Author Topic: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…  (Read 6064 times)

Papa bear

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #50 on: April 03, 2019, 03:27:37 PM »
Well in Iris_lily's case I would not call them a panhandler. But rather a person that trespassed and harassed them on their property. Saying they called the cops on an aggressive panhandler wasn't quite the full story and was somewhat misleading. It crosses the line when they're banging at your door screaming at you.

But calling the cops in aim to get a random (non-trepassing) panhandler off your block for the night (when they will just come back or another will replace them on the now empty corner) is a completely different story. And pretty much pointless and a waste of resources IMHO.

The entire point of the thread was discussing calling the cops on a situation where you are purely speculating and there is no evidence of a crime. And the crime which you are speculating on is low-risk to harming others.


+1. They are more than panhandling now, they are committing crimes. Trespassing, harassment, potentially assault. /

I’m pretty sure the Supreme Court just upheld panhandling as protected by 1st amendment?  At least here in Ohio, police can’t remove them from public property, and that was within the past year.

The city put up signs at intersections and off ramps telling motorists, “don’t give to these people! It won’t help! Here’s who can donate to if you want to help” instead.


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carolina822

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #51 on: April 03, 2019, 09:11:03 PM »
This was a really interesting thread to read. I have often experienced a disconnect between different peoples' decision on when to call the cops.
Ex: We were on the highway (80mph limit), a truck ahead of us would accelerate to excessive speeding and then slow down way below the limit, lots of swerving, etc. Something was obviously not normal.
My friend was got angry at me for calling the cops, "He hasn't done anything wrong." (he did though, reckless driving and speeding)
My thought was, "Yet. He hasn't hurt anyone yet. I would feel like complete shit to wake up in the morning and hear a report that a DUI driver hit and killed a family on the highway. I knew he was there and I did nothing."

Since we have a nice spread of opinions here, I'd like to learn more about the don't-call-the-cops perspective. So far I've heard:
1) Live & let live
2) They haven't done anything to you
3) They're only hurting themselves
4) You don't want to waste their time if it turns out to be nothing
5) You don't have any actual evidence

What else to add to the list?
In what situation would you call the police?

I'm not generally a fan of calling the cops, but I will do it in a skinny minute for reckless drivers. Screw those assholes.

Cassie

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #52 on: April 03, 2019, 09:16:18 PM »
I wouldn’t be living there and tolerating that crap.   

Freedomin5

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #53 on: April 03, 2019, 09:57:52 PM »
Do local hospitals have crisis response teams? If you think the pan handler has a mental illness and is in danger of hurting themselves or others,, the local hospital’s CRT can respond instead of police. The person is then hospitalized (usually at least for a week so that the psychiatrist and social workers can do their assessments) and then connected to resources to help them get off the streets. We had this both in Los Angeles and in Vancouver.

Also, if the person is clearly mentally ill, police may take them to the hospital instead of to jail, if no crime has been committed except for something minor like disturbing the peace. 

It seems to me this might be a more compassionate response that helps people with mental illness and also allows home owners their right to a safe home and neighborhood.

spartana

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #54 on: April 04, 2019, 10:32:42 AM »
I have had neighbors think that I was a prostitute-and I'm not!  I had purchased the house during summer and worked in a school so I had summers off (school secretary). I also had the following:

My brother who was my roommate at the time coming and going frequently and working weird hours.
My ex-husband who came to pick up and drop off my daughter for visitation.
My boyfriend who came over to see me and take me out on dates or hang out.
A number of male friends.  At the time most of my female friends were married with small kids so they never came over-I went to their houses.

I had no idea that my neighbors thought I was a prostitute until I was talking to my next door neighbor's mother. She provided daycare for her grandchildren. She was asking me about what I did and I told her that I was a secretary at an elementary school and had summers off so I was at home during the day. She then asked me about the guys who were coming and going from my house. Yikes! I figured out where she was going with her questioning. I explained about the different men (see list above) and assured her that nothing icky was going on! It also explained why her daughter would glare at me through the window.

Your neighbor may be a prostitute and/ or dealing drugs or not. Do not make such broad assumptions without knowing more facts!!!
Haha...me too. When you are a 30 something or early 40s single jobless woman who buys a house in a HCOL area with all cash and have lots of platonic male friends the neighbors are gonna be talking ;-). I eventually lied and said I worked from home rather than bothered to explain FIRE.

OP I haven't read all the posts yet but there are some red flags for sure. Although if it was a drug buy or stash house the "visitors" would be in and out in a few minutes or even seconds and not staying 15 minutes. So probably not drugs.

Car Jack

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #55 on: April 04, 2019, 12:21:39 PM »
I feel like I'm missing out.  An exciting day for us is when a fox runs across our back yard.

partdopy

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #56 on: April 04, 2019, 12:23:12 PM »
Perhaps you don’t understand that I am not interested in helping the panhandler.

Well in that case, you can always just shoot her.

If you're genuinely unconcerned with the welfare of other human beings if it inconveniences you at all, you might be a sociopath.  If you genuinely wanted to improve your neighborhood, instead of just your own personal situation, you would be advocating for helping panhandlers find other options instead of just shuffling them off to be someone else's problem.  What you're doing sure sounds like short-term thinking of the worst kind.

What is this even supposed to mean?  Are you saying iris lily should just let this person rage through the neighborhood and, rather than try to keep herself and neighbors safe, maybe volunteer at a homeless shelter? 

How many aggressive panhanlders do you currently house in your home or provide meals to in your neighborhood?  Or do you just want to be combative and try to make others feel bad?

sol

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #57 on: April 04, 2019, 01:56:55 PM »
Or do you just want to be combative and try to make others feel bad?

I'm sure Iris Lily just phrased her post poorly, and I was trying to highlight that what she actually said was pretty terrible, and hopefully not what she actually  meant. 

I don't look at a mentally ill homeless person and think to myself, "I hope that person never gets the help they need so they can suffer forever in someone else's neighborhood."  I also don't think to myself "I am totally ambivalent about what happens to that person as long as I don't have to look at them anymore."  I am particularly and very specifically NOT thinking to myself "I am going to try to make that person's life definitively worse by trying to have them imprisoned" or "If they're hassled enough they won't come back here" which is what she (hopefully by mistake) literally said.

I understand the desire to protect her own personal safety, and to reduce crime in her neighborhood.  I do not understand these desires manifesting as malice towards people who need compassion and support.  We're all in this together, and harassing suffering people so you don't have to look at them is not really helping anything.

Feel free to disagree with me.  I won't mind.

AlanStache

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #58 on: April 04, 2019, 07:56:23 PM »
I feel like I'm missing out.  An exciting day for us is when a fox runs across our back yard.

The second most exciting thing happening at my house is that nest building has started, one is going into a bush outside the dinning room window.  So extra seed has started going out to help with the new families. 

Since the raid Alaces trash can has not been overflowing; also I have not seen her coming or going. 

lhamo

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #59 on: April 04, 2019, 08:14:39 PM »
In some cities/states, it is almost impossible to force someone into mental health care or drug treatment, regardless of how obviously they need it.  We have a situation in our neighborhood that is very distressing:  a women with both mental health issues and drug addictions, who is controlled by her abusive boyfriend.  Last year there was a several week period when they both were hanging out on some raised planter beds by the post office and choosing to defecate on the public sidewalk rather than walk one block to a portable toilet.  After people in the  neighborhood got frustrated and called in local media, they were put at the top of the housing list and given a unit that had previously been only accessible to single people.  Unfortunately, within two weeks police were called to respond to a domestic violence incident.  Male partner was charged, but female victim did not show up for the court date so charges were dropped.  He's got an extensive rap sheet going back to the '80s -- theft, drugs, domestic violence, pimping (the latter is likely one of the reasons he is with his "girlfriend").  I'm sure he's got trauma issues himself, but that shouldn't give him a license to make life miserable for others.    Not sure if she still has access to the housing, but both are now back hanging out on the street during the day.

They have case workers but apparently their hands are tied. 

TheExplorer

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #60 on: April 04, 2019, 11:57:12 PM »
Or do you just want to be combative and try to make others feel bad?


I'm sure Iris Lily just phrased her post poorly, and I was trying to highlight that what she actually said was pretty terrible, and hopefully not what she actually  meant. 

FWIW, I think you came across (ie what you said) as quite judgemental and lacking compassion (ie kind of terrible), Sol. Letting everyone know how much more virtuous you are than others is often seem as actually not being very virtuous.

Maybe your post was phrased poorly and hopefully was not what you actually meant... ;)
« Last Edit: April 04, 2019, 11:59:28 PM by TheExplorer »

cloudsail

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #61 on: April 05, 2019, 03:16:46 AM »
It's so nice to see that the cops actually care in your neighborhoods when you call them. In mine, apparently unless there is an actual violent crime, they do diddly squat.

My neighbor across the street told me once about a dangerous driver driving very erratically down our street and hitting multiple cars parked on the sides of the road. He jumped in his car and followed her while calling the cops. She continued to hit more parked cars while heading into our village area with lots of shops and families, children, etc. walking around. My neighbor became very worried that she would hit a pedestrian. He followed her into a gas station, where she got out of the car looking clearly drugged up. Cops told my neighbor to go home and stop following her. He worried that she would hurt someone but didn't want to be charged for physically restraining her, so he gave the cops her exact position and went home.

Cops showed up a half hour later at his house, without having gone at all to where he told them he last saw her. She was long gone by then, of course.

secondchance

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #62 on: April 05, 2019, 09:02:51 PM »
Damn. I have a lot of sympathy for sex workers, who are trying to make a home-based living in an environment that doesn't understand or support it ... something many of us can understand as nontraditional workers. Hope Alice is OK and you feel safe in your home.

fuzzy math

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #63 on: April 06, 2019, 01:31:17 PM »
Or do you just want to be combative and try to make others feel bad?

I'm sure Iris Lily just phrased her post poorly, and I was trying to highlight that what she actually said was pretty terrible, and hopefully not what she actually  meant. 

I don't look at a mentally ill homeless person and think to myself, "I hope that person never gets the help they need so they can suffer forever in someone else's neighborhood."  I also don't think to myself "I am totally ambivalent about what happens to that person as long as I don't have to look at them anymore."  I am particularly and very specifically NOT thinking to myself "I am going to try to make that person's life definitively worse by trying to have them imprisoned" or "If they're hassled enough they won't come back here" which is what she (hopefully by mistake) literally said.

I understand the desire to protect her own personal safety, and to reduce crime in her neighborhood.  I do not understand these desires manifesting as malice towards people who need compassion and support.  We're all in this together, and harassing suffering people so you don't have to look at them is not really helping anything.

Feel free to disagree with me.  I won't mind.

Iris lily posted that they open her gate and let her dogs out. That's trespassing.

You posted a story about a guy trespassing on your neighbor's property and you calling the cops. Do you not see the irony here??

Perhaps iris lily should call you a sociopath...

sol

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #64 on: April 06, 2019, 07:25:45 PM »
Iris lily posted that they open her gate and let her dogs out. That's trespassing.

Yes it is.  I probably still wouldn't call the cops if someone let my dogs out.  I'd be unhappy, but I don't think that warrants police involvement.  Neither does Iris Lily, who explicitly stated that she only does it to "harass" the person in an effort to get them to move somewhere else, and that she "doesn't care about helping" this person.

Quote
You posted a story about a guy trespassing on your neighbor's property and you calling the cops. Do you not see the irony here??

No irony intended or implied.  I witnessed a burglary in progress, and STILL didn't think to call the cops until about 15 minutes after the fact.

arebelspy

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Re: My new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute…
« Reply #65 on: April 07, 2019, 02:33:46 PM »
MOD NOTE: Thread seems to have run its course. Locking thread. Good luck, OP.
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