might be needing a facepunch- vacation/trip

[partgypsy]

Hello I first want to admit I am not a true "mustachian". My husband and I do live below our means, but we are spendy in comparisons to people here (especially on grocery/restaurants) and I save 10% of my income plus 5% matching. We also recently emptied our emergency fund of everything except 3K in order to re-roof our house and some carpentry done.
We did elope and didn't really have a honeymoon. It will be our 20th anniversary next spring, and I would like a "nice" trip.

Typically we spend 1-2K max per year on trips and vacations (few days to beach, camping, staying at family cabin, or plane tickets to visit family). However I think my hedonic adaption has gone up, in that his parents in law have treated us to 3 really nice vacations, so maybe my expectations/entitlement have gone up? I would not mind just doing a couples trip (which would save money and be more romantic) but he insists if we do a nice vacation the kids are included so they will not miss the experiences.
The two trips I have in mind (staycation at nice resort in Tulum area, or 7 day carribbean cruise) both work out to be around 3600, which will probably be a little more when you include tipping, etc. That is more than we have ever spent on a trip. However I think it is a decent value from all the research I have done, and will tick off some bucket list items (rainforest, snorkeling in the Caribbean).

Debt is 3K (long story, something I'm paying in installments over the next year), efund again is only 3K, have (edited) 168K in retirement accounts. Because my husband is working more we are clearing 1.5K more than we spend each month, which up until this month has been used to either put towards the additional house expenses and also pay for specialized tutoring for youngest over the summer.

Typically we save up for something before spending it. Here, I feel I need to decide, because some of the booking, specials, are time sensitive. But I am thinking my husband is going to balk, and maybe I am being unreasonable.

 

[swick]

There will ALWAYS be booking specials and travel deals. These are all carefully crafted to make you think you are missing out on the deal of a life time. YOU ARE NOT There will always be more deals.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but with the numbers you present, you are not in a good position financially - it isn't even a matter of "Being Mustachian" You are in a vulnerable position. 

If you have been married for 20 years you are older, and without a significant amount in retirement (unless you both get pensions and are planning on retiring at a traditional age) you are in a vulnerable position

If you have to empty your emergency fund for roof repairs, you are in a vulnerable position.

If you are in debt you are in a vulnerable position.

If you are only clearing 1.5 K more then you spend because your husband is working more (is this sustainable?) And you are currently spending it - you are in a vulnerable position.

Do you have life insurance/disability insurance? Would you and your kids be OK if something happen to your husband? If not, you are in a vulnerable position.

If you are putting money into "family" vacations IF ANY of the above describe your circumstances you are putting your family at risk for the sake of a nice vacation.

Your kids have their whole lives ahead of them. By splurging on a nice vacation when you can't afford it, and from the information you provided, you really can't. You are teaching them poor money management skills and setting them up to get use to things they might not be able to afford on their own.

Find a groupon for a local stay near by, pack some fancy foods from the supermarket and celebrate your marriage and partnership without being focused on all the extra material stuff....and leave the kids at home!

[James]

Typically we save up for something before spending it. Here, I feel I need to decide, because some of the booking, specials, are time sensitive. But I am thinking my husband is going to balk, and maybe I am being unreasonable.

You already know the answer, save up for any vacation just like you would for any other purchase. And you should not be saving for a vacation, you should be paying off your debt!

You say you are not a "true" mustachian, but did you expect our advice to give you leeway to be a consumer sucker just because you declare you aren't mustachian? You can always do whatever the hell you want, but our advice should be the same regardless. You are in debt and shouldn't be spending money on a vacation like that. Period. If you want to go and do it anyway we won't stop you, but there is nothing you can say to justify it.

[begood]

How are you planning on paying for this vacation? It's the same amount ($3K) as what's left of your decimated emergency fund AND it's the same amount as the debt you're already paying off. Please don't take on MORE DEBT to go on vacation - would you really enjoy it knowing you'd be paying off 7 days for 365 days or more?

[partgypsy]

Well, that's what you guys are good for!
May not be in as bad shape as you may think; I'm a gov employee so will be receiving a pension in addition to ss and whatever I save for retirement.

I'm not planning on early early retirement. I'm hoping to retire at 62 or work part time after 62. According to multiple estimators will have well over 100% of replacement income with these things. In fact I will be close to 70% of current income if wanted to live off ss and pension alone. 
We refinanced to a 15 year mortgage, so our house will be paid off 3 years before I plan to retire.

But I don't want to wait till I'm 62 to do things off bucket lists.
But yeah. It has worked well for us so far to save before spending, should continue to do so, and not count on chickens being hatched. This will be the first year ever he will make over 10K a year, so I am pretty psyched. But it's only been about 4, 5 months, so I should temper my enthusiasm, and build our efund back up.   

I know no financial person advises this, but we do our taxes so we get about 1500 back. We use this as our vacation fund. That means we would need an additional 2K from what we normally spend that year. 
 

[Sibley]

Cut expenses, similar to what many (most) of us have done. Use that money to rebuild your efund and some vacation savings.

[russianswinga]

For the Caribbean, sail on MSC Cruises. Kids under 12 sail free, under 17 are discounted.

For comparison, Royal Caribbean Cruises wanted $450 for the fare for my 6-month old baby, when full adult fare was $600 for that room. MSC just wants the port tax.

Plus, the Divina is gorgeous!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10205473765427628&type=1&l=cb60eb1153



Here is a quick search of its itineraries and prices this fall / winter / spring:

http://shop.cruisedeals.com/cs/forms/CruiseResultPage.aspx?skin=555&mon=11%2f1%2f2015&did=1&pid=9288&vid=613&sid=1790&dt=5%2f31%2f2016&len=0|999&sort=10

You're welcome ;)

[Retire-Canada]

Typically we save up for something before spending it. Here, I feel I need to decide, because some of the booking, specials, are time sensitive. But I am thinking my husband is going to balk, and maybe I am being unreasonable.

- Get a LOC (say $10K to start with as your EF)
- pay the $3K cash EF against your debt
- You have a reasonable retirement plan in place based on your goals
- spend the money on your trip if you can pay for it from your saved income without going into debt again [pay with CC and pay a month later that gives you several pay periods for you and your husband to come up with the money]

If you can't pay for the trip without going into debt than I'd say you are being unreasonable and you need to plan a lower cost trip.

- Vik

[BlueHouse]

The two trips I have in mind (staycation at nice resort in Tulum area, or 7 day carribbean cruise) both work out to be around 3600
 

I'm a little behind on the cutesy terms used used to identify all he reasons we should feel entitled to a vacation, but I thought staycation meant you stay home, work around the house, read a book, make some good meals, and sleep late. How does staycation equate with a resort stay? 

[Rubic]

No facepunch from me, but have you considering churning credit cards?  If you have good credit and are willing to take the time, you can earn enough points to pay for your next vacation.

[stlbrah]

Another port others haven't mentioned is that 'resort' vacations are usually not worth it. Most offer no exposure to culture. I would save the money and go camping.

[Friar]

I'm a little behind on the cutesy terms used used to identify all he reasons we should feel entitled to a vacation, but I thought staycation meant you stay home, work around the house, read a book, make some good meals, and sleep late. How does staycation equate with a resort stay?

You are correct, and it doesn't.

Maybe OP meant a local (presumably state bound) holiday.

[partgypsy]

Yeah used staycation wrong. My husband likes vacations where stay in 1 place, versus such as a cruise or a tour where going to multiple destinations on same trip/vacation.

We are going on a 1 week trip this summer, road trip, with 3 days in a hotel and seeing family. So it's not like we won't have any vacation this summer.

For most vacations we stay at a family cabin, and we have had some nice camping trips, but I wanted something different. To be honest I want an adults only vacation, so already the trip was a (too  expensive) compromise. 

We have had alot of crazy expenses this past year (some planned, some not) so the smart thing to do is to replace our efund first. Also want to pay for gutters soon, (another 1.5K).
Thank you for your feedback, it made me see things different. Close family, friends think of us doing well, because they know we have alot of equity in our house and are not in debt, but we are not shooting for normal, right?   

We do use credit cards for points back. I recently added a cc that gives 5% back on grocery, since that is our biggest spending area. I don't think my personality fits doing churning because having 2 versus 1 cc is already irritating me.