No, you should absolutely not cut your Roth to pay for stuff. You are complaining that you already feel broke despite making six figures because you have no impulse control and buy too much stuff. So your solution is to save even less, so you can buy even more stuff? Listen to what you are saying -- how does that make any sense? You have a big fire looming; you need to be calling the fire department, not breaking out the cans of gasoline.
First, figure out what you need now -- not "may" need if things happen, DO need, right now. That is the computer,* not the car. Buy the least expensive computer that will run the software you need for your business, period -- no bells, no whistles, just the functionality you need. Forget Apple (unless your software will only run on Apple). See if you can find another refurbished option.
Then just start tracking every dime you spend. Every one. It really doesn't matter how -- you can do YNAB, or Mint, or Quicken, or a notebook, or whatever. You need to see what you are blowing the money on before you can fix it. So don't even worry about the "budget" part right now -- just start building data. Then, in a couple of months, you can pull up that data and figure out the easiest areas to cut back on (hint: those are generally the ones that trigger a spontaneous "holy shit, I spent how much???").
Then think about what your triggers are to spend. Stress? Boredom? Then plan something else to do when that trigger happens that is completely inconsistent with spending money. Stressed? Get up and walk around the block -- and leave the phone at home so you can't just pop on Amazon for a quick sec. Or turn the computer and electronics off and go sit on the back deck with a glass of wine, or exercise. Or take up painting or knitting to keep your hands busy. Etc. Make it something you enjoy! You are trying to retrain yourself into a new habit, so find something you don't currently feel you have time for and just DO IT for a few minutes when the urge to buy gets overwhelming.
Then put barriers in your way that slow you down. If the ease of plastic entices you to spend-now, worry-later, then put your CCs in a bowl of water in the freezer and live on cash only -- as in, you get a weekly allowance in cash for every discretionary thing you want to buy, and when the money is gone, you're done. If the problem is online shopping, delete all of your CC #s from all websites where you have accounts set up. If it's cash that runs through your fingers like water, take one CC with you and leave your ATM card at home. Etc. Only you know what sets you off, so you are going to need to be the one to figure out what steps will most effectively prevent you from being stupid.
And then set goals, and reward yourself with something when you make them. But the key here is to make them really, really easy at first. Like, if you can take your lunch for a whole week, you get to go out to lunch with your DH on Saturday. And then, as you get better and better at it, the targets become further and further apart, so you are always challenging yourself. And you can also do the reverse: if you cave and buy a $7 sandwich, you donate $7 to some cause you detest.
Finally, do this overtly, with your DH or a friend or something. Identify your specific goal (the "easy" target from the last paragraph), ask them to hold you accountable, and report on a periodic basis. Personally, I can bullshit myself very effectively (especially when it's 8 PM and there's ice cream involved). But I hate failing in front of other people, so going public effectively shames me into playing it straight.
PS: The others are right about EJ. But that's "Intermediate Money-ing 207," and you are in "Intro to Saving 101." Right now, you don't have the financial credibility to tell your DH that EJ is a money-sucking leech who is bleeding you dry (though, obviously, a very nice and personable money-sucking leech). Get your own house in order, grow up and get yourself under control, do some reading and research (JL Collins is excellent for that), and then, once you've got your budget and cash flow calmed down, bring up the EJ guy.
*As you begin tracking expenses, take a very, very close look at how profitable that side business really is. If it brings in $2K, but it forces you to linger on all these websites that entice you to drop $3K on shit you don't need, that is not a "business," that is a "hobby."
