'm at now.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 01:41:18 PM by pudding »