Thank you all for such a response! More than what i was expecting (I'm sorta new here)
Some more background info may help clarify some thoughts
My actual take home pay after deductions (fed, SS, State, Medicare, life insurance, medical, dental, vision, FSA, disability, legal, 401K) is under 7,800 a month. (total tax and deductions is 2,600+ bi-weekly)
My family was almost homeless 12 years ago, so we didn't start with much. Most of the extra money I have made over the years has went to paying off the wife's student loans, "medical issues" with our kids over the years. Heck i have spend 20K out of pocket on my kids teeth over the years (all 3 had braces) and yes I had the best dental plan my employers offered.
Regarding the comment about kids, yes older kids are alot more expensive than young kids (kids under 12). My wife will appreciate the kind words about staying home all of these years...for us that was a non-negotiable topic. Not that I am trying to kick my kids out but, I do expect are costs to do down significantly when all of our kids are living on their own (less house space needed, less car insurance, less health insurance, less life insurance, less food, less on school, etc etc) as well as when we move.
@ walt, I don't know what you mean by "it sounds like you have NW around ONE OR TWO YEARS SALARY"
regarding the cost of living. yes our home is expensive and everything in the area is expensive (I live in a well off area of the country). The avg household income in my zipcode is 160K. So it may look on paper that I have a high income the reality is, im really just average. The average house cost is between 511K-624K.
With that all being said. Is the best path to still Max the 401K, and put the rest into a taxable account? and do the roth ladder technique when i get closer to 45?
Again thanks for the advice and feedback