Author Topic: Mustacian Engagement Ring  (Read 24415 times)

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Mustacian Engagement Ring
« on: October 25, 2013, 01:25:10 PM »
I just finished reading through a recent topic about purchasing an engagement ring - Tons of great suggestions and advice to help me decide what I want, but I didn't see too much information about where to find it.

I'm hoping to propose in the near future, and my lady knows what she wants: a white gold band with 3 diamonds on top. HOWEVER! This is a preference of style, and not necessarily a preference of materials. Therefore:

There's no way I'm getting diamonds: No one will be able to tell, she won't be able to tell, so when I tell her they're not "real" diamonds she won't even care (and yes, we've talked about that to confirm it). Unfortunately I am pretty sure she wants the  shine of a white gold band over silver or stainless steel, so I'll probably have to give in on that.

Which leads me to my question: Where is a good place to look for CZ or moissanite (although that also seems to be more than I want to spend) engagement rings? The most common suggestions I've heard say online, I just haven't seen too many suggestions specifying where.

Also, does CZ stand the test of time? Particularly in regard to maintaining shine and color?

While you fellow Mustacians come to my rescue, I'll be searching eBay and Craigslist :)

lsalinas

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 48
  • Location: Los Angeles
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2013, 01:55:56 PM »
I bought my moissanite ring on sears.com. 

chicagomeg

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1196
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2013, 01:56:52 PM »
As a woman who recently got married, I have read my fair share of engagement ring threads on very un-MMM forums like Wedding Bee. The consensus seems to be that CZ will definitely not stand the test of time. It will crack and cloud over time. You get what you pay for and all that.

White sapphires are beautiful & more affordable than diamonds. However, moissanite seems to be the alternative of choice. I believe it comes with a lifetime warranty. It is extremely sparkly, but some women apparently like that. If she's set on a white stone, I would go with the white sapphire or a moissanite if you want something that will last forever. My impression is that it will in fact do so.

Elaine

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 465
  • Age: 36
  • Location: NYC
    • Small Things Good
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2013, 02:00:58 PM »
Hi! I used to sell fine jewelry (and so did my father), so I know a bit about this. CZ, and faux diamonds in general do not stand the test of time because they tend not to be very hard (gems are rated on the MOHS scale of hardness, with a diamond being the hardest at 10, CZ are often around 6-7). Because faux diamonds are not very hard they tend to scratch very easily (like glass). They can also chip quite easily.

Moissanite may be a good option because it is actually around 9 (I think) on the MOHS scale, so it's basically almost as tough as a diamond. I can't speak to the clarity hold up over years because I've only seen them new.

If she's only interested in a clear/white stone you could consider a white topaz or white emerald, they look very similar to diamonds! Since these are natural stones they will hold their color and clarity nicely. They will not be as tough as a diamond, but I would think they would hold up well enough assuming she is moderately careful, white emeralds in particular are quite strong.
 
Another option (probably the cheapest) is estate jewelry. Diamonds are worse than cars in terms of how they lose value the second you take them out of the store, you can get a lot of carat for your money by going used, and you'll also be paying a lot less for the gold in the band. Make sure you go to a reputable dealer though, and I would not recommend buying a ring that needs to be sized up or down more than two sizes. It can ruin the symmetry of the ring and even make it more prone to damage, so try to get something at least near her size. Hope this helps!

Elaine

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 465
  • Age: 36
  • Location: NYC
    • Small Things Good
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2013, 02:04:45 PM »
http://www.moissanite.com/

That's the website for moissanite by the way.

snuggler

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 154
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2013, 02:18:27 PM »
Just some food for thought: I'm not very into or knowledgeable about jewelry, but after getting my engagement ring, which has real diamonds in it, I can definitely tell whether a rock is CZ or not. They just reflect light differently. Some of the stores display CZ center stones instead of diamonds, and I could tell immediately which stores did that.

Moissanite, however, is a different story. My friend has one, and we were comparing our center stones side by side, and I couldn't see a single difference. She says it photographs a little differently. I'm very attached to my ring because of it's sentimental value, but if I were to purchase non-sentimental jewelry like basic earring studs, etc., I'd definitely look into moissanite.

goodlife

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 188
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2013, 02:34:39 PM »
Check out www.bluenile.com as well.

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2013, 02:50:51 PM »
Thanks for the feedback!

Elaine, any chance you have a referral to offer for a reputable estate jeweler?

HappyHoya

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 134
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2013, 03:04:32 PM »
Check out www.bluenile.com as well.

A lot of people seem to like Blue Nile, but I had a horrible customer service experience with them. They made a serious, haphazard mistake on a ring setting, and getting it dealt with was just horrible. I was surprised, since I heard so many good things. I did a little bit of scratching the surface behind their reputation, and apparently they have done a good job of suppressing any bad reviews or bribing people who've had bad experiences into taking the information down. I wouldn't warn you if this was any other piece of jewelry, but don't ask your SO to marry you with a ring that then takes hours of her (and your) time to fix. They ruined our engagement, and I'm still pissed about it.

Trirod

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 80
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2013, 03:08:26 PM »
Try Etsy.  Lots of great stuff on there at very reasonable prices.  Full disclosure - my wife makes and sells jewelry on Etsy as a sideline, but not engagement rings.

Daleth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1201
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2013, 08:59:45 PM »
I just finished reading through a recent topic about purchasing an engagement ring - Tons of great suggestions and advice to help me decide what I want, but I didn't see too much information about where to find it.

I'm hoping to propose in the near future, and my lady knows what she wants: a white gold band with 3 diamonds on top. HOWEVER! This is a preference of style, and not necessarily a preference of materials. Therefore:

There's no way I'm getting diamonds: No one will be able to tell, she won't be able to tell, so when I tell her they're not "real" diamonds she won't even care (and yes, we've talked about that to confirm it). Unfortunately I am pretty sure she wants the  shine of a white gold band over silver or stainless steel, so I'll probably have to give in on that.

Which leads me to my question: Where is a good place to look for CZ or moissanite (although that also seems to be more than I want to spend) engagement rings? The most common suggestions I've heard say online, I just haven't seen too many suggestions specifying where.

Also, does CZ stand the test of time? Particularly in regard to maintaining shine and color?

While you fellow Mustacians come to my rescue, I'll be searching eBay and Craigslist :)

My husband got mine at GreenKarat.com. It's lab-created sapphires (so chemically and physically real sapphires, but not mined and much cheaper than mined ones--and I got to choose the exact shade of blue I wanted!) and moissanite (which by definition is lab created, because natural moissanite occurs only in meteorites and only in sizes too small to be gemstones). They have a bunch of ring styles that you can customize (change the metal, swap out one type of stone for another, change the size of the stones), and they also do completely custom ones. Ours was semi-custom, gorgeous, and they were very good with communication and shipping.

Here's a white gold ring with three round moissanites (perhaps larger stones than you want?) for $1400:
http://shop.greenkarat.com/bolide-p95.aspx

Here's a white gold ring with three square sapphires (two blue, one white--white sapphire is another option for a diamond-like look, and you could have these all be white) for $1325:
http://shop.greenkarat.com/ming-p50.aspx

Smaller stones will bring the price down, and a solitaire, of course, would be much cheaper:

http://shop.greenkarat.com/blue-norther-round-p108.aspx - $600 for any color of sapphire (including white)

http://shop.greenkarat.com/east-egg-p93.aspx - cool antique-looking ring, $1000 for white sapphire

http://shop.greenkarat.com/watermelon-snow-gemstone-p121.aspx - $400 for white sapphire

I don't know what the price difference is between moissanites and white sapphires, but it's worth asking.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2013, 09:08:32 PM by Daleth »

chasesfish

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4376
  • Age: 41
  • Location: Florida
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2013, 04:53:10 AM »
It was 11 years ago, but I bought a .75ct diamond with inclusions and a 14k band/setting for $500.  It was a secondhand diamond and a new band.

The best mustachian collection I know of is the wife of a pawn shop owner, they're very frugal, but she has a heck of a collection from getting a used piece once or twice a year out of the store,

Rebecca Stapler

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 907
    • Stapler Confessions
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2013, 06:49:19 AM »

If she's only interested in a clear/white stone you could consider a white topaz or white emerald, they look very similar to diamonds! Since these are natural stones they will hold their color and clarity nicely. They will not be as tough as a diamond, but I would think they would hold up well enough assuming she is moderately careful, white emeralds in particular are quite strong.
 

I tried to get an emerald ring as an engagement ring and the jeweler told me that the stones are so soft that they're usually not used in rings. Do you think the jeweler was blowing smoke up my ass, or is this true?

fragglebock

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 24
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2013, 08:56:46 AM »
Good estate dealer: http://www.mchonejewelry.com/

I think the jewelry that comes from his shop is beautiful and musch more interesting that the regular modern styles.  My wedding and engagement rings came from there, and I can attest to the quality of the jewelry and fairness of price.

They have a good selection on the website, but much more in the store.  If you call them and describe the look you want, they will work with you to find something nice in your price range.

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2013, 10:18:50 AM »
I am a jewelry and diamond aficionado and have spent a lot of time on the Pricescope.com diamond/jewelry forums. When you say she wants "a white gold band with 3 diamonds on top," do you mean she wants something like this http://www.e-weddingbands.com/store/product1044.html (which I would describe as a 3-stone ring, prong-set diamonds, no diamonds on the shank) or something like this with three diamonds: http://www.e-weddingbands.com/store/product168329.html (which I would describe as a band with small inset diamonds)?

I can help you find exactly what you want at the price point you tell me if you can give a better description (better yet, a photo) of exactly what she wants. I would NOT recommend Blue Nile; they are drop-shippers and don't inspect the pieces to the level of care and service you deserve when spending money on jewelry. Vendors I'd feel confident recommending are:

www.whiteflash.com - my own engagement ring and an anniversary band are from here
www.briangavindiamonds.com
www.jamesallen.com
www.jewelsbyericagrace.com - antiques and consignment
www.e-weddingbands.com - DH and my plain white gold bands are from here, best price we could find anywhere, great quality

Second-hand sites I like are:

www.diamondbistro.com
www.loupetroop.com

And I have a few favorite Etsy sellers who do amazing custom work:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/onegarnetgirl
https://www.etsy.com/shop/CHenry

As for cubic zirconia, I think it's fine for daily wear for most stuff, but an engagement ring is theoretically something she'll want to wear every day for a really long time, and so the hardness of diamonds is preferable. I wear a cz ring every day, and while it fools most people, I can tell the difference between the cz on my left hand and the diamonds on my other hand in my anniversary band. CZ gets dirty very easily with skin oils, and is immediately "dull" looking. Both are antique-style cut stones (Old European cuts) so it really is comparing apples to apples. I'm guessing your future fiancée doesn't want huge diamonds, either way, so the cost difference likely won't be much, especially if you are open to secondary market pieces.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2013, 01:46:57 PM »
Questions:

Is she wearing it until the wedding, and then trading it for a band? Not all women wear their e-ring forever.

Will you two be hoping that people will think it's a diamond?

What is your budget?

My bf and I have been looking extensively and while I considered cz from www.berricle.com, I really want my ring to last a long long time and cz just didn't have the longevity that I wanted it to. I bought a tester ring from Berricle, and it was great! But moissanite seems like a real winner. Definitely check out the forums on weddingbee. (i.e. google search "show me your moissanite weddingbee" or "moissanite vs. cz weddingbee" and you'll get some great threads.

Crabricorn

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 27
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2013, 07:36:54 PM »
I have a 3 stone white sapphire ring that is in 14k white gold that came from overstock.com - cost was less than $200. It looks very good up against actual diamonds. Loom around over there. I think you'll find something you both like!

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #17 on: October 28, 2013, 09:18:37 AM »
I can help you find exactly what you want at the price point you tell me if you can give a better description (better yet, a photo) of exactly what she wants.

Thanks so much Rubybeth! I would say most like the first picture (3-stone ring, prong set stones, no diamonds in the shank). I'm sure I can get a photo, but I'll need to get home and look at the pictures she's saved on her laptop (yep, she's done some looking).

Questions:

Is she wearing it until the wedding, and then trading it for a band? Not all women wear their e-ring forever.

Will you two be hoping that people will think it's a diamond?

What is your budget?


1) She'd definitely wear it until the wedding, not sure about afterward. Either way, I imagine it would get some wear, as I'm sure we'll be engaged at least a year before we're actually married.

2) We are hoping that people will think it's a diamond, but that said, I'm pretty set AGAINST a diamond. Many of the alternative suggestions I've heard sound much more appealing.

3) Literally as mustachian as possible. These stories I've heard of people coming away with great engagement rings for a couple hundred bucks sound amazing.

edit: grammatical error)

CommonCents

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2363
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #18 on: October 28, 2013, 09:59:16 AM »
1) She'd definitely wear it until the wedding, not sure about afterward. Either way, I imagine it would get some wear, as I'm sure we'll be engaged at least a year before we're actually married.

2) We are hoping that people will think it's a diamond, but that said, I'm pretty set AGAINST a diamond. Many of the alternative suggestions I've heard sound much more appealing.

Regarding 1, if you really think she'd only wear it for the engagement year (which is unusual btw - I've never known anyone to do that), then skip the ring entirely.  My coworker is engaged with no ring.  Another couple I know, the gal proposed to the guy, so no engagement ring.

Why are you hoping people will think it's a diamond?  More and more folks aren't doing diamonds.  Be proud of it, not ashamed.  Or, buy something not like a diamond at all.  I realize these are expensive alternatives, but I have friends with ruby and saphire rings.  Pick something meaningful to you, rather than what society dictates.

Edited to fix quoting.
« Last Edit: October 28, 2013, 11:25:53 AM by CommonCents »

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #19 on: October 28, 2013, 10:41:50 AM »
Why are you hoping people will think it's a diamond?  More and more folks aren't doing diamonds.  Be proud of it, not ashamed.  Or, buy something not like a diamond at all.  I realize these are expensive alternatives, but I have friends with ruby and saphire rings.  Pick something meaningful to you, rather than what society dictates.

Not everyone wants to make a particular statement with their ring, they just like clear/white stones because they "match" just about anything you might wear. I like gemstones, too, and have a pale lavender spinel ring, but nobody knows what the heck a spinel is and I don't wear a lot of purple so I don't wear the ring that much.

To the OP, I'll await a photo example before I start searching, but it sounds like moissanite or white sapphires might be the way to go. :)

CommonCents

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2363
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2013, 11:25:04 AM »
Not everyone wants to make a particular statement with their ring, they just like clear/white stones because they "match" just about anything you might wear.

Oh sure.  I just wrote the above because he had talked about wanting people to think it was a diamond, rather than writing about love of a clear/white stone.

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #21 on: October 28, 2013, 11:49:04 AM »
Oh sure.  I just wrote the above because he had talked about wanting people to think it was a diamond, rather than writing about love of a clear/white stone.

I'll clarify: I'm not trying to trick anybody; I wouldn't buy something that isn't a diamond and then claim it to be. By "I want people to think it's a diamond" I meant strictly for appearance's sake; a clear/white stone.

As of right now, this is pretty close to what I'm thinking:
http://www.ashadiamonds.com/index.php?main_page=product_ring_info&products_id=550

I'll have to review the pictures my girlfriend saved to make sure this one isn't off the mark; otherwise I'm thinking something very similar to that style, and I imagine I wouldn't go over that price.

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2013, 12:34:40 PM »
Oh sure.  I just wrote the above because he had talked about wanting people to think it was a diamond, rather than writing about love of a clear/white stone.

I'll clarify: I'm not trying to trick anybody; I wouldn't buy something that isn't a diamond and then claim it to be. By "I want people to think it's a diamond" I meant strictly for appearance's sake; a clear/white stone.

As of right now, this is pretty close to what I'm thinking:
http://www.ashadiamonds.com/index.php?main_page=product_ring_info&products_id=550

I'll have to review the pictures my girlfriend saved to make sure this one isn't off the mark; otherwise I'm thinking something very similar to that style, and I imagine I wouldn't go over that price.

I like the Asha ring, I think I would say if that's the one she likes, go ahead and get it. I've only read good things about Asha simulants.

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2013, 01:22:02 PM »
I have a 3 stone white sapphire ring that is in 14k white gold that came from overstock.com - cost was less than $200. It looks very good up against actual diamonds. Loom around over there. I think you'll find something you both like!

This is one of several comments encouraging me to look into white sapphires, and that may be the direction I'm leaning in right now. Perhaps...
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71krBb247nL._SY500_.jpg

dadof4

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 179
  • Age: 49
  • Location: Portland, OR

netskyblue

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 637
  • Location: Midwest USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #25 on: October 28, 2013, 02:02:07 PM »

If she's only interested in a clear/white stone you could consider a white topaz or white emerald, they look very similar to diamonds! Since these are natural stones they will hold their color and clarity nicely. They will not be as tough as a diamond, but I would think they would hold up well enough assuming she is moderately careful, white emeralds in particular are quite strong.
 

I tried to get an emerald ring as an engagement ring and the jeweler told me that the stones are so soft that they're usually not used in rings. Do you think the jeweler was blowing smoke up my ass, or is this true?

This is true.  I work for a very reputable jewelry store.  Emeralds (which is the green version of the stone beryl) are very soft, abrade very easily, and are generally not recommended for daily wear.  At least if you want them to stay nice-looking.

CZs will also abrade and generally look poo after a few years of daily wear.  They are so cheap though, you could have it replaced periodically.

I don't have experience with Moissanite, we typically only deal with genuine gemstones.

White sapphires are a good choice if you do want a natural gemstone.  They are a 9 in terms of hardness.  They WILL abrade, I have seen abraded sapphires many, many times.  Diamonds, as a 10 on the Mohs scale, are about 4-5 times harder than sapphires/rubies (which are different colors of the same stone, corundum).  Diamonds really will outlast any other gem in terms of abrasion resistance.

To someone who knows what they're looking at, white sapphires really don't look exactly like diamonds.  Moissanite might be closer in terms of appearance.

If you buy online, you really don't have anyone to take it back to in the event something happens to it, or it needs periodic maintenance (such as if you drop it down the garbage disposal, or break a prong, or even just the stone needs tightened).  Mine doesn't, but many jewelry stores do charge extra to do work on a piece that was purchased elsewhere.  Either that, or refuse to work on it at all.  Keep that in mind. 

If you are working with a local jeweler, ask about their pricing for re-setting if you choose to get a CZ.  The CZ itself shouldn't cost you more than 15-20 bucks, even for a big one.  You may find it cheaper and more attractive in the long run to get the CZ and replace it every 5 years or so.  Anything else you buy really is going to abrade if you wear it 100% all day every day, and will cost a whole lot more to continually replace.  Maybe you don't care if it does abrade, that's totally up to you.

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #26 on: October 28, 2013, 02:27:27 PM »
Someone is selling a similar ring on Diamond Bistro for $399: http://diamondbistro.com/category/217/Asha-Center-Stone/listings/36220/Asha-Trellis-Lucern-Three-Stone-Ring.html

Also, here is a moissanite version of the ring for $525: http://diamondbistro.com/category/218/Moissanite-Center-Stone/listings/36010/Moissanite-3-stone-ring-175-carats-Platinum.html

Note that both of these have 7mm center stones, which equates to about a 1.25 carat diamond, a bit larger than the eraser on a standard #2 pencil.

I will add that I am wary of eBay jewelry since some have posted links to eBay rings... I've had some good luck, but I know exactly what I'm looking for, and how to assess whether or not the diamonds are well-cut. You don't want badly cut diamonds. At least with simulants, it seems most are cut to pretty exacting standards, because there's no worry about carat weight loss with man-made material.

If you are interested in hunting through eBay jewelry, and having trusted assistance doing so, I would strongly encourage you to sign up for an account at Pricescope and post in Rocky Talky (http://www.pricescope.com/forum/rockytalky/), letting folks know your exact parameters (budget, carat weight, white/yellow gold, finger size, etc.) and asking for help.

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #27 on: October 28, 2013, 02:35:18 PM »
If you buy online, you really don't have anyone to take it back to in the event something happens to it, or it needs periodic maintenance (such as if you drop it down the garbage disposal, or break a prong, or even just the stone needs tightened).  Mine doesn't, but many jewelry stores do charge extra to do work on a piece that was purchased elsewhere.  Either that, or refuse to work on it at all.  Keep that in mind. 

The bolded statement is simply not true. You can take jewelry to just about any store you like for regular maintenance, and you can get jewelry insurance for expensive pieces as a rider to your homeowner's policy or as an individual policy with Jeweler's Mutual, which will cover loss/theft. Also, with the online vendors I recommended above, you can generally send back rings for free re-sizing. I did this with my engagement ring from Whiteflash, no problems using Fedex to send the ring back. Online vendors sometimes have even better return policies or satisfaction guarantees than regular brick & mortar retailers. I have also taken pieces to multiple local jewelers (not chain stores) for appraisals, checking prongs, polishing/cleaning, and other maintenance like sizing rings. In every case, they haven't asked where I purchased the piece. They are happy to take my money or check prongs/clean the rings for free.

netskyblue

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 637
  • Location: Midwest USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #28 on: October 28, 2013, 02:54:19 PM »
If you buy online, you really don't have anyone to take it back to in the event something happens to it, or it needs periodic maintenance (such as if you drop it down the garbage disposal, or break a prong, or even just the stone needs tightened).  Mine doesn't, but many jewelry stores do charge extra to do work on a piece that was purchased elsewhere.  Either that, or refuse to work on it at all.  Keep that in mind. 

The bolded statement is simply not true. You can take jewelry to just about any store you like for regular maintenance, and you can get jewelry insurance for expensive pieces as a rider to your homeowner's policy or as an individual policy with Jeweler's Mutual, which will cover loss/theft. Also, with the online vendors I recommended above, you can generally send back rings for free re-sizing. I did this with my engagement ring from Whiteflash, no problems using Fedex to send the ring back. Online vendors sometimes have even better return policies or satisfaction guarantees than regular brick & mortar retailers. I have also taken pieces to multiple local jewelers (not chain stores) for appraisals, checking prongs, polishing/cleaning, and other maintenance like sizing rings. In every case, they haven't asked where I purchased the piece. They are happy to take my money or check prongs/clean the rings for free.

You can't blanket state that it isn't true.  The OP needs to do research where he lives.  I work in a local (non-chain) jewelry store.  We will not work on any jewelry containing colored stones not purchased from us due to the now-prevalence of undetectable treatments used for such stones (ESPECIALLY common in jewelry bought on cruises & that sort of thing).  We run the risk of damaging a stone (and thus having to buy a replacement) simply by putting it in the ultrasonic cleaner or subjecting it to the torch heat that would be used for something like a sizing, if we don't know how the stone has been treated.  We will work on other jewelers diamond jewelry (though we always ask if it was purchased here), and we do not charge extra, but I can name at least two other jewelers in town who do.

We DO charge to appraise items not purchased from us (but provide them for free on items we sold).

You can and should get a rider from your insurance company to insure against loss/theft.

Some online companies provide service, some don't.  You're not going to get any type of service guarantee on a used ring bought on Ebay, for example.  If it's a company that's been around a very short time, it might not still be around in 30 years when you need maintenance.  Just a caution to do your research now, to be aware of the sorts of things you could run into down the road.

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2013, 03:56:17 PM »
See, this seems like something that would be too good to be true:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/128799735/2ct-three-stone-ring-vintage-russian?ref=listing-shop-header-0

It's beautiful, claims to be plated so that it will never tarnish, and claims that the stones with never fade or tint... does anyone have experience that may support/oppose those claims?

netskyblue

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 637
  • Location: Midwest USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #30 on: October 28, 2013, 04:44:47 PM »
Rhodium plating is fairly standard on sterling silver rings.  Some jewelry manufacturers rhodium plate all their silver, some don't.  Most white gold is rhodium plated as well.  It does wear off (which is why you will notice your white gold ring may turn slightly yellower over time, that's the actual color of the white gold alloy.  The bright shiny white is due to rhodium plating).  I say "most" because years and years ago that wasn't always the case.  White gold was alloyed with more nickel which produced a whiter metal than some of today's alloys.  Since many people are allergic to nickel, it's used in lesser amounts than it used to be.

When the rhodium plating wears off, the silver will tarnish.  Wearing it every day will help prevent some tarnish (it's the rubbing that keeps it off), but in the crevices it will tarnish.  How soon the rhodium plating wears off depends a lot on how the ring is worn (lots of friction wears it off) and her body chemistry.  Some people's oils & sweat eat through rhodium plating much faster than other people's.

Some jewelers will size rhodium plated silver.  My store won't.  We CAN but often won't size silver at all, as we are primarily goldsmiths, and have to size silver on the laser machine.  At that price, you would be better off buying a whole new ring, as the cost of sizing would be more than than the cost of the ring.

Quote
Today’s CZ's are made overseas with poor manufacturing processes and the cheapest ingredients. Inferior CZ's will not fool anyone and eventually will discolor or fog.
 

CZ is zirconium dioxide.  I'm not sure what they mean by this.  All CZ is zirconium dioxide, and as the same material, will behave the same way.  It can be cut well or cut poorly, and that can make a difference in appearance.

Quote
Feel free to order larger stones, than you normally wear, since diamonds shrink over time.

What?  That's simply not true.  Again, What?  Are they trying to be funny?

Silver is going to be softer than white gold, and is more likely to look banged up/get bent out of shape than white gold, but at $47, you could replace it over and over before approaching the price of white gold.  It isn't going to hold intrinsic value like gold.

It's a silver CZ ring.  Nothing wrong with what it is, but their marketing does sound hyper-inflated.

Crabricorn

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 27
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #31 on: October 28, 2013, 05:44:58 PM »
I'd go for the white sapphire set in gold for longevity sake. FYI: the link you showed from amazon.com looks just like the ring I have from overstock. I wear it with a gold band and it looks great! I think those sapphires will last longer than a cubic zirconia.

Happy engagement!


rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #32 on: October 29, 2013, 06:39:24 AM »
See, this seems like something that would be too good to be true:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/128799735/2ct-three-stone-ring-vintage-russian?ref=listing-shop-header-0

It's beautiful, claims to be plated so that it will never tarnish, and claims that the stones with never fade or tint... does anyone have experience that may support/oppose those claims?

What's that saying... if it's too good to be true, it probably is? Definitely holds in this case. Yikes.

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #33 on: October 29, 2013, 09:55:10 AM »
If you buy online, you really don't have anyone to take it back to in the event something happens to it, or it needs periodic maintenance (such as if you drop it down the garbage disposal, or break a prong, or even just the stone needs tightened).  Mine doesn't, but many jewelry stores do charge extra to do work on a piece that was purchased elsewhere.  Either that, or refuse to work on it at all.  Keep that in mind. 

The bolded statement is simply not true. You can take jewelry to just about any store you like for regular maintenance, and you can get jewelry insurance for expensive pieces as a rider to your homeowner's policy or as an individual policy with Jeweler's Mutual, which will cover loss/theft. Also, with the online vendors I recommended above, you can generally send back rings for free re-sizing. I did this with my engagement ring from Whiteflash, no problems using Fedex to send the ring back. Online vendors sometimes have even better return policies or satisfaction guarantees than regular brick & mortar retailers. I have also taken pieces to multiple local jewelers (not chain stores) for appraisals, checking prongs, polishing/cleaning, and other maintenance like sizing rings. In every case, they haven't asked where I purchased the piece. They are happy to take my money or check prongs/clean the rings for free.

You can't blanket state that it isn't true. The OP needs to do research where he lives.  I work in a local (non-chain) jewelry store.  We will not work on any jewelry containing colored stones not purchased from us due to the now-prevalence of undetectable treatments used for such stones (ESPECIALLY common in jewelry bought on cruises & that sort of thing).  We run the risk of damaging a stone (and thus having to buy a replacement) simply by putting it in the ultrasonic cleaner or subjecting it to the torch heat that would be used for something like a sizing, if we don't know how the stone has been treated.  We will work on other jewelers diamond jewelry (though we always ask if it was purchased here), and we do not charge extra, but I can name at least two other jewelers in town who do.

We DO charge to appraise items not purchased from us (but provide them for free on items we sold).

You can and should get a rider from your insurance company to insure against loss/theft.

Some online companies provide service, some don't.  You're not going to get any type of service guarantee on a used ring bought on Ebay, for example.  If it's a company that's been around a very short time, it might not still be around in 30 years when you need maintenance.  Just a caution to do your research now, to be aware of the sorts of things you could run into down the road.

I can blanket statement that it isn't true, because it isn't in 100% of all known cases, so it isn't true all the time, which means sometimes it's false. I'm sorry if that sounds mean, but there's a lot misinformation out there on jewelry/diamonds, so I try to be honest and clear with people. It may be true in some cases, and I appreciate your knowledge and the information you shared above, as well. I know that there are jewelers that won't work on pieces with synthetic stones, or stones with unknown treatment, so that's helpful for folks to know when looking at simulated diamonds or even softer gemstones (like the person who mentioned emerald--not worth the risk of damaging the stone for some jewelers).

For the OP, we likely aren't talking a $10,000 ring, or even a $3,000 ring, we're probably talking less than $1k on a ring, so insurance is probably optional. You can likely self-insure by just planning to replace the ring if it's ever lost/stolen. Service guarantees can add to the up-front price of a ring (I know this is a marketing technique used by Shane Company, the "you've got a friend in the diamond business" people, but Shane's prices are higher than the online vendors I've used).
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 09:57:26 AM by rubybeth »

Daleth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1201
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #34 on: October 29, 2013, 10:59:00 AM »
I'd go for the white sapphire set in gold for longevity sake. FYI: the link you showed from amazon.com looks just like the ring I have from overstock. I wear it with a gold band and it looks great! I think those sapphires will last longer than a cubic zirconia.

Happy engagement!

Moissanite is harder than sapphire, so durability is probably greater there.

Elaine

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 465
  • Age: 36
  • Location: NYC
    • Small Things Good
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #35 on: December 04, 2013, 09:40:55 AM »

If she's only interested in a clear/white stone you could consider a white topaz or white emerald, they look very similar to diamonds! Since these are natural stones they will hold their color and clarity nicely. They will not be as tough as a diamond, but I would think they would hold up well enough assuming she is moderately careful, white emeralds in particular are quite strong.
 

I tried to get an emerald ring as an engagement ring and the jeweler told me that the stones are so soft that they're usually not used in rings. Do you think the jeweler was blowing smoke up my ass, or is this true?

I don't think that's true. I mean if your wife to be is a sculptor or mechanic or someone who works with hands a lot than maybe it will get damaged, but emeralds are used in rings all the time- think about it this way, if you can buy an emerald ring from the 1920s (which you can, easily) - then they're pretty damn sturdy.

Daleth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1201
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #36 on: December 04, 2013, 02:29:10 PM »
If she's only interested in a clear/white stone you could consider a white topaz or white emerald, they look very similar to diamonds! Since these are natural stones they will hold their color and clarity nicely. They will not be as tough as a diamond, but I would think they would hold up well enough assuming she is moderately careful, white emeralds in particular are quite strong.

In case anyone cares, according to this website "white emerald" is just marketing-speak for goshenite, a mineral that is not emerald (emeralds are beryl): http://www.gemologyonline.com/Forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12673
I have no idea what the durability of goshenite is, but it's likely different than emerald, since it's a different stone.

And I have also heard emeralds are soft--or rather, not soft, but not as hard as sapphires, rubies, moissanites or diamonds. You do see them in rings, but they are 7.5-8 on the Mohs scale, and according to Wikipedia "most emeralds are highly included" (i.e., they contain impurities) "so their... resistance to breakage is classified as generally poor." That, of course, would not be true of a lab-created emerald; it'd still be 7.5 to 8 in hardness, but it would be completely pure with no inclusions, and thus presumably less breakable than a natural stone.

 

oldpharm

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • Age: 63
  • Location: Ottawa,Ontario
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #37 on: December 04, 2013, 06:05:28 PM »
While recognizing  jewellery is not very mustachian it is still nice. We just used a plain (inherited) band for the wedding and 17 years later finally found the "right" ring and had the cash for it. Worth waiting for and definitely the right one. Got married in our apartment and had a potluck the next night. Now encouraging all three kids to consider same!

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #38 on: December 06, 2013, 08:54:53 AM »
(Reminder: I'm the OP)

I've gotten a ton of great advice so far, and I think it's led me to a conclusion:

I haven't made a purchase yet, but I'm leaning toward a white gold band with three withe sapphires . A picture of what I have in mind can be found here - http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71krBb247nL._SY500_.jpg

The fiancé-to-be prefers this look (white gold colored band, 3 diamond-style circular stones, some flair on the sides) and should be a great combination of quality and frugality. By frugality, I mean that we don't have to buy into the whole diamonds-are-necessary BS (the price here is around $200), and white sapphires should closely resemble diamonds in both appearance and longevity. (Yes, I know they don't look exactly the same and that sapphires are likely to develop some wear over time.)

Elaine

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 465
  • Age: 36
  • Location: NYC
    • Small Things Good
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #39 on: December 06, 2013, 09:19:10 AM »
That looks/sounds beautiful. I'm sure you'll both be happy with it!

hybrid

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Richmond, Virginia
  • A hybrid of MMM and thoughtful consumer.
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #40 on: December 06, 2013, 09:38:00 AM »
Damn, did it really take Comment #40 to point out that red brick is far superior to a diamond?  As in, the red brick that you could be buying for your future bride's house instead of the pre-wedding-rock she will wear on her finger before you tie the knot???

Come on folks, the Mustachian Engagement ring is blindingly obvious.  Skip the $%^&*@ engagement ring!  If you are just bound and determined to waste your hard earned money on rocks, then for heavens sake put it in the wedding rings, not the pre-wedding rings.

For a couple just starting out, I bet there is a list as long as your arm of practical things you can use in your new household.  For gods sake man, put your money there instead.

(Rant over, and I do hope you guys have a wondeful life together, seriously.) 

Anti-ComplainyPants

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Mississippi, USA
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #41 on: December 06, 2013, 11:47:04 AM »
No apologies for rants - both rants and face-punches make for better Mustacians.

Yes, I could be a more bad-ass Mustacian and skip the engagement ring altogether. However, my fiancé-to-be is not yet on the frugality train - she loves all the money I've saved us, but she's not actively making big changes herself (yet!). She has her heart set on a knee-bent proposal with a ring, and I can do that. Especially because she's all for a practically-free elope-style wedding, and the ring I get her will cost a fraction of a Wussypants Consumerist ring.

You mentioned putting the money toward our house, which is great advice. In comparison, the ring I'm considering costs approximately $200. Which is the same as the amount I'm currently saving every month toward a future home downpayment. We have no need to buy a home within the next 5 years, so I can easily keep saving/investing $200/month, and by then I'll have enough for a 20% downpayment on a nice $100k-$150k first home without any PMI (I've already got over $5k saved up).

And yes, I expect to live in an area where a $100k-$150k is in fact a nice home.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #42 on: December 06, 2013, 11:58:24 AM »
I think you've made a solid decision. Mustachianism isn't never-buying-anything-ever, but it IS buying things that matter to you and have a high rate of happiness return. I think your SO will feel happy every time she looks at her reasonably-priced ring, and that's pretty darn cool.

rubybeth

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1390
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #43 on: December 06, 2013, 06:50:35 PM »
I think you've made a solid decision. Mustachianism isn't never-buying-anything-ever, but it IS buying things that matter to you and have a high rate of happiness return. I think your SO will feel happy every time she looks at her reasonably-priced ring, and that's pretty darn cool.

Ditto. Totally agree with library joy.

hybrid

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Richmond, Virginia
  • A hybrid of MMM and thoughtful consumer.
Re: Mustacian Engagement Ring
« Reply #44 on: December 06, 2013, 08:17:16 PM »
No apologies for rants - both rants and face-punches make for better Mustacians.

Yes, I could be a more bad-ass Mustacian and skip the engagement ring altogether. However, my fiancé-to-be is not yet on the frugality train - she loves all the money I've saved us, but she's not actively making big changes herself (yet!). She has her heart set on a knee-bent proposal with a ring, and I can do that. Especially because she's all for a practically-free elope-style wedding, and the ring I get her will cost a fraction of a Wussypants Consumerist ring.

You mentioned putting the money toward our house, which is great advice. In comparison, the ring I'm considering costs approximately $200. Which is the same as the amount I'm currently saving every month toward a future home downpayment. We have no need to buy a home within the next 5 years, so I can easily keep saving/investing $200/month, and by then I'll have enough for a 20% downpayment on a nice $100k-$150k first home without any PMI (I've already got over $5k saved up).

And yes, I expect to live in an area where a $100k-$150k is in fact a nice home.

I'm not going to beat anyone up over a few hundred bucks.  Several thousand bucks???  Different story.