OP, I think you've been given some good advice here, based on the information you provided, but I thought I'd come at this from a slightly different direction. It sounds like you might have come on to this forum without a clear picture of it's general approach to things. You may want to read some of MMM's early blog posts, and read through some other forum threads to get a sense of where people here are coming from.
I also wanted to offer you some congratulations! And some appreciation! You and your family have obviously not had an easy time of things over the last number of years. You have worked incredibly hard and been extremely patient, likely going against the grain of the materialist culture of family and friends. You have something truly valuable to show for this hard work: low debts (except for the student loan), a lifestyle that feels frugal compared to those around you, and most important to you, a real home of your very own. Your family has gone through some major changes and you and your wife may need to take some time and really be proud of what you've accomplished. I think it's really important to FEEL the reward for years of sacrifice, otherwise it just feels like poverty and drudgery.
So now, things have changed. You are taking the time to re-calibrate. And you feel like, for all of the hard work and sacrifice you've been doing, why aren't you farther ahead? So demoralizing! But the truth is, it's just time to take a deep breath, let go of what "should" be; look around, figure out new goals, look at your budget with fresh eyes, and then, with your whole family, start prioritizing once again.
A few things that have been important realizations to me: my gross pay is not my take home pay. I get cranky because, in theory, my DH and I make a really good income: more than $120k a year. This is more than we would have dreamed of years ago! Where does it all go?! Well, lots of it goes to taxes, EI premiums, health care deductions, etc. The ACTUAL money that we work with on a monthly basis is much lower than that. I don't mean to sound patronizing; we all KNOW that this is true, but I had this fuzzy sense of wealth that didn't match our actual reality. I need to think of us as a household that makes less than $100k. It's still a very respectable amount, of course, but it does limit our options. And we live in a high cost of living area, where most people are funding good-looking lifestyles with a TON of leveraging. It's tough, sometimes, to get an accurate picture of what lifestyle our incomes buy in this area.
Another thing that's helped is really finding peace about my choices. Budgets and money are all about choices. It is completely your choice to keep your satellite tv. We have a ridiculously unmustachian sailboat that I can justify as old, used, a diy project, etc...so it *shouldn't* really cost that much, right? Well, it costs us $500/month. That's the reality. This is totally ridiculous. However, DH and I have decided that it IS in fact worth the extra years of working and spending to have this boat in our lives. We don't have hair-on-fire-debt. It is a luxury that we don't insure; if it sank tomorrow, we would cry and say, oh well, it was worth it while we had it. So if this STV is the thing that makes you feel ok about your life, then do the same thing: recognize that you LOVE having STV, it is completely worth $100/mo to your family, and you absolutely recognize the trade-offs of the lost opportunity cost of that money, which include greater financial insecurity. The responses you are getting here are from people who have been down that road, decided it *wasn't* worth those trade-offs for them, and have found much cheaper ways of meeting the entertainment need so that they feel their quality of life has been *improved* AND they are saving $$.
Lastly, remember that this is a *process*, as you've experienced already. On this forum, we love a great "180" story, where someone gets the bug, sells everything, starts biking everywhere, stops eating out and starts working out, and is thrilled and empowered. But it doesn't work that way for all of us, especially those with families. Sometimes the nickel and diming is all we have to work with for a while, because bigger changes (like finding new work) don't happen as quickly. Sometimes those nickel-and-diming actions add up over time and get us where we need to go; sometimes they help us to realize that bigger, more dramatic changes (like moving) are necessary to meet our goals.
Anyway, sorry that was long, hope it helps put things in perspective a little. Remember that this is a place famous for "face-punching" sense into people, but that we are a group that finds a lot of joy in a stripped-down life, and we're just trying to encourage you to find the same. Good luck to you and your family.