I'm considering letting my folks use a studio apt. above my garage as a living area in exchange for my dad working for me. He would have to work about 1day/week to cover expenses of the arrangement. It's a rental that we normally would rent out to someone else. Sadly their fancy-pants lifestyle (living on a boat) and other situations mean they have few options for a land-based living arrangement.
Partly I see this as fulfilling my obligation to take care of them, partly it would make it easier for my dad to work for me as he already does, since his staying with us in our home creates various forms of tension. They are in their 80's and while they're ever optimistic that their situation will turn around someday, I see it as their somedays are in short supply and perhaps it's less optimism and more denial of their situation.
In a nutshell:
• They have a boat to live on but in some ways are getting too old to do so. They're otherwise committed to the lifestyle. Selling the boat, while it makes sense, is not something they wish to do.
• They have a houseful of furniture and other belongings in 3 storage units where it has been for many years. Effort to encourage and help them downsize have met with little success. A year ago one unit was broken into and some things stolen, and a general mess made of the unit. I've offered help to pare down the stuff (much of it is useless paperwork and out of date consumer goods) but this is also not welcomed. I've managed one visit to find keepsakes, and managed a couple of boxes of photos, not all the ones I want to find. The furniture and other goods are for when they get a house or apt, again unlikely given their finances. My worries over the storage units are twofold; one the cost, two that they will forget or become unable to pay and the stuff (some of which is precious if I can find it) will be tossed.
• They are living on fixed SSI incomes beyond their means, but won't accept my help to gain control. No savings that I know of, some debt which they don't want to talk about. The boat payment is small. More denial here.
• Mom has memory problems, getting worse. Dad is in good health for his age. They have Medicare or Medicaid or both. Obviously I need to find out more but it's difficult with one parent unable to recall certain details and the other very defensive of her.
I'd appreciate thoughts on what I might not be considering about this situation. They haven't committed yet are thinking it over, they visited last night to check it out while I paint etc. Part of me wants to do what I can to help, the other wants to run far, far away from the entire situation, or, at a minimum, butt out.
Thanks.