The Money Mustache Community
Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: Cossack on August 16, 2017, 05:18:52 PM
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I have written a book which is similar to Mustachian concepts except some things like retiring with 5 young kids. If I had known how much time and effort it would take over the last 4 years I am not sure I would ever have started. But anyway after some serious editing and re-editing it is finally ready for people to read.
A couple of things:
1. Can you let me know what you think of the title and subtitle?: The Finance Liberation: The Six Steps to Financial Freedom Revealed
(I have the domain name financeliberation.com, hoping to have it as a brand name. What about Personal Finance Liberation?)
2. I’m looking for some beta readers who will give me their honest feedback about the book. In return, I will give you a copy of the book with a page added to acknowledge your help.
Here is the Blurb:
Why do you want to retire when you are old when you can retire years or even decades earlier? This book reveals the “finance liberation” model, a secret six step process that sets you up for financial freedom in a short amount of time.
This step by step guide to financial freedom teaches:
– How David and family managed on one low wage to become financially free in a few short years
– How to travel around the world and still gain wealth
– How to achieve your personal dreams as well as your financial ones
– The one key to success in every area of your life
If you are interested to be a beta reader or if you have comments about the title, please let me know below
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I'll read it and give some feedback. I wrote down some thoughts on personal finance a couple years ago and it turned into 100 pages or so. Still haven't done anything with it. At first glance, the words "secret" and "revealed" sound gimmicky, just my thought. Interested to read and hear others feedback!
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Thanks Bikesy. I just sent you a PM
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Sounds interesting! I agree about the gimicky language. I can read it over if you want.
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I'm game to read it and give you feedback.
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I'd also like to read it. It sounds intriguing to me.
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I'm game to read it and give you feedback.
Thanks dcozad999 and slappy. I have sent you a PM
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Sounds interesting. Would love to read and give feedback.
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Sounds interesting. Would love to read and give feedback.
Thanks Carozy and firelight I have sent you a PM.
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I can give you some feedback as well, if you still need a beta reader.
Either way, congrats on getting this far!
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The family thing is fresh - you should include it in the title or subtitle.
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The family thing is fresh - you should include it in the title or subtitle.
Thanks for the feedback Genevieve and lbmustache I have PMed you
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I'd be willing to read it, I have 3 kids myself and I think there is a big information gap between FIRE and FIRE w/more than 1 kid, so hearing about how you FIRE'd w/more than 1 child I think is a great market. We've been paying more in daycare the last 6 years than our mortgage costs, it's incredible to think what our savings would be w/o kids (that I love and wouldn't trade in for anything :)
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I'd give it a read and share with you my honest feedback.
regarding the title: it sounds "clickbait-y", which I've never cared for. It also doesn't reveal anything about your own story which, if I am understanding you correctly, is the focus of this book. An alternative might be "Financial Liberation: how we gained financial independence on a modest income while raising five wonderful kids."
ok... that title's still not fleshed out, but is (IMO) much closer to your subject matter and less gimicky.
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I'd give it a read and share with you my honest feedback.
regarding the title: it sounds "clickbait-y", which I've never cared for. It also doesn't reveal anything about your own story which, if I am understanding you correctly, is the focus of this book. An alternative might be "Financial Liberation: how we gained financial independence on a modest income while raising five wonderful kids."
ok... that title's still not fleshed out, but is (IMO) much closer to your subject matter and less gimicky.
Thanks for the feedback.
I think I am going to have to change it as most have pointed out.
I have sent you a PM
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I'd give it a read and share with you my honest feedback.
regarding the title: it sounds "clickbait-y", which I've never cared for. It also doesn't reveal anything about your own story which, if I am understanding you correctly, is the focus of this book. An alternative might be "Financial Liberation: how we gained financial independence on a modest income while raising five wonderful kids."
ok... that title's still not fleshed out, but is (IMO) much closer to your subject matter and less gimicky.
I agree about the click-baity sound of the title. I think some of the best titles have some sort of theme. Like "Financial Family Fitness" or "The Smith Family's Financial Life: How a family of 7 found a new way to life on the path to FIRE".
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I agree about the click-baity sound of the title. I think some of the best titles have some sort of theme. Like "Financial Family Fitness" or "The Smith Family's Financial Life: How a family of 7 found a new way to life on the path to FIRE".
Thanks for the feedback.
It isn't really the focus of the book. The book is more of a general way that anyone can FIRE. But that is a great idea.
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I also have five young kids and just a single income so it sounds intriguing. I'm not a big fan of list type titles/subtitles as it smacks too much of clickbait as others have pointed out.
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I also have five young kids and just a single income so it sounds intriguing. I'm not a big fan of list type titles/subtitles as it smacks too much of clickbait as others have pointed out.
I have sent you a PM
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I'll be happy to read and offer feedback.
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If it really is a secret six-step program will I endanger my security clearance or eligibility for security clearance by reading it?
You may think that is a bit silly, but you don't know what these counter-intel types are like.[
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If you need more readers, I'll do it.
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"Finance Liberation" doesn't grab me as a book title -- it takes a few seconds of cognitive processing. In other words the reading level is too high.
"Financial freedom" is a little more direct.
But what are the concrete words that really describe what your readers want? To me that would be "retire early" or "quit your job." So I'd work that type of phrasing into the title.
Those phrases will not only hook potential readers who want to leave work behind, but will also work better for search results (in search engines, on Amazon, or wherever you're selling the book online).
I would avoid the term FIRE in the title, as very few people will know what it means.
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One thing that sticks out is the cover.....Its terrible. Looks like the original Mein Kampf.
Good job and luck on the book though :)
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Title idea.
Gaining Financial Freedom
(With Five Kids on a Single Income)
I think having a picture of your family on the cover would be a good idea too. If I see that title with that cover I would be intrigued. At least enough to pick up the book or give it a second glance.
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I'd be game to read it if you are still looking for readers.
The comments here mirror my sentiments - the title and blurb sound gimmicky.
I think the personal story angle goes much farther. There are no shortage of financial "gurus" happy to sell you a book. What does yours offer that those don't? I think the family and small kids angle is your defining difference and from just a few comments here it is a welcome (and not often covered) viewpoint.
For me, any book or blog on FI is driven by the heart - the "why" of your FI, if you will. Did you want to be FI to spend time with/travel with/raise your kids? Family is one of the most compelling reasons (in my opinion) and would serve well as a focus for your book.
I don't know your 6 points, but fleshing them out in ways that apply to all with specifics as to how they apply to those with kids holds value that may or may not exist in another book. Even if you drop the "everyone" angle and focus on families I think you have a solid offering.
I agree with the comment about a picture of your family on the cover (and others sprinkled through the book). Photos and anecdotes create an emotional connection with your reader and give a face to your story. Imagine the MMM blog with only stock photos (or none at all). Would it hold the same interest? Show me your success in pictures (travel pics, maybe?) and your advice begins to hold more weight. Anyone can write about anything, but not everyone can prove it. The pictures foster trust. Why do I trust your advice enough to pay for a book you wrote on it? Because I want what you have - time/travel/etc with my kids.
In that vein - give a little (personal story/pictures) to get a little ($) - Make your reader feel like a friend and you will get farther. Give your reader a reason to trust your advice and your "program." Be the guy/gal next door that I can picture myself sitting next to at the park while our kids play and I will feel like your advice is more accessible.
In this day and age gimmicky titles feel like marketing or like someone looking for a quick buck. While I know full well that bloggers and authors are profiting from me I don't like to feel pandered to and am more likely to pass on titles/blogs that smack of it. Are your steps truly secret or unknown or are they steps I may already have an idea about but your personal story and experience could encourage or inspire me to successfully complete?
You also have a lot of alliterative option with all those F's - Financial Freedom Family Five - use that to your advantage. Could you narrow the steps to five to flow with that? I know, that's a lot to ask with a book you have already written. :)
Random Title Ideas:
Five Kids and Financial Freedom: Finding Success in Five Steps
Five Kids and Financial Freedom: Finding Success in Six Steps
Five Kids, Five Steps: Financial Freedom for Large Families
Five Kids, Six Steps: Financial Freedom for Large Families
Financial Freedom with Five Kids: How Our Family Did It and You Can Too
Five Kids and a Dream: Financial Freedom For Families
FI with Five: Family Focused Financial Freedom
Five Kids, One Income: Family Focused Early Retirement (this one is my favorite)
Five Kids, Two Incomes: Family Focused Early Retirement
So, maybe title writing is not my forte, ha. But I think you can do better than the current one.
Just my (slightly more than) 2 cents worth. :)
</edited for typos and flow, and to add some thoughts>
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I'd be happy to read it as well if you Aden still looking.
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I agree with mrmoneysaver: think in terms of search if your goal is to sell the book, especially if you're not using a traditional publisher. I imagine there are articles out there about title optimization that would be useful to your thinking.
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If it really is a secret six-step program will I endanger my security clearance or eligibility for security clearance by reading it?
You may think that is a bit silly, but you don't know what these counter-intel types are like.[
Awesome. Love it!
I'd be game to read it if you are still looking for readers.
The comments here mirror my sentiments - the title and blurb sound gimmicky.
I think the personal story angle goes much farther. There are no shortage of financial "gurus" happy to sell you a book. What does yours offer that those don't? I think the family and small kids angle is your defining difference and from just a few comments here it is a welcome (and not often covered) viewpoint.
For me, any book or blog on FI is driven by the heart - the "why" of your FI, if you will. Did you want to be FI to spend time with/travel with/raise your kids? Family is one of the most compelling reasons (in my opinion) and would serve well as a focus for your book.
I don't know your 6 points, but fleshing them out in ways that apply to all with specifics as to how they apply to those with kids holds value that may or may not exist in another book. Even if you drop the "everyone" angle and focus on families I think you have a solid offering.
I agree with the comment about a picture of your family on the cover (and others sprinkled through the book). Photos and anecdotes create an emotional connection with your reader and give a face to your story. Imagine the MMM blog with only stock photos (or none at all). Would it hold the same interest? Show me your success in pictures (travel pics, maybe?) and your advice begins to hold more weight. Anyone can write about anything, but not everyone can prove it. The pictures foster trust. Why do I trust your advice enough to pay for a book you wrote on it? Because I want what you have - time/travel/etc with my kids.
In that vein - give a little (personal story/pictures) to get a little ($) - Make your reader feel like a friend and you will get farther. Give your reader a reason to trust your advice and your "program." Be the guy/gal next door that I can picture myself sitting next to at the park while our kids play and I will feel like your advice is more accessible.
In this day and age gimmicky titles feel like marketing or like someone looking for a quick buck. While I know full well that bloggers and authors are profiting from me I don't like to feel pandered to and am more likely to pass on titles/blogs that smack of it. Are your steps truly secret or unknown or are they steps I may already have an idea about but your personal story and experience could encourage or inspire me to successfully complete?
You also have a lot of alliterative option with all those F's - Financial Freedom Family Five - use that to your advantage. Could you narrow the steps to five to flow with that? I know, that's a lot to ask with a book you have already written. :)
Random Title Ideas:
Five Kids and Financial Freedom: Finding Success in Five Steps
Five Kids and Financial Freedom: Finding Success in Six Steps
Five Kids, Five Steps: Financial Freedom for Large Families
Five Kids, Six Steps: Financial Freedom for Large Families
Financial Freedom with Five Kids: How Our Family Did It and You Can Too
Five Kids and a Dream: Financial Freedom For Families
FI with Five: Family Focused Financial Freedom
Five Kids, One Income: Family Focused Early Retirement (this one is my favorite)
Five Kids, Two Incomes: Family Focused Early Retirement
So, maybe title writing is not my forte, ha. But I think you can do better than the current one.
Just my (slightly more than) 2 cents worth. :)
</edited for typos and flow, and to add some thoughts>
Wow! Thank you so much for taking the time to write all that. I will mull all that over.
One thing that sticks out is the cover.....Its terrible. Looks like the original Mein Kampf.
Good job and luck on the book though :)
Haha. I just needed something quick. I will be getting something professional when I decide on the Title.
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The title and cover’s main job is to instantly communicate the expected reading experience. Readers are looking to either solve a problem or be entertained--meaning they generally have an idea of what they are looking for or would be interested in.
The title shouldn't be super intellectual -- if readers have to do any cognitive processing to understand if this book is what they are looking for, you've already lost them. It should be straightforward and direct and instantly communicate what readers should expect to learn about in your book. There are some exceptions to this rule, of course, but the vast majority of successful books follow this rule.
Your cover is along the same vein. It is not a piece of art, but a piece of packaging. If the reader cannot immediately tell what your book is generally about from the cover, the artwork has not done its (communication) job and needs to be replaced. I suggest taking a look at other covers for popular personal finance/self improvement books and get a feel for the "themes".
I haven't seen your cover, but I would agree that the title and byline are too cerebral and take a bit to figure out the direction you're trying to go.
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If We Can Do It, So Can You: Financial Freedom With Five Kids
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If you are still looking for readers, I am interested.
Agree with others that the title could benefit revision. I'm quite interested in your story but the title, at current, does not reflect (IMO). WTG narrative for all the title ideas.
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If you need more readers I am more than happy to jump in. I have also written a couple of books (they are academic ones...so totally different, but I can understand the process in what you are doing). Good luck no matter what.
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Happy to read and give feedback also if still needed.
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I agree about the title - it did not pull me in. But the subject matter -FIREd with 5 - would be of interest to me. Not as many resources out there for people trying to FIRE with many children.
If you need another reader, I'd be happy too.
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I think "narrative" has some good title ideas. I like "Five Kids and a Dream: Financial Freedom For Families" the best. Simpler is better.
I think some clickbaity language is good. There's a reason it's called clickbait. The only financial thing I see people "share" on Facebook is The Penny Hoarder, and it's exclusively clickbaity lists.
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I agree that the title needs work. I don't think there is anything wrong with "Financial Freedom:..." I would think that you would want to use more common words in your title for searches.
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I would like to pre-read and give feedback.
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I agree that the title needs work. I don't think there is anything wrong with "Financial Freedom:..." I would think that you would want to use more common words in your title for searches.
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I would like to pre-read and give feedback.
I have sent you a PM
I agree about the title - it did not pull me in. But the subject matter -FIREd with 5 - would be of interest to me. Not as many resources out there for people trying to FIRE with many children.
If you need another reader, I'd be happy too.
I have sent you a PM
Happy to read and give feedback also if still needed.
I have sent you a PM
If you need more readers I am more than happy to jump in. I have also written a couple of books (they are academic ones...so totally different, but I can understand the process in what you are doing). Good luck no matter what.
I have sent you a PM
If you are still looking for readers, I am interested.
Agree with others that the title could benefit revision. I'm quite interested in your story but the title, at current, does not reflect (IMO). WTG narrative for all the title ideas.
I have sent you a PM
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I think that defining "low wage" on the jacket blurb would be valuable.
Sometimes I read posts here and on other forums where the author explains how they've FIRE'd on a modest salary, but it turns out they make thrice what I do, and also received a few supplemental income boosts like an unexpected bonus or an inherited car along the way.
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I'm down to read it! Also, put me in the camp for a title change :-) Liberation is the subject, and "finance" can't be the adjective. "Financial Liberation" sounds good to me.
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Well I'm curious! I'll read it, if you still need readers :)
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I think that defining "low wage" on the jacket blurb would be valuable.
Sometimes I read posts here and on other forums where the author explains how they've FIRE'd on a modest salary, but it turns out they make thrice what I do, and also received a few supplemental income boosts like an unexpected bonus or an inherited car along the way.
That's a good point
Well I'm curious! I'll read it, if you still need readers :)
Sent you a PM
I'm down to read it! Also, put me in the camp for a title change :-) Liberation is the subject, and "finance" can't be the adjective. "Financial Liberation" sounds good to me.
Do you think Finance Liberation could be used as a brand or not?
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The title and cover’s main job is to instantly communicate the expected reading experience. Readers are looking to either solve a problem or be entertained--meaning they generally have an idea of what they are looking for or would be interested in.
The title shouldn't be super intellectual -- if readers have to do any cognitive processing to understand if this book is what they are looking for, you've already lost them. It should be straightforward and direct and instantly communicate what readers should expect to learn about in your book. There are some exceptions to this rule, of course, but the vast majority of successful books follow this rule.
Your cover is along the same vein. It is not a piece of art, but a piece of packaging. If the reader cannot immediately tell what your book is generally about from the cover, the artwork has not done its (communication) job and needs to be replaced. I suggest taking a look at other covers for popular personal finance/self improvement books and get a feel for the "themes".
I haven't seen your cover, but I would agree that the title and byline are too cerebral and take a bit to figure out the direction you're trying to go.
That's great advice. Thanks.
I'm thinking I will keep the domain financeliberation.com for branding, but use a different title for the book.
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I've made some big changes to the manuscript thanks to some great feedback.
Now, I am looking for a few more readers. Let me know if you are interested.
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I was going to make the same type of suggestions as narrative. Play on the letter "F".
I would be interested in reading and providing feedback.
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I was going to make the same type of suggestions as narrative. Play on the letter "F".
I would be interested in reading and providing feedback.
Cool. Thanks. I have sent you a PM.