Hi, this is my first post. I found MMM after that huge article that made him sound like he denies his kid packs of Magic cards. Came here to read the whole story, and am all-in. Actually we've been working really intermittently hard at getting out of debt ever since we got married almost 8 years ago. My question is about "getting ahead" by relying on a parent who herself is not FI but doesn't want to be.
3 years ago we started renting part of my mom's house from her (2 bedrooms, 900 sq ft, Denver metro area) for 850 a month. This was nearly fair rent then but isn't anymore. I'll spare you the details, but my mom's finances give me panic attacks. It's not bad by the standards of our culture, though. She could definitely rent this place out for more, but she doesn't want to deal with renters. She really doesn't want us to leave but if we do, she will sell this place and get a senior condo. With home values up in Denver, that could make a huge difference in her own financial stability. Yet, she doesn't want us to leave. We are starting to look for homes because it feels like we are taking advantage of her - and her lack of concern over her own finances. We also are 30+ with kids and want to be on our own. Buying costs less than renting, we want to live in this area for the long term, and we qualify for a no pmi, low down payment loan because of our low income.
My question is really whether it is unfair to live with my mom, thereby further reinforcing her debt-dependent lifestyle, as a means to save money and reduce our own debt.
After rent, bills, living expenses and everything, we have about 700-1000 left each month. It was hard to accomplish this!
We have 6,000 in a savings account.
We have about 50,000 combined student loan debt left.
We already paid off our car, the credit cards our younger stupider selves racked up, and one student loan.
We paid for our wedding and rings with 5,000 we had saved before.
We both have retirement accounts at work that we're contributing barely anything to, because our employers don't match it. I think I contribute about 300 a month and my husband contributes like 20 dollars. I feel like I don't understand investing at all and have a fear that we're going to mess up with our goals. I feel like I can't be trusted with my own money because I never learned how this works.
We cannot increase our income right now because my husband is home with our kids and works part time. We both feel it is really important to give our kids as much of our time as possible. We do pay about 300 a month for our son to go to preschool, which we will not do next year. I also just took a new teaching job in a current neighborhood (yes...next to the home I want to move out of). So after this school year we are going to sell car 2, I will commute by bike and that will free up some funds, too. That decision, of course, being a direct result of reading MMM.
I see lots of great advice in the comments and forums, and would definitely appreciate some perspective. Thank you.
It feels like it makes most sense to stay here a while, do my bike commuting, save more money, let the market hopefully cool down in Denver, and buy something later. But I cannot stop calculating how much our presence here is costing my mom every month.