I really feel like I'm getting mentally past those things I used to use as excuses, such as "not being able to talk to people." I do it every day at my job, so I should be a lot better at it than I used to be. I really do think it's all in my head. I can do a phone interview as well as another person, maybe better. I can do an in-person interview as well as another person, too. I'm really not as bad at these things as I think I am.
I feel bad about leaving my "safe place," though. I like having the excuse of "I have social anxiety and ASD" to fall back on if things don't pan out. I'm at the point where I feel like I HAVE to try something new, though, because what I'm doing isn't exactly working.
Hi OP, I remember you. It sounds like you're doing some good analysis of what's behind the stuck-ness. That's good. Keep it up!
Before you were scared of teaching overseas, now you didn't mention that. Did you get over that?
Several people have offered suggestions around finding a better place to teach.
Are you willing to relocate/move? Or not, and if not, why not?
Bump.
+1
Sometimes, an entirely alien environment - like Asia, which has been my home for ~13 years - can be easier to adjust to than one that is one's 'home country'. There's a lot of prejudice in the northern/Western US if one is southern, especially if one has a 'southern' accent [an accent that many English love btw]. As a poster mentioned above, teaching ESL overseas will bump up your salary upon a return to the US. Also, the social and work life in English overseas is...different than the US. More diverse, yet more limited. More possibilities, more cosmopolitan, and if you do it right, much faster salary advancement, which will translate to a much better salary upon your return to the US.
I'm not trying to make excuses, but before I go overseas, I need to make sure my communication and organization problems are a thing of the past. A foreign teacher might think I'm mocking him or her if I show up to teach unprepared one day, but this has been a subtle nightmare where I've worked throughout my life. Sometimes my mind just doesn't cooperate with me. I feel like I've improved tremendously lately, though.
Then don't go overseas. Are you actively doing something to "make sure [your] communication and organization problems are a thing of the past"? Do you have good reason to believe you are almost to that point? Like, within months? If not, then this probably isn't the right path for you, because you need to do something about your situation now, not two years from now when you've had more therapy and whatever else you do. If, in two years, you are at that point, you can reconsider. Until then you need to find a plan you can start now. It sounds like overseas is not that plan. Fine. So cross it off your list, don't look back, and move forward toward something else. You are still just spitballing various option on the internet. You could easily do that for decades. And you'll still be right where you are, geographically, financially, emotionally, and in all other ways.
Also, as someone who has moved overseas and who struggles with social anxiety, I'd say that my experience was a bit different and that in same ways I think think being in a new environment with those kinds of issues can be harder, not easier. I still feel a deep sense of... shame, I guess... every time I can't figure out a parking meter and I need to ask a stranger for help and hope that our limited language skills and our charades are enough, or when I don't quite know the etiquette associated with something and I'm worried I am going to offend, or whatever. The alien environment and resulting lack of cultural literacies has really, really challenged my anxieties.
And again, since you aren't at the point where you are ready to tackle that anyway, it's probably not the right choice for you. (Does it even appeal to you, outside of the money?) So move on to the things that are. If it interests you, keep it on the back burner as an option for the future. But right now, you need to focus on the getting a meal started on the front burner so you can feed yourself. Pick an option you can begin executing today. You aren't there for overseas teaching, and you don't know if/when you will be. Nothing wrong with that. But you can begin executing a plan to get a much better teaching job in the US today.
You need to start making decisions, and taking actions. You've been chewing over options for months, or longer. Enough. Decide, and act!