I'm baaaaaack, guys. Puerto Rico was amazing, and I'm filled with both overwhelming joy/satisfaction and niggling regrets.
I'll start with the regrets first and tie them to their financial impact, as to not make this thread wildly OT. ;)
First, don't be idiots like us and check the rainfall averages for the month you're going. We got rained out a couple of times, to the extent that camping was out of the question for us for those nights, so we checked into a guesthouse, which cost us an extra $280.
Also, be firm with yourself as to why you want to go. What we wanted was a beach vacation, but once we started researching PR, there were so many things we felt we had to see/do/experience. Since we only had a week, this was a mistake. While it's a small island, driving to and fro still sucked out a ton of time and money. The Guanica Dry Forest and El Yunque were truly beautiful (one of the most beautiful beaches we went to was on the southside of the Dry Forest; can't remember the name, but the nice man at the check-in point for the hike will tell you which one to go to)... but if we do it again, we would head straight to Vieques.
We did camp for two nights at Seven Seas in Fajardo. We were the only campers, and we felt completely safe, but I wouldn't do it again--although it was free, since no one was around to collect the camping fee. It was the least nice beach we saw in PR. There's a lot of trash, which we spent time picking up in lieu of payment. However, there are sinks, flush toilets, showers, pavilions, etc., etc., so if it were cleaner, it could have been a nicer experience.
We didn't end up camping in Vieques because the first day we got there, there was a rather spectacular thunderstorm that drenched the campsite at Sun Bay... and which brought up hordes of fire ants, who
really know how to bring the pain. However, had it been dry, I don't think it would have been a problem. Again, perhaps because it was the low season, no one was interested in collecting our camping/parking fee. The Sun Bay campsites are also right by bathrooms, showers, etc., so, again, could have been very nice.
After trying to set up and getting caught in a downpour, we decided to check into Trade Winds in Esperanza, just down the road on 201. Although I threw a minor tantrum/sulk at spending money when we'd already spent so much time, money, and effort in bringing our camping equipment along, we had a really, really nice stay. I think it was $80/night, plus tax. The rooms aren't fancy, but the beds were very comfy, and each room comes with a mini-fridge. We stayed on the first floor, but I think a room on the second would have been nicer--they had access to a sunnier terrace. The place itself was extremely well-run, with awesome staff, a really terrific restaurant, and a friendly orange cat named Cornflake.
We rented a Jeep for Vieques, and although it was heart-palpitatingly expensive, I'm glad we did. All of our favorite beaches were miles off the main road, down rutted dirt paths filled with muddy puddles. We ended up with Avis, but I hear that Chepito's has the best rates (about 1/2 of what everyone else charges, presumably because his fleet is older). We tried to book with him, but all his rentals had been booked up.
Most of the bars/restaurants/bodegas/etc. take credit cards. There are two ATMs in Esperanza: one at Duffy's bar, another at the bodega on Calle Almendro between Calle Hucar and Calle Tintillas (take a right off of 997 at Trade Winds, then the first left).
On Vieques, a six-pack of Medella was $3.99 (I think?). Every supermercado and bodega sells a good selection of booze at solid prices. There was a very nice happy hour at Trade Winds from 5-6:30pm, with (strong!) $4 specialty drinks and $3 well, amongst other libations. Most traditional PR restaurants won't have salad, so you will have to go to an expat place to get your greens. Alternately, there is a woman who sells fruits and vegetables on the side of the road at the intersection of 200 and 201; she's just a bit down on 201. Her vegetables looked significantly better than what we saw in the supermercados. Can't remember the price comparison, though.
Every sit-down meal we had was absurdly, ludicrously generous in portion size. We went to the most upscale place in Esperanza expecting smaller portions, and my sides were the size of a fancy New York entree.
Our favorite beaches were Media Luna (lots of places to string up a hammock and very shallow, calm water, but shorter depth of sand to sprawl out on) and Navio (extraordinary white sand, makes you feel like you're in a movie, but water can be very rough depending on how the wind is blowing). Unfortunately, the furthermost beaches in the national preserve were closed during the week. We were kind of unimpressed with Green Beach, and there is no reason to visit Sea Glass Beach except for the fact that there's a mango tree on public land at the end of Calle La Infanteria. I found a perfectly ripe mango, and it was the best goddamn mango I ever tasted.
Almost everyone we spoke to spoke English, and everyone who spoke English certainly spoke it better than I spoke Spanish.
We would love to return in the future, and here's what we would do:
- Go during the drier season (November - mid-April).
- Dispense with renting a car on the main island; get to Vieques via publico and taxi and hop on the ferry.
- Call Chepito's early.
- Plan to camp on Media Luna, a beach past Sun Bay on municipal land; I didn't see it listed on the official PR government site, but when we got there to go swimming, there were at least 15 clearly marked campsites right along the beach. Much more beautiful, IMO, than the sites at Sun Bay, although without any facilities (running water, bathrooms, grills, etc.)
- Although not officially permitted, grilling on municipal beaches is de facto allowed (although bonfires are not). If you don't have a packable grill, a metal bucket from a supermercado will suffice.
- Bring two hammocks.
- Pack fewer clothes (two pairs of shorts, two swimsuits, 2-3 t-shirts, and 2-3 pairs of underwear each, plus one dress and one button-up for us respectively).
- Bring more sunscreen.
Hope this is helpful to any other Mustachians planning a trip down!