Thank you, Mustachians, for the thoughtful replies, sympathy, and advice over the past 24 hours.
This afternoon I had a heart-to-heart with wife about the secret department store cards. Yes, there was more than one. There were two. She had bought gifts for the kids during the holidays. She is very contrite and we are paying one off in 30 days from our 'miscellaneous nonsense' budget category, and doing a balance transfer on the other to 0% interest — not as good as paying off I know, punch me in the face, Mustachians — but that's what we did this afternoon.
I forgot to mention one more bit of good news: I sold most gold last month and paid down some debt with that.
Ok, back to business. next step is to talk with daughter. I will convey your sense of conscience, rocksinmyhead. How can she sleep living off her parents retirement money?
Agree, lots of work to be done. Thank you, senior Mustachians.
I saw in an earlier post, $180k invested plus some land, and in your early 60s. Rough future. First thing is to pay off the credit card debt. It's a guaranteed return (interest savings). I would sell any assets you have (non-pre-tax) and pay against the cc debt.
You make a solid income, so investing won't be a problem for the next 10 years or so once you're out of debt.
You also need to get your wife/daughter on the same page. Have you shown them your budget/financial situation? They need to know how important this is, and how rapidly things need to change. I'm assuming you shielded them from some of the seriousness of your situation over the past 10-20 years?
I hate to say it, but at your age, you may not have too many working years left? Not sure what kind of work you do, but health can get in the way at any moment.
Good to hear you have already made some changes. Admitting you have a problem is step 1. Actually making some changes is a HUGE step forward.
I would cut the cable TV and landline, and switch your phone(s) to Republic/Aio wireless/other prepaid plans. That will save around $200 from those areas.
At this point, the most important thing is honesty. No more sugar coating your situation to the family.