From what you've told us here, some gentle face punches: your FUTURE hangs in the balance. You need to figure out some way, any way, to get the experience you need (even unpaid in a new place, with additional loans). Right now you are stagnating. Your degree WILL NOT EXIST. Your loans will have been WORTHLESS. Not having an income for a few months and taking on some debt will be so inconsequential in the long run compared to the salary increase possible with not staying a security guard. The longer you wait to finish this, the worse it looks to future employers and the smaller your internship pool gets. Looks at this as part of college, NOT as your first job if you must. You don't get paid for taking courses. Well, this is just another course. And you need it to finish.
....Thank you, I needed those gentle face punches.
Your right, I'll talk to my Dad and start looking at unpaid Internships as well, it's already been 10 full months since I finished all my courses.
At this point I really should accept the truth and look at unpaid internships as well.
If you know this, and you have taken this to heart, and you are still struggling to make yourself look and apply and care anymore? I highly recommend you seek counseling or speak to your doctor about the possibility of depression. The situation you are in right now- limbo, at the end of college, stuck living with parents but too scared to leave- is the same situation so many people have their first major episode of depression. And even if you're not clinically depressed, night shift security + volatile job + living with parents = social isolation and feeling adrift. I highly encourage you to make a change. Moving forward, even if you later regret some small particulars, is SO much better than feeling stagnant and stuck.
My first reaction was an instinctive dismissal, and when I examine my feelings I feel a hint of shame at even considering the thought and a spark of anger at the thought that someone thought me that week.
I just have to consider how I've dealt with my friends being depressed before, people who I've looked out for and people who've I've reached out through the Internet to consider that a horrible idea.
If your depressed that just means you need help, and I'm not above my friends in any shape or form.
If it happened to them it could happen to me, my first response is again to point out the differences between us, the biggest of which is that I have never touched any sort of recreational drug in my life including alcohol, but that doesn't mean it still couldn't happen to me.
I don't think I'm suffering depression, but I should still act as if it were a serious possibility and not dismiss it without carefully thinking about it.
Do the math.
How much would an unpaid internship cost you (minimum wage that you wouldn't make x #hrs needed to get degree - any $ you can make from doing part-time security guard work)?
Now: how much are you losing in potential salary my continuing to work a minimum wage job while holding out for a paid internship? (Salary with degree - minimum wage salary)
How many months would it take before you're losing more money by continuing to work minimum wage than you sacrifice with a short-term unpaid internship? If you've been hunting for a paid internship for that long, you've already lost more money than you are gaining by continuing to work the full-time security job. And you are falling further behind every day.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. When the best option doesn't appear, cut your losses and go with the next-best thing that allows you to move forward with your plans and goals.
I'm afraid I won't have time to do this for most of the week*, but I'll do the math as soon as I have spare time as I have a feeling it will help me quite a bit.
*Not sure I've mentioned the hours I'm currently working. As a Security Guard my shift often changes location but my most frequent one is a 2 and a half - 3 hour bus trip. I have a 10 hour shift and then another 3 hours to get home. When I arrive I cook myself a good breakfast of 3 eggs, 2 tomatoes and a quarter of an onion cooked in butter and then sleep for 6 hours and then get up to cook dinner and prepare lunch for work. I generally have an extra 20 minutes that I spend online going through forums and things similar.
I don't mind the commute to much, since I'm taking public transportation and am on my phone the entire time, generally reading a fiction book.
