New spendy friends

[Giro]

How much do people generally spend on weekend activities?

Our new friends asked us to attend a wine tasting event in a city about 30 miles away.  I don't have a lot of close friends in the area and we both LOVE wine, so we decided to join them.  The tickets to the event were $65 each.  I grimaced but got the tickets.  Friend is making dinner reservations for a few hours after the wine tasting.  Fancy-pants dinner will be $100 easily.  Now, she is asking if we are spending the night.  She sent the hotel link to me today.  $135 a night.   That is $370 total. 

O
M
G

We think $25 on a Friday night at the local Thai place is a splurge.  This is like vacation spending!! 

[2Birds1Stone]

I would cringe unless it was some kind of special occasion.

Maybe offer to picnic at the winery instead of dinner? How far is this place that you need to spend the night?

[boarder42]

thats worse than vacation spending.  in 4 days i'll be sitting in a free ocean view room in Maui that i got to from my free Jeep Wrangler rental ... with FREE first class tickets.   Eating Poke (raw ahi tuna chunks) at 12 bucks per pound drinking the finest 5 dollar bottle of wine money can buy. watching whales do back flips.

[norabird]

30 miles away does not necessitate a hotel!

Say you'd like to dine somewhere else if you can and try to explain that the spending is above your budget.

[homestead neohio]

If you do this because you like their company, it will be a very expensive friendship to maintain.  The earlier you let them know you don't spend like that regularly, the sooner you'll know if you will be spending much time with them.  I agree 30 miles does not justify a hotel stay.

[use2betrix]

My wife just made a new friend that is a full time student. She drives her grandfathers truck and said she makes minimum wage. I couldn't be a happier husband lol.

[Cassie]

They might be planning to stay at a hotel because they won't be in any shape to drive. Aren't there any wine walks in your town?

[DebtFreeBy25]

1. Suggest a more affordable place for dinner.
2. Designate a driver who won't drink at dinner so you won't need a hotel.
3. Explain that you're on a budget and suggest some inexpensive activities for next time (game night, bowling, a hike, dinner at home, etc.).

I agree that you're not being cheap. I've only ever spent that much for NYE, weddings and super special occasions and even then that's only been a few times in my life.

[Easye418]

This is why my wife is my best friend...  next up would be the pups and they aren't costly to entertain! :)

But thats just me, my wife fulfills all my social need and work does as well.  Have a few of my college buddies that are out of state.  Occasionally have a beer with my neighbors. 

No need for bullshit "appearance" friends. 

Sit around talking about how bad their life, kids, spouse, job, debt, etc is.  Always talking about themselves or other people problems.  Miserable way to spend a night. 

I would squash this event request after they sent a link for a hotel.  Absolutely hate wasting money on Hotels.

[jrhampt]

Yeah, there's no need for a hotel, especially if you have a dinner hours after the tasting.  That should be plenty of time to sober up.  As someone else suggested, maybe you should suggest a reasonable restaurant, so that way you have more control over the price of the dinner.  I'd try to keep it to around $175 total with event tickets and dinner.  Still a bit much for one event, but less than half what she is proposing.

[Giro]

This is why my wife is my best friend...  next up would be the pups and they aren't costly to entertain! :)

But thats just me, my wife fulfills all my social need and work does as well.  Have a few of my college buddies that are out of state.  Occasionally have a beer with my neighbors. 

No need for bullshit "appearance" friends. 

Sit around talking about how bad their life, kids, spouse, job, debt, etc is.  Always talking about themselves or other people problems.  Miserable way to spend a night. 

I would squash this event request after they sent a link for a hotel.  Absolutely hate wasting money on Hotels.

It absolutely is NOT like this.  I wouldn't call her and her spouse "appearance" friends.  We work on similar projects and I've been training her at the gym for some time now.  We just started doing things outside of work together.  Her and her husband are very nice, positive people who are happy.  I like spending time with them.  And my spouse is happy * 10 so we all work well together.  I am actually the one who doesn't walk around with a shitty grin on my face all the time. 

I would say that before now, my spouse and I went out alone together 95% of the time.  We seldom socialize with other people, which is why I'm leaning towards hanging out with them. 

[norabird]

People who only need their spouse certainly exist, but I can't imagine it, personally. It is absolutely worth cultivating this friendship, as you know, but that should mean being able to compromise with them on dinner :). Friendship is a worthy budget line as long as the spending is in line with your values.

[Giro]

People who only need their spouse certainly exist, but I can't imagine it, personally. It is absolutely worth cultivating this friendship, as you know, but that should mean being able to compromise with them on dinner :). Friendship is a worthy budget line as long as the spending is in line with your values.

Yep.  She knows I'm cheap so when I pushed back a little on the restaurant, she just said we would figure something out.  I'm just not sure about the hotel.  My husband was perfectly okay with the hotel and just said we don't usually do things like this, so let's go for it.  I still don't know.  We have a large tax payment to make in April.  The idea is to check in to the hotel and drop off the cars and then walk to the wine tasting and the restaurant and stroll around downtown.  So, basically free parking and no worries about driving home

[Easye418]

This is why my wife is my best friend...  next up would be the pups and they aren't costly to entertain! :)

But thats just me, my wife fulfills all my social need and work does as well.  Have a few of my college buddies that are out of state.  Occasionally have a beer with my neighbors. 

No need for bullshit "appearance" friends. 

Sit around talking about how bad their life, kids, spouse, job, debt, etc is.  Always talking about themselves or other people problems.  Miserable way to spend a night. 

I would squash this event request after they sent a link for a hotel.  Absolutely hate wasting money on Hotels.

It absolutely is NOT like this.  I wouldn't call her and her spouse "appearance" friends.  We work on similar projects and I've been training her at the gym for some time now.  We just started doing things outside of work together.  Her and her husband are very nice, positive people who are happy.  I like spending time with them.  And my spouse is happy * 10 so we all work well together.  I am actually the one who doesn't walk around with a shitty grin on my face all the time. 

I would say that before now, my spouse and I went out alone together 95% of the time.  We seldom socialize with other people, which is why I'm leaning towards hanging out with them.

People who only need their spouse certainly exist, but I can't imagine it, personally. It is absolutely worth cultivating this friendship, as you know, but that should mean being able to compromise with them on dinner :). Friendship is a worthy budget line as long as the spending is in line with your values.

Sorry, I should have said not to take this so seriously.  I was exaggerating a bit.  I am not a complete hermit, however, since moving across the country, we haven't found many people who aren't like that.  Maybe I'm a bit jaded.  People are just different for me in my area.

I enjoy friendship and camaraderie, but my wife and I know how to have a great time with each other.  Big families help as well.

[norabird]

I still can't really comprehend staying overnight. I mean, thirty miles!

[Eric]

I still can't really comprehend staying overnight. I mean, thirty miles!

Here's a secret you may not know.  Wine tasting is actually wine drinking.  :)

[chesebert]

How much do people generally spend on weekend activities?

Our new friends asked us to attend a wine tasting event in a city about 30 miles away.  I don't have a lot of close friends in the area and we both LOVE wine, so we decided to join them.  The tickets to the event were $65 each.  I grimaced but got the tickets.  Friend is making dinner reservations for a few hours after the wine tasting.  Fancy-pants dinner will be $100 easily.  Now, she is asking if we are spending the night.  She sent the hotel link to me today.  $135 a night.   That is $370 total. 

O
M
G

We think $25 on a Friday night at the local Thai place is a splurge.  This is like vacation spending!!

Depending on the kind of weekend. For those special ones, it's certain possible to spend $100+ for afternoon tea + $100+ for dinner + $100+ on wine. In that regard I think $65 wine tasting may not be too bad depending on what you are tasting. For example I would gladly pay that amount and more for vertical tasting of Chateau Palmer.

Also, if I were you I would probably just eat the hotel cost. Who would want to drive 30 miles when they are intoxicated and had a full meal...

[chesebert]

I still can't really comprehend staying overnight. I mean, thirty miles!

Here's a secret you may not know.  Wine tasting is actually wine drinking.  :)

If I don't like I don't swallow :)

[Giro]

I enjoy friendship and camaraderie, but my wife and I know how to have a great time with each other.  Big families help as well.

I was with ya until you said family......I'll pick good friends over family every.damn.time.   Except my husband, I kinda like him.