Miserable in Job - Time to Look Elsewhere?

[jwood83]

Hi everyone,

I think the title says it all. I have a job that I am absolutely miserable in (for a variety of reasons). I try not to give too much info away online, but it's in the insurance industry working for a large company. The benefits are good, and I make decent money (60k+), have a company car, and good insurance.

The stress is the travel (I'm out of state in a hotel as I type this), the negative atmosphere (lots of unhappy customers to deal with), and the long hours (I'm generally up until 10 almost every night completing projects). The turnover rate is high in this role and I'm not surprised. My wife has noticed that my personality has become more miserable and irritable as opposed to the happy and fun guy I was prior.

I feel crazy for even considering it since I'm doing well on paper, but I would love to go back to a position where I am genuinely happy (I have two jobs I could go to, but would probably make half of what I make now).

If that did occur, we would still be able to pay bills and stash cash, albeit not as much. The good news is my wife's business recently signed a solid contract so one she starts that in April, it may be a better gauge of if I can reasonably leave without impacting our finances too much.

I apologize this is rambling, but it feels good to air out my frustration finally. (I would've typed more in depth too, but I'm on my phone in a hotel room so hard to type).

[lpep]

Sorry you're having a tough time! It sounds to me like you've already decided to leave. Keep in mind the difference between frugality and cheapness - cheapness is making decisions that hurt your well-being just to save money, and it sounds like staying at that job would be cheap.

[Spondulix]

Jobs are temporary, and they aren't life (which it sounds like you might be missing if you're working til 10 every night). Find something else!

[valk001]

Hi everyone,

I think the title says it all. I have a job that I am absolutely miserable in (for a variety of reasons). I try not to give too much info away online, but it's in the insurance industry working for a large company. The benefits are good, and I make decent money (60k+), have a company car, and good insurance.

The stress is the travel (I'm out of state in a hotel as I type this), the negative atmosphere (lots of unhappy customers to deal with), and the long hours (I'm generally up until 10 almost every night completing projects). The turnover rate is high in this role and I'm not surprised. My wife has noticed that my personality has become more miserable and irritable as opposed to the happy and fun guy I was prior.

I feel crazy for even considering it since I'm doing well on paper, but I would love to go back to a position where I am genuinely happy (I have two jobs I could go to, but would probably make half of what I make now).

If that did occur, we would still be able to pay bills and stash cash, albeit not as much. The good news is my wife's business recently signed a solid contract so one she starts that in April, it may be a better gauge of if I can reasonably leave without impacting our finances too much.

I apologize this is rambling, but it feels good to air out my frustration finally. (I would've typed more in depth too, but I'm on my phone in a hotel room so hard to type).

I am in the same boat man.  I am in the military and every day it eats away at me for a lot of reasons.  I would start looking for a job that helps you be happy, or at the very least does not cause you to be unhappy. 

[Lordy]

Time to move on.

Money is not good long-term motivator so the longer you stay the unhappier you will get. And sometimes you have to take a step back before making two steps forward.

Best of luck to you :)

[Retired To Win]

When I first started reading the original post, I was going to recommend not leaving the old job until a new one was secured.  Okay, I still recommend that, BUT...

The OP sounds SO miserable in the current position that I would not wait to land a matched-pay substitute.  I would just make sure I had landed a replacement job that did not destroy my finances.  Then I would, in a much more positive and happier frame of mind, see what other possibilities might present themselves.

But I would get out of the misery as soon as I could financially manage it.

Good luck.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

If your wife is noticing it changing your personality, it's time to get a new job. My wife had a job she was miserable at for six months (she was able to transition to a job she liked better at the same place) and as the spouse it was really unpleasant. Who likes not looking forward to the love of their life getting home?

[Lookilu]

If your wife is noticing it changing your personality, it's time to get a new job. My wife had a job she was miserable at for six months (she was able to transition to a job she liked better at the same place) and as the spouse it was really unpleasant. Who likes not looking forward to the love of their life getting home?

^^This.^^
When your miserable job is impacting your personality, it's impacting your private life and your relationships in a  very real and very bad way. As far as I know, we only get one chance at this life. Don't waste the time you have.
Get out.
That's what having FU money is all about. Good luck to you!

[jwood83]

Thank you guys so much for the insight, I genuinely appreciate it.

I will post more at depth when I return to a computer (in a training class today two states away from home).

My short term goal is to stay until a reasonable replacement job comes along while using my income here to pay off a few credit cards we are working on destroying (this should only take 2-3 months). I think if I can make it to June (when cards are paid off and wife begins her contract), I can leave here without any financial changes overall.

Thanks again for the replies!

[HazelStone]

Wow- this sounds just like me 4-5 years ago. I worked in an insurance agency, not at company level, but yeah, the field can be miserable. My husband told me that if I wanted to quit and just look for something else, he'd support it. Since this was the first job after a long spell of unemployment, and a much crappier job market, I was too chicken to do it. I took classes to train in other things, and got into another field. Insurance is a field that is going to automate more and more, and pile more of what work is left on fewer humans. It's a sucker's field.

If you can find some job paying a living wage, RUN. Even if you have to leave before that, seriously consider it. I did not realize how much it was affecting my marriage until after I was gone from that job.

[rocketman48097]

You haven't looked hard enough.  Most people quitting get a pay increase, not a decrease.  Keep looking until you find something with less travel and hours, and with similar or greater pay.  It's out there, but you need to start looking.

I was lucky in that I quit my hated job, got a new one I love, and have increased pay and they have continued to increase my pay.  I am now getting promoted this year.  I love it here and am so glad I left, not once did I regret leaving the misery job. 

[catccc]

left a miserable job about a year ago for a slight salary cut.  But if you look at the hours I worked, it was actually a raise.  Your well being is worth so much, don't sell it out.  I'm so much happier now.  If you can get out and still pay the bills and save a little, DO IT! 

I can't stress enough how much happier I am now than a year ago.

[jwood83]

Thanks everyone for the responses, I really appreciate it! Finally back home after back to back travel and training days (which affects me getting my actual work completed). It was nice, though, because I was able to meet other people in our field, many with similar feelings to mine. The company tends to throw good benefits and money at us, but expect an outrageous amount of work that cannot possibly be balanced (unless you're single and have no problem with 60+ hours a week on salary).

My wife and I both have side businesses. Her's is more profitable, but mine has the potential to do well if I focused more on it. I would like to give my current job a few more months before I throw in the towel since we need the income, but in the meantime we are paying off what we can, and I am exploring other opportunities in fields that I enjoy.

Again, thanks so much for hearing me out. I'm glad I am not unique in experiencing this.