My boss keeps refusing to give me a raise...

[MikeBear]

Well, I talked to him again today about a raise after I brought in another client. He basically told me that I make enough money and he isn't going to pay me more. For those who are wondering I make $500/week in a position that usually requires a college degree. He told me to go somewhere else if I wanted to make more money. I said you don't want me to go somewhere else and he said that he knows he doesn't. I am getting major mixed signals here. He ended the conversation by saying that he refused to talk about it any more. So what should I do? I guess I have no other option than to leave right?

He's your father, and he knows you. He's playing Poker and he's calling your bluff because he's dead-positive you will NEVER quit. He's got you under his thumb, and you are staying loyal to a person that apparently deserves no loyalty, father or not.

IF you are sure you can get paid more somewhere else (500/40hrs = $12.50 an hour! I can make more than that selling on Craigslist. In fact, I've already made $1,100 this week selling stuff, and have another $450 coming in tomorrow. JUST from Craigslist. That's $38.50/hour for 40 hours, and I only spent maybe 3 actual hours doing it)

GO NOW and live your life, find that better job. THAT will prove more to your father than anything else.

[Russ]

You have nothing to lose by leaving, since your father clearly doesn't respect you in the first place. Literally the only move for you is to GTFO.

[msilenus]

Well, I talked to him again today about a raise after I brought in another client. He basically told me that I make enough money and he isn't going to pay me more. For those who are wondering I make $500/week in a position that usually requires a college degree. He told me to go somewhere else if I wanted to make more money. I said you don't want me to go somewhere else and he said that he knows he doesn't. I am getting major mixed signals here. He ended the conversation by saying that he refused to talk about it any more. So what should I do? I guess I have no other option than to leave right?

You are not getting mixed signals.  Obviously he wants you to stay.  You knew that before the conversation.  That's not what the conversation was about.  The conversation was about whether or not he would give you a raise.  The only signal you're getting from him is that he's not going to give you a raise.  That signal is not mixed.  The signal-to-noise ratio is extremely high here.  You are not getting a raise if you stay.

Honestly, it sounds to me like the conversation went exceedingly well.  When you say that he told you flat out that you'd have to leave to get a raise, that makes it sound like he's not trying to emotionally blackmail you into staying, or string you along with promises that he won't ultimately be willing to keep.  This undermines some of the worst things someone reading your accounts might think about him, so I'm happy to hear it.  Not doing anything to muddy the picture is really quite excellent of him.  He's being honest and even fair with you.

In answer to your question: it is not quite correct that you have no other option than to leave.  Your only other option --the default option-- is to accept your current pay and stay.  Two crisp, clear, perfectly opposing options.  Him caving aside, you could really hope for nothing better.  I'm going to have to disagree a bit with Mr. Bear's assessment above, and suggest that your father is not playing poker with you.  Poker is a game of imperfect information.  Your information is as near to perfect as it gets in family-mixed-with-career situations.  That really is a blessing.

[PloddingInsight]

Well, I talked to him again today about a raise after I brought in another client. He basically told me that I make enough money and he isn't going to pay me more. For those who are wondering I make $500/week in a position that usually requires a college degree. He told me to go somewhere else if I wanted to make more money. I said you don't want me to go somewhere else and he said that he knows he doesn't. I am getting major mixed signals here. He ended the conversation by saying that he refused to talk about it any more. So what should I do? I guess I have no other option than to leave right?

You are not getting mixed signals.  Obviously he wants you to stay.  You knew that before the conversation.  That's not what the conversation was about.  The conversation was about whether or not he would give you a raise.  The only signal you're getting from him is that he's not going to give you a raise.  That signal is not mixed.  The signal-to-noise ratio is extremely high here.  You are not getting a raise if you stay.

Honestly, it sounds to me like the conversation went exceedingly well.  When you say that he told you flat out that you'd have to leave to get a raise, that makes it sound like he's not trying to emotionally blackmail you into staying, or string you along with promises that he won't ultimately be willing to keep.  This undermines some of the worst things someone reading your accounts might think about him, so I'm happy to hear it.  Not doing anything to muddy the picture is really quite excellent of him.  He's being honest and even fair with you.

In answer to your question: it is not quite correct that you have no other option than to leave.  Your only other option --the default option-- is to accept your current pay and stay.  Two crisp, clear, perfectly opposing options.  Him caving aside, you could really hope for nothing better.  I'm going to have to disagree a bit with Mr. Bear's assessment above, and suggest that your father is not playing poker with you.  Poker is a game of imperfect information.  Your information is as near to perfect as it gets in family-mixed-with-career situations.  That really is a blessing.

+1000

OP, the internet is telling you the truth today.

[DoubleDown]

Wise advice I received long ago: It never hurts to have options.

So OP, please put some feelers out there, look around for some other job opportunities. If some better career opportunities become available to you (and honestly, it sounds almost impossible for you not to find something better), then you'll have some options to choose from. I think just having some other offers will do worlds of good for your self confidence and illuminate how you're not being fairly valued by your dad (as an employer).

[DeepEllumStache]

It does not hurt you to go out there and look.  He's being very clear that you will not get a raise or be treated with the same value that a comparable employee would be treated.

[former player]

You are referred to as the "office help" and are paid peanuts.  You are expected to work weekends and nights all year round as well as being on call 24/7 for a week in every month.  You have been lied to (promised a raise and then refused it).  You are being taken advantage of, and you know it.

You say you are in your thirties and married.  What on earth does your poor spouse think of all this?  It's a reasonable bet that your spouse is worried for you, mad at your father for you, resentful on your behalf that you are so underpaid and overworked, and missing dreadfully the unstressed family time you should be having together.  It's also a reasonable bet that your spouse has been biting their tongue about it all because they love you and don't want to make matters worse for you by intervening between you and your father.

You should be listening to your spouse's opinion over that of your father (and even that of the MMM community).  So sit down with your spouse and ask for an honest opinion on how your father is treating you, and what you should do about it.

[mm1970]

It does not hurt you to go out there and look.  He's being very clear that you will not get a raise or be treated with the same value that a comparable employee would be treated.

This.  Go. Look.  If nothing else, interviewing is good practice.

[mozar]

Sounds like an emotionally abusive situation. I recommend the book "codependent no more."