Author Topic: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?  (Read 18070 times)

Winter's Tale

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Question for Mustachians who have been pregnant or whose partners have been pregnant.  I am in my first trimester of pregnancy (yay!) and having frequent nausea and aversions to lots of foods.  Normally, I am very disciplined about menu planning and cooking at home.  I'm struggling with this now, though, because it's tough to predict what foods will appeal to me and which ones will gross me out on any given day.  Cooking is also making me feel queasy.  Frequently, the only thing that really appeals to me will be some sort of takeout.  I'm trying to pick the healthiest options that I can, but I hate that we are ordering out so much.  Should I just accept this anti-mustachian behavior and hope I can get back on track once I'm in the second trimester?  Any advice would be appreciated.

oldtoyota

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2013, 07:47:05 AM »
My suggestion is to make sure you get enough protein. Protein cured my nausea quickly. YMMV.

If you are too sick to cook, a short time eating takeout is not the worst thing in the world.

Can your partner cook?

I followed this diet, and I did not have one health problem--no nausea, preeclampsia, etc. Nothing. The diet requires 8-;100 grams of protein per day. I used to knock out 24g with one cup of cottage cheese.

http://blueribbonbaby.org/healthy-pregnancy/brewer-diet-for-healthy-pregnancy/

savingtofreedom

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2013, 09:01:51 AM »
I am 16 weeks now and felt your pain.  We did up our eating out during this time as every week or so something either sounded delicious or horrible.  I have gotten better once I got past the first trimester.  I tried making some of the things that I was getting via takeout and in the end I didn't really find it worth it.  My husband helped some but he is not such a great cook.

Good luck and hopefully you will feel better soon!


Kazimieras

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2013, 09:21:02 AM »
My wife just passed out of the first trimester and she faced a similar problem, including the wanting to eat out, etc. We ended up having a lot more fish than normal (low food chain fish, so less mercury). Also Diclectin was a godsend for about a week, at least to get the nausea under control


I am going to challenge the blueribbonbaby link for its validity. There are no studies linked on the site, and frankly toxemia is a good bit of fear mongering. I have a rock that I am wanting to sell and it keeps away tigers, lions and killer sharks. I have never been attacked by any of these animals with this rock. Correlation is not causation.

cynthia1848

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2013, 09:22:40 AM »
I had the same problem.  It should only be for a short while; I would get takeout without guilt.

Also, Zofran was a MIRACLE when nothing else worked; it made me feel normal again.  Don't be shy about talking to your OB again and again and AGAIN if you are nauseated.

Myrmida

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2013, 09:38:01 AM »
Are there any particular aversions that you can know to avoid?  During my first pregnancy, even the thought of meat made me want to throw up (I ate a LOT of lentils).  I also had trouble going grocery shopping because even seeing other people's meat purchases made for a couple of close calls, vomit-wise.  At this point, your partner may have to do some of the food buying and preparing, or you may have to accept a few weeks of getting a bit of take-out or convenience foods as necessary.

For a few weeks, the only thing I could handle was very bland carbs, mainly potatoes.  I carried Tictacs with me everywhere because the mint taste helped to reduce the nausea, and they are very discreet if you haven't told people about your pregnancy.  If you are like me, the worst nausea doesn't start until about 6 weeks and usually passes by the time the second trimester starts, so it's really just 6 weeks.  The meat aversion stayed with me for my whole pregancy, though.

Also, congratulations!

Osprey

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2013, 09:41:30 AM »
Congratulations on the pregnancy! My advice would be to give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up over the takeout, it's only temporary and your body is going through a lot right now. And I agree with a cynthia1848, it's perfectly fine to ask your doctor for meds, as often as you need.

oldtoyota

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2013, 09:45:19 AM »
I am going to challenge the blueribbonbaby link for its validity. There are no studies linked on the site, and frankly toxemia is a good bit of fear mongering. I have a rock that I am wanting to sell and it keeps away tigers, lions and killer sharks. I have never been attacked by any of these animals with this rock. Correlation is not causation.

Will it make you feel better, Kazimieras, if the NIH agrees that protein can reduce nausea?

My first sentence said protein cured my nausea, and the link to the diet offers a protein-rich diet full of healthy foods.

"Protein-predominant meals reduced nausea and dysrhythmic activity to greater degrees than equicaloric carbohydrate and fat meals and noncaloric meals."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10516152
« Last Edit: August 26, 2013, 11:20:24 AM by oldtoyota »

KulshanGirl

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2013, 10:34:14 AM »
Just get the takeout and don't feel too bad.  My first trimester was all takeout spring rolls, all the time. I do wonder if the craving was just about getting more fats into my diet though. You crave what you need.  Maybe up the healthy fats at home. 

If you get up at night, go eat something while you're up.  The mornings after I did that were better than when I woke up with my stomach empty. 

I packed around Lemonheads candy and San Pellegrino Limonata.  The sour stuff helps a lot, it keeps your taste buds and nose occupied so you don't get grossed out by other people's food/random smells/your own spit.

I used Sea Bands on my wrists for a while.  Acupressure points for nausea.  Not sure how much it helped but I think it did a bit.

I also liberated a couple of empty coffee bags from the bulk section at the grocery store and carried one with me at all times.  I was always afraid that I'd barf while out and around, having the bag was peace of mind.  I never actually used one, but it made me feel batter to have it ready.

Congrats to you! 

Simple Abundant Living

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2013, 11:09:54 AM »
The main thing for me was to never let myself get too hungry.  I was always munching on dry crackers.  I also tried the sea bands, couldn't hurt. 

If it's the smell of something cooking, one solution might be to put a crockpot out in a garage or on a porch to cook all day.  If it doesn't sound good to you for dinner, freeze it (for when you feel better or when the baby comes!) and go get takeout.  Less guilt, because you've prepared a meal for another day!  Good luck!

KulshanGirl

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2013, 11:34:40 AM »
Also, why is this any more "off topic" than finding original art or what kind of groceries to have on hand?  I think that keeping mustachian in the throes of early pregnancy is something that should have stayed up in the "ask" section.   

Kazimieras

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2013, 11:36:45 AM »
I am going to challenge the blueribbonbaby link for its validity. There are no studies linked on the site, and frankly toxemia is a good bit of fear mongering. I have a rock that I am wanting to sell and it keeps away tigers, lions and killer sharks. I have never been attacked by any of these animals with this rock. Correlation is not causation.

Will it make you feel better, Kazimieras, if the NIH agrees that protein can reduce nausea?

My first sentence said protein cured my nausea, and the link to the diet offers a protein-rich diet full of healthy foods.

"Protein-predominant meals reduced nausea and dysrhythmic activity to greater degrees than equicaloric carbohydrate and fat meals and noncaloric meals."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10516152

I never questioned that part, I questioned the page where the information was obtained. It advertises that diet for:
"FOR THE PREVENTION OF TOXEMIA"
Which is not "prevention of morning sickness"

tooqk4u22

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2013, 11:53:21 AM »
Congratulations on the pregnancy! My advice would be to give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up over the takeout, it's only temporary and your body is going through a lot right now.

This.  We have 3 kids and DW was sick for 3 months like clockwork with each one - so whatever made her feel better WAS better.

What helped her by kid:

Kid #1 - McDonald's fries and milkshakes.
Kid #2 - tacos (swore the kid was going to come out hispanic)
kid #3 - steak (funny think is my little baby is major carnivore).

That said, just because mom-to-be eats out doesn't mean the rest of the family has to (unless the smells trigger it).

So who cares as long as you and baby are healthy and happy. 

Mrs WW

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2013, 12:18:51 PM »
Eat what you feel like, but go get acupuncture! With my second pregnancy i had acupuncture every second day and it removed all my nausea. Sundays when I hadnt had a treatment for three days, were hell, but with the next session it was gone. Had treatments from 6th week through the 16th. With baby no one i was so nauseous that the only thing i ate was a specific brand of bread. This got better in week 16, but by then i had lost 15 ponds and had to gain alot of weight for the baby, peanutbutter helped with that. With my second baby, i couldnt stand eggs. Once I even threw up from watching a cooking show where they cracked some eggs to make batter!

oldtoyota

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2013, 12:32:31 PM »
I am going to challenge the blueribbonbaby link for its validity. There are no studies linked on the site, and frankly toxemia is a good bit of fear mongering. I have a rock that I am wanting to sell and it keeps away tigers, lions and killer sharks. I have never been attacked by any of these animals with this rock. Correlation is not causation.

Will it make you feel better, Kazimieras, if the NIH agrees that protein can reduce nausea?

My first sentence said protein cured my nausea, and the link to the diet offers a protein-rich diet full of healthy foods.

"Protein-predominant meals reduced nausea and dysrhythmic activity to greater degrees than equicaloric carbohydrate and fat meals and noncaloric meals."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10516152

I never questioned that part, I questioned the page where the information was obtained. It advertises that diet for:
"FOR THE PREVENTION OF TOXEMIA"
Which is not "prevention of morning sickness"

Yes. The website about the healthy eating plan mentions toxemia. I did not.

I mentioned eating more protein to help with nausea. If you don't like the blueribbonbaby.com site, that is fine. Different strokes...


olivia

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2013, 01:08:09 PM »
Also, why is this any more "off topic" than finding original art or what kind of groceries to have on hand?  I think that keeping mustachian in the throes of early pregnancy is something that should have stayed up in the "ask" section.   

I agree, seems like a silly move.  The MMM forum gives off a non-female friendly vibe and moving this to off topic doesn't help with that impression.

EMP

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2013, 01:37:45 PM »
Congratulations on the pregnancy! My advice would be to give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up over the takeout, it's only temporary and your body is going through a lot right now. And I agree with a cynthia1848, it's perfectly fine to ask your doctor for meds, as often as you need.

another +1 here.  My baby is 3 months, and I rode my bike only a handful of times after the second semester.  I was afraid that I would slip back into bad, car-driving habits once the baby was born.  But it was temporary and I'm back to riding my bike to work 4 days a week. 

Survival is the important thing at this stage of pregnancy, IMO. 

EMP

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #17 on: August 26, 2013, 01:38:42 PM »
Also, why is this any more "off topic" than finding original art or what kind of groceries to have on hand?  I think that keeping mustachian in the throes of early pregnancy is something that should have stayed up in the "ask" section.   

I agree, seems like a silly move.  The MMM forum gives off a non-female friendly vibe and moving this to off topic doesn't help with that impression.

+1

Gin

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2013, 01:46:34 PM »
I also had morning sickness.  We had lots of take out during that time.    i kept crackers and ginger snaps in my purse and wore seabands.  Congratulations and good luck!!

KulshanGirl

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2013, 03:14:41 PM »
While the thread requesting weed-whacker recommendations is totally not off topic, of course.  ;) 


 

CNM

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2013, 03:20:37 PM »
I was also stricken with morning sickness.  But it wasn't confined to the morning, it was pretty much all the time.  Like others said, just eat what you can. 

Have you been able to identify some food items that are always OK to eat?  I found that I could always eat toasted bagels with cream cheese so I kept them at work and at home so I'd always have something.  I also went through a time when citrus fruits were appealing. 

Good luck!

N

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2013, 04:12:51 PM »
eat what you can.

I had pretty bad m/sness thru my first pregnancy, even till the last month, I threw up almost every day. I had a lot of aversions and a few cravings (pizza!)

fwiw, the second pregnancy, I was only sick for weeks 6-14 although I could not eat tomato sauce on anything the whole time. we ate out a ton (or bought prepared foods or frozen meals)

but after baby, felt fine cooking again.

hang in there.

KulshanGirl

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2013, 04:26:17 PM »
kid #3 - steak (funny think is my little baby is major carnivore).

Isn't that crazy?  I was a longtime vegetarian until I started trying for a baby.  I thought for sure I should be eating meat, so I started to and OMG steak = YUM.  People were shocked.

Then I got pregnant and what do you know.  AVERSION to meat.  And my daughter doesn't want anything to do with eating meat.  Figures!  Hehe. (Steak is so good.  Even though I'm mostly back to being a vegetarian.)

arebelspy

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #23 on: August 26, 2013, 05:14:27 PM »
The MMM forum gives off a non-female friendly vibe and moving this to off topic doesn't help with that impression.

Seriously?  What a negative way to look at things.

Someone asked it be moved to off topic.  One of the new moderators did so without thinking about it.  And you take it as an anti-female thing?  How about generosity of spirit and giving someone the benefit of the doubt?

I agree that this didn't need to be moved off topic, but politely asking why it was done might be a nicer way to live than assuming that it's because of a "non-female friendly vibe."

What a shame.
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snshijuptr

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2013, 05:29:44 PM »
I will +1 getting more protein and add that you should plan to eat CONSTANTLY! Like eat a bite every few minutes. The things that helped:

1) My husband made "chicken nuggets" for me. He cut up chicken breasts into nugget size, dipped in butter then added breading (potato flakes, bread crumbs, matzo meal, panko, etc) plus seasoning. He then baked. He would make a huge batch (like 4-5 breasts) at a time. I could just microwave these all day and snack.
2) Eggs! They really are a pregnancy super-food. They have a bunch of necessary animo-acids. I ate scrambled egg sandwiches with velveeta melted on top. They were quick to make.
3) Yogurt! Another super-food with both protein and calcium and pro-biotics. I ate plain yogurt with a little honey every night before bed. This staves off the morning part of the sickness. You can add granola or nuts for even more protein.

The most important thing is to constantly eat. Hunger is nauseating. Also drink a lot of water. This should be done constantly. Buy a large straw cup and keep it with you and full.

olivia

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #25 on: August 26, 2013, 06:54:30 PM »
The MMM forum gives off a non-female friendly vibe and moving this to off topic doesn't help with that impression.

Seriously?  What a negative way to look at things.

Someone asked it be moved to off topic.  One of the new moderators did so without thinking about it.  And you take it as an anti-female thing?  How about generosity of spirit and giving someone the benefit of the doubt?

I agree that this didn't need to be moved off topic, but politely asking why it was done might be a nicer way to live than assuming that it's because of a "non-female friendly vibe."

What a shame.

What was negative about my comment, exactly?  I pointed out that moving a female-focused thread to Off Topic didn't help the general non-female friendly vibe that the MMM forum has.  I didn't say "The MMM mods are the worst, they all hate women, fuck this place!"  Clearly I like posting here, I do it almost daily.

I fail to see what's shameful or negative about sharing the impression this move gave me.  And I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and accept that it was just a rookie mistake.

englyn

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #26 on: August 26, 2013, 08:14:06 PM »
I think that generalising from a suboptimal moderation decision to suggest that the whole forum has a non-female friendly vibe is pretty negative. I haven't noticed any such vibe and I read the forum a lot.
More on topic, hope your nausea improves soon!

kkbmustang

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #27 on: August 26, 2013, 08:35:45 PM »
Winters Tale-

I suffered horrible nausea with both my kids. The first pregnancy I was nauseous 24/7 until 16 weeks. The second pregnancy was the same until 20-21 weeks. It was awful. I tried everything. The only thing that really helped at all was keeping crackers by the bed, eating them a few minutes before I got up, then making sure my stomach never, ever got empty. I also tried not mixing food and liquid at the same time. Then, if I found a food I could tolerate, I'd stick with it. I went through phases where I'd eat the same thing every day for weeks. I didn't care if it was takeout or not. Survival is the name of the game.

There are some anti nausea or pregnancy pops you can try. http://www.threelollies.com/

Good luck and congratulations!

Edited to correct a string of horrible autocorrect/ipad typos.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2013, 09:41:19 AM by kkbmustang »

athomeintheworld

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2013, 09:22:11 PM »
Eat a "whole foods" diet as much as possible (real food, unprocessed, cooked at home etc etc).  Make sure you are getting enough protein. Watch your sugar intake. 

Acupuncture works wonders for all sorts of pregnancy related complaints.

Ginger (supplements or tea), peppermint tea, B6 supplements.

It will get better :)

Winter's Tale

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2013, 05:30:32 AM »
Thanks for the great advice, everyone.  I'm doing my best to eat healthy foods, and will do my best to make sure I'm getting enough protein.  It's reassuring to hear that, by all accounts, this is a phase that will pass!


EMP

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #30 on: August 27, 2013, 07:43:09 AM »
Eh, protein made me sick as a dog. I lived on pasta and potatoes during the worst of my nausea. Once you find what works for you, just go with it.  This too will pass. Just don't use it as an excuse to ditch the frugal lifestyle.

Carrie

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #31 on: August 27, 2013, 08:40:22 AM »
I just increased the food budget for a few months until I could get a handle on what to eat.  I ate a lot of cottage cheese, yogurt, fruit & salads at the beginning, eventually changing it out for tons of steak around month 4/5 (I guess the baby needed iron!).  Chicken was always bad for me, but I could do eggs no problem. 
Last pregnancy our normal grocery budget was $400/mo.; but the pregnant grocery budget was $800/mo!  The breastfeeding budget is not much better, but at least there's the weight loss and no formula expense.

Myrmida

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #32 on: August 27, 2013, 08:40:42 AM »
Eh, protein made me sick as a dog. I lived on pasta and potatoes during the worst of my nausea. Once you find what works for you, just go with it.  This too will pass. Just don't use it as an excuse to ditch the frugal lifestyle.

^^I was the same.  I could handle lentils, but meat was my worst aversion.

homeymomma

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #33 on: August 27, 2013, 09:00:27 AM »
OH man! I remember those days so well! I'm sorry it's hitting you so bad. I was 20 weeks before I was able to eat anything, and it took until 30 weeks before I had any appetite at all or gained a single pound.

I took to having lots of semi-prepared foods handy. Cheese, frozen chicken nuggets, yogurt, protein bars, fresh fruit, already cooked rice or pasta. It helped to have things I could have just a single portion of when the mood struck. It rarely worked out to make a big, hot dinner at 7pm. The husband is a good cook so he didn't mind fending for himself. I'd suggest letting your cravings send you out to the grocery store instead of out to a restaurant or take-out. If you HAVE to have, say, Panera's mac-n-cheese, maybe have it once, then plan to get mac-n-cheese fixins at the grocery store the next time you go? That way you'll be prepared when the craving strikes again.

I know it's a tricky time. Maybe you can increase your grocery/food budget for a few months, within reason, so you feel like you can splurge up to a certain point but still stay on target with your budget.

Another unrelated note - if you do decide to go with Zofran, remember to ask your provider for a simultaneous prescription for a stool softener. It's not the loveliest of topics, but I wouldn't wish the inevitable consequences of not taking one on my worst enemy!!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

sassy1234

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #34 on: August 27, 2013, 12:58:01 PM »
I am experiencing the same thing right now!  Indian and Thai food just makes me feel better, guilty pleasure I guess.  Hopefully it will stop in the 2nd trimester.  Until then, I am not going to stress out over it.  Too many other things to worry over. 

sassy1234

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #35 on: August 27, 2013, 01:41:54 PM »
I am going to second the anti-female thing on this blog.  I enjoy this blog, but there are a lot of close minded people here.   

Example:  here is a quote from another post today.  It was discussing the value of diamond rings for weddings.   

"I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society." 

Most people just ignore comments like this, which is fine, but in others ways, they support the statements by not saying anything.  I am going to start speaking up about this myself. 

EMP

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #36 on: August 27, 2013, 01:54:55 PM »
I am going to second the anti-female thing on this blog.  I enjoy this blog, but there are a lot of close minded people here.   

Example:  here is a quote from another post today.  It was discussing the value of diamond rings for weddings.   

"I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society." 

Most people just ignore comments like this, which is fine, but in others ways, they support the statements by not saying anything.  I am going to start speaking up about this myself.

Thank you!  I was thinking I was crazy because this bothered me so much.

The MMM forum gives off a non-female friendly vibe and moving this to off topic doesn't help with that impression.

Seriously?  What a negative way to look at things.

Someone asked it be moved to off topic.  One of the new moderators did so without thinking about it.  And you take it as an anti-female thing?  How about generosity of spirit and giving someone the benefit of the doubt?

I agree that this didn't need to be moved off topic, but politely asking why it was done might be a nicer way to live than assuming that it's because of a "non-female friendly vibe."

What a shame.

And perhaps calling it a non female friendly vibe was not the best way to say "I feel marginalized", but I believe that was the sentiment. 

And shaming someone for feeling marginalized?  That generosity of spirit thing goes both ways. 

FWIW, I don't think anyone's out to be a jerk, I just think the issue might be invisible to some of the men here.  Just trying to point that out. 

etselec

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #37 on: August 27, 2013, 03:15:34 PM »
And shaming someone for feeling marginalized?  That generosity of spirit thing goes both ways. 

FWIW, I don't think anyone's out to be a jerk, I just think the issue might be invisible to some of the men here.  Just trying to point that out. 

Well said.

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Here we go again.
« Reply #38 on: August 27, 2013, 03:17:44 PM »
This is my fourth try writing this post in a productive way. Hopefully I'm close enough to the correct tone this time that I don't antagonize anyone, because that's really not my goal.

It is a much more productive mindset to let it roll off your back and write it up to an honest mistake, especially when the mod responsible said as much and apologized, than to condemn the entire community as biased against your gender. If you do choose to view this as part of a "general non-female friendly vibe" on the forum, it's much more constructive to point out specific language you minded and why, so that posters can try and correct it, and much less productive to insult them as "close minded" without even mentioning what offends you. Finally, if you are going to say that something offends you, keep in mind that it offends you, as an individual, not you, a gender of four billion people. I don't speak for all members of my gender as I type this, and you don't speak for all members of your gender when something crosses your line of unacceptability. When you post, you can choose which mindset to take in each situation. I think it's pretty clear which one will leave you happier at the end of the day, having a frosty beverage of your choice on your porch at sunset, and which will leave you still on the computer shaking your fist at imaginary internet demons at eleven at night.

The way I see it, unwillingness to view things charitably on behalf of everyone seems like the reason that this site's discussion of gender keeps getting shriller and shriller.

olivia

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #39 on: August 27, 2013, 03:20:20 PM »
I am going to second the anti-female thing on this blog.  I enjoy this blog, but there are a lot of close minded people here.   

Example:  here is a quote from another post today.  It was discussing the value of diamond rings for weddings.   

"I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society." 

Most people just ignore comments like this, which is fine, but in others ways, they support the statements by not saying anything.  I am going to start speaking up about this myself.

Thank you!  I was thinking I was crazy because this bothered me so much.

The MMM forum gives off a non-female friendly vibe and moving this to off topic doesn't help with that impression.

Seriously?  What a negative way to look at things.

Someone asked it be moved to off topic.  One of the new moderators did so without thinking about it.  And you take it as an anti-female thing?  How about generosity of spirit and giving someone the benefit of the doubt?

I agree that this didn't need to be moved off topic, but politely asking why it was done might be a nicer way to live than assuming that it's because of a "non-female friendly vibe."

What a shame.

And perhaps calling it a non female friendly vibe was not the best way to say "I feel marginalized", but I believe that was the sentiment. 

And shaming someone for feeling marginalized?  That generosity of spirit thing goes both ways.

FWIW, I don't think anyone's out to be a jerk, I just think the issue might be invisible to some of the men here.  Just trying to point that out.

I agree completely.  I feel that as a whole, women on the MMM forum are treated as issues or barriers to FI.  Like "I'd have so much money if it wasn't for the wife, amirite?!"  It's absolutely marginalizing.  Perhaps that is a better way to express my feeling than saying there's a non-female friendly vibe, but I don't think saying there's a non-female friendly vibe is over the top.

Perhaps we should start a separate thread about the way women are spoken about and marginalized on the forums.  Although to be honest, arebelspy's response to my statement certainly doesn't give me hope that the concern will be taken seriously by the members, given that a moderator decided I was being negative and should be ashamed of myself for voicing my opinion.

arebelspy

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #40 on: August 27, 2013, 06:25:30 PM »
I am going to second the anti-female thing on this blog.  I enjoy this blog, but there are a lot of close minded people here.   

Example:  here is a quote from another post today.  It was discussing the value of diamond rings for weddings.   

"I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society." 

That's pretty terrible, and should be treated as such.  Nevertheless, generalizing it to the whole community is taking it a bit too far, I feel.  Especially when it came about because a new mod moved a topic when someone asked, didn't realize it was an issue, and moved it back and apologized for it, and stated he didn't mean anything by it.

I feel that as a whole, women on the MMM forum are treated as issues or barriers to FI.  Like "I'd have so much money if it wasn't for the wife, amirite?!"  It's absolutely marginalizing.  Perhaps that is a better way to express my feeling than saying there's a non-female friendly vibe, but I don't think saying there's a non-female friendly vibe is over the top.

There are threads like that, yes.  There are also threads where women go on and complain about their husbands having secret credit card debt, not sticking to the budget they agreed on, refusing to cancel the TV due to sports, etc.

I don't feel like that's anyone marginalizing the other gender in general, just ranting and blowing off some steam due to frustration with their significant other, regardless of gender.

There are also threads where people talk about and appreciate their significant other and their efforts, regardless of gender.  As I said about five months ago, in the Most Mustachian Thing You Have Ever Done thread: "Marrying someone even more Mustachian than me."

So again, I feel like generalizing that to the whole forum based on a few threads is a bit over the top, especially due to the fact that there are threads complaining about - and praising - both genders.

I may just interpret it differently than you though.


given that a moderator decided I was being negative and should be ashamed of myself for voicing my opinion.

Nowhere did I say you should be ashamed of yourself. You absolutely should not be ashamed of yourself for voicing an opinion.

I said it was a shame that you decided to take the moving of the post in such a negative way.  Something being "a shame" is not the same as saying someone should be "ashamed." (I just double checked to make sure autocorrect didn't change my "what a shame" to "ashamed." Nope.  Not sure how you got that.)

Also, FWIW, I was speaking as a person, not a moderator.  I try to do fancy bolding and such when I speak as a moderator (sometimes I do forget though.  I apologize. I am a person, not just a moderator).

I agree that the threads that blame women are unfortunate.  As are the ones that blame men. Or anyone else, for that matter.  I actually feel this board is fairly enlightened on the topic, though to be fair I don't read every thread, and the ones like diamond wedding ring ones go completely off my radar unless someone clicks "report post."  It's not something that interests me.  Had someone reported the post quoted above, I'd have gone on and put on my mod hat and told them not to be a jerk, which they were being.

As I said in the "Forum Tone" thread a few weeks back, it's up to users to be positive and report things that they feel cross the line.  Apparently no one did, with that instance.  What a shame*.

(*Note: no one, save perhaps the poster who said the quote, should feel ashamed.)

There ARE times when misogynistic comments are made.  This happened in a thread three days ago.  Someone reported it, and I made a comment regarding marty's comment, asking people to ignore it, and making it clear that sort of comment was not okay.

I'm not sure how much more can be done if posts aren't reported, a new moderator isn't given the benefit of the doubt, and people just want to argue.

/shrug

Again, I see it as a shame.
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apennysaved

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #41 on: August 27, 2013, 09:29:56 PM »
Back to the original post.  I am in my 7th month of my pregnancy.  The first trimester was the worst for me.  I craved Sonic grilled cheese and often sent my husband on a Sonic run by CAR, nonetheless, (Sonic is less than a mile away) because I wanted the grilled cheese NOW!!! God bless him.  Fortunately, he is into healthy eating, so he would then cook my daughter and himself a healthy meal.  I also just limited it to the grilled cheese vs. making it a meal and would find something else to round out the meal at home once the initial nausea subsided.

Just do what you can do at this time and in the long run it probably won't set you back that much. In my second trimester I felt much better and went back to riding my bike with my 3 year old in the bike cart running errands.  People gave me the strangest looks and some people even commented that I shouldn't be biking in my condition.  Whatever! My doctor said as long as I felt good and didn't exert myself, I was actually in great shape.  Again, do what you can when you feel well enough to do it.

Now that I am in my final trimester, I am backing off the bike (hotter then Hades in Houston!) Instead, I am really trying to focus on other ways to save and not get consumed in the baby craze:
1. "shopping" ahead of time on freecycle, Craigslist, and asking friends for used baby items (we are having a boy this time)
2.  I got the majority of my maternity clothes from friends who don't plan to have any more children or I am borrowing clothes.  So far I only had to buy a swimsuit.  I borrowed clothes with my first child and had to give them back.
3.  Started couponing more.  I thought we were doing well, but we have managed to cut even more. 

Hope this helps and best of luck!


mm1970

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #42 on: August 27, 2013, 10:10:08 PM »
Good suggestions here...if you can cook big batches of food when you feel like it, have your husband cook, and eat constantly, you'll survive.

Otherwise: takeout.

I had nausea from 6 to 12 weeks with both pregnancies.  I had to eat almost constantly.  Soooo not good for the first trimester weight gain, either time.  Ugh.

I craved carbs.

sassy1234

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #43 on: August 28, 2013, 08:32:42 AM »
Arebelspy, very nice response.    Although, it is still hard to ignore the anti-female tone on this blog as a whole.  By no means does that include everyone, not even the majority.  The minority comes through very strong and clear though.  And I am not one to play the sexism card.  I just thought I needed to say something about it.  My comment has nothing to do with you moving the original post, it just triggered something that I have noticed for some time now.  Especially on blogs where things can be interpreted incorrectly, I do give people the benefit of the doubt.  But the diamond/women comment is pretty clear, and that comment does not stand alone.   

Back to the original topic now...

SisterX

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #44 on: August 29, 2013, 02:52:11 PM »
First of all, congrats!  Pregnancy has been both better and worse than I expected.  (I'm 29 weeks.)  I, too, suffered through the first trimester.  Not tons of nausea, thankfully, but heartburn, exhaustion like you wouldn't believe, and HORRIBLE food aversions.  I still get the food aversions once in a while, but they've mostly passed.  In the beginning, even when I could eat something I couldn't eat it more than once, so our usual habit of making a big meal and eating leftovers for a day or two had to go right out the window.  Sounds like you might be suffering from a bit of the same thing?  My husband and I are meal planners to, but for the first trimester we ended up doing lots of grocery trips so that I could wander around and see if I felt like eating anything.  Not the best solution, but it helped.  We kept takeout down to about once a week that way.
Someone else already mentioned it, but carbs were a lifesaver for me too.  Bland foods can really help with food aversions, and bread with a bit of nut butter or jam was my go-to when I was particularly hungry but nauseous/couldn't figure out what to eat.  I even resorted to buying cereal for breakfast, because I could eat it over and over again whereas my normal oatmeal made me want to vomit.  I figured the cost was well worth it, for a short time, to keep my breakfast down every day.
Mostly, don't beat yourself up.  Do what you have to do, because pregnancy is never quite what you expect.  Things will change from week to week.  And this phase will pass and then you can go back to eating the way you want to/are used to soon.  Good luck!

SisterX

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #45 on: August 29, 2013, 03:08:38 PM »
Also, +1 to apennysaved for biking while pregnant!  Me too (started again after the first trimester, though), but it helps that it's getting chilly in my area rather than hotter so I'm not in danger of overheating.  I plan to bike right up until it gets too icy to be safe.  One note: now that I'm looking more like a land manatee than a person, my belly really presses on my lungs and it's harder to draw a deep breath.  Best if you have/have access to a bike that seats you in a more upright position rather than leaning forward.  I haven't really noticed many balance issues, however, which people warned me about.  Just be safe, pregnant and cycling mustachians.

MrsPete

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #46 on: August 29, 2013, 04:28:07 PM »
You need to experiment and see what helps your mornings sickness most, but also be aware that sometimes you'll just lose this battle.  Regardless, this isn't forever, no matter how hard that is to remember.   What helped me most was having some form of grain in my stomach -- oatmeal, toast, crackers, whatever -- before I touched any liquid.  I know it doesn't make sense. 

Like a couple people, I couldn't handle meat during my first pregnancy . . . And I gave birth to a child who never really liked meats, and now as an adult is a vegetarian.  My own taste for meat returned soon after her birth.  Weird, I know. 

I don't know that I'd say this thread is anti-woman, but it definitely has a pro-masculine slant and isn't overly friendly. 

teen persuasion

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #47 on: August 31, 2013, 08:55:29 PM »
I always had morning sickness during my first trimesters, then it either went away, or I'd learned to head it off. I've learned to never allow myself to get hungry - that lead to a downward spiral of nausea/can't eat/more nausea.  For me, well-toasted bagels with lots of butter as soon as I got up in the morning were necessary; then I felt pretty normal and could eat most things, though I lost my taste for milk while pregnant.

I feel like my morning sickness was an exaggerated response to my blood sugar getting too low.  The old standby of saltine crackers before getting up only made things worse for me - once I'd hit on the buttered bagels, I realized I needed the fat with the carbs to keep my blood sugar more even, not spiking up and crashing down.  I also agree with other posters on eating frequently, again to keep your blood sugar on an even keel. 

I can remember one summer when I was pregnant w/ DS#5 and hauling the other kids to swim lessons - I'd be snacking on PB & crackers as I walked in the door at 9 am, after having had bagels and breakfast.  Then I'd be in the pool w/ DS#4 (prek class w/ parents), and working on lunch before 11 am.  I felt like a hobbit: first breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses...

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #48 on: September 01, 2013, 09:56:29 AM »
I've never been pregnant, but I have severe migraines and the only thing that will calm the nausea is candied ginger or ginger tea.

For ginger tea, I just put chopped fresh ginger root with a little lemon and honey in a mug, and then fill with hot water.  It's also very tasty! 

pbkmaine

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Re: Nausea During Pregnancy --> Lots of Take Out - Solutions or Tips?
« Reply #49 on: September 01, 2013, 10:19:06 AM »
Also, don't worry so much about the antimustachian part of it. This is a temporary situation. Do what you need to do to get through, within reason. The same thing when you are a new mom. If it keeps you healthy and sane and does not cost the earth, do it. One of my most mustachian friends had a baby nurse for two weeks after her firstborn. She was living far from friends and family and was feeling terribly inadequate. She still says today, many years later, that this saved her sanity and made her a better mom.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2013, 04:52:25 PM by pbkmaine »