I've struggled with depression for years. I haven't seen anyone about it for awhile because counselling is expensive and doctors don't seem to offer any useful advice - instead making me feel even more guilty about my situation*. I have however been taking St John's Wort (300mg) and 5-HTP (100mg) 3 times daily, which has helped my mood and sleep.
My doctors, in the past, invariably wanted to prescribe me medications despite severe side effects. Unfortunately, my parents are of little direct help in this regard. Though they suffer from depression themselves (and my Mom from bipolar), they often offer counter-productive advice. I know this is a cynical comment, and I don't mean to hold ill will towards them: but I'm not sure why they'd expect what hasn't worked for them to work for me. They often try to be supportive, though sometimes (and when I was young and wouldn't just do what I knew felt right, most of the time) that involved pushing me in directions which made things worse - having been overzealous high-achievers when they were younger.
I'm pretty sure I suffer from some form of C-PTSD from being bullied when I was in junior high (and repeat trauma which has arisen in situations which re-open those wounds). I have a very hard time with crowds/meeting new people my age, which sometimes make socializing or going out with friends hell. I like being social though - so I try to go out anyway because it's better than being alone for prolonged periods of time (I've been there - it's and even worse kind of hell). Another major trigger is when multiple things go wrong at once and I feel powerless to fix things - kind of feels like an out of control death spiral. As much as I consciously know that being in a good state would help me deal with those situations and move on, it's like my brain involuntarily cuts off my supply of serotonin and my thinking gets clouded and dark real quick.
To convey what it feels like: it's like, despite the fact that you're in a scenario that you consciously know you can deal with, you're reminded of multiple scenarios that you were literally unable to deal with even though you were in 110% fight-or-flight mode (and perhaps worse because you were in that state, making you angry and easy to taunt), so your brain is now forever looking out for threats which remind you of those scenarios so that it won't be vulnerable again. The irony, of course, is that since most triggering situations are social in nature (in my case), going into fight-or-flight mode is exactly the opposite of what is needed in order to excel/be happy/be confident. To put it another way, it's like there's a lion stalking you in the grass on the savana, and despite the fact that you know it won't pounce, your brain is signalling your body to pump adrenaline and running scenarios on what'll happen IF it pounces so that you're prepared. Unfortunately, no one else sees the lion and you're the only one in this highly agitated state, making it hard to relate with anyone else because you're in a totally different place than they are.
Unfortunately, overbearing bosses/work situations have also been a major trigger. Often, the feeling of not having control over my situation leads to me being unable to use the very strengths which would be most effective in that situation. I feel powerless because of my circumstances, which leads to feeling event more powerless. By contrast, I excel with autonomy because it allays those fears. Right now, I find that giving myself enough control over my time so that I can step back when things get real bad is the best approach for me. I'd like to become FI sooner rather than later, since having that freedom and control over my life helps enormously (and indeed, the opposite scenario of being a starving student made things much worse). I used to have a really good head for money and investing. I thank this blog for re-awakening that. The difference in my mood between giving myself that free time vs. constantly pushing myself hard (like I did for awhile with school and work) is paying dividends in terms of gaining control over my mood and mental state.
* The guilt being because I'm looking for solutions, and they're offering me solutions, but I've tried those solutions and they haven't worked. Yet now they present the same solutions, and I feel like I'm turning down help therefore not improving my situation (but as I said, the offered solutions haven't worked and indeed have made things worse in the past - especially my experiences with SSRIs/SNRIs).