Author Topic: Who have you told about your FI/plans?  (Read 5183 times)

Pinkie Mustache

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Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« on: July 23, 2014, 11:35:01 AM »
Hi,

I've only been an MMM convert for a couple of months, but I'm about other Mustachians approach to telling friends or family about their FI/badassity plans.  Have you told friends? Family?  Maybe I'm not giving others enough credit, but I'm wary of sharing my goals because 1. I don't need to hear any nay-saying and 2. our financial situation isn't really anybody's business.  That being said, I'm obviously on the forum because I'm excited about this whole approach to life and its good to get some encouragement.  So, what's your experience been with sharing the MMM approach and maybe your goals with others in your life? Advice?

Eric

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2014, 11:53:18 AM »
Here's a pretty recent thread with a lot of our answers.  Summary -- it varies, a lot.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/how-freely-do-you-discuss-your-fire-plans/

boarder42

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2014, 12:20:23 PM »
I do it more freely than I probably should. But here is my take. How is I'm planning to retire by xxx age any different from. Hey look at my new .. Shoes.. Car ... Tech gadget... Boat .. Motorcycle.  Its not so share away and f people who think its dumb impossible or call you cheap.  Just BC its not a social norm. Who cares

Pinkie Mustache

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2014, 12:47:19 PM »
Here's a pretty recent thread with a lot of our answers.  Summary -- it varies, a lot.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/how-freely-do-you-discuss-your-fire-plans/

Thanks - that's really helpful.  I guess everyone has their own approach. 

MrsMoreWithLess

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2014, 01:13:31 PM »
Overall, I think you have to understand your audience and whether he, she or they may see your plans as a rejection/put-down of their own lifestyle and life choices.

I don't talk to my family (meaning parents and other relatives) about the FI plans my husband and I have. I think a big part of it is that it's a generational thing (tied into first sentence above). I'd love to hear MMM's take on this one of these days. I say this as someone who, in her pre-Mustachian days, was convinced to purchase expensive furniture for a studio apartment I bought many years ago. My parents' take on it was that it was what a homeowner is supposed to do and that resorting to Ikea is for college kids or those who just can't afford anything nice or, worse, don't have good taste.

So, without taking a deep breath first and considering if this would actually enhance my life in the long run, I agreed to share the cost of some nice pieces of furniture (even then, it was still out of my budget but they insisted on paying for part of the furniture as a gift). Yes, my apartment looks lovely, but now, years later, I'm renting it out, and when I do sell it, well, I sure hope the buyer likes the furniture enough to take it off my hands. Not only do I want to avoid the cost of a mover to remove these bulky items from the apartment, I have zero desire to pay for storage. In the long run, the removal and storage of the furniture that now, years later, I have no use for, will cost more than it's even worth. The pieces have become a ball and chain and will most likely end up being sold for a fraction of what they're worth, or be picked up by the Salvation Army truck for a tax write off.

All that said, if I admit to my parents today that the furniture wasn't necessary and I should have stuck with Ikea, they would look at me as if I have three heads (and call me very ungrateful).  Let's just say I come from people who if they made it to the "Showcase Showdown" section of The Price is Right, they'd be happier to win the home furnishing showcase instead of the travel/car showcase-- why would you want the risk your life and money for a car that isn't as good as what you'd pick out and such and such places are too far/too expensive/probably crime-ridden.

Furniture issues aside, there may be people in your life who believe Mustachism is BS and just some kind of hippy pipe-dream crafted by someone who doesn't want to do things the long and hard way (because of course we're supposed toil to fulfill the correct version of the American dream-- expensive suburb, SUV, two car garage, "good schools" funded by extremely high taxes. If your experience tells you someone will just say you're ridiculous, put down your ideas or just get offended by them, don't say anything. Just focus on yourself and never feel you need to justify.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2014, 01:20:25 PM by MrsMoreWithLess »

mozar

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2014, 03:43:24 PM »
Since I didn't comment last go round: I can't even tell my family how much I make, let alone my long term plans. I might tell them I am a SAHP when I retire in my forties. My family is very competive and would use this info to brag. My cousins already dont like me very much.
I work for the federal govt so a lot of people retire in their 50's, but when my co worker talked about retiring in her late 40's, everyone reacted negatively. So I don't say anything. I drop hints that I'm frugal which I think they assume I have student loans which I actually have paid off.

EarlyQuit

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2014, 04:08:44 PM »
I tell everyone, who asks me the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question or something similar. However, 99% of people think I am being sarcastic, and that includes my boss :)

MoneyCat

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2014, 04:13:28 PM »
We are not telling anyone, because everyone's hands are going to come out if my family and friends find out we have money.

Zikoris

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2014, 04:25:54 PM »
All of Canada. We were featured in an major newspaper article about frugal living, and it spiralled from there.

biffwhipster

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2014, 04:30:08 PM »
I don't tell anyone, although I think most people assume that I am frugal. I recently told a friend who I thought would appreciate the idea, but he thought I was crazy. No big deal there. I then found out that for a week after I told him, he brought it up to his family and friends to poke fun at me. I was kinda bummed that he did that, because I don't expect friends to do that. So yea, I don't tell anyone unless I KNOW they would appreciate it.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2014, 04:38:46 PM by biffwhipster »

Woodshark

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2014, 05:13:37 PM »
Er.....mostly no one. Only friends that have already ER'ed really.  We have a 2nd home on a lake in another state. We've had it over seven years and we have yet to tell my brother or sister. Why?  Because they live paycheck to paycheck and/or will infer that somehow we "owe" them $$$ because we chose to LBOM and they like to spend it as fast as it comes in  It's a shame really because I would like to invite them for a week on the lake but I know within 24 hours of being there I would be hit-up for loans or outright donations.

MillenialMustache

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2014, 09:27:50 AM »
Well, many people know we are frugal and save our money. I have told almost no none about our plans to retire early - a MMM friend who actually introduced me to the blog (love having a community to talk about it with!), one coworker I am close with, and that is it. Although, we are about to close on our first rental home and my parents and in-laws know about that. Which led to this discussion: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/has-this-happened-to-you-(small-vent-in-laws-and-gift-giving)/msg350354/#msg350354. I think we are getting to the point where it may be beneficial to tell our families so they know the money has a designated purpose.

Pinkie Mustache

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2014, 12:09:57 AM »
Thanks all for the responses so far.  I think that at this point in time, we're going to have to keep the whole thing to ourselves.  So, I sure am glad this forum is here for us.  I think even after we reach FI that will have have to be kept on the DL...

BlueHouse

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2014, 07:28:36 AM »
I tell a few people, but I get a lot of eye rolls because I'm still pretty spendy. The difference though is that I have things to show for my spending while the eye rollers have already tossed their Starbucks cup into the trash and have swallowed the last bite of their gourmet salads.
I have a nice house (not paid off), still buying nice furniture to furnish it, I have a paid off 8year old semi-fancy car that will probably be my last car ever. 
Oh, and I'm too old to retire "early". But at least I can get back on track and live without worry in retirement.

pachnik

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Re: Who have you told about your FI/plans?
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2014, 07:51:04 AM »
Oh, and I'm too old to retire "early". But at least I can get back on track and live without worry in retirement.

+1 @ BlueHouse. 

I will be retiring in mid-to late 50's so nothing too shocking.  I don't really talk about it other than to my parents and one close friend.  My car (2009 Honda Civic) is also paid off and I intend to hang on to it for a long time.  We'll be moving soon into a not-very-fancy suite that my parents own and so hope to stay there permanently.