I posted here years ago, and have lurked ever since. I was considering doing a case study, but honestly, financially we are doing OK. And our ultimate goal has never been 100% FI. I'm planning to drop into working as a staff nurse for 16hrs a week instead of full-time in the next 1-2 years when we have kids, and we're doing great on saving for that (both 401ks maxxed, and I just hit 6 figures on my personal combined retirement savings). I feel I'm in a much better position than many of my peers who happened into SAHP, especially since I'll be able to keep my career on a reduced schedule (and hopefully bring in income while avoiding the dreaded daycare $$).
I'd like my dear XY (husband of nearly 5 years) to take the idea of FI or part-time work more seriously, though, because honestly, he's got the worst time management skills of anyone I know. The man is brilliant...and SLOW. EG: He sleeps 5-7 hrs most work nights but insists on a siesta till noon most weekends (yeah, that's ending when we have kids). He takes a 40-45 minute shower every morning. He gets overwhelmed by tasks I find simple like cooking or cleaning, because he wants them done perfectly. He does a fabulous job every where he's worked (currently in IT, Systems Administration), but he ends up working very long hours and can't contribute to the housework, let alone take on hobbies outside of video games or TV watching (about an hour of such screen time per day), or long walks with me (we get in about 3 miles together each weekend), because he is behind (by months and years) on the various DIY IT projects he has going around the house (a UPS for our personal server, for example), and for help our parents ask of him on their electronics. I love him, and I love the pace he approaches life with (not so much the 45 minute showers, but the attention to detail and careful consideration are a great balance to my quick-to-jump-to-conclusions thinking), but at the same time the man is exhausted, overweight, and in serious time-debt.
Our non-mortgage debts are cleared, and our mortgage is pretty puny ($94.5K at 3.75%). We spend about $2250/month combined outside of mortgage and condo assessments, and save $1500-$2000/month outside of 401Ks (variable due to work differentials and bonuses). If we were spending the way I'd like to, we'd be closer to $1500/month spending outside of mortgage and assessments, and saving more like 50% or 60% of our income after 401ks, rather than our current 30% (which is right now going toward a Wealthfront fund that we are planning to use for a down payment on our next place, a single family home in our high COL city).
XY might have an opportunity to get a significant pay increase if he pursues a management position. His old employer actually floated the idea of hiring him back to take over as an IT director, and I can't help but think of the $$ increase that would magically jump up our savings rate without changing our current spending. XY hates the idea, however, because he'd potentially have even less time as a manager than he does in his current non-management position. But if he were actively pursuing FI he'd only have to work another 7-10 years, even with kids, me earning less, and a higher mortgage. Or he could work at the higher paid position for 4 years and then drop back down, right? I feel like XY is blind to the potential and thinking only of today, without realizing the impact that poor time management today is what's ruining his future (and current) free time.
I'm hoping to move into school nursing eventually when our kids our school age, so that I can have the summers off and be with them. My dream would be to convince XY that by the time our kids our school age, that we can earn enough from renting out our current condo and any dividends we may have saved that he can join his family on a fun "sabbatical" each summer. For that, though, he'd have to drop to contract work, and he's worried that if he takes long breaks of 3-6 months in IT, he won't be hire-able when he wants to return to the workforce. So then I propose FI, and he tells me he likes working (?). I feel like we go round & round on this conversation to various extents, and he never really gets what I'm trying to say (which is ultimately, to give him the drive I see in frugal people like MMM or the FrugalWoods who are aggressively pursuing FI).
TL:DR: Is contract work for 6 months on, 6 months off an option in IT/systems administration or programming? Will those of you with crystal balls tell me if it’ll still be an option in 7-12 years? And, how do you deal with your SO's time debt? (outside of everything I already do, which is 90% of non-IT housework/maintenance/decorating, 95% of cleaning, 100% cooking joint meals, and 70% joint laundry. On my nastiest days I feel like a nagging mom instead of a spouse, though I still manage to have outside of work hobbies. This is also why I need to switch to part time when we have kids, so that I can actually enjoy myself/my kids.)