Oh man, I was stationed in Norfolk for 6 years, and I know exactly which 2 roads you are talking about. I rode my bike in that area exactly once, and it terrified me. I can't imagine wrangling two small kids across those roads.
Ideas for making it better:
1. If you want to keep walking, figure out how to make yourself as weird and disagreeable as possible while crossing the street. Buy a panic whistle, and blast away while in the crossing zone. Glare. Rant. Wave your arms. Get a fog horn, and blow it at cars that don't appear to be slowing down adequately. Speak loudly to the voices in your head while gesticulating grandly. If you act unpredictable enough, you'll instill uncertainty into the drivers and that uncertainty will make them much more caution about approaching the intersection.
2. As you said, advocate with the city planning to get better traffic light timing. Push for dedicated pedestrian crossing times at the intersections, with large and well placed No Turn On Red signs, and some cops stationed to discourage violators. I'd suggest contacting Prospector on this forum; he's a traffic guy and would know the best language to use when drafting your request, and the best route of submission.
3. When the City drags it's feet, put that amazing military social network into gear and figure out how to shame the absolute living fuck out of the City. Campaigns. Billboards. Intersection sit-ins. Whatever you need. Norfolk's economy basically is the military, and if you figure out the right PR spin the City will capitulate.
Good luck! I actually really enjoyed Norfolk, especially the Ghent area. I hope you find some joy there.