Hoping to get some objective advice from the forum about a new job and cross country move.
I received a job offer from a SF Bay Area late(r) stage startup for 130K + free health insurance + 15K relocation + stock options. During the interview process I felt really good about it. My experience at larger orgs fits in well for where they want to go as they grow and the department head impressed me with their thoughtfulness on a few occasions. I visited for a week (1st time in SF) and overall enjoyed the area. I wouldn't say I'm dying to live there, but it seems nice enough in the quieter areas.
Since then I've been non-stop anxious about accepting. I'm in Denver now making 90K and it's been a nice place to start my career. It's a great place to live and I wouldn't be mad settling down here. Everything is very easy and fine. I work from home (rarely drive), like my apartment, enjoy the nearby park, have a favorite brewery nearby, etc. But I didn't quite create the group of friends I hoped to and overall I'm somewhat bored. My current job is easy, but still stresses me out because it's a very political and red tape heavy culture.
The SF job isn't really a raise after cost of living, but I would still be saving more than I am now. Possibly a lot more if I got a roommate in the east bay. So overall probably a plus for FIRE. Stock options, which I've mostly ignored, could also rapidly increase FIRE.
The issue is I've dealt with anxiety and maybe some depression for a few years. I'm functioning but not thriving. I think working from home the past year has let me cope/hide the worst effects. So this job offer (and really the move) has sort of revealed that maybe I'm not as OK as I thought. It's one thing to be nervous about moving, another to be panicked. Anytime the talent recruiter calls, I have to let it go to voicemail and call back when I'm more prepared.
Initially I thought this would be a great semi-fresh start. I could move to a new place and prioritize making friends this time, maybe accelerate my career, and just enjoy a new adventure. I moved to Denver with barely any thought or anxiety after undergrad. But now I keep thinking the stress of a move and not knowing anyone in SF could be debilitating. My lifestyle would also be less convenient in some ways. The new job isn't 100% WFH so more driving/public transit.
Anyone dealt with this type of situation? I hate to turn down a great opportunity but maybe I should accept I have a limitation and not push right now.