Author Topic: New Job(s), Which One to Take?  (Read 3245 times)

Kiwi Mustache

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New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« on: February 22, 2015, 07:31:37 PM »
Hi,

I'm 26 years old, male, live in New Zealand, live with my 27 year old fianc'e (getting married February 2016) and am coming to the end of a two year management program through my employer in a couple of months. We live in rental accommodation and own a seperate investment property together in the same city. We will keep this as a rental and don't plan to live in it.

My employer has three main cities where our large offices are held and there are jobs going in all three that I could potentially take. I have both career and lifestyle decisions that I need to base the choice on. Options are below.

Option A-
- Role is in the same city I live in and is 2km from our current house we live in. This is a huge plus. Position is more sideways step to the career progression I want to head towards, but I've worked with this team before and enjoyed the work and atmosphere. The work is challenging enough to keep me occupied and learning in the role for at least 12 months. After 12 months or so, I can see myself getting restless and wanting to move up another level.

Option B-
- Role is in a city 1.5-2 hours drive away. I would most likely live in this city during the week and then drive back every Friday night to spend the weekend with my to be wife and be able to socialize with family and friends. I would then drive back every Sunday night or Monday morning to go back to work. This role is in our newest office and there are more opportunities to learn, grow and improve my career skillset. This is where our company is putting a lot of resources with talented people and money into.

Option C-
- Role is in the opposite side of the country 2 days drive and 3 hour flight. Myself and my fianc'e would have to relocate everything completely and set up a new life in a new city. We wouldn't know anyone there. We would fly back 1-2 times a year to visit family. This role is the role I've been hoping to get in my current city but there are currently no openings. This wouldn't side track my career and would allow me to move up in the company faster.

I also have to take into account that my fianc'e is likely to get promoted at her work, her family is in our current city and she would be definitely against option C and would prefer option A.

In the near future, roles such as option C would come up in my current city, but the office that has these sorts of roles is rougly 40km away from where we currently live, meaning if I took my dream role, it would mean a 2-2.5 hour daily commute, which I'm obviously not keen on doing. We would potentially move closer to this office, but then we would move equally further away from my fianc'es work at the same time.

I'm trying to balance my career ambitions, living close to work, spending as much time with my future wife and family/friends as possible and not spending hours of time in traffic (which I hate).

Thoughts?

How to balance career and life?

johnny847

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2015, 08:00:23 PM »

Option B-
- Role is in a city 1.5-2 hours drive away. I would most likely live in this city during the week and then drive back every Friday night to spend the weekend with my to be wife and be able to socialize with family and friends. I would then drive back every Sunday night or Monday morning to go back to work. This role is in our newest office and there are more opportunities to learn, grow and improve my career skillset. This is where our company is putting a lot of resources with talented people and money into.
My father's work situation changed about a year ago into such a commute situation. My mom hated it and complained that he was never home. So now my dad drives out Monday morning, sleeps there, and comes back Tuesday evening. He drives out Wednesday morning, sleeps there, and comes back Thursday evening. He just commutes on Fridays.
My dad does not appreciate this commute, but he says oh I'm retiring next year. Which I find to be weird because I'm 95% certain my parents were FI several years ago....but I digress.

I agree with my parents, situation B sucks. I would recommend against this one. You either end up doing a commute like my dad does now, or you put an incredible amount of strain on your relationship with your fiance.

As for choosing between A and C, one question I have for you is how difficult do you imagine it will be to keep your rental going if you were to move away? Do you manage it directly or through a management company?

choppingwood

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2015, 08:26:21 PM »
I've done all three at different times. Some thoughts:

Option A is really mustachian and really easy. In twelve months, though you will be getting married and then getting used to being permanently together and then having kids and buying a house, and there may never be an easy time to do what you need to do to move ahead. And your then wife may be very used to deciding that things ought to go her way, not yours. (This may be very unfair to your fiancÚ, since I only know anything about this situation.)

Option B is something I've been doing for the last three years. I like driving and I like both places that I live and for a lot of the three years I have liked the work I do, but it is tiring and quite isolated. Lots of people in my part of the world do this, but you need to set a timeline around how long you would do this for.

Option C isn't really the catastrophe that you think it might be. As you get to your late twenties and thirties, you'll find people don't end up living near their families or near their friends from their twenties. The new city has lots of great people whose main fault at this point is that you and your fiancÚ haven't met them yet. You could take some time for her to look at possible job prospects there and look at neighbourhoods near the job and her possible job prospects. Although you may only travel a couple of times a year back to your current city, some of those people can come to visit you too. I've done major moves repeatedly and haven't had one that wasn't worth doing in one way or another. None of my long-term friends, though, live in the cities where I met them - and neither do I!

And these aren't necessarily your only options. Other companies, other openings may come up over time. But I do think you are your fiancÚ need to talk about how much you're going to support each other in career decisions, as well as in other life decisions.

All the best. What an exciting stage you are at!

willow

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2015, 08:31:42 PM »
Situation B sounds awful. You'll get tired of spending entire weeks away from your wife very quickly.

27y/oTennesseeRetiree

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2015, 09:59:19 PM »
A.

B sucks... I've done it. You burn up the extra money on the road and maintaining a separate residence.

C is unrealistic, in addition to the fact that your soon to be wife doesn't support that choice you have no support system there. Also you have a rental across the country to deal with too. The only way I would take this job is if your company agreed to give you the next promotion spot in the city you are in now. That being said... If they will do that why not ask for it and take the current lateral move. (Did I mention your fiance already vetoed this option.)

I would do A for 12 months. Get married and reevaluate then.

JetsettingWelfareMom

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2015, 10:46:58 PM »
Option A is the path of least resistance...

Kiwi Mustache

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2015, 12:08:39 AM »

As for choosing between A and C, one question I have for you is how difficult do you imagine it will be to keep your rental going if you were to move away? Do you manage it directly or through a management company?

Thanks for the case study of your Dad, makes it seem like a real drag with option B.

Our investment property is managed by a really competent rental management company, so our input wouldn't change regardless of where we lived.

Kiwi Mustache

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Re: New Job(s), Which One to Take?
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2015, 12:10:53 AM »
A.

B sucks... I've done it. You burn up the extra money on the road and maintaining a separate residence.

C is unrealistic, in addition to the fact that your soon to be wife doesn't support that choice you have no support system there. Also you have a rental across the country to deal with too. The only way I would take this job is if your company agreed to give you the next promotion spot in the city you are in now. That being said... If they will do that why not ask for it and take the current lateral move. (Did I mention your fiance already vetoed this option.)

I would do A for 12 months. Get married and reevaluate then.

Fantastic advice. I really appreciate this reply. This is absolute gold.